Good for Me

by Aeryn Jaden

  “I like this.”

  I felt a soft kiss on my hair and smiled.

  “I know, baby. I knew you would. We kinda messed things up with jumping into bed before dating. My fault.”

  “I remember it different. I remember I was the one that issued the invitation.”

  Well, I didn’t mean it at the time but it turned up okay. Better than okay, and I wasn’t thinking about orgasms, I was thinking about us ending there at that beautiful lake, together.

  “You didn’t mean it.”

  That was creepy.

  “You were baiting me and I took advantage. Then I pushed some more when I came to talk to you yesterday.”

  “I do remember some pushing being involved.”

  “Goof. I was trying to apologize here. You deserved a special first time.”

  I stood and chewed that for some minutes while he sighed dejected. I had the courage to say what I said next only because he couldn’t see my face.

  “I though it was pretty special.”

  His arms constricted around me and blocked my air supply. I felt another of those feather kisses on my temple and he murmured in my ear,

  “I though it was special too. You are special, Tyler.”

  It was a happy day. And I started to hope more days could be like this with Bain.

  My place was a mess. It usually is, but this time… Somebody had a lot of fun here.

  The police came, saw, dusted for prints and went their separate way. I was a low priority case since nobody was dead or something like that. My usual contacts at the police station, detective Stevens and Mcbride were off-duty and out of reach. Bain was prowling like a caged animal, turning and checking things over and over again. I was already tired, after all the interviews and on top of it the mountain air had made me almost lethargic. It will probably hit me tomorrow, but for now, I just wanted to hide in my bed with Bain’s arms around me and let him keep the entire world at bay.

  “This is not a regular break- in.”

  “I gathered that. Since nothing is really missing and all.”

  I made a helpless gesture at the mess around us. My eyes landed on my upturned table. One leg was broken, the surface all scarred. The sight almost broke me. That was the first thing I bought once I got out from my parents’ house.

  “No, I mean yes, the place was ransacked and all, but whoever did it got a bit testy towards the end.”

  He absently grabbed my trembling hand, unconsciously trying to comfort.

  “This is not good, Tyler. It’s more serious than you want to believe. Somebody was in your home in the middle of the day and did this. Maybe they knew that you won’t be here. Then they are following you. But maybe they didn’t care or even counted on you being home. Do you imagine what could have happened? This is really bad. And the state they left your house shows they didn’t found what they were looking for.”

  He picked up a sliced pillow and kicked a broken chair.

  “This is the work of somebody very angry. Next time they’ll make sure you’ll be home to give them what they want.”

  I listened, carefully counting my breaths while I took in more destruction in my kitchen. I climbed on the one chair that had all its legs and reached behind the kitchen cupboard where I had taped my hard drive copy with my latest computer projects. I felt around the tape and pulled the drive out. My laptop was thankfully safe, I had taken it with me this morning.

  “No, they didn’t found what they were looking for.”

  I handed the drive to Bain and retreated to the bathroom. The same mess here too. The sink was broken, the mirror littered on my bathroom’s tiles. Among other things.

  The cold water helped me focus a little.

  “You’re not staying here.”

  “I’m not letting anyone run me out of my home.”

  “Tyler…”

  “No. Besides, where would I go?”

  “My place.”

  My surprised look didn’t improve his mood.

  “You have a case to follow through. What if somebody sees me at your place?”

  Bain’s troubled expression told me he hadn’t thought about that. Still, the fact that he offered put another crack in my resistance towards him.

  “Ok. You’re right. Do you have some relatives close-by?”

  “None that I care to mention.”

  His face darkened when he figured out what I meant.

  “Oh. Okay. Then you’ll stay with mine. My sister lives ten minutes from here. She has a spare room.”

  “Bain, I’m not leaving.”

  “Not negotiable. You’re coming and that’s it.”

  “Maybe that caveman attitude works on others but for me it’s only annoying.”

