Good for Me

by Aeryn Jaden

  Ty bit his lower lip and looked at him as if he had all the answers.

  “Kissing. I understood that too. But… It hurts, Sean. When he comes home with lipstick on his shirt, or smelling of perfume, I…”

  Motherfucker. Of course it hurt.

  “What did he have to say to those?”

  “I… Um. Didn’tmentionitanymore. “

  Didn’t…?

  “You didn’t say anything to him?”

  “I’ll prefer if you don’t yell, thank you. And I didn’t ask because I didn’t want him to tell me he fucked others on the job.”

  “You don’t know that!”

  This finally stopped Ty’s fidgeting.

  “You think…?”

  “I don’t know! And neither do you.”

  He looked almost hopeful now and Sean pulled his moronic brother down beside him on the floor with their backs to the door. Looks like he got home just in time.

  “Rule one in any relationship is communication. Mind you, I’m not an expert but it seems that there may be a misunderstanding here. As far as I know, cops don’t sleep with suspects when they’re working a case. It may happen but I don’t think Bain needed it to get the case cracked or to save his life. He was practically some hero after he shot that kid and Matthers fired him. He’s the cool dude all look up to. You need to talk with the man, bro.”

  “I guess so.”

  And he seemed so eager to do it. Not.

  “Look at it this way. Either way you’ll know and then you can decide what you want to do. You’re just torturing yourself this way.”

  Ty leaned and to Sean’s surprise put his head on his shoulder.

  “You’re making pancakes for breakfast.”

  “Damn. I had hoped my Dr Love act made you forget about my screw-ups.”

  “Never. I live to take advantage of those. And of you.”

  “Better cook something nice for dinner then. I‘ll make lasagna, you like that, don’t you?”

  He got up and made his way carefully to the kitchen. He took in the new pillows on the couch and the covered table. The kitchen also had some new items.

  “Thanks, Sean.”

  Sean waved him off and stopped when he saw the new painted wall.

  “Tyler…? Did you redecorate?”

  “Replaced some of the stuff that was beyond repair. I stayed out of your room soo…Oh! You don’t know!”

  “Know what?”

  “We had a break in. And I installed an alarm.”

  Yes, he was home just in time.

  ”Sit and talk. Fast.”

  He checked the team’s position and gave them the go-ahead. They entered the frat house, the loud music almost masking their entrance and their orders to get down and put their hands where they could see them. He knew these kids were not playing, the dealers were carrying each a piece and the party was just an excuse for the deals running. They had a nice, low key operation here. Could have continued without problems if they would have kept their merchandise clean. Students dropping left and right attracted a lot of attention. Especially when one of those was the nephew of a police captain.

  Some kid stopped the noise and everybody froze in their tracks, guns pointed at them. He saw a movement with the corner of his eye and saw Tim reaching for something at his back. Bain’s gun changed target and the kid froze in mid-move.

  “I wouldn’t do that if I were you. Hands where I can see them. Where’s Pug?

  He moron risked a quick glance at his feet and Bain grinned broadly. Under the table, go figure.

  “May as well come up, Pug. Unless you want “resisting arrest ” added on that list of charges.”

  The kid rose, not slowly, but almost lazily, keeping the attitude up. And his punk hair in check.

  “What the hell man? You were one of us. We trusted you.”

  “Though luck. You shouldn’t have.”

  They rounded up the dealers and collected the firearms. Illegal possession on top of it all. It wasn’t looking good for the wannabe drug lords.

  “Bain , come check this out.”

  Craig, one of the few people he actually got along with and was pretty much okay on daily bases, waved him to one of the bedrooms. What now? Jesus. He didn’t want to see some kids caught in mid-act. They had already rounded up two couples from the other bedroom and some sick kid from the bathroom. Along with the needles as evidence. The condoms they left.

  “What’ you got?”

  Craig lifted with a glove a library id from the floor.

  “Prof. Tyler Lucas.”

