Private Show (The Private Series)

by Torella, Danielle

  I give her a hug. “Thank you, Gwen, that means a lot to me. I think of you as a second mom.”

  “Oh, stop you’re going to make me cry! I not only gained Caroline as a daughter but you as well. And Tess… don’t worry about Benjamin. He will come around.”

  I take a step back. “I think he has, but it’s just me.” And I walk away. I think she understands. Thank God.

  I tighten my jacket to my body. Maybe I should have called James to come and get me after all. It’s late in the afternoon and the sun is starting to hide away behind the thick clouds. It feels like rain soon. I pick up my pace and start to haul butt home.

  I am only a couple blocks away when the sky opens up. Great, real great. I dart inside of a small music shop on Capitol Hill. It’s nice and warm in here. I look around and see rows of CDs and vinyl records, and people wearing headphones and bobbing their heads as they listen to music.

  I French-braid my hair to keep it from looking like it belongs to a wet shaggy dog, and I take off my jacket. Fingering through the thousands of albums, I pick up a few on my way down the lines.

  “Nice choices.” The voice is familiar. I pop my head up and look to my right. I am greeted with a handsome smile and hipster glasses.

  “Oh, hey,” I say to my recent tattoo artist.

  “Tess, right?” He adjusts his black frames.

  “Yeah, it’s Tony, right?” I ask so I don’t sound like I remember him… or was checking him out at the tattoo shop.

  He holds up his own stack of CDs. “Stocking up too, I see.” He looks cute in his glasses and now a deep red slouchy. He is wearing black jeans, black boots and a fitted gray hooded Hanley. He isn’t as tall as Ben or as toned, but he is attractive. “So, how’s that tattoo feeling?” He asks.

  I tell him about my morning mishap. He gives off a soft laugh and tips his head down and looks at me with a cute smile. “There’s a great café next door… would you want to grab a cup of coffee with me?” He bites the corner of his lip, which adorns a lip ring I didn’t notice before.

  I fidget with my CDs and look at the rack next to me. I don’t know what to say. I have never been asked out, out in the open before. I’ve only had the horrible high school experience and Ben. Never face to face with an acquaintance. He seems like a great guy and we have the same taste in music and he even offered me coffee.

  Coffee.

  I find my voice, “I am sorry, but I am seeing someone. Well, sort of… it’s complicated.”

  He gives me a half smile and nods. “The reason for the tattoo? I assume you’re not British, so the flag on the cup is it for him?”

  “Yes.” I look down. I feel a little uncomfortable right now, I don’t know why, but I do. I feel like someone is watching me. I turn around.

  Looking over my shoulder he asks, “Who’s that? The woman staring at you?”

  I roll my eyes. “I’m not entirely sure, but I have a feeling.”

  “Well, I think she thinks differently… here she comes.” He warns me.

  She has a smug look on her face and her nose in the air, “Tess, isn’t it?”

  “Yes, do I know you?”

  She tosses her long locks over her shoulder in pure snobbish fashion, “You should.”

  I cross my arms over my chest, I can do this, I can do this, I repeat my mantra. “You’re Nicole.”

  “Ah, good you do know who I am.”

  “Yeah I saw you pretty clearly in New York.” I tighten my jaw. “Which by the way how did you know we were headed there to begin with?”

  “Not that it’s any of your business, but I was in the city shipping back my last boxes to Seattle. I am moving back.” Her tone is somewhat threatening, but also sounding a bit unsure.

  “Trying to get back with the one man you know you fucked up with huh?” And she did fuck up. Ben, even through his flaws is an honorable man… now.

  She has become fidgety, “Yeah, well, did he tell you about our run in at Chatz and how he came back to my place?”

  I knew it! I knew that was his car in someone’s driveway, but I never would have thought that it was her house! Calm down Tess, you don’t know the whole story. Are you going to trust a woman like her or your own instincts?