  He glowered at me, looking all mean and intimidating. I returned his efforts with a faint smile. His macho posture deflated.

  “Fuck. Picked up a hell of a time to show you’re not at all afraid of me.”

  “Told you I wasn’t.”

  “Yeah, well…Tyler.”

  He rubbed my hands and turned the puppy pleading look on.

  “It’s not safe here and I won’t mess with your safety. Please.”

  Ouch, that visibly hurt him. I found myself caressing a side of his face.

  “I’m sorry. I can’t.”

  “You mean you won’t.”

  Shit, this opening up was difficult to do. I shook my head and kept my hand in place. His eyes were harder to meet this time. I’m not good at letting others see me vulnerable.

  “Call it how you want. I won’t be run out of my home. Bain, try to understand. I can’t run. Never again. I made a promise to myself.”

  “You ran from me without problem.”

  That hurt. And was unfair.

  “You’re being unfair. I didn’t know what I was doing. Not completely. And you have your share of the blame.”

  “Shit. Sorry, Tyler. Sorry.”

  “That’s okay. I’ll also probably do it again.”

  I rubbed my other hand in a soothing gesture on his chest. I didn’t want to fight.

  “I just don’t want anything to happen to you.”

  “I know. It won’t. I’ll call a security company and have a system installed today, okay? And in case you forgot, I’m not helpless either.”

  “I know you aren’t. You could probably bring me down in five seconds.”

  “Three.”

  “Huh.” He seemed dubious for a second. “There’s no skill that can face a gun and win, Ty.”

  Well, he had a point there.

  “I’ll be okay. I’ll have the alarm. And I still have your number on speed dial one.”

  “Good. I still don’t like it…”

  He frowned at me, probably trying again some intimidation tactic.

  “Bain.”

  “Fine. But I’m calling you every evening. And you’ll keep your phone close by at all times.”

  “Yes, mother.”

  “Joke all you want. I also talked to some friends in the force, they’ll have a car pass by your house every three hours or so.”

  “Bain!”

  He lifted up an eyebrow at me and I shut up. That was actually a good idea. I was stubborn, not stupid. I started smiling mischievously when I though about it for a second.

  “Already talked to them, did you? So much for your hopes I’ll move elsewhere for a while.”

  He sighed like he was in pain.

  “Yeah, well, I had a hunch you’ll be pigheaded about this. I’m spending the night here.”

  I didn’t expect less.

  “Are you, now?”

  “Yes, I am. You’ll have to bodily throw me out.”

  He clearly expected some resistance. Fuck that. I needed him with me so I won’t think about somebody in my house, touching and destroying my stuff. Besides, he was just too cute when he got all growly and protective like that. Not that I’ll say the C word aloud to him. I tried unsuccessfully to hide my smile and nodded seriously.

&n
bsp; “Better stay then. I’ll need help with cleaning around here.”

  I waited for that to sink in before I turned towards the bedroom and tried to look at him over my shoulder with my best imitation of a come-hitter look.

  “And I do believe I promised somebody a blow job…”

  I managed to hold back a squeal when I found myself airborne and landed on the surprisingly unharmed mattress.

  “Good payment method.”

  We were both laughing at each other’s antics when our mouths sealed. Then we proceeded in educating me in the fine art of giving a good blow-job. Turns out I’m an excellent student and a natural.

  We settled in some sort of routine. He would call me two or three times a day when he was unable to meet me. Usually he tried to pass by my house at night. Sometimes he spent the night, other times he had more work to do. I didn’t ask where he was going at those late hours because frankly, I didn’t want to know.

  The sex was fantastic. Since that day in the lab, we took it easy (if you could call it that way how he made me feel). Blow jobs, hand jobs, frottage but he didn’t pushed it any further than that. He was driving me crazy, it was like he was courting my body.

