Incandescent

by River Savage

  “How’s Holly?” she asks.

  “Still in surgery,” I answer. It doesn’t look good for Holly, but I don’t want to tell her that. She looks so lost, lying there, not the strong woman, I know.

  “Whatever you got goin’ on in your head, get it out.” I squeeze her hand. I can see the guilt she holds playing out all over her face.

  “It’s my fault, Nix,” she cries softly, a tear falling. I knew she would take it on her shoulders, knew she would feel guilty.

  “It’s not your fault.” I pull the chair up beside the bed. “It was that asshole’s, so quit your bullshit blame game, or I’m gonna have to take you over my knee, woman,” I finish quietly.

  “Oh, I like him,” her mom giggles.

  Her dad growls

  Obviously, I wasn’t so quiet.

  “Geez, Nix, my parents are in the same room,” she states the obvious, shaking her head, wincing at the movement.

  “I don’t give a shit. I'm not sittin’ here watchin’ you go inside your head over some seriously fucked-up shit your ex pulled. The fucker is lucky Sy put the bullet in him ‘cause I would have to kill him with my bare hands for layin’ a finger on you,” I tell her.

  “Calm down, Nix,” she says.

  “Kadence, I don’t think you get just how crazy I have been waitin’ to see you. Knowin’ that asshole had you for two hours, doing who knows what, who knows where... Jesus, Kadence, I can’t even comprehend the heaviness in my heart right now.”

  “Well then, I’m glad he’s dead. You wouldn’t be any good to me if you were in jail,” she states, staring back at me. Even in a hospital bed, the woman wants to argue with me, test me. I hold her gaze, our eyes locked in a stare off, but she breaks it, looking over at her mom.

  “You didn’t have to come, guys.”

  “Like hell we didn’t,” her dad barks out beside her mom. I smile. I’m beginning to like the guy. He speaks my language.

  “Of course we did, Kadence. Your father was racing to the car before I even hung up the call from the hospital. Can we get you anything while we’re here?” She begins fussing over her. My heart aches watching it, remembering my mom being the same.

  “I’m good, Mom, but you should get some rest. It's the middle of the night.”

  “I know, honey. We just wanted to see you. Make sure you’re all right. We’ll be back first thing. If you want to do up a list, we can go pick up your stuff and take it back to our house, for when you’re ready to come home.”

  “That won't be necessary,” I tell them straight up. They all look over to me,

  “Nix,” Kadence begins before I cut her off.

  “No, Kadence, this one thing I’m not budgin’ on. You’re stayin’ with me. Respect to your mom and dad, babe, but you're with me; that makes you my responsibility. I look after what’s mine.”

  “Nix, I’m not a possession to claim. I can get Mom and Dad to look after me. You have Z.”

  “Like hell, you're not. You're my woman, one of the most important people in my life. You’re mine and it’s killin’ me seein’ you in this bed. I promise you, Kadence, this won't happen again. I’m not lettin’ you out of my sight.” She rolls her eyes and tries to hide her pleasure at me claiming her in front of her parents.

  “Quit sassin’ your man, darlin'. If he’s a good man, he’ll look after his woman,” her dad orders, looking over at me.

  “He is a good man, Daddy,” Kadence quietly replies, looking up at me.

  “I know, baby girl. I can already tell,” he agrees, leaning down to kiss her forehead.

  “I’m sorry, but your time is up.” The young nurse from earlier comes in checking Kadence’s chart.

  “We’ll be back tomorrow morning.” Her mom leans down kissing her, while her dad comes around to where I sit. I stand when he stops in front of me.

  “Good to meet you, Nix.” Offering me his hand, I take it in mine. He moves forward into my space, his voice lowered, “I don’t have to remind you that she’s my only girl, and we’ve already been through a world of pain. You mess with her, you’re messing with me.”

  “I wouldn’t expect anything less,” I tell him, looking him in the eye. I have no intention of messing with Kadence. This week has proven to me just how much I want her in my life. He nods, letting my hand go and stepping back.

