Heartbreak's A Bitch!

by S. M Phillips

  “What do you mean? You’re not making any sense Emily.”

  Rachel arrived about fifteen minutes ago and since she got here she’s been trying to find out what’s happened to make me so upset. I tried to tell her, but the words just wouldn’t come and I ended up getting myself that worked up that I could feel a bloody panic attack coming on.

  This isn’t good. None of this is good. “Tyler…” I finally manage to say his name without choking on it.

  “Please tell me he hasn’t decided to just turn up after all this time?” I shake my head, unable to go into it all just now. I’m only just starting to get my breathing back under control and I don’t fancy getting that worked up again. Instead of talking, I somehow find the strength within me to pick his letter up and pass it to her.

  “Is this what was in the package?” Just one look at her face and I can tell that she’s seething. It’s a shame that he isn’t here because I know just from her reaction that she’d do her bloody best to make him regret it.

  “Yes…” I whisper and then pass her the ring. I quickly throw it down on the table as the thought of touching it knocks me sick. To know what could have been had he not been thinking with his knob really tears me apart inside. We could have had everything and so much more.

  Rachel’s unusually quiet while she reads Tyler’s letter, but I just leave her to it. There’s no point in trying to discuss something that you can’t change, is there? Especially something that you have no control over. “It’s all a bit too little, too late , isn’t it? I don’t know what he’s trying to achieve by doing this to you. Does he not know that he’s hurt you enough?”

  “According to his letter, he says he does.”

  “Words Emily, those are meaningless, empty words. You know as well as I do that actions speak a hell of a lot louder and his actions showed that he didn’t give a crap about you anymore.” She says flatly and even though it hurts hearing her say it, I know that she’s right and I’d tell her exactly the same thing if the shoe was on the other foot. “You’ve come on brilliantly since he left. Please do not let this low-life make you go back there all because he finally felt the need to clear his conscience. He is not your problem anymore.”

  “I know. I know it’s stupid that I’m still getting upset by it all, I just didn’t expect him to send something like that.”

  “I know. But, now you have read it and heard what he’s had to say, you can burn this and continue getting on with your life. To start with, you can wipe those beautiful eyes and get changed.”

  “Why?”

  “Because I said so, and I really need a drink or five. Plus, the fresh air will do you the world of good.” She’s right and I know it, but it doesn’t make it any easier knowing that I’m about to face the world right after my heart has been shattered again.

  Before I have a chance to say anything further, my best friend grabs me by the hand and pulls me to my feet “I’m not sure. I’ve got a bad feeling about this.” I murmur, trying to find a way to get out of this.

  “Oh, give over, do you seriously think that there could be anything worse than the crap you’ve had to go through today? No, I didn’t think so.”

  Finally, after what feels like an age, I look a little bit presentable. I think? I’ve not got the energy to get all done up so instead I decided on my favourite pair of jeggings, a nice floaty blue top and some flats. Well, It’s not like I’m going on a mad night out, just the pub down the road and there’s nobody that I need to impress in there. That is, unless I change my mind, get absolutely reckless and cop off with one of the old guys. Yes, they’re lovely to talk to, but saggy balls and erectile disfunction don’t do anything to get my juices flowing.

  “We’re going to have a good night and pretend that today didn’t happen. We’ll cover everything that we need to tomorrow, okay?”

  “Uh-huh.” I say positively and I don’t even convince myself. I’d love to be able to switch off, but my emotions are completely all over the show. I wonder if this is what it feels like when you go through the menopause. Maybe some HRT could help me out a little bit.

  It doesn’t surprise me to find our local haunt empty. It’s a week night and most people prefer to drink in these days. All those weirdo’s all loved up, it makes me feel sick. I know I’m bitter and deep down I’m only jealous, but still. On a plus note, I guess it means we can have a few drinks in peace and I don’t need to worry about embarrassing myself if I end up having a nervous breakdown.

