Rozalyn 5

by Shan

  Last I heard, Taron was locked up on them fed charges. I hadn't even thought about trying to contact him to see if he was still behind bars or extend my help. The whole situation just didn't feel right, and it was like he was stabbing me in the back like everybody else had done.

  The whole thing about Taron though was that he was not like his twin. All while growing up; the two of them always had different personalities with Tavon being the strong willed one and Taron being the quiet one.

  Tavon was always evil and following behind our father and Taron would always disagree, but hardly ever verbally. He always just took the punches and kept on moving. Knowing that had me thinking that maybe I should've heard him out and gotten the full story on why he took the money, why the feds were after him, and why he was working with Donald of all people.

  I pulled up the text message that he sent and read it:

  Taron: Yo' guess u still ain't fuckin' wit me bruh. When u ready to hear what's good. I'm out and stayin at Toya's. Love ya lil bro.

  I tossed the cell phone to the side and didn't think anything further into Taron's text. I would deal with it later, but for now I had to get all else situated so I could get back in the streets and recover this fuckin' loss that Rozalyn caused. I

  t wasn't like it was gonna hurt me, but at the end of the day I loved money and each dollar I added to my riches was that much more special.

  ***

  “Who is it?” Black yelled from the other side of the door.

  “Open the door!” I yelled back as I clenched my fist by my side.

  Soon as that nigga pulled the door open, I pulled back and knocked the shit out of him. He grabbed at his jaw and staggered backwards. Before he could recover, I pounced on him and began throwing blows at him. Left and Right. Left and Right. Each punch connected with his face until he threw his foot up and kicked me off of him.

  He quickly jumped up from the floor and bolted towards me. I swung on him but missed when he wrapped his arms around the lower half of my body and knocked me to the ground.

  This time I was on the bottom and receiving the blows. He punched me three times, and I blocked his last attempt before I tossed him off of me. He got up and stood to his feet and backed away from me with confusion all his eyes. I was mad as fuck, and since I wouldn’t dare take my anger out on Rozalyn, I took it out on him.

  “What the fuck is wrong with you bruh?” Black asked as he rubbed the blood from his face with his shirt.

  “Nigga, you let Rozalyn transport them fuckin’ bricks like that. What the fuck was you thinking? You supposed to look out for my fam. You the only person I got that’s supposed to have my fuckin’ back!” I spat and stood up to my feet.

  I was out of shape. That small ass fight had me huffing and puffing when normally I could go round for round with a dude without breaking a sweat. First thing first was for me to get in the gym and get my body back to normal.

  “Rico said that if I came anywhere near his shit that he was going to kill your whole damn family. He said he didn’t know me and only trusted Rozalyn. I helped her pack the shit in the car and told her to take the kids with her so she wouldn’t bring any attention her way. I told her not to worry about it and let me handle Rico, but she insisted on doing it her way. It wasn’t shit I could do.”

  “Nigga, she was out here moving the weight by herself. That bitch ass muthafucka’ Jamir got her for my shit.”

  “Rozalyn didn’t say nothing about moving no weight, Tae. She said she was gonna take him his shit back so he could get off her back. I asked her how everything went, and she said it was cool and that she paid Rico his money. Then told me not to call her anymore. She was mad at me about the way I handled your situation.”

  “Jamir fucked her. Aye, I want that muthafucka dead by sun up ya’ feel me. Take that heat his way—his punk ass brother and then kill his rat ass baby mama. Fuck the baby!” I yelled and walked out of the house.

  I spit blood out of my mouth and onto the concrete and headed back to my car. Soon as I got in, I sent a text to my accountant to have him set me up a flight to Miami for as soon as possible. I was on my way to see Rico.

  ***

  Soon as I got my flight information, I headed straight to the airport without packing shit or telling anyone that I was leaving. I didn't even tell Rico that I was coming to see him and just showed up at his house unannounced the following morning.

  I know I had to look bad as fuck considering I had yet to stop at the barber or picked up some presentable clothes. I didn't give two fucks though. I hoped I looked like a crazed ass barbaric black nigga.

  I pressed down on the doorbell and waited for someone to come to the door. Moments later, a short, middle-aged Hispanic woman opened the door and rubbed her hands on her apron. She smiled at me and quickly looked me over before looking into my face.

  "Where is Rico?" I asked her.

  "How can I help you, sir?" she asked if I hadn't already told her what I wanted.

  "Rico? Where is he?" I asked again.

  She closed the door in my face and walked away. I stepped back away from the door and looked around Rico's huge estate. There were guards all around, and I knew that Rico knew that I was here even if I hadn't called him beforehand.

  I remembered him mentioning to me that he knew when someone was coming a few miles before they even made it to his home. He had it set up that way in case the authorities ever came looking for him he would have time to escape. Having me waiting out here was his way of letting me know that he was in control. I would let him have that for now.

  Rico, says that you and he no longer have business together," one of Rico's workers said after opening the door. I frowned at him.

