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by Cavanaugh Lee


  Sent:

  Wednesday, December 17, 2008 at 6:09 AM

  From:

  Peter

  To:

  Rose

  Subject:

  Re: Come to my office ASAP.

  On my way now.

  Sent:

  Wednesday, December 17, 2008 at 3:13 PM

  From:

  Marty

  To:

  Izabell

  Subject:

  Worried

  Now I’m really worried. You aren’t answering any of my calls. What’s going on, Iz? Come on. Please talk to me.

  Izabell_Chin I like wnie.

  3:58 PM Dec 17th via twitterfeed

  Sent:

  Wednesday, December 17, 2008 at 4:15 PM

  From:

  Izabell

  To:

  Elizabeth

  Subject:

  Re: Yep, Still Drinking in the Middle of the Afternoon

  Do youuuu have that ol e-mail I wrote to Rose??? Did I sent it to u? I think I repermantenly delted it from my emale. I wnt to send it to her snce she’s ruin my life. Snd me it if u have it and I’ll send to her that birtch.

  Sent:

  Wednesday, December 17, 2008 at 5:23 PM

  From:

  Annette

  To:

  Elizabeth

  Subject:

  Drunk Izzy

  E—

  I tried calling Izzy’s cell, but she won’t answer. If we don’t hear from her by tonight, you may want to show up at her door unannounced. I’m usually a fan of “giving people space” when they’re going through stuff like this but …

  Have you talked to Brooke? She’s usually good at this sorta thing.

  —Annette

  Sent:

  Wednesday, December 17, 2008 at 6:16 PM

  From:

  Izabell

  To:

  Elizabeth

  Subject:

  Re: Yep, Still Drinking in the Middle of the Afternoon

  Tollasdh runkdv and drinkinga no work ging to bet fired if illllllll don’ta get over hits.

  Oosp.

  —ZyI

  Sent:

  Wednesday, December 17, 2008 at 6:26 PM

  From:

  Elizabeth

  To:

  Izabell

  Subject:

  Re: Yep, Still Drinking in the Middle of the Afternoon

  That’s it. Two days of this shit? I’m getting in my car now and driving to kick your a** into shape.

  And, please install that new Gmail function that prevents drunken e-mails such as this one when you’re sober.

  Sent:

  Wednesday, December 17, 2008 at 7:07 PM

  From:

  Izabell

  To:

  Elizabeth

  Subject:

  Re: Yep, Still Drinking in the Middle of the Afternoon

  Wilsasober us up. As f now. Prmis.

  Sent:

  Wednesday, December 17, 2008 at 7:17 PM

  From:

  Rose

  To:

  Peter, John

  Subject:

  Let’s meet at the airport at 5 AM for our 9 am flight to be on the safe side.

  Sent:

  Wednesday, December 17, 2008 at 7:53 PM

  From:

  Brooke

  To:

  Elizabeth

  Cc:

  Annette

  Subject:

  Izzy

  Just got off the phone with Annette. Am Cc-ing her on this e-mail. Well, what do we do? Izzy’s obviously not taking this well. And, who would? I mean, her heart’s broken. Poor thing. Let’s give her till tomorrow morning. If she doesn’t stop drinking, Netty and I will drive from Charlotte to Atlanta with chocolate and ice cream. (And, a copy of Bridget Jones’s Diary—Netty’s highlighted and tabbed one.)

  Sent:

  Wednesday, December 17, 2008 at 7:58 PM

  From:

  Elizabeth

  To:

  Brooke, Annette

  Subject:

  Re: Izzy

  And, Pepto Bismol.

  Sent:

  Wednesday, December 17, 2008 at 8:17 PM

  From:

  Izabell

  To:

  Elizabeth

  Subject:

  Re: Yep, Still Drinking in the Middle of the Afternoon

  djdgjaiwehighvidhgkgasektet*()#@_)$naredggj

  Sent:

  Wednesday, December 17, 2008 at 8:26 PM

  From:

  Elizabeth

  To:

  Annette, Brooke

  Subject:

  Izzy’s Meltdown

  Ladies,

  Proof below of Izzy’s meltdown:

  ----------Forwarded message----------

  Sent:

  Wednesday, December 17, 2008 at 8:17 PM

  From:

  Izabell

  To:

  Elizabeth

  Subject:

  Re: Yep, Still Drinking in the Middle of the Afternoon

  djdgjaiwehighvidhgkgasektet*()#@_)$naredggj

  Sent:

  Wednesday, December 17, 2008 at 8:37 PM

  From:

  Izabell

  To:

  Elizabeth, Annette, Brooke

  Subject:

  Boo This Sux

  Boxx this sux. Pete’s fking wasted our luv. I mis my freindssssss.