  “What you having, your usual?” I ask Rachel as she hops into a booth, a nice quiet one secluded away from prying eyes, but we still have a good view of everything and everyone around us. This is our spot. Every time we come here, it’s always empty, as if it’s reserved for us on a permanent basis.

  “Yes, but make it two.”

  “How about four.” Tonight, I plan on taking Rachel’s advice and forgetting about everything by getting that shit faced, everything becomes a distant memory.

  “Evening my love.” Jade, the landlady welcomes me as I approach the bar. “I’ve not seen you in here on a school night for a while. Everything okay?”

  “It will be.” I plaster on my fake smile and she nods at me sympathetically. Clearly my make-up hasn’t covered up my feelings as much as I’d hoped, or my puffy eyes. “You should probably get used to us holing ourselves up this place for a little while.”

  “That bad? Well, it’s good business for me and you know that you and Rachel are welcome here anytime.”

  “Thanks, I appreciate it. In that case, I’ll have two bottles of house white.” This is just the start and I’ve already had one bottle back at home. Tonight could get messy, but do I care? Do I buggeries. A stonking hangover will be the distraction that I need to take my mind of my crappy life tomorrow.

  “So, how did things go with Doug?”

  “Are you sure you want to talk about men right now?” Rachel eyes me cautiously and a real, genuine smile breaks free over my face. Oh, it feels weird, a little uncomfortable. My face must have been miserable for a lot longer than I originally thought.

  “I don’t mind talking about your man. Fuck the rest, but yours is still on my good list so he’s okay. Well, depending on what you tell me anyway.” I pick up my glass and sip a little as I wait for her to give me some good news at last. If it’s not good news, then there’s no hope for any of us ever again.

  “It went… okay.”

  “Okay? Bloody hell Rach, you either sorted it out or you both decided to go your separate ways.” I say bluntly. Harsh? Yes, but you have to be with Rachel sometimes, otherwise she’ll be here all night going around the bloody houses and never once getting to the point. Plus, she doesn’t think twice when she’s being harsh to me.

  “I think we’re going to make it work.”

  “You are? That’s great news. Now are you glad I made you take the plunge, or are you glad I made you take the plunge?”

  “All right, yes, thank you.” I love how I can give perfect advice to everyone around me, but I’m yet to master listening to any of my own. “I finally found the courage to tell him how I felt and what do you know, to my relief he said he felt the same. I’m super happy.”

  “What the hell did you ring me for then? You should have stayed with him you daft mare.”

  “Don’t be daft, he’s at mine anyway. I just had this urge to call you and I’m bloody glad I did. Anyway, don’t you worry about him, he’s got enough to keep him occupied while I’m away. You will always come first and if ever there comes a time where he doesn’t understand that, then I’m afraid he’s a goner. Love or not.”

  “Thank you. I really don’t know what I’d do without you.”

  “I know. That’s why I’m giving you the day off tomorrow to adjust to your new life.”

  “Excuse me, you’re what?” I ask her, full of confusion. She’s giving me the day off? From what?

  “Do you really think that I’m just going to sit back and watch you suffer? That�
��s not what friends do Emily. No, you’ll be working for me until you don’t need to anymore. Plus, it’ll be fun.” She smiles and my eyes grow wide in shock.

  Fun? She calls that fun? “You really don’t have to…” Please God, make her change her mind. There’s no way that I can possibly work with her. I love coffee and I love Rachel, but combining the two solidly for eight hours or more on a daily basis could be pretty challenging.

  “Don’t look like that. I’ll give you your space and you can work whatever hours you need. I just won’t see you without a job and I most definitely will not just sit back and allow you to sign onto the dole when you don’t need to.”

  “You promise that you won’t boss me around? I don’t think I’d be able to cope if you became power hungry.”

  “Piss off. What do you take me for? I promise, it won’t even feel like you’re working.”

  “Okay, well thank you. I’m telling you though, if you start bossing me around then I’ll be walking right down to the job centre and I’ll make you come with me, understand?” I warn and I know that she’d absolutely hate the idea of me doing that.

