The Change-Up

by Syd Parker

  She wasn’t sure how long she cried, but when she finished, her head was pounding. She glanced in the rear-view mirror and realized she looked as bad as she felt. She found a tissue and blew her nose. She thought briefly about turning the car around, before her sensibilities returned. She picked the safer option and shifted the car into drive. She checked the traffic and eased slowly back onto the road. “You are an idiot, Bellamy. What makes you think she even wants you anymore?”

  And rather than find out, she drove on. Bellamy wasn’t about to make a fool of herself, just because she had a little breakdown. But she did decide it was time to do some serious soul searching. If her crying fit had shown her one thing, it was that she deserved more. She knew it was up to her to figure out what that was and give herself the okay to go after it.

  Chapter Sixteen

  November 2014

  Bellamy carefully placed the turkey in the center of the table. She closed her eyes, feeling the warmth of the late autumn sun on her face. When she opened her eyes, she caught Sawyer watching her. “Great idea moving the party out here.”

  “It’s too beautiful to sit inside.” Sawyer ran to the patio door and pulled it open. She stood aside as Kevin wheeled out with a pumpkin pie on one leg and a pecan pie on the other. “I was going to grab the whipped cream, but the only spot left was…”

  “Good lord, honey.” Bellamy still wasn’t used to Kevin’s expanded sense of humor. She wondered where her quiet, well-behaved son had gone. “I have to get the cranberry sauce. I’ll get the whipped cream, too.”

  Sawyer grabbed one of the pies and set it on the end of the table, next to the one Kevin already put down. “Everything looks fantastic. Hard to believe we haven’t had a decent, home-cooked meal in months. Figure we may have to rethink this whole distance thing.”

  “What distance thing?” Bellamy shut the door behind her, cranberry sauce and whipped cream in tow.

  “We’re missing home-cooked meals more than we thought. We might want you to visit more often.”

  “Or at least send care packages with food.” Kevin smiled sheepishly. He was enjoying this new-found freedom. Not that his mom ever smothered him, but here he could come and go as he pleased, or at least as much as his body let him. He didn’t have to answer for a towel left on the floor, or the bed not being made, not that that happened very frequently. He saw the flash of hurt in his mother’s eyes. “You know it’s because my dorm is just too small for too many people.”

  “It’s fine, honey. I understand how it feels to have your first taste of freedom.” Bellamy picked up the knife and fork and held them out toward Sawyer. “Care to do the honors?”

  “Sure.” Sawyer took the utensils and prepared to attack the turkey.

  “Are you sure it’s okay we didn’t do your usual BBQ? I know the hamturdog is sacred in this house.”

  “Of course. The guys are excited about turkey. Besides, we have the pigs in a blanket. That covers the dog part.” Sawyer deftly cut the turkey, and stacked pieces of juicy meat on a platter, her knife skills much improved since last Thanksgiving. “Hey, Kev, wanna let the guys know it’s ready?”

  “Sure thing, Coach.” Kevin pulled the glass door open and yelled inside. This year only two of the guys joined them. Brandon Collins stepped outside, followed closely by Kevin’s best friend, Cody.

  Cody rubbed his palms together. “Looks great, Ms. C. I can’t remember the last time I had turkey with all the fixin’s. No offense, Coach.”

  “None taken.” Sawyer held up the plate of pigs in a blanket. “I couldn’t get away from our tradition completely. Dig in, guys.”

  Five minutes later, Sawyer and Bellamy eyed the table with barely contained amusement. It was a wreck. The three boys ransacked it like a summer tornado. Sawyer cocked her head. “Well, I guess it was a hit.”

  Bellamy grabbed a plate and eyed the leftover turkey, glad to see that they’d left her some breast meat. “I guess so. I’ll never understand the male appetite.” She quickly filled her plate with turkey breast, potatoes and gravy, green beans, and a small slice of cranberry sauce.

  “Breast girl, huh?” Sawyer’s eyebrows waggled suggestively as she grabbed the remaining turkey leg. “I prefer dark meat.” She bit into the leg, her eyes glued to Bellamy, hoping she didn’t miss Sawyer’s thinly-veiled attempt to get under Bellamy’s skin. When she saw Bellamy’s cheeks color slightly, she knew her words hit their mark. A smile played at the corners of her mouth as she piled everything but the kitchen sink on her plate.

