To Love and to Cherish

by Leigh Greenwood

  “Stop teasing yourselves with all these questions,” Dr. Kessling advised. “Nearly everyone in town would have to transfer their accounts to the new bank to have any effect. That can’t be done because no one has enough money to start a new bank.”

  “You don’t have to have a lot of money,” Colby said. “All you need is sufficient deposits to grant enough loans to cover your costs of operation. The deposits for the Fort Verde payroll alone would be enough for that.”

  “Where are you going to find anyone with the time to solicit everyone in the valley, the guts to face down Norman, and the standing to convince people to trust him?”

  Every gaze in the room focused on Dr. Kessling.

  “Don’t look at me. I have no desire to tackle Norman.”

  “You’re the only one who can,” Ethan urged his father. “Everyone in town loves and trusts you.”

  “They trust me as a doctor. Not a banker. I don’t know about the love.”

  “You know everybody loves you,” Laurie told the doctor, “but don’t let anyone talk you into doing this for me. I’ll be fine.”

  “It’s not about you being fine,” Naomi said. “It’s about Norman doing what’s right.”

  “You’re not the only one he bullies,” Colby said.

  Laurie turned to Dr. Kessling. “I’ll help you any way I can, but don’t do this on my account. I’m going to be fine.”

  “I don’t call being forced to work cooking and cleaning house fine,” the doctor said. “Jared can’t be paying you much. Certainly not as much as you should be getting from Norman.”

  “How much is he paying you?” Naomi asked.

  “You can’t ask her that,” Colby said.

  “I just did.”

  “Well, you can’t expect her to answer.”

  “I don’t care about the money. I’m worried about her because she’s my cousin.”

  Laurie had known this was going to come up sooner or later. Since she couldn’t tell the truth, she would give them a story that was as close to the truth as possible. “Between what I’m paid and what Norman gives me, I have enough money. I eat my meals at the ranch, and someone invites me to eat with them nearly every Sunday. I have very few expenses.”

  “It’s still not right,” Naomi insisted.

  “I agree, but now can we talk of something else? Have you told Colby your news?”

  ***

  “What’s wrong?”

  Laurie had been so distracted she hadn’t been aware that Jared had returned. She struggled to hide her tears, but it was too late.

  “Nothing. I was just feeling sorry for myself.”

  Jared tossed his hat and gloves aside. He sat down next to her at the table and took her hands in his. “I’d believe that if Nick hadn’t told me he saw Norman riding back to town. He’s been here, hasn’t he?”

  There wasn’t much use denying it. “He left about half an hour ago.”

  “What did he say to cause you to cry? I swear I’ll knock the man down if he comes here again and upsets you.”

  “It’s not that. I was so angry I told him I hoped his bank would fail. I was crying because he can’t take his anger out on me, so I know he’s going to make life miserable for Sibyl and her daughter.”

  “What’s this about his bank failing?”

  Laurie shook her head. “It’s not going to fail. This whole mess is just a misunderstanding. It’s my fault.”

  “What misunderstanding? How is it your fault?”

  Laurie withdrew her hands long enough to dry her eyes. “Naomi and her family were trying to think of ways to force Norman to give me my money. I told them the only way was to start a new bank. I didn’t mean for anyone to take it seriously.”

  “I think that’s a great idea. What happened?”

  “They decided Dr. Kessling was the only one everyone loved and trusted enough to consider going against Norman. He’s the only doctor this side of the fort. I was sure he’d be too busy to talk people into giving him their money, much less actually running a bank.”

  “What did he do?”

  “He went straight to Norman and told him people were urging him to start a new bank because of the way Norman had treated everyone. Norman decided I was the one who’d put Dr. Kessling up to it. He threatened not to give me any money at all until I quit working for you.”

  “Can he do that?”

  “I told him I’d take him to court, but his father-in-law is the justice of the peace.” Laurie tried to hold back the tears—she wasn’t even sure why she was crying—but to no avail. Tears streamed down her face. When Jared pulled her to her feet and took her in his arms, she folded herself into his embrace. “I just feel so helpless,” she told him. “I know that sounds foolish when I have so many relatives in Cactus Corner, but Noah was so jealous he practically cut me off from everyone. I was afraid to do or say anything he didn’t like because it just made living with him worse. Now Norman’s determination to control me has practically made me leave town.”

  “You have lots of friends here. Steve would attack Norman with his bare hands if he hurt you. I think Loomis or Nick would resort to a more effective method.”

  “What would you do?” Was that fair to ask? She didn’t know, but she had to ask it anyway.

  “Whatever is necessary. You’re very important to me, too.”

  Impulse caused Laurie to stand on her tiptoes and give Jared a kiss of thankfulness for his support. What she unleashed was quite different. Jared’s arms tightened around her with a suddenness that left her dazed, but it was his kisses that left her breathless. She hadn’t forgotten the night she spent in his arms. The night Norman stayed at the ranch, she had lain awake for hours imagining what might have happened if Norman hadn’t been there. It had left her tired and fretful the next day.

  “I’ve been thinking about holding you in my arms, kissing you, making love to you every minute since the night it snowed,” Jared whispered. “I even imagined following you home and making love to you all night long.”

  “I thought of the same thing,” Laurie confessed. “Does that make me an awful woman?”

  “No more than it makes me an awful man,” Jared assured her.

