Good for Me

by Aeryn Jaden

  “Bain!”

  “I gotta go, need to chill. We’ll talk…I’ll call you when I can stand to talk with you without yelling. Just so you know, all that shit you saw? Some chick was all over me, and without me wanting it. Nothing happened. Nothing. Not even a kiss. She’s the sister of one of the suspects.”

  Well, fuck. Hit me when I’m down.

  “Bain, I got it. I was an idiot. You have to understand that all this is new for me…”

  “And that you are still running.”

  His whispered words were more for him that for me to hear, still I heard. And wondered again. He lifted his forehead off the door.

  “Bain…”

  “Not now, Tyler. I’m really really not up to this. I don’t want to say something I’ll regret latter. Which I would. And with the state I’m in…”

  The sun glinted on his raven hair as he hurried to his car. I was blinking, blaming the sharp light for any unwanted moisture in my eyes and sliding down my cheeks. I don’t handle well conflicts, especially when it looks like I’m at fault.

  I watched him climb in his car, sit for a moment before turning the key and without a look back, leave.

  The door closed in front of me, Sean’s hand pushing it closed.

  “Come and sit in the kitchen, Ty. I’ll have breakfast.”

  He pulled me by the arm after him, pushed me on the chair (Bain’s chair, my brain supplied) and quietly slid a glass of milk in front of me.

  “Some food will help. Ty?”

  “I’m not hungry.”

  I missed being impressed by Sean’s stern look and fumbled with my milk. My mind was blissfully empty of all thoughts. Or so I willed it. Before I started crumbling there.

  “Don’t be a moron. You’ll eat. And then you’ll fill in some blanks for me. I may have missed two or three shouts from your civilized discussion. After that, we’ll see what we can do about that man of yours. He sorta has a quick trigger, doesn’t he?”

  I found the presence to glare at his smirk and then at the eggs.

  “He is right. I messed things. Badly.”

  “ ‘Course you did.”

  “Fuck you, Sean.”

  “No thanks, I’m not into that sort of kink.”

  “Oh, get lost.”

  I pretended interest in the food, really not in the mood to handle Sean and his sense of sadistic humor. I kept seeing Bain’s angry face, and remembering the yells. First time he lost his temper that way with me. And I sure provoked Bain plenty of times before today.

  “He’s not a cop anymore.”

  “I heard that part from the bathroom. Great lungs. On both of you.”

  “He’s actually studying for real.”

  “Uh-huh.”

  “He’s in the advanced studies, did I tell you? Doing two years in one.”

  “Busy.”

  “He probably came straight here after finishing things at the station.”

  “Probably.”

  I was eating but not really noticing. The shakes were getting worse and Sean gently unclenched my fist to take the fork away.

  “He looked tired, didn’t he?”

  “Uh-huh.”

  “Probably didn’t have anything to eat.”

  “Probably. Up with you.”

  He directed me to the couch and pulled me down, beside him.

  “My hands are shaking”, I absently noted.

  “He was pretty mad, wasn’t he?”

  “Maybe.”

  He rubbed my back and pulled me closer despite my stubborn resistance. I was hanging by a thread.

  “This is silly. I’m not a girl to cry over some silly fight with my boyfriend.”

  “Shut up and enjoy the break. I’ll start with the remarks in a moment.”

  “Oh, goodie.”

  But I was crying. I tried to keep the sniffling sound subdued and buried my face in his shirt.

  “Two times in three days, must be some record.”

  I hiccupped at the end, ruining my attempt to keep it light.

  “It must be that time of the month.”

  “You said I was on break.”

  “I lied.”

  He made a tissue miraculously appear and held it to my nose for me to blow. I grabbed it with a good glare.

  “Shit, no.”

  “I’m fond of this T-shirt.”

  “Fuck you, Sean.”

  “And I keep telling you I’m not interested.”

