A Dish of Stones

by Valentina Hepburn

  “I’ve never seen you like that before. I can’t believe you actually punched him.”

  “He deserved it. I’m just glad he didn’t try to hit me back.”

  “I don’t think he would’ve got away with it. Everyone seemed to be on your side.”

  Kate took over the pushing of the pram, smiling at Christina. “She’s lovely isn’t she?”

  “Yeah,” Emma said, tickling Christina under the chin. “And she can feel totally safe knowing she has an aunty who has a punch as big as Muhammad Ali.”

  ***

  “She punched him right on the nose,” Ivy cried. “I couldn’t believe it.” Ray scratched his head, trying to take in what Ivy was telling him. “I suppose she must’ve had her reasons, but you're right. It don't sound like Kate, does it? What was he like anyway, this bloke she punched”'

  “Beautifully dressed. Silk shirt I reckon. Even his jeans had a crease in them. I just don’t know. Whatever’s going to happen next?”

  The front door slammed. “There’s Jack now,” Ray said. “You can ask him.”

  “Ask me what?” Jack asked as he joined them in the kitchen. “What’s for dinner, Mum?”

  “It’s liver and bacon dumpling.”

  “Aw, I love liver and bacon dumpling. We used to get it in the mess but it never tasted like yours. You make the best dumplings in the world. What did you want to ask me anyway, Mum?”

  “Go and sit yourself in the living-room, Jack. Your dad’ll tell you what happened. I’ll bring your dinner in there. You can have it on a tray tonight.”

  Ray told Jack what he knew. Jack asked questions between mouthfuls of dumpling and Ivy settled herself in her favourite chair with her knitting.

  “I don’t know, Mum,” he said when Ray and Ivy had finished telling him about Kate and Emma. “I don’t recognise him from what you've said. If he was dressed like that he doesn’t come from around here, does he? Me and dad are the best dressed geezers around these parts, aren’t we, Dad? Anything for afters? I’m still starving.” Ivy got up and ruffled the top of his head. “I don’t know where you put it, lad... and there isn’t an ounce of fat on you. I wish I could eat like that.”

  “I’m a growing lad,” he said grinning. “And I use up a lot of energy running away from all the girls at the factory.” Ray laughed. “You cocky sod. You must take after your old man.”

  “I don’t think so, Ray Daly,” laughed Ivy. “It was you chasing them and you must’ve done a lot of running. There’s more fat on a chip than there is on you.” Ray pulled a face at her from behind his paper. “I think you should have a word with Jack about the other thing?” Jack looked amazed. “What other thing? Flippin’ ‘eck, I’ll think twice before I come home in future. It’s like Mystery and Imagination in this house sometimes. What's going on now?”

  “Oh, for goodness sake, Ray,” scolded Ivy. “You shouldn’t have said anything. I don’t know if she’s ready for it yet.” Jack looked from one to the other. “What other thing? Ready for what? Will somebody please tell me what the hell you’re on about?”

  “Hang on Jack. Let me get your afters then I’ll tell you. You should be the one to decide whether we should tell Kate or not since you’re a couple.”

  Jack waited impatiently for her return. “Come on then. I’m all ears.”

  “After I’ve told you about this, Jack, I’m going to leave it up to you as to whether you tell Kate.”

  “OK, Mum. Whatever you say.”

  “You know how Joe left them – the two girls and their mum. He disappeared without saying a word, you already know that, but there’d been trouble between them for a long time. When Kate was born... she doesn’t know this mind so when you do come to telling her you’ll have to be very careful how you put it. Well, she wasn't their first-born. She had an older brother. They called him Michael.”

  Jack’s eyes widened. He’d lived in the street for most of his life and this was news to him. His thoughts went to Kate and the photograph she’d shown him after Angie’s funeral, the one she’d hoped was of her.

  “Michael was a sickly child. He had all sorts of things wrong with him, poor little mite, and they were always running back-and-forth to the doctors with him. Day after day for four months he kept them on their toes. Then one morning they found him dead in his cot.” Jack closed his eyes. All he could think about was Kate and how much sadness she’d had in her life.

