Searching for Mine

by Jennifer Probst

  Connor was used to being solitary, so it surprised him how easily he fell into a new routine and began to look forward to spending time with Luke. Through him, Ella had softened and often invited him over to the house for dinner. As the grueling winter hurled its fury in various ice and snowstorms, they huddled inside for warm food, hot cocoa, and sometimes the occasional board game.

  His paper began to take shape at a slow, grueling pace. Sometimes, he'd bitch about the convoluted style of feminine whining from her assignments, but now she just laughed and challenged him by offering up various facts and shared stories about their lives that were so vivid, he found himself reluctantly intrigued.

  Connor wasn't sure when it happened, but he knew somehow, some way, they'd become friends.

  He refused to analyze the reason or try to dig deeper. He was too afraid if their odd relationship was examined too closely, it would disintegrate under a strong wind and disappear forever.

  He usually worked on Saturdays, but he found himself with an afternoon free and no motivation to take on an odd job or do homework. The snow had melted just enough to clear the roadways, and the upcoming March week promised sun and a good thaw. On impulse, he walked next door and rang the bell.

  Luke answered, his face lighting up when he saw him. "Hi, Connor. Come on in."

  He stepped inside and Ella came around the corner. Her hair was twisted up in a messy knot, and she held a broom in one hand, with a dirty rag in the other. She gave him an evil smile and crooked her finger at him.

  "Ah, he's stepped into our lair, Luke. You know what that means, right?"

  "It's a fate worse than the plank. Worse than the guillotine."

  Connor glanced between them, grinning at their silliness. "You guys are seriously scaring me."

  "Any brave soul who ventures forth in the Blake household has to clean!" Ella declared.

  "I'm outta here."

  Luke laughed and blocked the door. Ella held the mop out like the Wicked Witch about to cast a spell on him. "Too late, Dunkle. You get the bathroom."

  "Forget it. I came to see if you guys wanted to go snow tubing, but since cleaning seems more fun, I'll go check with someone else."

  "Snow tubing!" Luke jumped up and down. "Mom! Can we go?"

  Ella wrinkled her nose. "But we didn't finish cleaning."

  "Mom! Please, oh, please. I swear I'll finish later when we get home. Some of the guys at school were talking about it, oh, please."

  Connor crossed his arms in front of his chest. "That's some mighty fine begging, Mom. But I don't want to break up you and Mr. Clean."

  Ella made a face. "Cute. What do you need? Snow pants and boots?"

  "Yep, that's it. We rent the tubes there. Up for it?"

  "Mom?"

  The whine was perfectly pitched and coincided with puppy dog eyes. Ella let out a breath. "How can I say no when I'm outvoted? Let's go."

  Luke gave a whoop and raced up the stairs. "I'm gonna change!"

  Ella looked down at her mop in mourning. "I guess no one ever died from dust bunnies, right?"

  "If so, I would have suffered a horrible death years ago."

  She punched his shoulder in a playful motion and touched her hair. "Ugh. Give me a few minutes to freshen up."

  "Sure."

  She came down in record-breaking speed, gliding down the stairs in black snow pants, a baggy sweatshirt, and snow boots. He was used to women who spent hours creating a palette on their face and a runway look for their wardrobe. Ella was comfortable in her own skin, didn't care what she wore, and owned both with a confidence that had originally puzzled him, but now he admired. Still, he much preferred her pale pink natural lips than the orange she sported. He wondered if he could steal it from her purse and help her lose it permanently.

  They drove to the snow tubing park and hit sheer chaos. Kids swarmed the hills with giant black tubes, and a contraption that worked like a ski lift pulled them to the top of the hill. Screams and laughter cut through the air. The mountains shimmered in the distance, jagged white rock framing blinding blue sky. The air rushed deep and clean in his lungs as they trudged to the cabin to register and get tubes and got in line to wait.

  "Mom, you're not going with us?"

  She shook her head. Cheeks flushed from the cold, she laughed and slid her glasses back up her nose. "I'll pass on this one, guys. You two causing a spectacle is enough for me."

  "A spectacle, huh?" he said. "Never pegged you for a snob, Ms. Blake, but I may need to rearrange my original opinion. When was the last time you did something completely undignified?"

