I hit the bag three more times in fast succession, then finally I’m done. I breathe deeply for a moment while shaking out my tired muscles. “Is Tammy ready for that?” I wipe the sweat from my face with a towel, then chug a whole bottle of water. The sweat dripping down the back of my neck from my man bun is cold all of a sudden.
“I don’t know,” Ace shrugs. “Red seems to think that Tammy needs to be around her friends. I know she doesn’t know Marley yet, but Elie, Brooke, and Coral will be there as well.”
I’m not sure this is a good idea. After both Elie and Tammy were raped by a prospect of the club a year and a half ago, Tammy has been struggling. The once bubbly barmaid tried so hard to show us all that she was okay, that she could carry on with her life the way Elie seemed to be.
Elie faced her own struggles, and it wasn’t all plain sailing for her. God only knows how she survived not only the rape, but then the loss of her child, and thinking Wrench was dead for weeks. However, Elie allowed those around her to help her. Elie saw a counselor who helped her work through her feelings. Once Wrench was home, he helped the woman he loves, and himself put the past behind them.
Tammy, however, had kept what happened to her a secret for weeks. The guilt she felt for not telling Red, what she witnessed him do to Kyle, the little prick who raped her, played on her mind. Tammy was suffering from PTSD and ended up having a breakdown. It’s taken months for her to recover, and it’s only now that she’s showing signs of becoming the Tammy we all know and love once again. Though she’s not wanted to socialize the way she once did, and I’m not sure she’s ready for a dinner party, even with her close friends.
“Think Marley will come?”
“I don’t see why not, Ace. She spends time with that fuck when he asks.”
Ace raises his eyebrow at me. I lift mine back while I stretch out my back muscles. “She spends time with you, Roman. I know this isn’t how you want things, but the girl is trying. In all honesty, I don’t think she should be spending time with anyone. Marley should be by herself figuring out which one of you she misses the most.”
I roll my neck and relish the pop. I don’t want to talk about this right now. “What time does Red want us there?”
“Seven. Just remember not to sneak up on Tammy.”
“I’m not fuckin’ stupid, Ace!” Red’s my best friend, and he’s explained everything to me many times. Always knock the door loudly. If the door is open, knock and yell who you are so that Tammy doesn’t get startled. Do not sneak up behind her, and always make sure the lights are on as soon as it begins to get dark.
Red has many rules he expects everyone to abide by. If it were for any other reason, I’d tell him to fuck off. However, his rules are there to help his wife, and each one of us would do anything to make her comfortable. Nobody wants Tammy to have a setback. She’s been doing well for a while, but some things remind her of what happened, and it always sets her back a little.
I have every faith that Tammy will get through this, and maybe one day, she’ll be the girl she once was. Though we all know every woman is changed some after a rape. Wrench always says how Elie isn’t one hundred percent the woman she used to be. There are times she still jumps in certain situations.
God only knows how Marley is still going the way she is. I’m not sure many women would be, not after all the things Marley has been through. She wasn’t just raped once; she was raped continually. She was beaten, stabbed, shot, abused in more ways than even I can imagine.
“I’m just saying. Calm down, man. I know this shit with Marley is getting to you, but you seem really angry all of a sudden.”
I sigh and drop down on the weight bench. I scrub my hands over my face. “I fucked up, Ace.”
“Why? What did you do?” Ace sits beside me.
I look at him. “I went over there tonight. I’d already dropped Romany off a couple hours before, but I wanted to check on Marley. We were talking, and I kissed her.”
“Okay?”
“She pushed me away, man. She basically said I was messing with her head.” I rub the back of my neck. I’m starting to feel the ache in my muscle from the intense workout I just gave myself. “I didn’t mean to mess with her head; I just miss her.”
“I know you do.” Ace squeezes my shoulder. “It’ll all work out, Roman. I know it doesn’t seem like it right now, but she will make the right choice.”