  “Well,” Ivy continued, her lip quivering at the memory of it. “Joe took it hard; they both did, but she managed to get over her grief whilst he was drowning in his. He was in a sorry state, like a man who’d lost everything and there was no getting through to him. Your dad and me tried, didn’t we, Ray?” Ray nodded.

  “But it didn’t make no difference. Then he began to stay out at night, y’know, getting drunk and paying her no attention. She’d always been a bit flighty had Angie, but she loved him all right. He’d had other women. Your dad caught him with a woman once but we just kept our mouths shut. We didn’t want to hurt them kiddies.”

  “So what happened then? I mean, they had Kate and Emma so there must've been something there,” Jack said frowning.

  “But it didn’t last. They called the truce long enough for her to get pregnant with Kate and then very quickly afterwards with Emma. Then he was off again. After Emma was born Angie began to see other men. She used to hang about the working men’s club in King Henry’s Square. Everyone was talking about it... her in her skimpy clothes that left nothing to the imagination. We used to baby-sit them girls and the state she used to come home in you wouldn’t believe.

  “Then your dad and me, well we noticed that she used to take everything out on Kate. If she was in a bad mood, Kate would get it in the neck, just her, not the other one. Ray said something to her about it once and d’you know what she said?” Jack shook his head, mesmerised by the story Ivy was telling him.

  “She said ‘that kid’s my bad luck charm. Everything was fine until she came along. If she'd been a boy it would have been OK. I never wanted a bloody girl’...didn’t she Ray?” Ray nodded. “I told her she was talking rubbish and that it didn’t matter if they were boys or girls. She should be grateful they were healthy, especially with what happened with the other one.”

  “She told your dad it was the reason why she'd got pregnant again so quickly after Kate was born. She'd been trying for another boy. And when Emma was born it seemed to turn Angie. Sometimes they were a family, but only sometimes. Joe was all right with Kate wasn’t he, Ray? He loved that little girl and he showed her more love and affection then her mother ever did that’s for sure.”

  “So why did Joe leave when he did then?” Jack asked her.

  “Angie started to bring men to the house when Joe was working. If you ask me she was on the game. She always seemed to have new clothes, but them kiddies didn’t. They wore stuff from jumble sales. Kate would have it first, then it would go down to little Emma. Then Joe lost his job at the farm. We suggested he try for a job at Butterfields but for some reason he said it wouldn’t be right and he left. He shouldn’t have done that. He left those kiddies to fend for themselves and that was wrong. I’ll give him a piece of my mind when I see him, you see if I don’t?” Ray tutted. “There she goes again, like a bull at a gate. That’ll be the first thing to drive him away again.”

  “We've got to find him first,” said Jack. “Any ideas? What about you, Dad. You knew him quite well, didn’t you?”

  “He told me before he left that if he could turn the clock back he would. He said the past was where his heart was. I don’t know what he meant but I suppose he could’ve gone back to Ireland. His dad died years ago and his mum took his body home and she never came back to Willowbridge as far as I know. I think he might have gone over to see her once but that was ages ago, when he was in his twenties. Joe’s lived round these parts for years. I knew him when he was at school. Well...when he went that is which wasn’t often if I remember rightly. His mum and dad were ordina
ry people, very hard-working, and I know they used to despair of Joe sometimes. She said all that interested him was fishing and his mates.”

  “How old is he, Dad? Joe I mean?” Ray leant his head to one side and did some quick mental arithmetic. “He must be mid-forties or more by now. Angie was about ten years younger than him. I think she was about sixteen or seventeen when they got together and he was about twenty-six, seven...something like that, anyway. There was a lot of talk at first. People said she was too young for him but she’d set her cap at him and that was that. She knew what she was doing when she nailed him. As far as we know he didn’t have anyone else before her. In his twenties he became a bit of a loner. Peculiar that weren’t it, Ivy? He sort of changed didn’t he? Never really bothered with girls, just went fishing all the time, and he had his job of course at the farm...that is until they made him redundant. Then he just did a bunk.”

  “Kate and Emma didn’t have much of a start in life did they?”