  He smirked and I was suddenly too tired to hit him properly so I resigned with whapping one in his general direction. I mumbled something and let the couch lure me to a more comfortable position. I distantly felt a quilt being draped over me and Sean’s mumbling about fixing something later before I surrendered to oblivion. The softest silence descended and I welcomed the lack of thoughts.

  Chapter Eleven

  Bain was having a very shitty day. Worse that ever, the epitome of shitty days. The worse ever. Fuckin’fantastic. Huh, whatever. The point was, he was going stir crazy.

  Oh, he had things to do, was busy enough. Classes to catch up to. The teachers were more than friendly and quick with the helping hand. He had most of the stuff handed to him, with hand written explications on the side. And Matthers glowering in the background.

  Tyler was a no-show this week and he didn’t know if he should be relieved or angry about that.

  He still had some things to think about. The whole fight had taken him by surprise. Now that he had some time to chill and calm down, he was starting to see also from Tyler’s point of view. And hell, even if the guy was twenty-six this was still his first relationship. He could hardly expect him to never screw up. He had previously had some relationships, one which had lasted for a year, but even so, his list of screw ups was way longer than Tyler’s. He had messed things up more than once since he had spotted the hot teach in the cafeteria.

  He would blame it on being tired.

  That was a good plan and all, but it seems he couldn’t track the guy down. And he was being ambushed all-around at every corner. Students, teachers, hell- guards. Word has spread that he had been responsible for the drug bust on campus and now they were looking at him like he was some damn hero. He got a free slice of pizza at the cafeteria. It made him look at it morose and think about Tyler’s face lighting up when he ate. The guy sure had a healthy appetite. Made you wonder where the hell all that food went. Probably restocking his energy supplies for when he was working and he forgot about everything for days. Guy needed a keeper.

  Everyone seemed to want to talk to Bain, everyone except the one he was searching for. Well, to be honest, he had just started searching.

  Calming down had taken most of the week.

  Now he was probably sulking and Annie will soon hit him over the head with something hard and heavy in an attempt to get him to stop. The Menace was sure violent.

  When he saw Maddie carrying a cup with tea to him, precariously balancing it in her small hands, he threw a dirty look at his smirking sister.

  Low blow. Maddie was too cute for him to maintain a decent pout and mope.

  “Brought cookies too! Mamma says you need some sweet with the sour.”

  He darted another glare behind the small angel and hurried to take the cup, which was half-full by now. The road from kitchen to his moping place was long and adventurous.

  “She did, did she?”

  Blue wide eyes glinted with mischief and Maddie nodded energetic.

  “And that she won’t give you beer to drown your sorrows. Makes daddy get ideas.”

  “Hey, I heard that. Why am I being punished for his long face?”

  Dave whined some more and finished with a hopeful look at his wife.

  “Sure, honey.”

  Annie actually went and returned with a beer. Dave was by now cautiously watching his wife, waiting for the catch. And sure thing, Annie was cooking something. And not in the oven. She never, never was that agreeable. And her blue eyes, so similar to her daughter’s, ri
ght now were sparking too bright to bode well for the future of that beer.

  “And tomorrow we can go at the gym so we can add some things on your exercise program.”

  There you go. Wrapped and served.

  “Aw shit, Annie. You’re a cruel woman. That trainer is a nazi.”

  She just hummed and took a heartfelt swing from the beer. Cruel, cruel woman. Dave may have whimpered.

  Bain may have too when her focus switched on him.

  “So, brother mine.”

  “You know, I just remembered I have a paper due...sometime soon. I’ll better…I’m not gonna get out of here soon, am I?

  “Better relax and try to minimize the impact, dude.”

  “Funny husband, probably sleeping on the couch husband. But he’s right.”

  Dave made a zipping his mouth motion and proceeded to tickle Maddie, the huge mixed breed they called dog, joining them for a tumble on the floor. Coward.

  “Now… What the hell did you do?”

  “Are mom and dad still coming for dinner tonight? Because it’s seven already.”