  Hell. He checked around the room and his eyes landed on a familiar pack.

  Craig spotted it too and nodded as if something had clicked.

  “That his pack, isn’t it? The one he got stolen?”

  “Looks like it.”

  He did a quick search, looking for some clues of who had taken the pack, but the room was surprisingly clean. Pristine, compared to the other rooms.

  “Anybody in here when you got in?”

  “Nobody. Which is surprising in a house full of druggies looking for a place to fuck or shoot some. “

  Craig looked contemplative for a moment before getting up and out.

  “Somebody has skipped our house call. Somebody with some authority on these kids. Probably their lead-dealer. “

  “Or he was in the house, downstairs, watching his business.”

  “Maybe.”

  He didn’t look more convinced that Bain was.

  “I heard your guy’s house was broken into.”

  “Some weeks ago, yes.”

  “Nothing since then?”

  He shook his head and backed out of the room to let the techs do their job.

  “All quiet.”

  “Well, let’s hope our capture will be willing to share some info.”

  Bain surveyed the proceedings and nodded.

  “A lot of scared kids. They’ll break. I spotted some bystanders even.”

  His colleague just nodded and they got to work, anxious to wrap things up. This case had been a headache for many in their department. Many hadn’t wanted to be involved in this shit. Bain had understood. He was undercover because if shit hit the fan, he’ll be disposable. He was quitting anyway. Add that he also got involved in Tyler’s case, everybody seem to be anxious to finish this masquerade. Meaning his quasi-employment on the force.

  He let himself relax when the last car left for the police station and headed for his own.

  Hopefully for his last visit with chief Calghany. After, paperwork. He fished for the phone, finding it under the seat. It rang a couple of times. Tyler wasn’t answering. He tried again but figured out that his airhead teach probably forgot to recharge it or misplaced it somewhere. Wouldn’t be the first time. He speed-dialed seven, calling his backup in operation “look after Tyler”.

  “Yeah?”

  “Sean, it’s Bain Conner. I was trying to reach Tyler, but he’s probably out of juice.”

  “Bain.”

  Bain frowned at the strange tone. Had Sean forgotten who he was?

  “Yeah, you know the guy who’s kinda wooing your brother. Anyway, I wanted to let him know I closed the case and I’ll probably be too busy to come by the house tonight. Maybe even tomorrow. I’ll just try again later.”

  He frowned some more at the phone, disconcerted by Sean’s lack of answer and decided not to bother. Artsy types were strange that way. He’ll keep calling Tyler later.

  He was ready to pass this case to whoever wanted to take the glory. And interrogating and all that. Except for that pack. That, he’ll handle personally. Some s.o.b. had put Tyler in the hospital over that. He kinda wanted to return the favor.

  “Kids insist they know nothing about it. That the pack was just there. We checked for prints and didn’t found any. We can’t do anything. No proof. Let it rest.”

  “The hell I will. Let me five minutes in there. I’ll find out who was it.”

  “Conner. I said let it
rest. Police brutality isn’t the answer. You’re letting your personal feelings affect you. You almost messed the entire case with your little boyfriend.”

  Calghany almost sneered the last at him and Bain had to clench his fists so abstain from ripping the bastard a new one.

  “I didn’t say anything when your personal feelings made a priority of this case. When you refused my resignation and I had to go undercover in the last minute. Who didn’t let it rest then?”

  “You watch your mouth, Conner.”

  “Or what? You’ll fire me? Please do. Oh, wait. I already quitted. Some months ago even. And my little boyfriend could kick your ass one-handed, you pompous bigot. And then teach you how to be polite instead of ignorant.”

  Bain turned to storm out of the office but then thought again and turned to face his ex-boss again.

  “And just so you know, I know from certain sources that my little boyfriend is on first name bases with the Mayor. Why don’t you choke on that, huh?”