  “Loud and clear, treacle. Loud and clear.” A huge mega-watt grin lights up her whole face and another smile escapes me.

  “Get to bed. You have got to be kidding me.” Rachel slurs as she looks over my head, towards the bar. My head turns to look behind me and my eyes follow her line of sight. Are you kidding me? This is my local. What the hell does she think she’s doing here?

  Cruella. Cruella de bitch walking into my local. You honestly couldn’t make this shit up.

  As if her evil powers sense me, she turns her head towards me, her long mane of shabby extensions whipping down her back and she gives me a sly smile. One that says ‘oh, I’ve been waiting to see you.’

  “Is she coming over here?” Rachel hisses. “She bloody is as well, isn’t she?”

  Sure enough I look back at her and she’s walking right towards our booth, drink in one hand and designer clutch in the other. She doesn’t fit in here and boy does she stick out like a sore thumb.

  “Emily…” She says, like butter wouldn’t melt. “Well, this is the last place that I ever imagined bumping into you.”

  “You and me both. I would have thought that this little shin-dig would have been too much of a lower class for someone like you?” Rachel coughs to my side and almost spits her drink. I wish she would have, because it would have gone all over Cruella’s lovely designer dress that no doubt cost more than my monthly wage. Well, my old monthly wage, anyway.

  “It would be usually.” She replies, still looking smug and not afraid to hold back. “But I’m meeting someone here, so what can you do?”

  “Jump off the nearest fucking cliff?” My devil’s back and for once he’s picked a perfect time to come out and play.

  “Sometimes you just have to come right down to their level and see what they’re comfortable with. What’s the word for it, compromise?”

  “Something like that.”

  “I bet you’re gutted, aren’t you?” She continues, feigning deep concern, but I can see right through her. “I spoke to Daddy earlier and he told me everything that had happened. I have to tell you that he’s pretty cut up about it all. Out of every single one of his employees, he always thought that it was you that he could always rely on and trust.”

  Why does she seem to think that this concerns her? It’s got nothing to do with her, nothing at all. “That never changed. Someone set all of this up, I’m certain of it.” I watch to see if her reaction changes, but I wouldn’t be able to tell through all of that Botox that she has shoved in her face, courtesy of the bank of Daddy.

  “I guess it’s a mighty shame that it’s a little too late to find out then, isn’t it?” She draws her hair back from her face and her smug grin is still there, fixed firmly in place. “On a plus note though, I’m quite sure you’ll fit right in at the job centre. Unfortunately for you, you probably won’t get a decent job again. After all, what was it you were done for, sexual harassment and fraud? Scum like you belong on the dole.”

  “What did you just say?” That stupid little bitch.

  I don’t know why we both hate each other so much, but I do know that I wouldn’t even piss on her if she was on fire. No, the hidden sadistic bitch buried within me would happily sit back and watch .I’m pretty certain that the feeling is mutual, too.

  “Just look at yourself. You’re nothing but a dirty little slapper. Always trying to work yourself around the office…”

  I’m out of my seat before Rachel has a chance to pull me back down and my hand gives her a very loud and hard high five to the face. As the bar is still quite empty, give or take a few locals, the sound echoes out all around us and I can feel a number of heated stares burning into me. For once though, I really couldn’t give too hoots. This evil bitch has had that coming for a long time.

  After a couple of seconds, the drama queen in her comes out in full force. Cruella lifts her hand and protectively holds her face as she turns on the spot, circling the bar and playing the victim. “Did you see that?” She shouts? “Did you see how this crazy loon just attacked me for no reason. Someone call the police. Don’t just sit there.” She turns to me and the says, “I always knew you were a messed up cow.”

  “You have got to be joking?” I look back towards Rachel and all she can do is stare back at me disbelievingly. “The police?” I say, now focusing my attention back on Cruella. “You’ll need more than the bloody police by the time I’m finished with you.”