  Annie just got more comfortable in Dave’s place on the couch and turned a steady look on him. The kind of mother look that makes you wanna squirm and spill your guts. She had those down to a pat.

  “They should be here anytime now. And those tactics weren’t working when you were ten and spilled my expensive perfume I got for my sixteen birthday what makes you think they will now?”

  He was starting to squirm. It was humiliating to realize his sister could still make him do that.

  “Annie, give me a break. I’m not gonna discuss my love life with you. It doesn’t concern you.”

  Dave paused for a second and looked admiringly at him before continuing to make goofy noises on his daughter’s stomach..

  “You got guts, man. Big cohones. Beware of the scissors.”

  Funny. But the guy did live with her, and was still alive after ten years of cohabitation in the same premises. He took a quick glace searching for any potential weapons. He missed remembering her fists but had a refreshing course when his arm started to throb.

  “Ow! Kids present. Violence bad. Bad mommy.”

  “Stop goofing around and don’t avoid the subject.”

  “I wasn’t aware there was a subject.”

  “Bain, I swear I’m gonna use my frying pan next.”

  “Okay, okay. I give. Jesus, you need to do something about those violent tendencies of yours…”

  Annie just hummed around the bottle and ignored the jab. Shit, she was really serious about giving him the third degree.

  “Fine. What do you want to know?”

  “All. And yes, I’m talking about your no-show guess to my dinner some weeks ago. And the disappearance of that stupid grin of yours. You were nauseatingly happy until some days ago. I managed to keep out of it but these ups and downs are bad for my dog’s mental health. Spill.”

  “You’re all heart and flowers.”

  He sighed and stole her beer. If she expected him to spill his guts, he needed beer-support.

  “We had a fight last Saturday.”

  “Today’s Friday. That’s almost a week ago.”

  “I know what day is, thank you very much.”

  Dave stopped and threw him a warning look at his hard tone.

  “Come on sweetie, let’s go set the table. Grandpa and Grammy are coming soon.”

  “Cookies!”

  “Um… No. I don’t think mommy would like that.”

  Bain sighed again and pulled some more at his hair.

  “Sorry, Annie.”

  “Forget it. I am annoying, I know that.”

  “You’re not. I’m guessing “worried” is the term. And somewhat annoying.”

  The siblings shared a smile and Bain passed the beer back. They had a 6 year difference between them, but it has never mattered much. Annie had always taken her role of big sister in serious. Her methods haven’t always been quite… orthodox, but she always had his back.

  “He thought I was cheating on him on the job.”

  Like he had expected it her reaction was quick and loyal.

  “Fuck, Bain. That must have hurt. Especially after the shit with Brian.”

  Brian had been his longest relationship, lasting almost one year. And that only because he hadn’t knew about all the inventive methods the guy had to obtain information. A fellow colleague, they have meet on one of his first cases and discovered they had a lot in common. Like a taste for dick and working crazy hours. Watching him “interrogate” a street worker had opened his eyes real quick. He had jumped from him to the undercover gig at the university, as a guard. That had led to the idea that maybe it wasn’t to late to get back to school and get a degree. Being a cop was bad on his stomach. Being in the military wasn’t so bad if you took out the “don’t ask, don’t tell” thing and shooting people for a living thing. He had been an immature brat when he had enlisted straight out of high-school. At least he had some savings now. Which is how he had discovered he liked playing with numbers by playing with his savings account.

  The undercover thing was busted when he had to shoot that kid. He had already made up his mind by then to quit the force and start college. His boss had other plans, thus the following fiasco with trying to juggle some undercover work, school and one seriously hot teach. Dropped some apples there.

  “Why the hell would he think that?”

  He started and returned to the present.

  “Small things, he said. Lipstick on the collar, strange perfume, some hickey I had.”

  “Uh-oh. That’s not small. Did you tell him what happened?”

  Bain fidgeted and wondered how much should he say.

  “Well, no. I didn’t want to upset him and I frankly didn’t notice anything.”

  Annie looked closely to him and grabbed the beer again.