  He didn’t stay to enjoy Calghany’s panicked expression, he had better things to do. Like going home to change. Quickly. So he could go to Tyler’s and just enjoy being with the man. Without fearing somebody could see them or he’ll blow the case somehow. He had a man to show off. He suspected nobody had wanted to just take Tyler out and enjoy his company. This fucking case has messed up with both of their heads and he wanted to make it up to Tyler. To show him that he was proud to be seen with him. God, he was grateful even. Tyler was so unaware of the looks he got. Of how wonderful he was. Bain intended to try and prove it to the man. For as long as it took to get his point across. He had time. And he’ll enjoy the task.

  When the doorbell rang I jumped ten feet high at the sound. It was eight o’clock in the morning. Three days after the last visit and Sean’s arrival. I was pretty much sure I was right about the identity of my visitor. Now, I was also pretty much sure I didn’t want to do this now. Not after tossing and turning all night long before giving up on pretending to sleep around four AM. Lack of sleep made me say stupid things. I didn’t want to mess things up more than I was doing it already.

  However, Bain had his finger glued to that damn button. And Sean was still sleeping.

  He actually stepped back when I pulled the door open.

  “I know, I know. You don’t do mornings… Hey, are you alright? You look like haven’t slept at all.”

  “Gee, I wonder why that is.”

  I retracted my steps to the kitchen, followed closely by a hovering Bain.

  “Everything okay? Did something happen?”

  “I don’t know, Bain. Did something happen?”

  Great. I was so subtle at this. All cool and collected.

  “Tyler?”

  “Yes, that’s my name.”

  I threw the towel on the counter and amused myself with inventing new curses when it knocked down the sugar. I was handling this bad. Hell, I wasn’t handling it at all, just releasing my frustration. Sean was right, I had to ask him, not presume. The thing is, I told Sean I was afraid he’ll tell me I was right. But sitting there with his worried gaze burning my back, I had to face the truth. I was maybe more afraid that I was wrong. Bain had hit the mark with the finding excuses thing. This whole mess was my fault. Even when we had discussed the “blondie” incident, I had avoided asking to much. So I could keep making excuses to back away. Now I couldn’t go back and ask things and moving forward was so damn hard to do.

  “Tyler, sit down.”

  Well, shit. I sat in front of him and fiddled with my tea.

  “Something is bothering you. Yeah, very cute, rolling your eyes at me. Brat. Are you mad because I haven’t called you?”

  “I may have dropped my phone in the toilet.”

  I was blushing and I could see from the corner of my eyes he was restraining a snicker.

  Hell, it was funny even for me. Expensive, since I changed like, four phone a year but still… I smiled reluctantly and saw him relax. I’m a moron, I know. Here I am, having a hunk of a guy chasing after me and all I do is panic all the time and try to push him away when he gets serious. In between often moments of embarrassment and the occasional hot sex.

  “Bain, do you sleep around when you are on the job?”

  There , I said it. I reluctantly met his stunned eyes and proceeded in wishing I had a place to hide.

  “Say what? On second hand, please don’t repeat that.”

  I closed my mouth and sipped my tea. If my hands were shaking I’m sure he didn’t notice. He was doing his own shaky thing.

  “What the hell made you ask me that? I thought we were past that fricking incident.”

  “Um, we are. I…”

  I shut my mouth and he continued to wait for an explanation. When the silence continued and I was not coming with anything, he glowered at me.

  “So we are. Then it’s not about you catching me outside your lab? Because, Tyler, I’ll tell you how many times you want. It was an act. Shit, I have witnesses to bring if you want. Some colleagues heard my boss ordering me to fix the situation. I’ll call and…”

  “It’s not about that.”

  My low voice stopped him with the phone in his hand. He continued to search my eyes, unsure and I couldn’t help notice that he looked tired too. His eyes were red and although he had clean clothes, his beard testified a lack of razor for at least 3 days. Probably since the last time we saw each other, at the university. He had been in a hurry then, stopping by my lab for a kiss and to tell me he was close to wrapping things up and that the case was as good as solved. I smiled at the memory. He always did things like that. Stopped by unexpectedly just to say hey, he would bring me lunch when he could ditch his crowd or sneak in justto check on me and steal some kisses. He had probably come here straight from the station or something.