I don’t say anything in response. I don’t want to get into this with Ace, he means well, but I know nothing is going to turn out the way I want it to. I know in my heart that I’ve lost Marley to that doctor prick, and I don’t know what the hell to do about it.
Chapter Ten
Marley
Are you sure I look okay?” I push my hands over my blue dress. I tried to dress nicely for this dinner date with Red and Tammy, and some of the others. I don’t know Tammy, and I wanted to make a good impression.
When Roman asked me to come with him tonight, I didn’t hesitate to say yes. The kiss we shared earlier in the week has been forgotten, or at least put to the back of my mind. Now Roman and I are in a good place when it comes to our friendship. That’s all I can give him at the moment, and he doesn’t seem to mind. If he does, he hasn’t expressed such to me.
“You look beautiful, sweetheart.” I smile at Roman. He looks good tonight, even if he is dressed in his usual jeans and biker cut. God knows he smells amazing!
Leona is taking care of Romany for us this evening. I know she’s safe with her grandmother, and that puts my mind at ease. Roman picked me up at 6.45: PM, and we rode her on his bike. I would rather have driven, but Roman insisted. Now, we’re standing outside Red and Tammy’s front door about to go in. From the number of motorcycles and cars outside, I’d say everyone else is already here.
“I’m so nervous, Roman.”
“Why are you nervous? These people are your friends, Marley.”
I nod. “I know. I have no idea why I feel nervous.”
Roman laughs and hugs me to him. “You’ll do fine, beautiful.” He pulls away from me and holds his hand out. “Ready to go in?” I nod my head and smile while taking his hand. Roman knocks the door loudly, then opens it. “Hey, guys! It’s just us!”
“Roman!” Tammy comes around the corner with a smile on her face. She’s beautiful, long hair, long legs, bright smile. Roman explained to me all of what Tammy went through because of the same man who raped Elie. I know Tammy has been struggling with it for the past year and a half, and if I could give her words of comfort, I would. However, I know there are no words that make a woman feel any better about what happened to her. Only the man she loves and who loves her in return can offer such comfort.
“Hey, sweetheart.” Roman kisses her cheek swiftly. “I know you know who Marley is,” He laughs. “But you two haven’t officially been introduced.” Because I was a terrible host at the barbecue, and I didn’t even say hello to the woman. “So, Tammy, this is Marley. Marley, Tammy.”
“It’s so nice to meet you!”
I smile as she hugs me. “It’s nice to meet you, too. Thank you for inviting me.”
“Of course! You’re so welcome here. Please come through. Everyone else is in the other room waiting.”
Roman squeezes my hand and winks at me, and I can’t help smiling at him. We follow Tammy into the dining room. Everyone is seated at a large dining table. It reminds me of being at a restaurant the size of it. Elie waves at me, Wrench winks, Hawk and Brooke, are talking with Ace and Tessa, and Red is deep in conversation with Stryker and Coral.
Roman and I are seated opposite Coral and Stryker, and next to Ace and Tessa. Elie is sitting beside her mother with Wrench to her left. Brooke is next to Tessa with Hawk at the head of the table on the left, and Tammy is seated right beside Red at the head of the table to the right. I watch her for a moment and the way she looks at her husband. Even when he’s not looking at her, she watching him. Tammy’s hand is wrapped around Red’s, and I can see that he’s her
savior. Tammy is so in love with that giant bear of a man, and I can’t help smiling at the two of them.
“Thanks for coming, all of you,” Red says. “We would have invited the others, but there’s too damn many of them.”
Everyone laughs, but I don’t because I have no idea what they’re laughing at. I feel so small in this big room with all these people. Every single one of them is taller than I am, and here I am at a table filled with huge men. Now I know what a child feels like around a table full of adults.
“But seriously,” Red continues. “Right now, you’re our closes friends. We asked you here tonight not just for dinner, but because we have something we’d like to tell you all.”
Tammy looks lovingly up at Red, he smiles down on her, and everyone else looks at each other curiously. “You tell them.” Red nods at Tammy before kissing her softly.