  “Apparently, I was wrong.” Bellamy gestured toward Sawyer’s plate. “It’s not the male appetite. It’s the jock appetite.”

  “Hey, I resemble that remark.” Sawyer protested around a mouth full of food. She plopped down in a chair beside the pool. “Thank you again for doing all the cooking.”

  Bellamy joined Sawyer. “My pleasure. I love doing it. You don’t have to sit out here with me. You probably wanted to watch the game, too.”

  “Believe me, between you and a game, you’re my preference every time.”

  Bellamy’s face beamed. “You are mine, too.”

  Sawyer smiled, then turned her attention to her food, careful not to dwell on the innocent comments. She knew the feelings behind her choice differed from Bellamy’s, and she didn’t want to deceive herself into believing it was anything more than friendship for Bellamy. “It’s delicious. As much as it pains me to say this, it blows my hamturdog out of the water.”

  Bellamy warmed under the praise. She loved pleasing Sawyer, in the small ways she would let herself. She knew Sawyer never expected more than what they had now. In a way, it calmed her nerves, which were always overly sensitive in Sawyer’s presence. Despite her desire to remain only friends, there was always a small part of Bellamy that hoped Sawyer would pursue more. She relished the random, yet pointed comments, fraught with sexual innuendos. But they went no further than that. Sawyer had kept her promise not to be so open about her feelings. Bellamy wished it didn’t disappoint her as much as it did. “I tried a different recipe this year.”

  “Whatever you did, it’s the best turkey I’ve ever had.”

  “Rosemary. The key is rosemary.”

  “What is that song? Something about love grows where rosemary goes.”

  “Dating ourselves a bit, aren’t we?”

  Sawyer laughed. “It’s my dad’s fault. I grew up listening to everything seventies. You should see my dad’s vinyl collection. He’s got some really obscure albums.”

  “Does he still listen to them?”

  “More than you would think. It’s cute. He puts on a record to relax, but my mom always comes into the room and forces him up to dance.”

  “I like to dance.”

  Sawyer’s eyes registered surprise. “You do? How come I didn’t know that?”

  “The subject never came up.”

  “Huh. What do you know about that? I always tried, but I was no good at it.”

  “It’s easy. I could teach you.”

  Sawyer set her plate down and stood up. “Okay.”

  Bellamy shook her head. “I didn’t mean now.”

  “Why not?” Sawyer spread her arms and looked around. “It’s a beautiful day. We have nothing better to do. Come on.” Sawyer pulled her phone out of her pocket and found a Pandora channel. Soon the soft sounds of “Wonderful Tonight” by Eric Clapton filled the back yard. Sawyer bowed in front of Bellamy, extending a welcoming hand. “May I have this dance?”

  “You’re silly.” Bellamy shook her head from side-to-side again. “I’m not dancing out here.”

  “Please.” Sawyer’s eyes held Bellamy, silently compelling her to move.

  One look at Sawyer and Bellamy knew she could no longer refuse. She set her plate down. “Fine.” Her tone implied she was irritated. She was anything but irritated. Her skin hummed as her palm brushed against Sawyer’s. She followed her to a small opening near the end of the pool. She took Sawyer’s right hand and placed it on h
er waist then clasped Sawyer’s left hand in her right, holding it out to the side. She laid her left hand on Sawyer’s shoulder and took a step toward her. She started to sway slowly, getting the beat in her head. “We’ll do something easy. Basically, it’s step-touch with a bit of swaying. Start off with your right foot and step to the right. Follow with your left foot, step to the right and tap your foot. Then do the same thing going the opposite direction.”

  Sawyer wrapped her hand further around Bellamy’s waist. She tried to keep her breathing even, which was nearly impossible given the proximity of Bellamy’s body. Every time their breasts brushed together, a bolt of electricity shot through her body. She followed Bellamy’s lead, pleased that she was able to keep time. She could feel Bellamy’s hips sway against her palm. “This isn’t so bad.”

  “I told you.” Bellamy watched Sawyer’s face, inordinately pleased with the smile she saw there. She tried to ignore the lyrics as Eric Clapton crooned about his lover. She finally closed her eyes, barely registering the end of one song and the start of the next. Without realizing it, she closed the gap between them. Her arm slid around Sawyer’s neck, and her head rested naturally against Sawyer’s shoulder.