  Well, I didn’t mind. I liked having him inside me but it was taxing on the body and I walked like an old man the next day. Plus it made me feel too much. I don’t know if I was ready for that again.

  The kisses were a must- he kissed me when we were eating, when passing by me on the way to bathroom, before we went to sleep or when he had to go. I was addicted to his kisses. I was starting to suspect I was addicted to more than his kisses.

  They finished installing the alarm system and he was there to check it out. The guys from the security company had a bit of a hard time under his vigilant surveillance. One told me under the breath, so that the scary giant doesn’t hear him, that I didn’t need a watch dog with Bain around. I laughed ‘till my stomach hurt. Then Bain would bark a question or a demand and I would start again.

  I was enjoying myself and I refused to voice any doubt or bring up those things that still bothered me. When he came with lipstick on his shirt and smelling of perfume I just gritted my teeth and let him blow it from my mind. After we settled for the night I stood there in the dark, watching him sleep peacefully beside me. He would turn and toss, then turn again and pull me close before settling in.

  I understood. But it hurt. And I knew then that we won’t last.

  Chapter Ten

  Finally! This semester had been hell on his nerves. The beginning of its last month was actually marked on his calendar. So was the one week break he had after that. It was quite stressful avoiding home for so many weeks in a row. He had managed to get ahead of schedule with his painting projects and had the last pieces for next month’s exposition ready and delivered. His agent had checked on him to see if he was ill when he had received them before the deadline. Hilarious.

  He would have started on the next commission if he hadn’t received that call. Now he didn’t knew if he should feel relieved or hide some more.

  Sure, it was shitty thing to do leaving Ty all alone, especially now, but Sean was an even worse liar than his elder brother. He could charm his way out of a sticky situation but he doubted his special brand of charm would work on Ty. Now he apparently could get the load off his chest and confess his sins. Somehow he didn’t think he’ll get a hundred Hail Mary’s as penance. That thought didn’t make home sound more appealing at all. He deserved it though.

  He crawled reluctantly though the threshold, stumbled on something and proceeded to meet the floor face first. Great. This boded well. His hand landed in something that felt sticky and squishy and he lifted his eyes dreading what he’ll find. And, yep, it sure was exactly how he had imagined it. The view was hurting his eyes. Pigsty was too mild a word for the state the house was in.

  He banged his head on the floor trying hard to keep his cool. Going once, going twice. Hell, he could do this all day and night. He wouldn’t even get to yell at Tyler for this since he had those sins to confess and some making up to do! But this? This was just cruel, man! And he just knew it wasn’t intentional done. God knows what would have happened if Ty would try to wreck the house on purpose!

  “So happy to see familiar ground?”

  Well shit. Since when was Ty home and awake at eight o’clock in the morning? He was not prepared yet!

  “Quite” he mumbled while scrunching his shoulders. It was a funny look with him being over six foot and sprawled on the entrance carpet but for now he couldn’t appreciate the humor in the situation.

  “I tried to reach you, oh, I don’t know, for some weeks now. Your agent was kind enough to tell me you’re alive. And I really appreciate the updates you left on the machine. Those “Still alive” and “Still working” detailed messages I received really reassured me… that you’re not in some ditch doing drugs again or that some sleezeball hasn’t kidnapped you or worse!”

  His tone had gone way up, there at the end, and Sean had the impulse to cover his ears knowing it was only the beginning. He didn’t found himself often in this position (either the floor or the accused bench).Usually he was the one doing the screaming and he made a mental note to take it easy when somebody pissed him off next time. Screeching so loud could affect the hearing. Not to say probably scramble the brain.

  “What the hell is wrong with you! You have time to talk to your agent but not me?! I was ready to call the police! You fucking made me call Richard!”

  Sean blanched and raised his head in alarm.

  “You didn’t!”

  “The hell I didn’t! You moron!”

  “What the hell was I supposed to do? I couldn’t come home!”

