Incandescent

by River Savage

  “Oh, good, you’re awake.” He walks up to where I’m lying on the hard cold floor. I look around; we must be in a shed.

  “What the fuck do you want, Zane?” I ask, the wheeze of my chest burns after each word spoken. Even though he has the upper hand, I’m not going down without a fight.

  Zane’s rough fingers clutch my chin, forcing me to look up at him. “Oh, Kadence, see what happens when you hang with biker scum? You start speaking like biker scum.” He shakes his head like a father disappointed in his daughter.

  I shake my head out of his grasp, the movement sending an excruciating pain down the left side of my body. His hand reaches out, fisting my loose hair, bringing me up in one forceful jerk. I scream at the sting of my head and the shooting pain through my chest, my lungs struggling to seize some air. Bile surges up my throat at the sheer pain. Forcing it down, I tell myself not to break. How could he be doing this? You think you know someone, think you love them... I shared my bed for three years with this man, shared my dreams, my body, my life, but I don’t know him at all.

  “I want your boyfriend out of the picture, baby.”

  “Don’t call me that.”

  “Why? You used to love it. Loved it when I was fucking you hard. Maybe we could go another round, for old time’s sake.”

  I whimper at the thought, knowing he probably will, but I would rather die than have him inside of me.

  “Don’t fucking touch her, asshole,” Holly yells out.

  “Don’t worry, Holly. You can watch, then you’ll be next.”

  “Don’t,” I plead with him. “You can have me, but please don’t touch her,” I say, giving myself to him. I couldn’t bear to know he touched her. Fuck, this situation is just getting worse. I don’t know how we are going to get out of it.

  “Don’t sound so disgusted by it, Kadence. I’ll make sure you enjoy it.”

  “You’re a piece of shit, asshole,” I say, trying to calm my panic. I know I shouldn’t be goading him, but disgust courses through me, and I can’t hold my tongue. I won’t allow him to break me.

  “You’re right, babe,” he agrees, a smile now replacing his disappointed scowl. He looks over to where Holly sits up against the wall. The same guy she fought with earlier stands above her, a gun pointed at her head.

  “Zane, this has nothing to do with Holly.” I try to hide the fear in my voice, but think I fail when he looks back at me.

  “Oh, I know.” He smiles his evil smile. “This is all about you and that asshole you’ve been seeing. He needs to be gone and what better way to make him listen.”

  “This won’t change anything, Zane. He’ll still fight you every step of the way,” I try to get him to see. “Hurting me or killing me won’t get him to step down.”

  “See, that’s where you’re wrong. I set it up. Make it look like that the Mayhems did this and all I’ll have to do is sit back and watch the fucking show.” He laughs like he has completely lost his mind.

  “You’re crazy,” I tell him, knowing there is no way we are getting out of this; the man has gone nuts.

  “I’ll tell you what’s crazy. Gunner can’t fucking get his trade in this shit town ‘cause your fucking boyfriend has some sort of truce. Fuck that. Fuck the truce. We’ve been trying for years to get a foot up on him, and our luck changed when your fucking dumbass started sucking his cock,” he sneers. “Tell me, Kadence. Do you like the way he fucks you?”

  I don’t answer his question, afraid of the outcome, afraid of his reaction.

  “ANSWER ME, YOU WHORE!” he screams, striking me across the face with his gun again. The black stars are back, and I fight desperately to push them away. I can’t pass out again. I can’t leave Holly alone.

  “Yes, Zane,” I answer, looking him straight in the eye. He nods, turning his body toward Holly's direction. The loud bang rings in my ears, my eyes glued to Holly’s form in front of me, red blood seeping from the bullet hole in her stomach. Her dazed stare looks back at me.

  “Holly!” I scream, trying to stand. Oh, God, Holly. I try to move to her, to break free. Oh, God, no, no, no.

  “Don’t, Kadence, or she gets one in the head.” Zane forces me back to my knees.

  I try to fight the internal battle of wanting to fight, but his grip is painfully tight in my hair.

  “I hate you,” I spit out past the tears falling, knowing Holly is so close to me, yet I can’t get to her. He just shot her. What’s going to happen to me?