  “They certainly didn’t,” said Ivy, her eyes downcast. “It’s a wonder they’ve turned out the way they have. I know Emma’s brought some trouble home but that sort of thing happens all the time. Anyone can get pregnant, can’t they, Ray?”

  “Yep,” Ray agreed. “You did.”

  Jack stared at them, astonished. Ivy looked embarrassed and started knitting at a furious rate.

  “You didn’t have to get married, did you, Mum?” Ray answered for her. “No, son. We didn’t have to get married. Your mum and I were very much in love but we had a bit of a slip up. It didn’t make any difference to us. We loved each other and I couldn’t imagine being without Ivy, or she me. We just did things a different way round than what we would’ve. Our Lisa was born four months after we married and no child was more welcome, eh Ivy?”

  Ivy looked wistful as she thought of the day their daughter was born. “Your dad and me were so happy. Then all the others followed. Next came our Sarah, then the twins, Polly and Marty, and then you, our baby. You were all wanted and all loved.”

  She got up and put her knitting on her chair. “Your dad’s quite a man,” she said. “I only had to look at him with a twinkle in me eye and I got pregnant. I’m going to make some tea. Do you want one?” Jack shook his head. “I agree with Dad. Kate should know. God knows why they didn’t tell her before.” Ivy patted him on the shoulder. “You’ll be all right, lad. I know she’ll be fine with you. Just take care of her and be gentle with her. She’s had some hard knocks.”

  Ivy went out to the kitchen then remembered something else. “I nearly forgot. Michael has a little grave in the cemetery at Willowbridge Parish Church. It’s ever so small mind – just a metal marker with his name on it. When I used to go to the Young Willowbridge Wives meetings I sometimes took a little posy to put on his grave.”

  “What about Joe?” Jack asked her. “Did he ever go?” Ivy gave a hollow laugh. “You must be joking. Joe didn’t even go to the little boy’s funeral. They said he was too upset and as far as I know he never visited the grave. It’s such a shame.”

  Ray folded up his newspaper and switched on the television. “It’s a bad business,” he sighed, “and it’ll be even worse if my horses don’t come in this afternoon.” He winked at Jack. “I’ve spent all your mum’s housekeeping on ‘em. I hope I haven’t picked a load of nags.”

  “No, Ray Daly,” she cried. “You’d better hope not because if you 'ave, I’ll be nagging you, don’t you worry about that. Tut, bloody horses. They’re all he thinks about.”

  Chapter 34

  “Maybe we could contact Diana Barton about Christina.”

  “Or maybe we won’t.”

  “Why not, Emma? Now Mum’s gone Diana’s her only Nana. It would be so nice for Christina to know her grandma.”

  “Yeah, but not nice for me. There’s no way I’ll contact her. What you do is up to you but don’t expect me to put out the red carpet for her.”

  “I was so sorry to hear about your mum, Kate. It must have been a difficult time for you.” Diana followed Kate into Emma and Christina’s room. “Wow. Someone’s been working hard.”

  “Jack and I...he’s my boyfriend... did it between us when Emma was in hospital. We think it's turned out great.”

  “It’s really lovely. I hardly recognise it. Is Emma home?”

  “She’s gone to the chemist with Christina. The baby’s got a cold and it’s keeping her awake at night. Nothing serious. She shouldn’t be long.”

  “She's OK about me coming today?” Kate looked down at her feet. “I haven’t told her, I'm sorry. We’ve had so much to deal with...I didn’t want to push her. I don’t know what her reaction will be.”

  The front door opened and Emma wheeled Christina’s pram into the hall. Diana glanced at Kate. “I think we’re about to find out.” As Emma pushed Christina through the door she called out. “We’re home, Aunty Kate. We’re back.” She saw Diana and her face paled. “Oh, you are here. I saw the car down the street. I wondered.” She looked away as if deciding what to do next. Turning back again she looked Diana straight in the eye. “I s’pose you’ve come to see Christina?”

  “Yes, and you of, course. I care about you...both of you.” Emma lifted Christina from her pram and placed the infant into Diana’s arms.

  “She's beautiful, Emma. She looks just like you. I hope you don’t mind...I brought some gifts for you and Christina.”