  She rolled her eyes at his deliberate language. Luke chuckled.

  "Yeah, Mom, you should go. It'd be a riot to hear you screaming as you slide down the hill."

  Her brows snapped down in a frown. "Are you both baiting me? I would not scream."

  "Care to make a bet on that?" Connor drawled.

  Her lips pursed and irritation simmered around her. He'd learned she was kind of a sore loser. When he won at Monopoly, she accused him of using the green real estate to drive them out of business. When he beat her at Bananagrams, a game similar to Scrabble, she claimed he'd used abbreviations and slang. When he found poop in the actual dictionary and reigned champion, she got all snarky and muttered under her breath the rest of the night. It was kind of cute.

  "What bet?"

  He pondered her question. "You go down the hill once without screaming and I'll take you both out to dinner. Your choice."

  Luke whistled. "That's a good bet, Mom. You've been craving Italian for a while now but said that place was too expensive."

  Connor raised a brow. "Care to take the bet?"

  She glared at both of them, then stomped her feet. "This is the stupidest thing ever. I'm going to get wet and be miserable, but the lasagna will be worth it. Also the literal egg on your face."

  Connor smiled slowly. "Nice cliche."

  Her mouth fell open in shock.

  "Save our place. I'll grab you a tube," he told her. Laughing the whole way, he got another one and when he rejoined them, they were almost to the top. The attendants were brisk and efficient, setting them up on the lift and showing them how to hold the tube as they were pulled along. When they reached the summit, they were each set up in their own row, with Luke all the way to the left and Ella on the right. Connor was in the middle.

  They waited their turn and then the attendant gave them the thumbs-up signal.

  Everyone pushed off at once.

  Connor slid down the hill with decent speed, especially since his arms and legs were dangling over the tube, slowing him down. He spun in a full circle, the wind whipping at his face, stealing his breath, and laughter poured out of him as he reconnected with childhood memories of him and his brother spending a snowy day together.

  Luke got up first. "That was awesome! I'm getting back in line right away."

  "Okay, go ahead."

  Luke rushed back to the line and Connor looked for Ella. Where was she? His heart started to pound furiously, and finally he spotted a tag of black to the far right of the hill. How had she gotten over there?

  He bounded down the slight hill and found her spread out on the snowy ground, eyes closed, deadly still.

  "Ella!"

  He bent over her, cupping her cheeks, looking for any injuries. Her eyes suddenly snapped open, causing him to jerk back.

  "Gotcha! I didn't scream once, Dunkle. You owe me a lasagna."

  He stared at her in disbelief. "I thought you were hurt!"

  She rose up and smiled slow. "I know. Now who let out an undignified scream? What'd you think, I got hurt from a little snow tube? I'm tougher than that. Where's Luke?"

  He shook his head and stood up, reaching out his hand. "He's back in line. You know, people have gotten head injuries from this sport. Next time, have a little consideration."

  She looked a bit chagrined. "Sorry. Geez, I didn't know you'd get so worried." She reached out and took his hand. In one perfec
t motion, Connor pretended to pull her up, then dropped her back so she tumbled into the snow.

  His grin was evil. "Oops. My bad."

  She glared at him, shaking snow out of her hair. "You're gonna pay for that."

  "Bring it."

  They stared each other down and then moved. In a flash, she went for him, but he pinned her down and they wrestled in the snow bank, rolling over and over until her giggles reached his ears and he finally stopped.

  "Okay, okay, get off me. You win."

  Her knot had loosened and thick inky black waves covered her face. Slowly, he pushed them back from her cheeks and stared down at her, smiling. "You're a real pain in the ass, Blake."

  She stuck out her tongue.

  When he'd first met her, she struck him as the intense type. A real dry academic. Not much fun. He preferred the impulsive, easy, flirty type of women who didn't take themselves so seriously. But over the weeks, he'd discovered Ella's sense of fun was childish and pure at heart, like Luke's. Simple things gave her joy. Their gazes locked, and suddenly, everything changed.

  The air charged. Simmered.

  Sexual energy blasted to life. Crackled.