  Mrs. Turner steps forward. Her small arms come around me. She stands at the same height as Kadence. “Look after her,” I hear her say quietly before she pulls back. It’s not a question, more a request, one I very much plan on doing. With a final goodbye, they leave us alone, following the nurse out.

  Leaning down, I gently kiss her over her eye. She holds on strong, the pain and anguish kept at bay until her parents leave the room. Her body slightly shakes the moment the door latches, unraveling in front of me.

  “I swear, Kadence, I'm nearly comin’ out of my skin seeing his marks on you and watchin’ you break.”

  “I’m sorry,” she cries harder, tying to wipe at her swollen face.

  “Hey, it’s okay. It’s gonna be fine," I tell her, wiping at her tears with a tissue.

  “Will you find out about Holly for me?” She looks up, concerned for her friend.

  “I will,” I promise, still holding onto her hand tightly. I want to climb into the bed with her, crawl inside of her, and take the pain she’s feeling away, but I know that I can’t. I can barely touch her without the fear of hurting her.

  “Z, Pops and the boys are in the waitin’ room,” I let her know. I want her to know Z is here for her; that all the boys are worried about her.

  “Z’s out there?” she says shocked while trying to sit up. “How was your time away? Is Z okay?” she fires off, and her response warms me. This woman owns my heart. Lying in a hospital bed, surviving what she just did, and she’s worrying about my son. Fuck, I love her.

  “He missed you,” I tell her the truth. “And quit tryin’ to move. You have a broken rib.”

  “He did?” she ignores my concern.

  I nod, smiling down at her. “Wanted to come home early so he could have you make him the lasagna dish you served him last week.”

  “I missed him too. I missed you both like crazy,” she whispers, looking unsure. She’s only saying what I’m thinking. As much as I needed to be away with Z, I still missed her, wished every night I could hold her in my arms.

  I reach out and run my finger along her busted lip. “I missed you, too. Missed you so fuckin’ bad.”

  She nods. A tear slips from her eye and I wipe it away with my thumb.

  “I need to say goodbye to Z and let Pops know I’m gonna stay. I'll be back,” I tell her.

  She protests, telling me there is no point because they won't let me stay.

  “Don’t care. I’ll sleep outside your door,” I state. “I’m not lettin’ you out of my sight, Kadence.” I won't. It's my promise. With Zane dead, who knows what Gunner will retaliate with. I don’t trust the fucker or anyone else for that matter.

  “Sir?” The young nurse interrupts, cutting Kadence off from arguing with me anymore. “You need to leave,” she insists.

  “Goin’ now and not ‘cause you told me to. Fair warnin’, I will be back shortly. I'm not leavin’ her side. You need to find whoever is responsible for that process and let them know.” Her eyes bug out, like she’s frightened by my voice or the tone of it. My deep rumble always helps to get my point across with fewer arguments.

  “Quit your bossiness, Nix. You’re scaring the poor girl,” Kadence calls over my shoulder.

  “Just givin’ the woman some warnin’. I’m coming back and I’m gonna be in this room,” I warn them, looking back and forth. The nurse nods, probably not sure she wants to argue with me. Kadence rolls her eyes; the action makes me smile and thankful she’s still here.

  Tonight could have gone a lot worse. The truth of that lays in the fate of Holly, right now still in surgery fighting for her life. In my opinion, Zane fucking Edwards got off way too easy. I’
m not sure a bullet in the head will ever make up for beating my woman, but Kadence is right; sitting in jail wouldn’t help her or Z. I know I made that vow five years ago to stay clean and keep on the correct side of the law, but if anyone so much as tries anything again, that promise will be broken.

  Chapter Twenty-Seven

  Kadence

  The dull ache in my side stirs me. The distinct smell of antiseptic burns my nostrils. The annoying beep of the machines beside me breaks through, bringing me out of sleep and back to my hospital room. The door pushes open and the same nurse who was here the night before last walks in.

  “Do you ever leave this hospital?” I ask, smiling at her. My voice is starting to feel slightly better, but still croaks on certain words. She shakes her head at me. Her blonde, short hair is tucked behind one ear showing off her cute face. The blues of her eyes shine brightly when they meet with mine.