  My pause must be a giveaway in my answer, because she laughs nervously, “Of course not. Who’s this? The new boyfriend?” She looks appalled by Tony’s appearance

  “One, no I don’t doubt Ben being at your place, not that it’s any of your business, Nicole, but no, this is not my boyfriend. He is a friend, though, and my tattoo artist.”

  “Where is Ben?”

  “What’s it matter to you?”

  “Oh, nothing just making it easier for me to get back with Ben, by moving on so quickly,” obviously sarcastic. “Thanks,” She puts her overpriced manicure on my shoulder.

  I take in a settling breath of air, because I don’t know how much more of her crap I can take and talking with her is really pissing me off. Tony sees my discomfort; he puts his hand on my lower back and leads me to the registers. But she’s not done.

  “I know you didn’t hook up with him.” I say confidently.

  She bites on her lips and crosses her chest, “Oh yeah? How are you so sure?”

  “Because I know Ben better than anyone.”

  Before she can say anything her phone rings and I just drop off my CDs and walk out into the rain.

  I didn’t even put my jacket back on. I just wanted to get out of there. Tony is right behind me, holding his coat over my head while I throw mine on. He is a gentleman.

  “Thanks,” I say, “so how about that coffee? I think I need to calm my nerves.”

  “You got it. And don’t most people have coffee to jack up their nerves, not calm them?”

  “I am a little different.”

  I take a hot shower to try and warm my bones. The hot coffee and conversation with Tony helped a lot, but I just feel off. I feel lost. When I am standing in the steaming cascade of water, I think about calling Ben. I wonder what he’s been up to, other than sending me a flower every day. He hasn’t texted or called in a while… not that I was reading the messages.

  I put on a pair of leggings and a baggy sweatshirt. I pop in a microwave dinner and pour a glass of wine. Wow. I am one cat away from being totally pathetic.

  Just as the ding on microwaves alerts me my dinner is ready, I get a buzz at my intercom. It’s a delivery. I rush down to get it. It’s an envelope with no insignia of where it came from or from who. I rip it open to find a fancy invitation.

  Miss Tess Martin,

  You are invited by Tones Magazine to attend the charity masquerade ball at Neptune 1303 NE 45th St, Seattle, WA.

  On the evening of November 23rd.

  Wear your best and prepare to rock the benefit to stop bullying.

  Featuring the chart topping band: Shinedown

  Masks are mandatory.

  A piece of paper falls out of the envelope. It’s from Mrs. Fuller, telling me that I will be shooting the event with Katherine, my new writing partner, and to keep an eye out for a detailed e-mail.

  I have never been to a formal event, but I have always wanted to go to a masquerade ball. And to photograph fucking Shinedown! My all-time favorite band! This is going to be a fun night. I wonder if Ben will be there… I am sure he will be. At least I’ll be working with a new girl and not be too horribly distracted. Although dressing up and dancing with Ben would be a dream.

  Stop it, Tess. Think about work. Focus on work.

  What am I going to wear? The event is this weekend! This calls for an emergency shopping trip with Erin. I pick up my cell to call her right away and I have a text from Ben.

  Ben: Are you seeing someone?

  What? Nicole! That bitch! Well, there goes the silent treatment.

  Tess: No I am not.

  Ben: Who were you with earlier?

  Tess: A friend.

  Ben: I didn’t know you had male friends.

  Tess: He’s a new f
riend.

  Ben: Where did you meet him?

  Tess: What’s it matter? You seem to be all buddy buddy with Nicole.

  I snip. Not going to stop until I get some answers.

  Ben: I told you, nothing happened! Trust me.

  Tess: Oh, yeah? Then where is the trust on me and my new friend? HUH?! And I see Nicole got her claws into you or I wouldn’t be having this conversation with you right now.

  Ben: I just want to keep what’s mine.

  I decide to not reply to that. I want to keep it that way.

  “What do you want, Nicole?” I ask, annoyed, when she comes into Chatz. I really hate having to come in at night to help out, I don’t want anything to happen, and give Tess another wrong impression. I feel like I am walking on glass. I am already on the edge, and I feel that if I miss one step I am dead.