  Sent:

  Wednesday, December 17, 2008 at 8:39 PM

  From:

  Annette

  To:

  Izabell, Elizabeth, Brooke

  Subject:

  Re: Boo This Sux

  Izzy’s totally gone off the deep end. Now, she’s e-mailing ALL of us her meltdown. Can’t believe she’s documenting it in WRITING. What a waste.

  Sent:

  Wednesday, December 17, 2008 at 8:41 PM

  From:

  Izabell

  To:

  Annette, Elizabeth, Brooke

  Subject:

  Re: Boo This Sux

  Ouch.

  Sent:

  Wednesday, December 17, 2008 at 8:42 PM

  From:

  Annette

  To:

  Elizabeth, Brooke

  Subject:

  Re: Boo This Sux

  Crap. Hit “Reply to All.”

  Sent:

  Wednesday, December 17, 2008 at 8:44 PM

  From:

  Elizabeth

  To:

  Annette, Brooke

  Subject:

  Re: Boo This Sux

  Paging “damage control, damage control, damage control …”

  Sent:

  Wednesday, December 17, 2008 at 8:47 PM

  From:

  Brooke

  To:

  Elizabeth, Annette

  Subject:

  Re: Boo This Sux

  Oh, well. Maybe it’ll wake her up.

  Sent:

  Thursday, December 18, 2008 at 7:17 AM

  From:

  Izabell

  To:

  Elizabeth, Annette, Brooke

  Subject:

  Re: Yep, Still Drinking in the Middle of the Afternoon

  I just woke up in my own vomit.

  Sent:

  Thursday, December 18, 2008 at 7:19 AM

  From:

  Izabell

  To:

  Elizabeth, Annette, Brooke

  Subject:

  Re: Yep, Still Drinking in the Middle of the Afternoon

  And, I suddenly feel better. How does that just … happen … all of a sudden?

  Sent:

  Thursday, December 18, 2008 at 9:22 AM

  From:

  Elizabeth

  To:

  Izabell, Annette, Brooke

  Subject:

  Re: Yep, Still Drinking in the Middle of the Afternoon

  Waking up in my own vomit always makes me feel better. ;-)

  Sent:

  Thursday, December 18, 20
08 at 9:24 AM

  From:

  Elizabeth

  To:

  Izabell

  Subject:

  Re: Yep, Still Drinking in the Middle of the Afternoon

  Btw, what e-mail to Rose were you blabbering about yesterday? Some draft e-mail? Couldn’t make out what you were saying …

  Sent:

  Thursday, December 18, 2008 at 9:33 AM

  From:

  Annette

  To:

  Izabell, Elizabeth, Brooke

  Subject:

  Re: Yep, Still Drinking in the Middle of the Afternoon

  All the bad stuff fades.

  On an unrelated note, do you think this ever works for him (cut and pasted below).

  Hey,

  I like your profile.

  —John

  Btw, sadly but surely, this is the last “cut and pasted below” e-mail you will receive from me. My Match account expires tonight, and I didn’t renew it.

  I actually met someone (yes, on Match, no teasing allowed), and we’re going on our fifth date. Believe it or not, I’m going to give it a shot. OK, that’s enough of that.

  Oh, and it’s NOT Fishtankguy!

  Sent:

  Thursday, December 18, 2008 at 6:17 PM

  From:

  Marty

  To:

  Izabell

  Subject:

  …

  You are breaking my heart, Iz. That’s all I’m going to say. I deserve a phone call.

  Sent:

  Friday, December 19, 2008 at 10:12 PM

  From:

  Marty

  To:

  Izabell

  Subject:

  Last Try

  This is my last attempt at contacting you. I’ve left at least ten messages for you over the past few days, and you’ve responded to nothing. You have broken my heart, Iz. I had fallen in love with you. For what it’s worth, I guess I’ve realized that we aren’t meant to be—for whatever reason. I’ll never quite know.

  I’m listening to The Beatles B-side “I’m Down” right now. It’s about lies, crying, and, oddly enough, wedding rings. Google the lyrics if you don’t know them. Then you’ll know exactly how I feel.

  —Marty

  Sent:

  Friday, December 19, 2008 at 10:15 PM

  From:

  Izabell

  To:

  Peter

  Subject:

  Key, Etc.

  Peter,

  I haven’t seen you in a week. Hopefully you’ve managed to take some care of yourself while preparing for your hearing. Anyway, I just wanted to let you know that the key is under the mat. The movers are all done, and I’m officially out of the apartment. I vacuumed and cleaned the shower.

  Hope all went well today. I’m sure you and the team did great.

  Best,

  Izzy

  Draft:

  Friday, December 19, 2008 at 11:54 PM

  From:

  Peter

  To:

  Izabell

  Subject:

  Tired

  This e-mail was written but not sent and will save as Draft until further action.

  The hearing went well, better than expected even. I have no doubt that we will win the case.