  “They’re not from Stephen are they? We don’t want anything from him.” Diana looked surprised. “Isn’t that why you came to Meadow’s End?”

  “Not in the way you mean. I never really expected anything from Stephen because I know him, don't forget. And I know you know him too and I don't think you like him either. I know he's your son, and I’m sorry to have to say this but he's not very nice. Me and Christina can manage without him. Anyway, I hate him.”

  “Emma, don’t,” Kate cried.

  “Well, I do. If I had to pick a father for my baby he’d be at the bottom of the pile believe me. That’s where he belongs, in the gutter, because that’s what he said to me when I told him about Christina. He said I was no better than rubbish in the gutter.”

  “Emma, that’s enough. You're upsetting everyone.”

  “Sorry, I'm sure. Why should I care,” Emma cried. “I'm upset too. I’m a girl having to be a woman because I’ve got a baby, did you forget? I’ve got feelings too, not that anyone could give a stuff. And why’s she here, anyway? Her precious son says he’s not Christina’s dad. Doesn’t she believe him? How come she knows better than he does? Was she there?”

  Diana gently placed Christina into Kate’s arms. She took Emma's hand and led her to the sofa. “Look, Emma, I know this will be hard for you to believe but I do know how you feel.”

  “Oh, here we go,” Emma said scornfully. “Don’t come all that psycho-babble, hippy-shit with me. How could you know? You live in that great big house, you wear posh clothes and you’re loaded. Er... somehow I think that makes you the complete opposite to me. How could you possibly know how I feel?”

  Diana thought for a moment. She'd hidden her eldest son from Matthew for years and it had meant their relationship and marriage had started with dishonesty. Matthew should have been told about her the baby she’d given birth to years before. She decided to begin with Kate and Emma. Taking them into her confidence was preparation for when she told Matthew. One day she would tell them they had a half-brother somewhere in the world. It would have to be when she was safe in the knowledge that they would understand the love she had for their father.

  “I do know, Emma,” Diana said softly, “because it happened to me too, when I was young.” Emma’s mouth dropped open. “What?”

  “You don’t have to tell us, Mrs. Barton,” Kate said as she rocked the now fully awake Christina in her arms. “We don’t expect anything from you and you don't have to tell us.” Diana shook her head. “I want to tell you because I know what it’s like to be left by someone; to be let down by the one person you th
ought you could rely on. I wanted my baby with me more than anything in the world but other people took the decision out of my hands when I was at a weak point in my life. I was very distressed about the man I loved deserting me but there are no excuses. It was as much my fault as anyone’s. I should have fought for him and for my baby.”

  Christina gurgled contentedly in Kate’s arms. The atmosphere in the room had suddenly changed. The tension had evaporated and all Kate and Emma felt was curiosity as they waited with bated breath for her to tell them her story.

  “'I'm telling you because I recognise everything Emma's going through now. I can remember feeling just like that and I know how desperate and wretched it makes you feel. The difference is that I wasn't allowed to keep my baby.” She reached for Emma’s hand. Emma didn’t pull away as she would have done only moments before.

  “I admire you for keeping Christina. There must have been a temptation to have her adopted or perhaps not go through with the pregnancy at all. You didn’t give in to pressure like I did. I was exhausted because I missed the father of my child so much. I couldn’t believe he’d abandoned me after all we’d been through. I allowed my baby to be taken from me and it was very wrong.” She looked from one to the other. “I don't know how you've done it but between you you've managed. It couldn’t have been easy looking after a baby when you were also looking after your mum.” She paused. “I know your life wasn’t easy with your mum. I’ve no doubt you made sacrifices and learnt to do without but you didn’t abandon her. It says everything about you.” Emma looked down, her anger with Diana completely evaporated. She glanced up again to find Kate looking at her.

  “I was a pampered child,” Diana continued. “I had the most luxurious home; the most beautiful clothes money could buy, and when I wanted a new doll or bicycle it was there for me, but I missed my father dreadfully. He was never at home because he was always at the factory. I really loved my dad because he was a good and kind man. He created Butterfields. Most people in the town have connections to Butterfields in one way or another.”