  Bellamy’s scent tickled Sawyer’s nostrils. She never imagined she would hold Bellamy this closely again. She assumed their one kiss would be the last time Bellamy allowed herself to be so close, but here she was, cradling Bellamy against her body. She never knew anything could feel as perfect as this. She felt Bellamy’s fingers caressing her neck. The simple gesture had blood pulsing between her legs. The only thought she could muster was good God. They danced this way for what seemed like forever. Bellamy’s fingers entwined in her hair, and her lips just brushing the nape of her neck. Sawyer believed she’d died and gone to heaven.

  “Mom?”

  Bellamy pulled away guiltily, the spell all but broken. “Kevin. It’s not what it looks like.”

  “It looks like you were dancing.”

  “Well, yes, that’s what it was. I was just teaching Sawyer to dance. She didn’t know how.”

  Kevin popped an olive in his mouth and gave his mother a weird look. She was certainly over-reacting. He was surprised to find them dancing, but it didn’t bother him. Who cared if two people danced? But Bellamy seemed to think it was the end of the world to have been caught doing something so scandalous. “So you were dancing. Big deal. Can we have dessert?”

  Bellamy looked at Kevin as though he were a big, green alien. She felt her heart finally stop hammering in her chest. She obviously worried way too much about how she and Sawyer looked wrapped in each other’s arms. Kevin hadn’t even batted an eye. Flustered, she sliced the pies and dished out pieces onto three plates. She added a healthy dollop of whipped cream to the slices.

  Kevin arranged them on his lap. “Thanks, Mom.” Kevin wheeled back inside, leaving his mother to deal with her issues.

  Bellamy watched him disappear, not seeing the huge grin on his face. She didn’t realize that seeing her let go with Sawyer made him happy. She turned back finally. “I’m sorry.”

  Sawyer ended the music. “No need to be.” She studied Bellamy’s face. She could see the remorse plain as day. “It’s just dancing, Bellamy. It’s not a big deal.”

  Bellamy opened her mouth to object, then snapped it shut. Not a big deal? Was I the only one present? My body is on fire. Not a big deal? Her heart sunk. Of course, it wasn’t a big deal to Sawyer. She’d moved on, as Bellamy requested. It was what she wanted, wasn’t it? Of course, it was.

  Sawyer watched Bellamy’s face. The influx of emotions confused her. Desire, elation, confusion, melancholy. She wished she could read Bellamy’s mind. She knew that would be the only way she would know what Bellamy was thinking. She waited for Bellamy to at least hint at it, but when only silence greeted her, Sawyer resigned herself to not knowing. “Why don’t you sit down? I’ll clean up.”

  “No, I can help.” Bellamy’s tone was harsher than she intended. She didn’t want to sit down. Sitting down meant thinking. She didn’t want to think. She didn’t want to dwell on how Sawyer made her feel, or how, apparently, it was completely one-sided now. “It will go faster with both of us.”

  Sawyer toyed with making another pie joke to lighten the mood, but she thought better of it. “True.” Without another word, she started gathering the food up. She shivered unexpectedly, missing the warmth they’d shared.

  Bellamy was right. It went much faster with the two of them. As they stood together washing dishes and drying them, Sawyer paused and shot Bellamy what she hoped was a completely innocent, yet grateful smile. “Thank you. I enjoyed my dance lesson.”

  “You’re welcome. You should be a hit with all the ladies now.” Bellamy forced herself to be cheery. Sawyer had done nothing to warrant her sour mood.

  “I only want to be a hit with one. I’m not into dating around.”

  The admission pleased Bellamy. Unless Sawyer had decided not to talk about her personal life, Bellamy was sure she wasn’t dating anyone currently. At least, not seriously. For some reason, Bellamy felt the need to dig for more. “We fit together nicely, don’t you think?”

  Sawyer’s hands stilled on the dishes as she tried to figure out what Bellamy’s was getting at. “Reckon we do.”

  Sawyer offered no more, and Bellamy let it go. She contented herself with just being in Sawyer’s presence.

  “I’m going to grab the dishes from the guys then we should be done. I have a bottle of 19 Crimes in the fridge. It’s my new favorite wine.”

  “Wait. You’ve been drinking wine?” Bellamy eyed Sawyer incredulously. “And you put a red in the fridge?”