  “Just started my third shift of a five-day roster,” she groans, and I feel her pain. I’m not sure who has it worse, me with a broken rib, or her dealing with patients and long shifts.

  “I don’t envy you,” I say as she comes to the end of the bed and picks up my chart.

  “How’s the pain?” she asks, taking notes down on the folder.

  “I feel a lot better today,” I tell her, trying to sit up with as little pain as possible.

  “Did Nix come back last night?” I ask, wondering where he is.

  “If you mean the sexy-as-sin man who has been demanding and overbearing since you got here? Then yes, he’s out in the waiting room.”

  “Oh, God, he doesn’t know when to stop,” I cry out. The insufferable man makes my heart stop, my mind go crazy and still manages to make me smile.

  “Going by that smile, I’d say you’re not bothered if he never stopped?”

  If she only knew.

  “I wouldn’t either,” she continues before I can answer her. “I just ran into him and a whole lot of male hotness. They nearly gave Jan, at the nurses’ station, a heart attack. All that leather is dangerous.”

  I smile at her description of the Knights Rebels. Dangerous is an understatement.

  “Have you heard any news about my friend?” I ask, hoping she has something more to tell me. No one is saying much. I know Holly just came out of her second surgery last night, but I can’t get a solid answer if she is going to survive. The thought that she might not live is tearing me up. I don’t think I will ever cope if she doesn’t pull through.

  “She’s going to be okay. She woke up in the middle of the night.” She delivers the news I’ve been so desperate to hear.

  Holly has had two surgeries in the last twenty-four hours. One to take out the bullet Zane put in her and the second to relieve a second bleed. She was rushed down last night for emergency surgery. If Sy and Jesse hadn’t come to save us when they did, I don’t think we would have survived.

  The crack and thud of the bullet going through Zane and his body landing on me were the last things I remember. It took me a few minutes to come to with Jesse kneeling over me. I tried to get to Holly, but the pain in my chest was too unbearable. I felt like I was drawing in razor blades. I just remember Holly’s body lying in a pool of her own blood across from me, Sy working her chest trying to make it start again.

  “Don’t you fucking die.” His words still ring in my ears as he yelled them repeatedly. The light and sounds of emergency services drowned out by those four words replaying over and over. “Don’t you fucking die.”

  I know Nix doesn’t want me to blame myself with what happened, but I can't help but feel responsible. Zane was my crazy ex. I forced her out that night and it all comes back to me.

  “You’re awake.” Nix’s voice coming from the door pulls me from my thoughts.

  “Hey,” I say, watching as he nods to the shy nurse as she leaves us alone.

  “I brought some people who wanted to see you,” Nix announces, moving aside to let Z, Jesse, Sy, Brooks, Beau and an older-looking man past. Oh, God, just seeing their faces, sends a runaway tear down my face.

  “Hey, sweetheart.” Jesse comes to me first, leaning down for a soft kiss to my cheek, wiping my tear with his thumb.

  “Don’t cry,” he shakes his head.

  I nod, trying so hard not to break down in front of them all. I know they have wanted to see me, but with the club on lockdown and all Nix’s attention on me, they’ve had to keep things running smoothly. In the short time that I’ve known these men, they've come to mean so much to me. Jesse helping me through my darkest hours after the fire. Brooks being the big brother I’ve always wanted. Sy, my savior, and Beau, well, Beau is still pissed about me sneaking out, but still.

  “Hey, Jesse," my voice croaks from the tears stuck in the back of my throat, causing Jesse to flinch.

  He moves back, allowing Brooks to approach next, his hand coming to mine squeezing it lightly.

  “Hey, doll, you doing okay?”

  “I’m good. How’s your head?”

  “It’s fine,” he dismisses my concern. “I’m so sorry,” he leans in and whispers.

  “Don’t,” I say, knowing he will be feeling bad for what happened. He holds my stare, his eyes fighting with wanting to argue, but doesn’t.

  Beau pulls up a chair next to me. He smiles slightly, his dark hair pulled back into a messy ponytail. “Still the prettiest thing I’ve seen,” he mutters, reaching out to grab my hand. Even though Beau and I started off on the wrong foot, I’ve come to see what a great guy he is. He’s loyal and fiercely protective of his club, but most of all, he’s Nix’s best friend. They have been through everything together.