Red then turns to face us all with a smile on his face. “It ain’t no secret that my wife has been through hell the past eighteen months,” I note Tammy shift uncomfortably in her seat. Red wraps his arm around her shoulders and pulls her to him. He kisses her head, and Tammy smiles.
“I love you.” I smile at Tammy. I don’t know this woman, but I like her already. I can tell she has a good heart. What happened to her was unfair, it was wrong, and it should never happen to any woman. Through the man she loves, I can see that; eventually, she’ll be just fine. Tammy will come through everything that happened, and she will be truly happy again.
“I love you, baby.” Red doesn’t let go of his wife as he turns back to face us.
“Something wrong, Red?” Roman asks. I know that Red and Tammy mean a lot to Roman, and hearing the worry in his voice hurts me. Instinctively, I take his hand in mine. Roman wasn’t that because he looks at me for a moment wondering why I’m holding his hand. I smile at him and entwine my fingers with his. He winks at me and squeezes my hand affectionately.
“Nothing at all, brother. Tammy and I have some good news,”
“Wonderful news!” Tammy interjects, making everyone laugh.
Red laughs and kisses Tammy’s head again. “Right. Wonderful news. Tammy and I are expecting another baby.”
The room is suddenly bedlam. Everyone is on their feet, hugging Tammy and Red in turn, and talking a mile a minute. “I’m so happy for you!”
“Thank you. Coral, we’re going to be Mommies together!”
“Don’t forget about me.” I watch Tessa practically bouncing on the balls of her feet. “I might be further along, but I’ll be a Mommy with you guys, too!”
“Hawk and I are done having babies, but I am so excited to meet your little ones!”
I wonder if I’ll ever have another baby, or will Romany be my only one? If she is my only child, then I thank God he gave me just one. Romany was the gift God gave me for the hell I lived through. How can I not thank him for that?
“You need to catch up, Elie.” Elie smiles at her mother, but the fact she gently stroked her stomach is not lost on me. I catch Elie’s eye, and she nods. My best friend is pregnant, and I couldn’t be happier for her.
I turn my attention to the men, who are all talking and congratulating Red. He looks so happy, and so in love. I don’t believe it’s any easier for the man picking up the pieces after a rape then it is the woman. All the emotions your man goes through, the anger, the fear, the pain, and the not knowing what to do to make things better all rush through him at once. I know Red killed the man who raped Tammy, but I doubt it made him feel any better.
The fact Red and Tammy have made a baby, and are looking forward it that child’s arrival, gives them something to move forward for.
“How long have you known?” Hawk asks.
“Couple weeks. We didn’t say anything because Tammy was terrified she’d lose it.”
“Think you’ll get a girl this time?”
“Don’t be stupid, Wrench. It’ll be another boy.” Ace laughs.
“I guess you’ll all find out in six months.” Red knows the sex of his child, I can tell by the smile on his face. However, I’m guessing they’re keeping it a secret.
“Hey,” I startle when Roman touches my hand. I giggle. I was so busy watching everyone else talk, that I hadn’t noticed Roman turn to me. “You seem lost in a world of your own.”
“I was just watching everyone.”
“You should get involved in the conversation.” I smile at him because I don’t know what to say to that. I’m not one for pushing myself into a conversation that I haven’t been invited into.
“Right!” Red yells. “It’s time to eat.”
“Yes,” Tammy claps her hands. “I’ll serve everyone. Red, can you get some drinks please, handsome?”
“Anything for you.”
I look around the table at these people who are my friends, and I realize that I’m not trying hard enough. Roman is right; I need to get involved in conversations when they arise. I need to make more of an effort to show these people that I’m not this person they can’t get close to. It’s been a long time since I had friends, but I am going to try and be the best kind of friend I can be.
I look at Roman and smile. I can do this. I know I can.
Chapter Eleven
Roman
Watching Marley tonight has been nothing but pleasure for me. At first, she was a little awkward. She didn’t get involved with the girls when they were talking. Marley just watched those around her speaking. She was quiet while we all ate the lasagne Tammy had made, however, once dinner was out of the way, there was no shutting Marley up.