  Rico was a grown ass man, and if he had something he wanted to say to me, then he needed to do that shit to my face. All that involving others in our business was a no go with me. I didn't speak to his wife when I had an issue with him and he damn sure wasn't going to get away with speaking with mine. I didn't give a fuck what kind of state I was in. The wife was off limits.

  I pushed my way past the doorman and walked around Rico's house looking for him. I kept glancing over my shoulder making sure Rico's worker didn't try no bullshit as I went from room to room in my search.

  After I made it down the long hall of bedrooms, I heard voices coming from outside of the house and knew that he had to be chilling out by his pool. I turned around and headed towards that way and walked out the backdoor. Rico was laid back with his hands tucked behind his head while in a lounge chair under a big gazebo. I walked straight over to him and stood over him. I noticed how he pretended as if I wasn't there.

  "You can't be a man and talk to me yourself," I said to him as I folded my arms over my chest staring at him idly.

  Rico cleared his throat and sat up in the lounge chair. He looked up at me and sighed. I could see the look of shock that plastered his face and knew that he felt that I was about to do something to him. As much as I wanted to, I wasn't that damn stupid. I knew that the moment I tried my hand with him, I would have a swarm of bullets thrown at me and would never make it out of here alive. I only wanted to speak with him and let him know how I feel and depending on what he said would determine if I came for his ass at a later date.

  "Tamar, I honestly never expected to see you again. What can I help you with?" Rico looked around and motioned for one of his workers to come to him. He stood up from his seat and stood face to face with me. He looked me over and then balanced his eyes with mine.

  "Why the fuck you come at my wife with that bullshit, Rico? Is that how we do shit now?"

  "You owed me and someone had to pay. I never expected you to recover honestly, and the only thing that had been on my mind was collecting my loss however I had to."

  "I don't give a fuck what you thought. You had no business with my wife. Your business was with me and until then you should've never came near her or my kids!"

  "Maybe you're right, but it was only business and never
anything personal."

  "That's how we do business though, Rico? I wouldn't in my right mind think it was okay to approach your wife on some business. You was out of line for that shit for real."

  "Please accept my deepest and sincere apologies Tamar. I would never hurt that pretty little wife of yours. She's just too sexy for that," Rico said with a smirk.

  I bit the inside of my jaw to contain the rage I was feeling. Rico was trying to get under my skin. He knew me all too well and knew that one thing I didn't play about was my family.

  I felt like he wanted me to react in a way that would cause his men to react. I nodded my head and stepped back from Rico.

  "None of that matters anymore Tamar. Imran and his uncles have picked up your slack, and you and I no longer have business together. It was great for the short time that it lasted, but you are excused. Please do not come to my home again."

  I took in everything that Rico had just said to me and drew in a deep breath. This was news that I didn't want to hear. This news meant that I had nothing to fall back on any longer. With Dmitri's death, I lost the connect that I had through him, and his father and the only other person with product even as close to what they had; was Rico.

  Without access to the plug that Rico was giving me, I might as well throw in the fucking towel 'cause there was no way I was fucking with anything that was less than what I was used to. Everybody knew when they dealt me that I had the best shit that money could buy, and I kept my prices playa knowing that my clientele would always come through and fuck with me.

  "Oh, it's like that? You think they gonna get you as much money as you could've gotten with me?" I asked obviously in my fucking feelings.

  "Who knows? Promises made by you were never made good on. Now like I said, you are excused. Get the fuck out of my house and never come back. Oh and tell Rozalyn that I'm sorry that I couldn't make time for that week trip in Jamaica with her.

  Sure wish I could've. She was willing to do whatever she had to do to pay that debt for you, but I was too busy at the time. I would've loved to have spent a week with her sexy—"

  Before I knew it, I snapped and popped Rico in his mouth. He went flailing backwards where he fell into the pool and made a huge splash as he hit the water. I quickly held my hands up and backed away knowing a crew of goons were headed my way.

  I could feel the heat of the lasers on the back of my neck as I headed away from Rico. Fuck that nigga man. I had enough wealth to live off of for the rest of my life. I didn't need Rico or anyone else for that matter. As much shit as I've gone through in this game; life always on the line, disrespect, and disloyalty by those closest to me, maybe it was time for me to just walk away.

  This last time had spoken volumes to me. I was too close to not ever coming back and that alone told me that what Rico was doing was another sign for me to lay it all down. Fuck this shit. I was done.

  Chapter 12

  Rozalyn

  Please forgive me

  Please forgive me- I know not what I do.

  Please forgive me-I can't stop lovin' you

  Don't deny me, this pain I'm going through…

  Please forgive me if I need you like I do

  ~Brian Adams~

  I had halfway thought that after this last ordeal that Tamar had gone through that he would want to spend more time with his family, but I was wrong. Days had gone by since we had that argument in our kitchen, and I hadn't seen or heard from him since. I knew that he was mad at me although he had no right to be.

  Whenever he was angry, he would intentionally stay away and ignore me playing childish ass games that always put a fraction into our relationship. I stood by the fact that I did what I felt I had to do.

  At the least, Tamar should've given me credit for taking care of business while he was down whether I fucked it up or not. I admit that maybe I should've gotten a lesson on what I was doing before jumping head first into it, but I only wanted to make sure that the kids and me were okay and that Tamar had nothing to worry about when he came home.