  “Oh, Kadence, I hate you too. Didn’t you know? That’s why I left you in the house to burn,” he confesses, smiling down at me. I cry harder as the sounds of Holly’s gasps come from the side.

  “Which is why I can’t wait to end this bullshit once and for all.” I don’t see the movement in Zane’s hand until a small black barrel stares at me two inches from my face. I briefly see the outline of his finger, lightly touching the trigger. The darkness of that small black hole drags my eyes away. I want to fight him, reach up, and push it out of his hands so I can go to Holly.

  “Don’t even think about it, Kadence,” he warns like he can see my thoughts.

  Everything in the small space around me fades; my best friend lying shot next to me, the pain in my chest gone. Everything stops for a moment. My eyes sting, begging me to blink, but for the life of me, I’m stuck, fascinated by the hollow shape staring back at me.

  Memories of my mom and dad flash before me like a playback on an old movie reel. Holly and I on our first day of college, the day Zane got down on one knee and asked me to be his wife, the fire that changed my life. Each significant moment plays like a movie before my eyes, then fades fast when Nix’s voice breaks through. His gravelly voice, telling me to get on his damn bike. Z’s smiling face is staring at me as I hold on to his dad’s hand.

  The small black hole moves forward, the coldness of the metal meeting my forehead. I close my eyes, willing to see Nix and Z again, my mind knowing that they are the last people I want to see. I don’t hear the words coming from Zane. They bleed into each other. I focus solely on remembering the touch of Nix’s hands, the taste of his lips.

  I’m going to die, and I’m never going to see him again.

  My breathing comes back, dragging and forcing air into my lungs, the encompassing pain pulling me from the haze. A bone-chilling roar, followed by a loud thud has me twisting away. A force like no other pushes me down, and a heaviness falls over me. Before my back hits the solid ground, the darkness takes me.

  Chapter Twenty-Six

  Nix

  “Tell me you got a fuckin’ hit on him,” I roar down my cell. The pain in my chest feels akin to someone slamming into me, reaching in and tearing me apart. I don’t know what will kill me first: the blinding rage that’s searing through my heart or the paralyzing fear that she’s been hurt. The fury that’s building inside of me shows no signs of calming anytime soon.

  I got a call an hour ago. The last thing I ever expected to hear was that Gunner and his men took Kadence and Holly. I’m seething, and I’m trying to remind myself to stay levelheaded, but the unknown is worse than the truth. He could be doing who knows what to her and I’m still fucking an hour away helpless. Sy got the call from Holly’s cell, the muffled sound of a struggle, and then Holly trying to relay what was happening in the back of the van. He lost contact with her five minutes ago, and every second that's ticked by is the second that I’m left wondering in the dark.

  Nothing can happen to her. Nothing. It will kill me.

  “Mayhems are on board and putting a recon team together as we speak. We’ve narrowed it down to an old farmhouse an hour away. Jesse and I are on our way now.” Sy sounds calm and collected, but I detect the controlled anger he’s keeping at bay. Brooks was taken off guard when he was knocked over the head waiting for Kadence and Holly, and now Zane has her. I shouldn’t have thought for a second leaving her was smart. My head messed up with Z and Addison’s shit, I left Kadence vulnerable and open to an attack. I fucking knew Zane would pu
ll this shit. He’s so far up Gunner’s ass I’m not surprised when he found out Kadence was dating the enemy, he moved in and took his play. Only now he’s gone too far. I don’t give a fuck about what side of the law the MC lives on; the motherfucker is dead.

  “Keep me posted, and Sy?”

  “Yeah, boss, you don’t have to tell me.” He cuts me off before I say it. I know he’s feelin’ me. I know I’m not gonna get back in time. It’s on Sy, Jesse and the Warriors of Mayhem. I just pray the fuckers pull through for us. I want the asshole fucking dead. I survived losing my mom. I’m not sure if I’ll survive losing Kadence.

  ***

  I watch the fluorescent light flicker above me, the buzzing sounds replacing the bright light, before switching back into the full light only to repeat all over again. I look around at my family and my friends, all gathered in the waiting room by my side. My mind won’t still, racing through thought after thought.

  How much fucking longer?