I love seeing her smiling and laughing. Marley really needed this tonight; she needed to know that these women are her friends. Regardless of what happens between us, she will always have a family with Snakes Henchmen. As my daughter’s mother, there is nothing the Snakes won’t do for Marley.
Right now, Marley is huddled with the other woman in Red’s den, laughing and having fun. With everything else that’s on her mind right now, she needed this break.
“She seems happier.”
I nod at Stryker. “I think she needed this. Marley keeps herself to herself all the time, and I think she does that for fear of rejection.”
“I get that.”
Wrench hands me a beer. “She said anything about doctor dickhead?”
I shake my head. “I’m trying not to push her. Though I don’t think he’s doing the same.”
“What do you mean?”
“I don’t know, Red. Something she said the other say.”
“What did she say?” Hawk asks while leaning back against the wall.
I shouldn’t be telling my brothers anything about this, but I need to speak to someone about it. No doubt Marley has been confiding in Elie about everything.
“I just got the feeling doctor fuck face is pressuring her to choose him.”
“Than you went and kissed her and made it worse.”
“Fuck you, Ace!” Prick! I push my fingers through my hair. “I know what I did, and I know I shouldn’t have. I also know that I won’t be doing anything like that again unless she asks me to. I hate the thought of that mother fucker pressuring her.”
“We could always go round to his place and break his legs.”
“That’s... Not a good idea, Wrench. As much as I’d like to tear the prick a new asshole, Marley would hate me for it.”
“You’re getting soft in your old age.”
I grit my teeth, fists clenched at my sides. “You’re pushing your luck tonight, Ace. I’m not going soft. I’m trying to respect the woman I love!” I don’t know why I get so tense. Maybe I am soft where Marley is concerned, but I need to treat her with care. The last thing Marley needs is me piling on the pressure as well.
As much as I want to go over to doctor dick faces, and believe me, I so want to; I know that I can’t. I need Marley to feel safe in the knowledge that I trust her to make the right choice. What kind of man would it make me if I took that away from her?
Marley has
been up front with me about everything. She’s not once kept my daughter from me, and she even spends as much time with me as she does that piece of crap. I want her to pick me, and I want it now. However, if I push for that, I’ll lose her for good.
“Calm down,” Red widens his eyes, his head tipped slightly towards Tammy. I follow his eye line and sigh. Tammy is watching us, fear on her face. Though she’s the only one who’s noticed us. “I know you’re annoyed about what’s happening, but Tammy ain’t ready for all this, brother.”
“I’m sorry, Red. You know I’d never...”
“I know,” He clasps my shoulder. “I know you’d never do anything to upset Tammy. None of you would.” Each man nods his head in agreement. “Tammy’s come along way, and this baby has breathed life back into her soul. However, she ain’t quite pushed past certain things that still frighten her.”
I feel like a cunt. I should have known not to lose my temper in front of Tammy. Thank fuck the kids aren’t here to have seen me almost snap. Though I think Tammy would have punched me in the face if they had been, like any good mother bear, upset her cubs, and she’ll cut your balls off.
“She’ll get there.” I look past Wrench and smile at Marley. “Sorry to interrupt. I couldn’t help overhearing.”
“Are you okay?”
Marley nods at me with a smile on her face. “Tammy’s going to be okay, Red. She’s incredibly strong, and one of the nicest women I’ve ever come across.”
“Thank you. That’s nice of you to say.”
“You’re welcome. I hate to be a party pooper, but I was wondering if you’d mind if I go home now, Roman.” Marley twists her fingers together nervously.
“Are you okay, sweetheart?” I touch her arm, and she looks up at me.
“I’ve had a really good time tonight, and I am so grateful for how welcoming everyone has been,”
“But you miss Romany and want to go home to her?” Marley laughs while nodding her head at me. “Come on, beautiful; I’ll take you home.”
Crucify Thy Demons: Snakes Henchmen MC Page 9