  “Oh, nothing Ben…” She is trying to be coy and cutesy. I am not buying it.

  “Don’t waste my time, I am really not in the fucking mood and I told you not to come here!” I haven’t slept much. I am constantly here or in the office at Tones, just to keep myself distracted. But my nerves are just about shot and she is not fucking helping.

  She leans over my table and shoves her cleavage in my face. “Just thought that I would let you know, that I saw your so-called girlfriend with another guy not too long ago.”

  Now she has my attention.

  She smiles knowing she got to me, “Jealous? Want to stick it to her by sticking me?” She licks her upper lip.

  “No, thank you.” Just the thought alone disgusts me. I mean yeah, I am horny as fuck, but no way in bloody hell I am going after her… or anyone that isn’t Tess. “Pretty sure I made that clear when I took off out of your place, the other day.”

  “Don’t you want to know more about this guy she was with?”

  “Not particularly.”

  “He’s apparently a tattoo artist or her tattoo artist, as she put it.”

  Wait her tattoo artist? Tess doesn’t have any tattoos. That’s it. Time to get home. I need to text her, since she won’t answer her phone. Maybe I will get lucky this time and she will respond.

  Did she get a tattoo? And why is she hanging out with the guy?

  I stand and push past Nicole, and as I do she presses herself up against me. I just cringe. My body is only for Tess’s taking.

  “Hey, where are you going?”

  “Mind your own business, Nicole.” I snap at her.

  I motion to Charles that I am heading out and he lifts his hand in a wave. I can’t get out of here fast enough.

  Erin knows where all of the good shops are in Seattle, so I follow her around in search for the perfect dress and mask for the benefit. We have already been to three stores and I just haven’t seen the perfect dress yet.

  “It’s not like you’re looking for a wedding dress!” Erin snips at me.

  “I know… I just want something different, something no one else will be wearing.”

  “I know where to take you, come on!”

  We end up at this funky little shop and judging by the mannequins in the window, they just might have what I am looking for. As soon as we step in we are greeted by heavy rock music, black and red walls, and a space full of clothes from casual to dressy. There are glass stands full of accessories and a corner filled with shoes. I think I am in heaven!

  “Hi, welcome! My name is Monique. Is there anything special you are looking for?” She is dressed like me.

  We explain my needs.

  Her mouth pops open, “Are you attending the Anti-Bullying benefit with Shinedown?” she asks eagerly.

  I nod. “Yes, but I am also working it. I am a concert photographer for the magazine Tones.”

  She bounces off and returns with a rack on wheels full of colorful dresses. “I think I have just the thing for you!”

  I watch as she pulls the most beautiful dress out. It is bright pink and black, fitted on top and poofs out at the bottom with tulle. It’s shorter in the front and longer in the back, or as I like to call it, a mullet dress.

  Erin squeaks. “That’s it!”

  I couldn’t agree more.

  As I get ready to go to Neptune, Erin is there, telling me how sexy I look. But I don’t feel sexy, and all I say is, “Thank you.”

  She helps me zip the dress up, “So… do you think Ben will be there?”

  I sigh. “Most likely, I mean he is the magazine’s top journalist. I know I am working with someone new tonight, but it’s a huge event and they will have all hands on deck.”

  Erin hands me my mask. It’s simple and gorgeous; glittery and pink with a black rose to the side with ribbon hanging from it. And there is a simple swirl design around the eyes. I put it on and I stand in front of the full-length mirror on the back of my bathroom door.

  Erin helps me carry my gear down to the black Jeep Wrangler that James dropped off for me this morning. He took care of the deal and I gave him the money. I have been so busy and I am grateful for him taking care of this for me.

  I take in a deep breath, and Erin reaches in and takes my hand in hers. “Talk to him Tess.”

  I give her tight smile and nod.

  “I mean it.”

  “I know. Hey, I need to ask you about something…” I need to know the Details before talking to Ben, I think it’s only fair to hear both side, before getting angry.