  “Why would he be upset if you weren’t cheating?”

  “I wasn’t! I wouldn’t! Jesus, Annie.”

  “Hold your horses, I know you didn’t cheat. I know you, but he doesn’t. And honey, a hickey is not a small thing. If Dave came home presenting those “small things”, I’d cut his balls off, cook them on a small flame and serve them to him at breakfast.”

  A squeal sounded from the kitchen.

  “Small children in the area!”

  She just smiled sweetly and Bain shuddered.

  “That bad, huh? I guess telling you he actually caught me groping some blonde will further endanger my corporal integrity.”

  “He what? Okay, start talking. From the beginning.”

  He told her about the fiasco and avoided making any eye contact. He knew he was in the wrong but all this has caught him off guard and his first impulse has been to feel insulted and hurt. He reacted first and tended to think after.

  “Let me get this straight: he caught you with a bimbo, you told him it was just for cover, then you start coming to him with “little signs”, he asks you if you are cheating and you storm out in a snit. Did I miss something?”

  “That about sums it all. I’m a real idiot, aren’t I?”

  “You’re way past that stage, buddy.”

  Ouch. Truth really packs a punch.

  “He hasn’t been at the university the last couple of days.”

  “Have you passed by his house?”

  Annie was shrewd. She had latched on the main problem without a break.

  “Well, no. I kinda was angry until recently.”

  “You’re a moron. This guy doesn’t know about your hang-ups with Brian the Imbecile and didn’t try to treat like you were the same. He had legitimate reasons to think and wonder about your job. You’re gonna go by his house- tonight- and apologize and promise all that he wants, in your knees if you have to, so that he’ll take your sorry excuse of an ass back and spare us all of your lamentations.”

  She stopped and Bain hoped shortly that the lecture was finished.

  “Bro, I never saw you so happy as the
se last couple of weeks. Tired with all that bullshit with Calghany, but you were… content. Smiling like a fool. If I didn’t knew better… Shit. I do know better. You’re in love with this guy.”

  He immediately opened his mouth to deny or laugh at her but couldn’t. He wasn’t. No way. Tyler was cute and funny and hot. Really sexy hot. But still. Two months was not enough. He liked spending time with him, waking up with his lithe body cuddled at his side and admired his brain, his ethics, his work. And again, his body. But… Jesus! Was it something he didn’t like about the guy? Even his inexperienced fumbling in their relationship made him endearing and cute in his eyes. Bain was soo soo… very much screwed.

  “Fuck.”

  “And that about sums it all again.”

  Saved by the bell. Doorbell. Annie got up and went to open for their parents leaving him more depressed than before and contemplating bashing his head on a wall or finding a really good excuse- like a brain aneurism- for his idiotic behavior.

  “Bain, get your ass here. Pronto.”

  I wish I could just go on sleeping and let things fix themselves without me.

  Since that was pretty much impossible outside the idea of a self-induced coma (which I would have tried if I knew how), I woke up with a throbbing headache and some Linkin Park blaring in my left ear.

  I have nothing against these guys, but they don’t make a good wake up call.

  “I’m gonna kill you some day, Sean. Slow and painfully.”

  “That’s why I have a nice little key to my bedroom. So you don’t get any ideas.”

  “Fuck you.”

  “Are we having that conversation again? Come on, wakey-wake. The day is wasting.”

  I grunted and buried my head under the pillow. I had succeeded avoiding reality for a week now and I liked it. I’ll give it another week before opening the curtains.

  “Oh no, you won’t. If I knew you buried your head in the sand I would have come home earlier.”

  “You’re welcome to go back to where you came from.”

  Sean smirked and I pulled another pillow to replace the confiscated one.

  “I could interpret that sentence and say I’m too big to return to my origins. Anyway, I finished my last minute commission and I come home and what do I see. My big, responsible bro is playing hooky with his job and drank my entire stash of beer. Beer. I was ready to call the police and notify somebody broke in and raided the fridge.”