  Raw arousal struck him hard. Squeezed.

  She sucked in a breath. Hypnotized, he took in the lush pink mouth that had been rubbed free of lipstick. The gold-rimmed irises within eyes so dark and deep, a man could sink forever and never want to be pulled out. He leaned over. Her breath struck him with soft, breathy wisps.

  "Ella?" he whispered.

  Her lips parted. "Connor?"

  They paused on the barrier, reluctant to take the tumble, frozen in place by the question asked of each other.

  Connor made the only decision available because if he didn't kiss her in this moment, he'd spend the rest of his nights grieving the lost opportunity of a lifetime.

  So he kissed her.

  He swallowed her moan and tasted pure sweetness, an intoxicating swirl of purity and lust in one delicious twist. Her lips opened under his without hesitation, not only allowing entry but demanding. Her hands closed around his shoulders and she held on with a brutal force that rocketed his desire. Laid out on the snow, tucked away from the crowds, Connor kissed her like he'd never kissed another woman, and when he finally pulled away, he knew nothing would ever be the same again.

  They stared at each other in pure shock.

  "You guys okay?"

  The deep voice cut through the fog. Connor jumped up, turning around to see one of the park attendants. He hoped his voice would work when he tried to use it. "Yeah, sorry. Had a bit of a wipeout. Thanks."

  "No problem. Want me to take your tube?"

  Ella stumbled to her feet, looking dazed. "Umm, yes, I don't need it anymore. Thanks."

  "Sure." He took the tube and trudged away.

  Ella averted her gaze. "I better go check on Luke."

  "Ella?"

  She shuddered. Wrapped her arms around her chest. "Yeah?"

  He searched for the right words but didn't know what he really wanted to say. "I'm sorry."

  She stiffened. "Don't be ridiculous. We were just caught up in a moment. It was silly. Let's forget it, okay?"

  He tried to study her face but she turned and headed up the hill. As he followed, Connor wondered if he'd be able to forget it.

  She'd kissed Connor Dunkle.

  Ella nodded and smiled as Luke chattered nonstop through dinner. He'd met two boys from school during snow tubing and spent some time with them in the arcade. Watching her son bloom from sullen to joyful filled her with such relief her muscles seemed to actually sag. The weeks spent with Connor had been good for him. He never complained about shoveling, and got into the habit of doing his homework next door with Connor. They'd gotten close, and a bond had developed between man and boy she'd never seen before.

  Of course, it was dangerous.

  Especially after the kiss.

  Ella sipped her wine and picked at her salad. Luke was her main priority, and she didn't want him to be confused with the relationship between her and Connor. Somehow, they'd become good friends. He was also still technically her student. She wasn't about to screw anything up just because she had a physical weakness and was tempted by rock-hard muscles and stinging blue eyes. She'd need to forget the way his thighs had pinned her in the snow, parting her legs just enough so she could feel his erection through his jeans. She refused to think about the drugging, addictive taste of him on her lips, or the way his tongue had slid inside her mouth and taken charge with delicious, drugging thrusts.

  No way. They had a good thing going, and she knew how Connor worked. Women fell into his path like they'd been hypnotized, helpless against the mix of gorgeous looks, physical stature, and melting charm. She wasn't the type of woman he dated or looked for in a mate. She had small boobs and dressed like a sparrow rather than a peacock. She had no idea how to flirt or play games. She had no desire to have a one-night affair and wreck their friendship. Pretending that kiss was anything but an impulse, quickly forgotten, would be disastrous.

  The encounter proved one thing to her. She needed someone in her life. It was time. The image of the business card from Kinnections flashed in her mind, and Ella knew what she was going to do.

  "I'm going to the bathroom," Luke announced.

  "Okay, honey."

  Her son left them alone. An awkward silence descended.

  "Ella?"

  She dragged in a breath and forced herself to look up. "Yeah?"

  His blue eyes filled with worry. "Did I screw up? With us?"