  Sy stands near the double doors, his back against the wall. Blood matter covers the front of his shirt and cut. He hasn’t spoken a word to me since going over the details when I first made it to the hospital. He’s fighting some serious rage behind his eyes. I didn’t push him; the tension rolling off him is telling me he’s about to snap.

  Brooks and Jesse sit watching the muted TV. After only just leaving the emergency room himself with ten stiches at the back of the head, I told Brooks to go home, but he still refuses. He won’t leave until he knows they are okay.

  Jesse’s leg bounces up and down, impatient to hear the news. He filled me in on what Sy couldn’t say. After receiving the call that the Warriors of Mayhem had found where the girls were being held, they floored it to meet them. After T and his boys took out the two assholes guarding the perimeter, Sy took Zane, while Jesse took out the other fuckhead holding Holly. I know he is dealing with some serious shit over there, probably replaying the fact he just killed another person, but I don’t doubt he doesn’t regret it. The asshole had it coming, and knowing that Holly is fighting for her life, we all know those assholes deserve more.

  I look over to where Beau sits on the one side of Z, with my pops on the other.

  “Will Kadence be okay?” Z asks when my eyes go to him. I don’t miss the stagger in his question, my strong boy trying to hold it together. I told Pops to stay behind, but the old bastard didn’t listen. I’m glad he’s here. After spending the last three nights with him, he’s come to know Kadence through me constantly talking about her. I know our relationship was strained after losing Mom, but after he turned his patch in and allowed the club repair, we were able to build it back. I don’t get to see him as often as I like now that he lives out at the lake house still mourning my mom. Z and I were on our last night away, both impatient to get home to Kadence. The hilarious yet smart-ass shit she pulls with me has become the highlight of my day. The way she’s shown nothing but compassion to my son, nurturing him through the fallout with his mom, only makes me fall in love with her more.

  While having Kadence around us has been healing for Z, I needed to be able to make sure he wasn’t just okay because of her, because of us. I wanted to be right with him. In order to do that, I had to do it away from Kadence. She consumes me and takes all my attention. It’s like my body is drawn to hers. Getting away for a few nights helped me separate myself from that and focus solely on Z. We talked through everything that was concerning me; where his head was at and where we are going from here. I wanted to make sure Z was okay with being with me full time, and see how he was handling the thought of not having his mom in his life. He seems to be accepting it for what it is, knowing it’s not his fault. I can only hope that Addison doesn’t fight me on custody.

  A large bang pulls me from my thoughts. Looking up I see an older man slam his fist down on the nurses’ station. A small petite woman tries to calm him, her dark hair pulled back from her face. Her features are strikingly similar to Kadence's. Shit, these are her parents.

  It’s not how I expected to meet them, especially here tonight. The small woman ushers the larger man to the waiting chairs, when the nurse just shakes her head no. I'm not sure what to do in this situation. Should I go over there? Introduce myself to them? I’m not even sure she’s told them about me. Hell, I only told Pops about her this week. My decision is made for me when the doctor walks out through the doors. Sy pushes off the wall coming forward to meet the older man. “Kadence Turner’s family?” he calls out. I look to the older couple as we both walk to the waiting doctor.

  “Who are you?” the old man questions, looking around us as all the brothers move in. His eyes zero in on me.

  “Nix,” I tell him, holding my hand out to him. He looks at it, not sure if he should trust me.

  “You with my daughter when her asshole ex hurt her?”

  “No sir, but we sure as hell made sure the asshole paid." The burning rage builds back up again, thoughts of what Sy told me he witnessed fill my head. If Sy hadn’t been there, I don’t want to think about what would have happened to her. The old man holds my gaze, nodding slightly before taking my hand and shaking it tightly.

  “How is she, Doc?” He turns his attention back to the Doctor.

  “Well, Miss Turner suffered a broken rib which caused a traumatic pneumothorax.”

  "What the hell does that mean?" I bark out, interrupting him and thinking the worst. I feel one of my brothers grab my shoulder, trying to calm me. I don’t want to be calm. I wanna fucking see her.

  "In layman's terms, a collapsed lung. We've had to drain some of the excess air and now we are just monitoring to make sure that she doesn’t need surgery.