  But, I have no idea what all that work was for. It somehow feels like a hollow victory.

  I just got back from the airport, and I’m standing in the middle of our empty apartment. I’m so tired.

  —Peter

  Sent:

  Saturday, December 20, 2008 at 9:15 AM

  From:

  Peter

  To:

  Arnold

  Subject:

  Teaching Position

  Arnold,

  This is Peter Schultz, Irina’s son. She tells me that there has been a teaching opening at your school for these past few months. If that’s still the case, I’d like to hear more about it. If it’s already been filled, I completely understand—I probably should’ve written you sooner. What is a good number at which to reach you?

  Best,

  Peter

  Sent:

  Saturday, December 20, 2008 at 9:30 AM

  From:

  Izabell

  To:

  Elizabeth, Annette, Brooke

  Subject:

  The Process

  And so, the process begins … I’ve moved in to my new apartment (which used to be my old one bedroom). I’m surrounded by boxes. In a moment of weakness, I thought about not unpacking, heading back to San Francisco, and starting from scratch. But, then I realized that would just be running away. And, I’m not going to run anywhere. I’m staying right here. I’m going to deal.

  I never responded to Marty. I’ll respond at some point later in time. When I’m ready. I need to be alone. Is that horrible? I put the key under the mat for Peter. I wonder if we’ll ever talk again. I never heard any response from my last e-mail.

  What a year. Merry pre-Christmas, ladies. I’ll call tomorrow. Love you all. Thanks for holding my sorry a** up these past few months.

  —Your Crazy Izzy

  Sent:

  Saturday, December 20, 2008 at 9:35 AM

  From:

  Dad

  To:

  Izabell

  Subject:

  ?

  Mom and I just got some really weird e-mail from you. It went directly to the Spam account for some reason, but we found it when we were cleaning out our folders. It’s like you wrote it in another language. Were you drinking???

  Sent:

  Saturday, December 20, 2008 at 9:39 AM

  From:

  Izabell

  To:

  Annette, Elizabeth, Brooke

  Subject:

  Oh

  I just installed that G-mail function to prevent drunken e-mails. Luckily, I haven’t had to use it yet. ;-)

  Sent:

  Saturday, December 20, 2008 at 9:45 AM

  From:

  Izabell

  To:

  Annette, Elizabeth, Brooke

  Subject:

  Last thing!

  I almost forgot! Funny story: After the movers finished packing all my stuff, when I was alone in our old apartment, I dug up the diamond ring and put it on my finger one last time. Confession: I also put on my $3,000 wedding dress. Can you just imagine if Peter (or anyone else, for that matter) had walked in? What a sight. Anywhoooo, I twirled that ring around—such a gorgeous ring—such a darn loss—still don’t understand why a girl can’t keep the ring. JUST KIDDING. Anyway, as I was twirling it around watching it sparkle, three of the tiny diamonds on the band just up and popped out!!!!!

  No s—t. Well, I took that damn thing off immediately after that and put it BACK in the drawer.

  As for the three little diamonds, I put them in my pocket. I plan to throw them out the window of my new apartment tonight—cremation style.

  P.S. I’m still in the dress.

  P.P.S. (KIDDING)

  Sent:

  Thursday, December 25, 2008 at 8:08 PM

  From:

  Izabell

  To:

  Annette, Elizabeth, Brooke

  Subject:

  Merry Christmas

  So, it’s Christmas, girlies.

  All quiet on the man front. No word from Marty. No word from Peter. Nada.

  Onward ho! (Get it? It’s Christmas!)

  Love,

  Izzy

  Sent:

  Thursday, December 25, 2008 at 9:19 PM

  From:

  Peter

  To:

  Jenny

  Subject:

  Merry Christmas

  Great seeing you last week. Merry Christmas. Thanks for the advice. Maybe I’ll take it. Maybe I’ll e-mail her.

  —Peter

  Sent:

  Thursday, December 25, 2008 at 10:58 PM

  From:

  Marty

  To:

  Marty

  Subject:
/>
  Merry Christmas

  Well, I write this e-mail to myself on Christmas day so that it may forever be documented in my Inbox. What a strange year. I lost the girl of my dreams to … I don’t even know what. And, even though she treated me like s—t toward the end there, I would still have taken her back on this very day had she simply sent me a Merry Christmas.

  So much for my Rom-Com ending …

  But, resilient as I am, it is back to the trenches for me. Onward and upward … Time to find the girl of my dreams! I know she’s out there!

  Shut up and deal, Marty.

  —Says Marty

  Sent:

  Thursday, December 25, 2008 at 11:29 PM

  From:

  Victoria’s Secret

  To:

  Izabell Chin

  Subject:

  Purchase Order Confirmation

  Thank you for shopping at Victoria’s Secret.

  This e-mail is to confirm the receipt of your recent order from Victoria’s Secret.

 

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