  He huffed for breath and tried to calm down. Tyler was watching him with a tense expression. Shit, he’d fucked it bad this time. So, what else is new?!

  “Bain called me.”

  Tyler looked at him, thrown aback.

  “Bain? Why? How?”

  “Checked your phone lately? He tried to contact you and when he couldn’t get through, he called me.”

  “Since when has Bain your number?”

  He rolled and sat with his back leaned on the door. He wished he hadn’t stopped smoking.

  “Since you kicked Astor’s ass and fainted on us.”

  “Why didn’t I know about this?”

  Sean closed his eyes and let his head trump on the door.”

  “Sean, what am I missing?”

  “Promise me you won’t freak out?”

  “No.”

  He sighed and took a deep breath, preparing for the best but expecting the worst.

  “Bain is a cop. He’s working a drug case undercover at the university. I recognized him because I saw him at the police station two years ago when they busted me for drug possession. He approached me because he wanted to see if I’ll blow his cover or if I have anything to do with his case. We worked it out and he asked me to keep quiet until he can tell you himself.”

  The prolonged silence didn’t bode well.

  “You avoided home for more than one month and made me call the police because Bain told you to keep quiet?”

  “I can’t lie to you. You’ll know.”

  “Yes, I’ll know. And I already knew about Bain. He told me some weeks ago moron.”

  Tyler closed his eyes and Sean braced himself.

  “Why did Bain call?”

  “He closed the case last night. Made the arrests and all. They were a lot of people involved. Even one of the security guards.”

  “How considerate of him to let me know.”

  Tyler opened his eyes and Sean winced. He had expected anger but had never wanted to hurt him.

  “Sean, whose brother are you?”

  “Ty…”

  “No, I get. The guy I kind of date asks you to hide something from me and you say “no problem, dude!”.”

  “You’re dating him now? Wow, the dude has guts. Big cohones.”

  Maybe
not the smartest thing to say. He could see that in retrospective.

  “Ty, I could tell you liked him. And he seemed like a nice guy. I didn’t want to mess things up for you.”

  “No. He manages to do that by himself.”

  Ouch. Somebody will get it bad. But he was still worried. He was missing something here. Ty looked almost sad, the anger couldn’t hide it.

  “Want to tell me about it?”

  His brother’s face crumbled and a lone tear fell. He looked at Sean like was a kid again and Sean opened his arms for him. Although he was younger, he had always tried to look out for his brother. Even if he hadn’t always managed to do it, he still tried. He may joke and tease, but Ty was his only stable point in his life. The only one that always stayed by his side and was there when he needed somebody to rely on. He tried to return the favor but it was never enough.

  “He…he…God, Sean, I care about him! So much! But I don’t think I can do this. This case… his work… I can’t stand it!”

  “Is it because he’s a cop?”

  Ty sniffed and Sean ignored it when he felt his shirt getting wet. He patted him on the back, unused to touch his brother. Ty always shied from touch or emotions. He hadn’t seen him cry like this in almost eight years.

  “Yes…no…It’s because of what he has to do. Just three days ago he had a hickey on his neck. Sean, I’m… I can’t stand the thought of somebody else touching him. I… I know I’m inexperienced…”

  “Fuck. He’s cheating on you?! I’ll cut his fucking balls off.”

  He tensed and abstained from springing to go kill the motherfucker. His brother needed him more for the moment. There was time. Tyler tried to laugh and failed.

  “No...well, it’s not actually cheating. He is undercover. Things happen.”

  “Fuck that. Fuck this. Things don’t just happen. You shouldn’t accept this shit. What did the scum said about that?”

  Ty avoided his eyes and averted his face to rub the tears off.

  “I…We talked about it when I caught him with a woman at the university. He was trying to make the rumors about us stop.”

  He nodded hesitantly, closely watching Tyler.

  “I can see that. He is undercover and it wouldn’t look good to be involved with a teacher. How …huh…What were they doing?”