  I was beginning to see I was more than a moron. Moron was a mild word.

  “Then what is this about, Tyler?”

  “Nothing, just forget I said anything. Want a cup of tea? You look like you hardly slept at all since I last saw you.”

  I made a move to get up and he pinned me down with a firm glare.

  “We’re having this conversation. Sit down and start talking.”

  “But, Bain, it was just some…”

  “No buts. You asked some serious shit, Tyler. I need to know what the hell gave you the impression I’m messing around on you. We may have mixed the order of things and jumped too soon in bed, which it’s my fault and I admit it, but I always thought you figured out I was serious about this. About us. I tried slowing down, dating, getting us to know each other better.”

  His face darkened and I could see the tension coiling around him.

  “And you think I’m screwing around?”

  Why, sure. He was mother Teresa, suddenly. I was getting angry too, it’s not like I didn’t have reasons for suspecting him.

  “Your shirt always smells of perfume, you have lipstick stains on the collar. You sometimes have hickeys on your neck and leave at strange hours in the night to work on the case. What the hell was I supposed to think?!”

  “That I was working the case!”

  “Maybe you were working somebody on the case! I didn’t know!”

  “You were supposed to ask!”

  “I’m asking now!”

  We stopped and just stayed there staring at each other, trying to calm our ragged breaths. We weren’t solving shit by yelling and glaring. I took a deep breath and just prayed I wasn’t screwing this up even more. But still, I had to get it all out now that I started.

  “I know your job is dangerous. I figured you are sometimes forced to do things you don’t like for maintaining your cover. Like tonguing someone on my lab’s door. I get it. I truly do. When I noticed lipstick for the first time I turned a blind eye. But then there were the hickeys. Those hurt, Bain. I don’t like imaging you with others. One time seeing that has made that crystal clear for me. I’m possessive. I don’t know if I can stand all the things
your job demands from you. It’s... It’s eating me inside.

  Fuck, I must be doing something wrong. Bain looked ready to pull somebody’s head off. I was guessing mine. I stopped and did a double take. He looked dangerous and I wasn’t even thinking about getting out of his way. I trusted Bain. Well, damn. Nice time to have that epiphany, during a yelling contest.

  “Did you stop for one second to think why the police was interested in a couple of students getting stoned? When they’re so many bigger fishes to fry? It’s because they already had someone in. Me. And one of my bosses had a nephew there that OD-ed. I did this case as a favor. A last favor. As of the day before yesterday, when I made the arrests, I’m officially off the police’s payroll. And even if I was still a cop doing undercover cases, I wouldn’t do that to you. I would tell you out front if some shit like that happened. But more importantly I would make sure it doesn’t. The fact is, I’m not a cop anymore. I’m from now on a full-time student at your university. That wasn’t an act. You never asked and I was under the impression you knew. Fuck. To think you though I was screwing others and then coming to you for dessert… Shit, Tyler. I doubt I could get it up for someone else. I have you to look forward to. Or I thought I had. Fucking hell, I don’t know anymore. What did you thought this was? Some twisted game I played? Getting my rocks off by initiating a virgin?”

  He finished probably the longest speech I heard from him and got up with slow, tired movements. He looked beat up and exhausted. My shaking was starting to spread and it was accompanied by something very similar to panic.

  “I had little to zero sleep in the last two days, tying all the loose ends so I can finish this shit already and put both of our minds to rest. And to hurry up and see you. Then you come up with this crap… Hell, I guess you didn’t spring this just now, you obviously had this on your mind for some time.”

  “Bain, I did ask. It’s just hard for me… I... I didn’t want to upset you. I…”

  He turned and left the kitchen and my insides froze. He never turned his back on me. I scurried to catch him and saw that he was already at the front door.