  She turns on her heels slightly, so that only me and Rachel can see her. “I don’t really think that would be a wise move, do you? You’ve already got fraud and sexual harassment on record, I don’t think you need anything else. God, I’m so glad that I finally made Daddy see you for who you really are.”

  Then it clicks. Every last little piece of the puzzle slowly falls into place and connects seamlessly. “It was you? All this was you?” I launch for her again, wanting nothing more than to rip those cheap, tacky extensions from her bloody stupid and deluded head.

  “Uh-huh.” She grins back at me, not a single ounce of remorse running through her body. Actually, she looks super pleased with herself. “Come on Emily. Did you really think that I’d just sit back and listen to Daddy singing your praises all the time? Emily this… Emily that… I’m his daughter, not you. That business is rightfully mine and if I hadn’t have stepped in when I did, he would have given it all to you. That’s something that I wasn’t going to allow to happen. Ever.”

  “You evil, vindictive little bitch.”

  “It was about time someone took you out of the equation. Just watching you throw yourself at Matt was sickening.” Matt? What the hell does Matt have to do with any of this? “You know he doesn’t even like you. He can’t stand the sight of you at the best of times.”

  Wow. Just… wow.

  Out of all of these revelations that are now coming to light, that’s the one that hurts me the most. Matt. Who is she to make comments on Matt’s behalf? She doesn’t even know him. At least not like I do. I feel Rachel’s hand on my arm as she tries to coax me back down into the booth, but I refuse to back down. I will stand my ground here. There’s no way that I’m going to let a creature like her ruin my life any more than she already has. “Emily, she’s not worth it. Look at her, she’s desperate to get some kind of reaction out of you just so she can say ‘I told you so,’ to Daddy dearest.” Rachel whispers.

  “I’m out of a job. My career’s ruined all because you’ve got some messed up Daddy issues?”

  “Pretty much.” She shrugs at me with no emotion in her body at all, apart from the wicked, evil smile. There’s so much that I want to scream at her, and I’m about to get right to it, but my heart stops when I see a familiar figure walk towards us.

  “There you are…” He says without paying much attention to his surroundings. “I’ll grab a couple of drinks. What are you having?”

 
You have got to be having a bloody laugh. I can’t move and I’m finding it harder and harder to breathe with each slow moment that passes. I want to look away, but I’m stood frozen to the spot as I’m forced to watch this sick and twisted scene play out right in front of me. Cruella knows how much this is affecting me. I can see it written in her eyes. She gives me one last smug smile, before turning around slowly to greet her guest.

  She wastes no time by placing her twisted, dirty little hands on those beautiful, manly biceps before leaning up on her toes to grace him with an all too familiar peck on the cheek.

  Little bitch. If I wanted to tie her up and torture her before, then it’s got shit all on what I want to do to her right now.

  Cruella makes sure that she pulls away from him as slowly as possible, ensuring that I get a whole view of the scene before me, and that’s when he sees me… really sees me. His body stiffens instantly and his eye grow wide in shock. “Emily?”

  “Fuck you, Matt.” I snap and without thinking about anything else, I quickly turn around and make a dash for it, heading straight out of the bar and I don’t even think about waiting for Rachel. I can’t bring myself to turn around to see if she’s following me, as I can’t bring myself to look at him anymore.

  The hurt that’s rippling through my body is indescribable. What’s going on? Why am I allowing him to get to me like this?

  Any minute now I’ll wake up from this ridiculous nightmare that I’ve found myself in. I’ve got no idea what it is that I’ve done so bad to have all this shit hurled at me from different angles. No matter where I go, or what I do, it just doesn’t seem to let up and something new keeps cropping up and slapping me in the face.

  Ugh, I feel physically sick at the thought of Cruella and Matt together. It’s just wrong on so many levels. I mean you wouldn’t put beans and ice-cream together, it would be vile and that’s exactly what the two of them are when they’re together. Bloody vile.