  "Surgery?" I snap again, fear now replacing my anger.

  "Will she be okay?" her mom softly asks beside me, while reaching out for my hand. I don’t know what to do, so I just hold it in mine. The move nearly floors me, but at the same time comforts me.

  "She will be, but she will need to stay in for a few nights for observation, just to make sure that lung doesn't collapse again.”

  "Okay," Mr. Turner nods, taking in the news while I quietly shake in rage.

  "She also suffered an injury with her larynx. It will cause some trouble swallowing for the next day or two and her voice will be hoarse, but I must warn you, the marks on her neck are somewhat confronting. She was very lucky. Things could have been a lot worse,” he adds, noting something down on his clipboard as his pager beeps from his pocket.

  “Can we see her?” I ask, my body humming in need to see her with my own eyes, to touch her with my hands.

  “She’s still in recovery, but will be up in her room shortly. A nurse will come down to get you,” he informs us before walking back through the same doors he came out of. Kadence’s mother squeezes my hand once, and then lets go, visibly relaxing next to her husband

  Her father nods at me and directs his wife over to the waiting chairs.

  “Pops, I’m gonna need you to take Z home,” I say, coming to sit next to him.

  “Dad, I wanna see Kadence,” Z interrupts.

  “I know you do, bud, but she is gonna be real tired. We can come back in the morning to see her.” He looks like he wants to argue, but he doesn’t. “I’ll let her know you wanted to see her, okay?” He nods, satisfied for now.

  “Nix?” Mrs. Turner comes to sit next to me.

  “Yeah?” I reply. I honestly don’t know what to do in these sorts of situations. The last time I did a ‘meet the parents,' I was eighteen and didn’t give a fuck if they liked me or not.

  “Kadence was only telling me about you this afternoon,” she smiles a sad smile. “I’m sorry we had to meet like this.”

  “Me too,” I agree, wishing Kadence was here for the first meet. I feel like this is some important shit and I’m gonna mess it up.

  “Nix?” a nurse calls from the double doors.

  “Here.” I stand at my name being called.

  “Kadence is asking for you.” The small blonde holds
the door open, waiting for me to follow her. I smile back at Kadence’s mom. I feel like I should let them go in before me, let them see their daughter, but the urge isn’t strong enough. I just need to see her.

  “I’ll let her know you’re here,” I tell them as Mr. Turner comes to stand by his wife's side.

  “Fuck that, I’m goin’ in boy.” Mr. Turner booms, shaking his head.

  “Frank,” his wife scolds him, slapping his arm. Jesus, you can see where Kadence gets her quirks.

  “Oh, please, Jolene. If he’s any type of man, he’d understand my need to see my girl.” I nod, knowing he’s right. No fucking way would I not want to see my daughter after someone attacked her.

  “Of course,” I agree, not wanting to piss her father off, but if the nurse says one at a time, I’m not gonna fucking stay back. Telling the guys I’ll be back, we walk through the doors, passing room after room. My fingers itch to touch her soft skin, to see for myself that she is okay.

  The nurse stops us at the door, letting us walk past her into the darkened room.

  “Oh, baby girl.” Frank's rough voice echoes around the room.

  My eyes find hers as I walk through the door. A low guttural sound erupts from deep within, building each second my eyes run over her messed-up face.

  “I wish I got to fuckin’ kill him,” I say, coming to stand on the opposite side to where her parents stand. Her eyes haven’t left mine since they locked on to me.

  “He’s dead?” she asks. Her voice doesn't sound like hers. I nod and watch her body relax. I can’t speak. I can’t even touch her. I’m stuck, my body vibrating with an untapped rage.

  “Oh, honey,” her mom leans down closer and lightly brushes some hair off her forehead. Her black eye is now fully visible. My pulse quickens in response.

  “I’m okay, Mom,” she rasps. The tiny movement sends pain across her face. I follow my natural instinct to reach out and grasp her small hand in mine. Her hand responds, squeezing me back.

  Standing closer to her, I can see the busted lip held together by a small stitch. Her delicate neck bruised from the asshole's hands. Seeing her lying in bed with her beautiful face battered and the thumbprint shaped bruises covering her neck, I realize I could have just as easily lost her.