  “Thanks, Beau.” He nods, his eyes no longer holding that calculating stare he likes to give me. “Am I forgiven?” I ask hopeful. I don’t think I can handle him acting indifferent to me, when I’m becoming so close to the rest of the guys.

  “Yeah, we’re cool, but if you pull that shit again, I will have to spank your ass.” I gulp down my gasp. He wouldn’t?

  “Watch it, brother,” Nix rumbles from the end of the bed, as Beau starts laughing, I don’t know where to look. I feel the heat of my blush break out over my cheeks, the men all looking at me. Shit. I focus my eyes on Z, who stands awkwardly at the end of the bed next to his dad.

  “Hey, Z,” I smile at him, reaching my hand out for his. He looks so unsure. His father nudges him forward, telling him he won't hurt me. He steps closer, slowly making his way to me. This little man has worked his way into my heart, and seeing him affected by what happened to me breaks me. He finally comes forward, close enough for me to touch. “It’s okay, Z. You can't hurt me,” I tell him. He takes my hand, coming to stand next to me. “How was the lake house?” I ask, trying to keep everything normal.

  “It was good. Dad, Pops and I did some fishing on the lake.”

  “Cool. You catch anything?” I continue asking questions, wanting him to be comfortable.

  “No,” he shakes his head. “Just Pops did. Are you okay?” He softly questions, his eyes filled with concern. His big heart is more worried about me than talking about his time away.

  This boy melts me.

  “I am now that you’re here,” I tell him and watch as the smile spreads across his face. “I missed you this week,” I confess, hoping he gets that I feel the same way as he does.

  His smile brightens more, filling me with light. “We missed you too. We were coming home early to see you. It didn't take too much to persuade Dad.” I laugh, the sound getting caught in my swollen throat. Beau reaches for my water, handing it to me to help soothe the burn. Z shows concern again. His smile now gone, worry lines currently replace it. All the guys’ faces are filled with anxiety, anger and even rage.

  “Hey, I promise I’m okay,” I tell them all, looking into each of their eyes. They don’t look convinced, their tight nods telling me they won't push. My eyes connect with the older man who I now recognize as Nix’s dad. He smiles then comes forward.

  “Hello, beautif
ul girl, hate seein’ you in this bed, but I’m glad I finally get to meet you. Between my son talking my ear off and Z telling me all about your baking, I was feeling a little left out.”

  I smile at his attempt to make me feel comfortable. “Thank you for looking after them, Mr. Knight.”

  “Call me Red, or Pops, but either way, please don’t call me Mr. Knight.” I laugh and nod my head. He pulls back to stand next to Sy against the wall.

  “Hey, Sy,” I awkwardly wave. He nods, and then looks over at Nix, a silent request that has him moving everyone out of the room. Before I get to say goodbye to them all, the nurse comes back in, topping up my drip. Jesse notices the nurse first and his cheeky persona comes out to play.

  “Can you escort me out, nurse?” He looks down at her chest, slowly moving his eyes to the rectangle nametag, “Nurse Belle?” He smiles his panty-dropping smile. I can see the shade of crimson that flashes down her face from the bed. The poor girl doesn’t know what’s hit her with the massive flirt. She shakes her head, letting him know she won’t before hightailing it out of there so fast, I wonder if she was even in here in the first place.

  “Play nice, Jesse,” I warn, as he follows closely behind her. He waves me off, nowhere near ready to play nice.

  Brooks and Beau go next, telling Nix they'll meet him later at the clubhouse. Z leans in and kisses my cheek, telling me to hurry up and come home. I promise I’ll try my hardest to get better and watch him leave with his Pops.

  “How was your sleep?” Nix takes Beau’s vacated seat next to me, holding my hand.

  “As good as one can with a broken rib,” I tell him. Looking across the room, I see Sy still standing to the side, quietly taking everything in.

  “How are you doing, Sy?”

  “Been better. Not as bad as you.” He winces like he just said the wrong thing.

  “Thank you,” I tell him, knowing it’s nowhere near enough.