The Way Down
Page 4
One day at a time, she thought, we’ll all make it through this, one day at a time.
Chapter 4
The first week of school went remarkably well. Abbey ran into a few of the mothers on Wednesday and turned down an invitation to coffee. She just couldn’t stomach the thought of chit chatting, making small talk and having to explain the awkward situation she found herself in. She never imagined she’d be so ashamed of being a single mother, but she felt like she had failed the kids somehow.
On Friday she picked the kids up and was asked to meet with Zach’s teacher, Mrs. Barden.
“Why don’t you and Sophie go play on the swings?” she suggested and they happily ran outside.
“Please, have a seat,” Mrs. Barden told her. Abbey looked around but only say tiny children sized chairs. She folded herself into one and felt ridiculous, staring up at the teacher’s desk. It was a very uncomfortable position to be in.
“Is there something wrong?” she asked the teacher, nervous about being called in.
“Not necessarily, I like to meet with all the parents, especially of my new students,” Mrs. Barden replied.
“How’s Zach doing?”
“He’s doing great overall, but there have been a couple incidents.”
“What do you mean?”
“He has trouble keeping calm at times, have you noticed this at home?”
“He does have a temper, yes,” Abbey admitted. She felt ashamed again that she hadn’t noticed it sooner, hadn’t left Tom before his poison leached into her little boy.
“He has gotten into two fights this week, and we do understand that it is a difficult time transitioning into the classroom, he does need to learn to control himself.”
“Oh, totally. I understand. I will talk to him.”
“Can you have his father do it perhaps? He seems to respond to male authority.”
“Oh,” Abbey stuttered, “his father isn’t with us. We left. I mean, I left him.”
Mrs. Barden nodded as if she knew what Abbey meant, as if she caught on that the father was a violent prick, and the apple didn’t fall far from the tree. Abbey felt a flare of defensiveness for her little boy.
“He’s not a bad kid though,” she stated, “he’s having a rough time right now, but overall he’s really kind and sweet. I’ll have my father talk to him.”
“I see that, he does have his sweet moments,” the teacher agreed, “I wouldn’t worry about it too much. There’s been a lot of change in his life and it will take some adjustment.”
Abbey stood up and said, “Thank you for letting me know, I will do my best with him.”
“That’s all we ask for,” Mrs. Barden replied and smiled. “It’s been great meeting you, and please contact me any time you have questions or concerns.”
Abbey fled the classroom, her cheeks hot and red. She wanted to cry but couldn’t in front of the kids. She decided to take them into town for a treat instead, maybe out to the Co-op for one of their famous milkshakes. They have that machine the kids have gotten addicted to.
“Hey guys, time to go,” Abbey called to them across the playground. She breathed a sigh of relief when they both jumped off the swings and ran towards her. Any day she didn’t have to wrestle with the kids was a good day.
They climbed into the truck and she started to drive towards town.
“Where are we going?” Zach asked suspiciously.
“We’re going to the Co-op,” Abby grinned and braced herself for the reaction.
“Milkshakes!” Sophie screamed and Zach joined in. They chanted, “Milkshakes” again and again until Abbey was laughing and being driven crazy at the same time.
Such was life with kids. Each moment threatened your sanity and uplifted you higher than you ever imagined you could go.
She pulled into the big parking lot in front of the store and chuckled to herself at how well the old truck fit in. She felt like she was in stealth mode, intercepting the farming community without their knowledge.
She led the kids to the milkshake machine, got it set up and turned to browse the aisles, looking at the odds and ends and wondering if she’d ever have enough money for something as frivolous as a bejeweled brow band for a horse’s bridle.
She was checking out the advances in horse shampoo since she’d last owned one, when she stopped and tilted her head.
She thought she heard David’s voice.
She set the Mane and Tail down on the shelf and edged herself to the end of the aisle so she could get a clear view of the counter.
And there he was, flirting and being utterly deliciously gorgeous with the girls working behind the register.
“And we’ll need two more bags of that cow-calf mineral,” he told the red head with a low, lazy voice.
“Oh, don’t want to forget the minerals,” the girls said, making it sound suggestive.
Abbey narrowed her eyes and watched him with them, paying for the merchandise he bought and being a little too calm and collected with the workers for Abbey’s liking.
She hated the narrow pinch of jealousy that was gripping her insides, so she decided to go into full stealth mode and creep back down the aisle to avoid him all together.
She heard him say the name Marta and laugh, and her rage threatened to overflow so she closed her eyes, took a couple deep calming breaths and exhaled. She stayed like that for a moment or two until her jealousy was squashed deep down and she could handle herself in public.
“You having a nap back here?” David’s voice pierced her little shell of focus.
Her eyes snapped open and Abbey said, “Oh, David. I didn’t know you were here.”
“Sure you didn’t,” he smiled, that smug knowing grin of his that infuriated her and made her laugh. “We’re here picking up a few things for Marta. We made it through the worst of the branding and sorting so I’m gonna drive her home and come back to town in a couple hours.”