  “Of course, what’s eating you?”

  I take in a deep breath, “Remember that night I brought your drunken butt home from Chatz?”

  “Yeah and thank you again by the way, you saved me from what did you call him?”

  “Ass Hat,” I can’t help but smile, “After I had tucked you in and was leaving your room, you said something…”

  Her eyebrows go up and so do her hands, she has a soft smile on her face as she waits for me to carry on.

  In one rushed breath I get it out, “You said that I can’t find out that you slept with Ben.”

  Erin’s hands shoot to her mouth and she bends over, “Oh, my God! Tess! I am so sorry! I didn’t want to hurt you, by telling you that! Shit! Do you hate me? I am so sorry, it was a long time ago! Like a long time ago… and a drunken one nighter.”

  “No, I don’t hate you!”

  “I am so sorry!” She cries and she reaches for a hug and I let her. I have no real reason to be angry or upset. This obviously happened before I came into the picture.

  “I know and it’s okay. I get it.” And I really do. Even after all this bullshit I get it.

  “Ben never said anything either?” She asks, wiping away strained tears.

  I shake my head, “Do you blame him?” I snort.

  “I suppose not. I am really sorry Tess, I love you like a sister and I never want to hurt you.”

  “I love you too, you’re my best friend. In the future don’t be afraid to tell me anything okay?”

  “Deal.”

  The Neptune is full of glamorous gowns and tuxedos. And masks galore. I head for the backstage access area and start to look for my new partner.

  I see a woman with long chestnut-colored hair that falls in soft ringlets. Her mask is silver and matches her dress. I introduce myself, and Katherine—who prefers to be called Kate—compliments my work.

  “Are you ready to get started? As you know, we would normally interview the band first, but tonight is different.”

  I nod.

  “Before the show starts why don’t you take a walk around and get some shots of the people in their masks. Just have fun.”

  “Is there a place I can stash my bag?”

  “Yeah, in the green room, that’s where everyone is keeping their gear.”

  “Great, thank you.” I head in the direction of the green room. I keep an eye out for anyone I might recognize and by that I mean Ben. It’s really hard to tell with everyone in masks.

  I pass people in very formal wear and more alternative dress wear like myself. I see some guys in leathery like suits, but no sleeves. I
know exactly who that is in front of me: Brent Smith, lead singer of Shinedown. There is no way I can talk to him. He walks out of the green room and I have to step to the side to let him through.

  He looks at me as he passes, “Nice mask,” he says with a smile. And my knees go weak. Thank God for this mask so he can’t see me blush.

  “Thanks,” I tell him.

  I set my bag down and set up my camera amid a few other press people. As I’m crouched, I feel a charge of static electricity. A familiar sensation.

  I feel Ben’s eyes on me. I am afraid to turn around and look at him, but I can feel him willing me to look him in the eyes. I slowly stand and turn in his direction, which happens to be the doorway.

  Fuck. No way of escaping.

  I stand in my spot and when my eyes meet his deep heavy eyes, my body feels like it weighs a ton. My heart quickens. He is standing with one arm bent on the door jamb and one hand in his pocket. He is wearing a simple black mask and the string holding it on is hot pink. I know he did that for me.

  I have to get going and get to work. I take one step towards him. His face is blank and unable to read. I stop in front of him and I wait for him to move, which of course he doesn’t.

  “Excuse me.” I whisper.

  “I miss you.”

  I can’t let this get to me before the show, before I take on one of the biggest events I am sure I will ever cover. I try to move past him, but he steps in the way.

  “You look beautiful.”

  “Thank you, but I really need to get to work.”

  He drops his head and looks at me through his dark hooded eyes, behind his mask. He is so fucking sexy right now. I clench my thighs together to try and subside my rising need for him. Between his look, his tux, mask and his scent all rolled together with his accent I want to take him here in this room.

  “Did you get a piercing?” He leans in even closer.

  I don’t say anything; I couldn’t even if I wanted to. I know if I were to try and speak I would just moan.