  “Maybe.” Sawyer smiled sheepishly, still unaccustomed to wine etiquette, and armed with little ammunition to fight this argument. “I’ll give it a chance to breathe before we drink it. It will warm up enough.”

  “Ha! It will take eight hours to breathe, assuming it has any breath left after being in the fridge. It’s obvious, I haven’t trained you well enough.”

  “I’ll get it out of the fridge before I grab another load of dishes. It will be fine.” Sawyer dried her hands and laid the towel down, a guilty frown on her face. “Be right back.”

  When Sawyer returned, her hands were full. She unceremoniously dumped the dirty dishes in the sink, splashing the entire front of her shirt with dirty water. “Shit.” She stepped back and dabbed at the offending mess with a towel.

  Bellamy’s eyes were glued to Sawyer’s chest. She could see her nipples pressing through the wet material. God, it made her hot. “You’re all wet.”

  “It would seem so.” Sawyer glanced up in time to see Bellamy’s dark eyes on her chest. She could see the hunger in them, and it made her legs tremble. Unconsciously, she took a step closer, taunting Bellamy with her body.

  Bellamy gulped, the ache between her legs threatening to undo her. “You…you should go change. I’ll finish up.” Bellamy waited for Sawyer to leave, before bracing herself against the sink. It was her turn to think good God. Who has nipples that perfect? Her lips tingled with thoughts of pulling the hardened buds into her mouth. Bellamy shook her head, unsure how that thought escaped. By the time Sawyer returned, Bellamy somehow managed to compose herself. She still couldn’t look at Sawyer without blushing, but at least she wasn’t mentally undressing her anymore. “Where are your wine glasses?”

  Sawyer heard the tremor in Bellamy’s voice, and she silently gloated. She was thrilled to know that Bellamy was still not immune to her. “Second cabinet to the left of the sink.” Sawyer grabbed the wine off the counter. She tilted the bottle, speaking as she poured. “Have you had this one? Tina suggested it. She said Coach Cline loves it. It’s a blend, so it isn’t quite as harsh as a cab by itself.”

  “I haven’t.” Bellamy held the glass under her nose and inhaled. “Blackberry, vanilla, oak…” She paused, and sniffed again. “…something spicy. I can’t quite put my finger on it.”

  “Anise. I looked it up.”r />
  Bellamy took a small sip, letting the liquid coat her tongue. She swallowed finally and smiled. “It’s good. A little too cold for me, but I like it.”

  Sawyer breathed a sigh of relief. She’d been sampling wines for the better part of a year now, trying to figure out what Bellamy liked about them. She was at a loss as to the appeal of the drier wines until Tina suggested she try this one. “Glad you like it.”

  Bellamy picked up the bottle and filled her glass to the top. She jumped when a shout came from the living room, reminding her they weren’t alone. Fortunately, she managed to avoid spilling any. “More?”

  Sawyer slid her glass across the island. “Sure.” She picked up her glass. “Bring the bottle. Let’s watch the sunset.”

  Once they were settled, Bellamy used the uninterrupted time to ask about her son. “How’s he doing, really?”

  Sawyer paused, not sure how to answer the question. He was more tired of late. She knew he’d missed a couple of classes, not able to force his body up and around. He begged her not to say anything to his mom. She didn’t need the added stress. “Oh, you know, tired. Stressed about classes. The normal stuff for a college kid.”

  “Sawyer.” Bellamy narrowed her eyes. “Is there something you’re not telling me?”

  “Bellamy, he’s fine. I promise. I’m sure if there is something wrong, he would tell you.”

  “I’m not so sure anymore.” Bellamy sighed with resignation. “I think he’s worried that I’ll try to convince him to come home, if he’s getting worse.”

  “Would you?”

  “I wish I knew the answer to that. I’d like to think I would let him make the decision to stay or come home, but I can’t be certain. I don’t know that he would be honest with me if he knew that.”

  Sawyer’s heart ached for Bellamy. She didn’t have children of her own, and no matter how close she and Kevin were, their relationship paled in comparison to their bond. She couldn’t begin to imagine how far away and helpless Bellamy must feel. “I know I don’t have a lifetime of getting to know Kevin, but I reckon if things got bad enough, he would tell you. He’s stubborn and independent like his mom, but also like his mom he isn’t a fool.