“Oh Marta, I forgot that’s where you were,” Abbey replied coolly. “Are you picking up something down this aisle?”
“No, Zach told me where you were,” he chuckled. “Listen Abbey, you don’t need to run away in public, you know. I don’t mind being seen with you.”
Abbey squirmed and looked past him. “It’s not that, I just don’t want to get in the way of you…you know, any relationships or anything you might have.”
He laughed then, his smile wide and his eyes full of amusement. “You don’t have to worry about that,” he said. “There’s nothing going on around here that you can’t see. It’s not like I come to the Co-op to pick up girls.”
“Where’s Marta?” Abbey asked, looked up at him, daring herself to look into his gorgeous violet eyes and challenged him to an answer.
“She’s in the truck,” he replied, confusion flickering across his features, and then sudden realization lighting him up as if from within. “You need to come meet her. She will love you.”
“I don’t, I mean, is that a good idea?” Abbey asked.
“It’s a perfect idea,” David replied. “Let’s get the kids rounded up and I’ll walk you out. We might be parked near each other.”
“I didn’t see your truck,” Abbey replied and followed him to the front where Sophie and Zach were standing with their shakes.
“I’ll get these too,” David told the girl behind the counter. “And I’m driving Marta’s truck, she feels it’s only fair to use her fuel.”
Abbey wandered over to the bulletin board announcing tractors for sale, farmers markets, fresh farm produce and livestock.
And a job. Abbey read the notice, they were looking for another front desk person here at the Co-op. She took a copy of the listing and folded it up to put it in her pocket.
She hadn’t even realized she’d been secretive about it until after she turned around and caught the red head staring at her. She was so used to hiding everything from Tom that it was second nature to sneak around.
The girl glared at Abbey and rang up David’s pur
chases. He paid, got his receipt so he could pick up his order at the loading doors, and the four of them walked outside.
“Thanks for the milkshake,” Zach said to David, “you’re the best. And I have to tell you all about my week! This is the most awesome school ever!”
David smiled over Zach’s head at Abbey. She nodded and they shared a moment, her fear that Zach wouldn’t find friends was gone now that he’d made it a week. She could relax on that front at least.
“And how did you like it, Miss Soph?” David asked Sophie.
“It was amazing,” Sophie replied with an excited grin. “You need to come to my sports day next week. I can run so fast!”
“I will for sure,” David told her and smiled at Abbey. She couldn’t quite figure out why he was so smug, but he was laughing about something. Tom’s voice whispered in the back of her mind that he was laughing at her, but for the first time she didn’t quite believe it. She could almost feel it pouting in the background at her refusal to listen.
“Marta,” David called as the approached a bright red Dodge Ram. It was older but in immaculate condition. “I want you to meet some friends.”
The passenger window rolled down completely and Abbey almost started laughing in relief. Marta was a beautiful woman with silken hair and bright blue eyes. And she had to be at least seventy years old.
“This must be Abbey,” Marta said and looked down at the kids. “And this is Zach and Sophie. David has been talking about you nonstop. Thank you for lending him to me during branding season.”
“Oh I didn’t lend him,” Abbey replied and tucked her relief away. She shouldn’t have ever let herself get that jealous in the first place. She needed to keep David at arm’s length, she couldn’t risk him expecting anything from her. Marta gave her a knowing smile and let Abbey’s comment slip.
They chatted for a few moments, and Marta insisted David walk Abbey and the kids back to their truck.
They got the kids settled and he walked around to her side, his killer smile dazzling her. “I’m coming over when I get back into town,” he said and stood close to her, looking down. Too close. She could smell him again and god, he smelled so good. “I missed you, Abbey. Let’s go to a movie or something tonight.”
“We’ll see,” she said brightly, her smile strained as she fought the urges welling up inside. The forefront of them was the urge to kiss David. To feel his lips on hers and taste his mouth against her lips. “Well, I need to get home and start dinner. And maybe write up my resume.”
“You’re looking for work?” he asked, not moving away.
“Maybe here, they’re hiring,” she replied, nodding towards the Co-op “I could work while the kids are in school. It will be good for me to keep busy and earn a little money.”
He glanced at the store, frowned and said, “I don’t think they pay that well. And the owner is real grabby. I don’t think it would be a good place for you.”
Abbey railed against that, her back stiffened and she glared up at David. “Well I don’t think that’s really your call, is it? Now excuse me, I need to go.”
She reached out and yanked the door shut as he stepped back. She drove away and couldn’t help but take a look in the rear-view mirror and felt a flare of satisfaction that he was watching her truck as she pulled away.
Chapter 5
True to his word, David pulled down the driveway a little before dinner. Abbey couldn’t help herself, she smiled knowing he was coming to see her.
She smoothed her hair flat, her tangled dark curls were always hard to tame, and pulled her lower lip through her teeth a couple times to moisten and redden it.
She was being foolish, she knew it, but she was too giddy to care much just then.
“Anybody home?” David called from the front door.
“David!” the kids yelled and came tumbling down the stairs from their rooms where they’d been doing some reading before dinner. He heard them talking to them a little before they went back up.