  He should be praising me and thanking me for attempting to make things right even if I had made it worse. I had been so stressed and so worried about him. All I wanted was for my husband to return home and for us to move on with life and be happy for a change without any resistance and interference.

  Unfortunately, I was back in a place that was all too familiar; sad, lonely, and miserable all the fucking time.

  It seemed like this was my life and that it was never going to get any better than this. I guess I might as well enjoy it. I might as well be happy that I have everything that a once poor girl could ever ask for.

  I had a roof over my head, a beautiful house, beautiful children, and a promising career ahead of me. At the end of the day, I guess it didn't matter that I didn’t have the one thing that most women looked for; love and happiness.

  Sighing, I closed the door to the kids' room and headed down the stairs, picking up toys along the way. I really wanted to call Tamar once more, but knew that it was useless. I had called and texted him so many times over the past few days that it was almost stalkerish.

  Each call went unanswered, and each text was left with no response. Usually with time, he would come around and act like nothing happened, but I wasn't so sure this time. Something told me this time was different.

  I don't know if it was when I stared into his eyes the night he returned home, and saw coldness or if it was just my gut telling me that this was the end. All I knew was that this time didn't feel like any of the other instances when we fought. Tamar seemed like he was his old self when I stared into his soul that night.

  He seemed like the same guy that would beat the shit out of me and leave me in a puddle of my own blood. He had not long ago softened his heart and just like that it was as hard as a brick again.

  I walked outside into the sunroom located at the back of the house and took a seat next to the Jacuzzi. I turned the bubbles on and turned the knob to heat the temperature of the water. I stuffed my hands down into my bag and pulled out a sack of weed and a cigar and began to roll up while letting my mind shuffle my thoughts around.

  The room intensely heated and I pulled my shirt over my head, easing down into the bubbling water and then lit the blunt that I rolled. I inhaled deeply and relaxed my head on the edge of the tub. This water felt so damn good and that along with the weed had me feeling orgasmic.

  The moment I finally felt free and was able to take my mind off the bullshit and madness, my phone vibrated behind me. I let out a deep breath and grabbed the phone, seeing that Tamar had finally responded to me.

  Eager to see what he said, I rushed to open the text message and my mouth dropped in surprise. I shook my head as I read Tamar's response and did my best to hold back tears.

  Tamar: Don't know if I want us no more. No, I don't want us no more. Everything is all fucked up right now. You know you'll always be taken care of though. Believe that.

  I couldn't believe that he was this angry with me that he no longer wanted "us". It was a simple mistake that I made thinking that I was helping. Couldn't he understand that? Just looking at this text message crushed me in more ways than I could have ever imagined.

  Although I knew it was coming, I had hoped that I was wrong. I had been without Tamar long enough and didn't want to go another minute or another day, yet he was saying I would have to go on without him forever. This just can't be real.

  This shit was just sickening to me. Everything I'd gone through over the years seemed like it was for nothing. All the tragic times I've experienced, the mistakes I made, the mistakes I forgave, and the lies we both told—was all for nothing.

  What good was any of it if we still couldn't bring it together in the end? I know that I can have any man that I want, but the fact that the only man I ever wanted was Tamar meant absolutely nothing to him.

  It was just too easy for him to drop me when shit got tough. He consistently ran when there was a fire instead of staying
around to help put it out. I wanted to give up, let go, and move on, but I loved him too much to do that.

  Me: What does that mean? Don't want us anymore? I only tried to help. I love you too much to let you go. I pressed send on the phone and then sat it down as I fell back inside of the Jacuzzi.

  I held my breath as I waited for Tamar's reply to me. I prayed that he wouldn't end things like this. I wanted him to come home so that we could talk about it and hopefully fix it. He needed to be here with us. He needed to look me in my face, look our kids in their faces and tell us that this wasn't what he wanted. This was the coward's way; the route he always chose to take.

  "Hello!" I snatched the phone up, the moment it rung.

  It was him on the other end. He was tense. His breathing told me that. I could also tell by how quiet he was that he also was aggravated.

  "Tae, babe I'm sorry for fucking up your money but I promise that I will do whatever I need to do to replace every penny. I made a mistake, but I only thought I was helping. I thought I was doing what was right to save our family."

  "I thought that I would be cool with not being in this life no more, but every time I tried to leave it alone before, I always found myself right back in it. I can't lie; I'm addicted to this shit. I love the power more than I love the money. I could've quit years ago and been good, but I love this shit too much to walk away right now."

  "Okay, well don't walk away. Stay in it if that's what you want, but please don't walk away from your family. Tamar we've been through too much and you promised me this time we were gonna—"

  "I ain't got no muthafuckin' choice but to walk away! You fucked that up when you gave my shit away to that nigga Jamir and then you made a way for another nigga to come in take my fuckin' place!

  I'm back on the fuckin' bottom because of this shit! You let niggas into my business…you gave them my fuckin' spot, Rozalyn! I worked too muthafuckin' hard for this shit and you just gave it the fuck away!