  She wondered what she'd do if he boldly stated he wanted her. Woman to man. Naked. When he kissed her, she'd experienced such an intense bolt of hunger, her body had wrested control of her mind and let her fly free. Maybe this was a sign it was time for her to begin searching for what she needed. His kiss proved she had her own needs. It had been two years since she had a date or sexual experience. Hadn't she sacrificed enough yet? She loved her son, but didn't she deserve to find love or companionship, too? Wasn't it her turn?

  Ella forced a smile and shook her head. "No. We're friends, right? We're not going to let a kiss ruin that for all of us."

  Relief flickered over his face. "Good. Wouldn't want to lose the best neighbor I ever had. Or Luke, of course. He's an incredible kid."

  "Yeah. I'm kind of crazy about him."

  "He seems to be happy. Making some friends."

  They stared at one another for a bit. Again, the connection hummed between them. Ella cleared her throat. "So I made a decision. Remember when you offered to babysit for me?"

  "Yeah?"

  "I may need to take you up on that. I found a card for a matchmaking agency called Kinnections. I'm calling them to start the process."

  "Did you say Kinnections?" he asked in disbelief.

  "Yeah, why? Have you heard of them? They're located in Verily."

  He shook his head and grinned. "My brother's girlfriend is an owner."

  They were interrupted when the waitress came back and placed their dinners on the table. She was young, with pretty blonde hair, a short black skirt, and a gaze that focused solely on Connor. Ella bit back her irritation while she fluttered around him and completely ignored her. He shot the girl his standard, charming smile, and she practically sighed with pleasure.

  "Thanks, darlin'. I appreciate you working so hard."

  The girl boldly stared at him, cat green eyes hungrily roving over his body. "Don't mind working for a man who appreciates it."

  "Well, I do appreciate it. Your pretty face brightened up my day."

  Ella blanched at the awful line, but the girl smiled with pride. "Well, you can brighten my day anytime."

  What? Oh, she was so going to lose it.

  Ella cleared her throat. "Yes, thanks so much for doing your job. We're good." The waitress shot her a glare, then slunk away. Ella pointed her fork at him. "What's wrong with you? I don't care if you flirt with every female in a skirt, but why do you have to soun
d like you have zero intelligence? I mean, darlin'? You're not even Southern!"

  He frowned. "I was just trying to lift her spirits. Waitressing is hard work."

  She ground her teeth in frustration. "Then don't thank her for having a pretty little face! Thank her for working hard and anticipating our needs as customers. Ugh, it's like you dragged womankind back a few decades. How do you get away with this stuff?"

  He gave a suffering sigh. "Now you sound like Nate and Kennedy. I never had complaints before, okay? Women seem to like it."

  "Well, they shouldn't. And if they do, you're dating the wrong type of women," she muttered.

  "Can we go back to our original subject? I can call Kennedy and tell her you'll be calling. She may even be able to give you a discount. I'm excited for you. They screen all their clients and match you with a guy who's right for you. It's thorough and safe."

  She picked up her fork and dug into her lasagna. Did he have to sound so damn excited about her suddenly dating? "Sounds good."

  He began eating his ravioli. "They do a consultation and a makeover, too. It's all included in the price."

  A flash of pain cut through her. She'd never be a woman to inspire a man to rip off her clothes and tumble her on the ground. But she'd be damned if she'd settle for the dregs of his pity for the poor, single mom. Did he want her to get a makeover that bad? If he was so turned off by her appearance, had he kissed her out of obligation? To make her feel better about herself? Shame burned.

  She tried to keep her voice light and teasing though she squirmed inside. "Didn't know you were so excited about hooking me up, Dunkle? Trying to keep me distracted for a bigger curve on your upcoming assignment?"

  He grinned. "Nah, I know how that works now. No more pissing off my professor. I just think you deserve to be happy, Ella. You're, well, you're--" he stopped off, shaking his head. He rarely stumbled over words or compliments toward females, so she studied him with interest.

  "I'm what?"

  "You're an incredible woman," he said softly. "You deserve...everything."

  She sucked in her breath. Raw emotion flooded her system, but she had no time to answer. Luke came racing back, shoveling spaghetti and meatballs in his mouth in between trading bad knock-knock jokes with Connor.

  Ella told herself to forget his intimate words and the way he made her feel. He was right. It was time to move on.

  It was time to join Kinnections.