“I’m in here,” she said, opening the oven to pull the roast chicken out. It looked perfect and smelled amazing. She couldn’t believe she’d gone so long with Tom not enjoying the food she’d prepared. Everything was so different now and she couldn’t wait to tuck into this meal.
She heard his footsteps in the doorway and turned, smiling at him with her chicken in hand. She felt weirdly proud of it for some reason.
“Looks incredible,” he said with a lazy grin, “am I invited?”
“Of course, I just need to cut it up.”
“I can do that if you want to get the rest of the dinner together.”
She set the roasting pan on the countertop and said, “Perfect.”
He made quick work of the bird and she hummed to herself as she mashed the potatoes and drained the green beans. She’d even made fresh buns, she was on fire tonight and tried to convince herself she wasn’t showcasing her talents in the kitchen for David’s sake.
Not that she had to make herself any more appealing to him, she saw the way he watched her as she walked across the room or set the table.
She’d seen her dad look at her mom like that, back when they’d been young and in love, and it brought blush to her cheeks just thinking about it.
David carried a plate of sliced chicken to the table and turned to watch her tidy up the countertop.
“You are incredible, did you know that?” he mused as she swept crumbs into the kitchen sink.
“Incredibly boring,” she laughed.
He crossed the floor in two long strides and cupped her face in his big, rough, gentle hands. “Don’t say that,” he insisted, his eyes locking onto hers. “You’re far from it, Abbey, you’ve just forgotten that over the years.
Inside, she was screaming at him to kiss her, to take here there right in the kitchen. Her body ached for him and she yearned for his touch. She couldn’t though, she cleared her throat and simply said, “It’s okay, David. You don’t have to stand up for me anymore, I’m not with Tom now.”
“I have to stand up to you against yourself,” he said, his voice thick with emotion. “Sometimes you seem like your own worst enemy.”
He finally did it then, bent low and caught her lips with his mouth. It was just a skiff, a brief moment of contact between the two of them, but it didn’t last.
They heard her Dad come in from the fields, his presence announced by his clomping boot steps in the front door.
“Smells good,” he called out as David’s mouth parted slightly and his teeth caught her lower lip between them, like she’d done just moments before. “Is David here? I saw his truck outside.”
As her Dad paused to take his cowboy boots off for the evening, David exhaled, a pained groan vibrating on his hot breath.
He released her lip, kissed her chastely, and stepped back, pulling his hands away.
His eyes never left hers as he said, “In here, Pete. I was just helping Abbey with the bird.”
Abbey couldn’t speak, she couldn’t betray herself. She felt as though all the passion and love and need she’d had for David all those years ago was just brewing under the surface, waiting to burst out.
But here was not the time nor the place, and Abbey drew a quivering breath and turned her attention back to the table.
The kids were called down, David and her Dad took their spots, and the five of them enjoyed dinner together.
But Abbey couldn’t forget that almost kiss. The way David’s lips had felt on hers, his tentative touch that swelled to force when he’d bitten her.
She almost found herself lifting her finger to her lips to trace where he’d been just a short time before.
After dinner they played a round of Monopoly and didn’t seem to notice when Zach kicked everybody’s asses. Abbey suspected her Dad let him win, and she and David were just too distracted to care about the game. Sophie was too little.
Zach graciously shared victory with his sister though, and that made Abbey smile. Maybe things were all goi
ng to be okay after all.
She couldn’t stop glancing at David though, and he couldn’t stop looking at her. She felt his fingers catch hers under the table a couple times too, the heat of their bodies brief contact sending electric sparks up her arm.
David helped her tuck the kids into bed, read Zach a story while she read to Sophie, and almost hypnotized her at how familiar and wonderful it all felt.
To have a man like David stepping up and helping care for her children was intoxicating, addictive, enticing.
It was also dangerous, and that snaking voice in the back of her head kept telling her she was being foolish, she didn’t even know him, he shouldn’t be getting so close to her and the kids, he was going to break their hearts.
And hers.
When they went downstairs he looked at his watch and sighed. Reluctantly he said, “I have to go. I’m on shift in an hour.”
“Serving and protecting,” Abbey smiled, thinking of him in his uniform. She’d never had a thing for guys like that, but David had changed everything.
“Walk me out to the truck?” he asked, reaching for her hand.
“Dad, I’m going out to see David off,” she called to her Dad in the living room. She heard him grunt in response, slipped on her shoes and followed David outside.
They stood there awkwardly, holding hands and staring at each other in the glow of the porch light.
“So back there,” David said, “I’m sorry. I don’t know what came over me, I’ve been trying to hard to give you space.”
Abbey’s heart dropped and her fears felt like they were waking and coming to life. “What do you mean?”
“The kiss,” David said and exhaled slowly. “You don’t need me pressuring you right now, I can see that. You still flinch when I touch you, you’re still healing after that that…what that fucking bastard did to you.”
“Don’t apologize for it,” Abbey said and squeezed his hands. “I’m just…fuck, I’m a mess.”