  Despite Jared’s assurances, it wasn’t easy to forget all the things Noah had said about her. She held Jared more tightly, hoping that his nearness and acceptance would drive out all memory of Noah’s words. It was so much easier when his arms were around her, when she felt safely sheltered in his embrace. His kisses made her feel desirable.

  She didn’t object when he lifted her off the ground and carried her to Steve’s old bedroom.

  She had expected he would want to make love to her immediately. Instead, he lay down beside her, put his arms around her, and started kissing her once more.

  “I could stay here all afternoon,” Jared said.

  She wished they could, too, but it wasn’t possible. “I don’t need all afternoon. A kiss and your arms around me can make me forget just about anything.”

  “Even Norman?” Jared asked.

  “Especially Norman.”

  They both laughed.

  Jared nuzzled her neck. “Do you really like me kissing and holding you?”

  She tried to sit up, but he wouldn’t let her. “If I didn’t, I’d have slapped your face and demanded that you find Steve so he could take me home at once.”

  “I would stop if you asked.”

  “I don’t want you to stop. I thought that was clear.”

  “I just wanted to be sure.”

  “I’ve never felt as alive or been as happy as when I’ve been in your arms. It’s the only time everything seems right with me. The rest of the time, something is always out of alignment.”

  “You’re too beautiful to feel like that.”

  “Beauty has nothing to do with it, and I wish you’d stop saying that all the time. It makes me wonder if you can see anything but my face or my body.”

  “There’s a great deal more to you tha
n that, and every one of us here at the ranch is aware of it. I can’t tell you what a difference you’ve made since you’ve been here.”

  “I’m glad. I like the men.”

  “They like you.” He kissed her. “More than I would like. One of these days I may have to have a talk with Loomis.”

  “Don’t you dare. He’s a sweet man.”

  “Am I a sweet man?”

  “That’s not a word I’d use to describe you.”

  “What words would you use?”

  “I’ll have to think about that. A kiss might inspire me to think faster.”

  The longer Jared’s kiss lasted, the less Laurie wanted to think about anything but kissing him back. After being afraid of a man’s touch, it was hard to believe she couldn’t get enough. It was like there was a deep hole inside her that needed filling.

  “Have you thought of the words yet?”

  “I don’t want to think. I just want you to kiss me until I can’t think at all.”

  Jared took her at her word. By the time he came up for breath, she wasn’t sure she could breathe. It wasn’t just that his lips touched hers or that his warmth flooded her body. It felt like he had staked a claim to her, that he wanted her to know she belonged to him. It wasn’t that he would hold her by force. She would belong to him because she didn’t want to be anywhere else.

  A thrill raced through her when his hands covered her breasts. His heat penetrated her clothing as though it wasn’t there. She trembled all over when his kisses traveled across her jaw and down the side of her neck. She couldn’t wait for him to undo the buttons down the front of her dress, so she undid them herself. A quick tug at the tie holding her shift closed exposed her breasts to his hungry gaze. His hot hands on her heated flesh ratcheted up the tension until she felt ready to snap.

  “I love your breasts,” he murmured. “They’re perfect.”

  He covered one breast with kisses before moving to the other. Laurie was unable to lie still. Her body writhed in an orgy of deliciously sensual sensations. She pressed herself against Jared, loving his strength, his heat, his need for her. It was all so new, yet it felt so right. How could Noah have thought anything about this was indecent? It was the most wonderful experience of her life, a revelation of what the relationship between a man and a woman should be. Noah had let his prejudices deny him the chance to discover a part of himself that should have been as natural as breathing. For the first time, she could find it in her heart to feel sorry for him.

  Or she would have if she’d had the ability to give him more than a passing thought. Jared’s attentions to her breasts had become more assertive. Unwilling to confine his attention to kisses, he had begun to lave her nipples with his tongue. She wanted to tear his clothes from his body, to cover it with her hands and her kisses, to wrap herself around him and never let go. There were needs she couldn’t gratify, feelings she didn’t understand, wants that remained tantalizingly beyond the edge of conscious thought. Yet despite the confusion and lack of answers, she’d never felt more alive, more eager to discover what life had so far withheld from her.

  With Jared, all of that seemed possible.

  “I thought I knew what making love to a woman was all about,” Jared whispered, “but I didn’t understand anything at all until I met you. I was just going through the motions, waiting for someone to make me understand what they meant.”

  “I’ve been locked away somewhere, unable to move forward or backward, unable even to breathe, waiting for you to come along and tear open the prison door. I feel liberated. You’ve given me my life back. I’ll be eternally grateful for that.”

  Jared paused. “You make me sound better than I am.”

  “Not to me.”

  The kisses they shared were sweeter than ever, more tender than before. Need was still there, but so was compassion, a sharing of what they had come to mean to each other. Laurie wished she could remain right where she was forever. No more doubt or the need for constant proof of her value as a person in her own right. She didn’t have to be someone’s wife or daughter. Jared had helped her feel she finally was a whole person.

  Laurie flinched when Jared took her nipple into his mouth. It was a strange sensation, one that was slightly uncomfortable as well as very sensual—a feeling that made her want more and less at the same time. A wave of desire swept over her only to crash and evaporate at an unwelcome sound.

  “Miss Laurie, where are you?”

  Twelve

  Jared froze. What was Steve doing home so early? Pulling away from Laurie, he scrambled to his feet and straightened his clothes. “Stay here,” he whispered to her. “I’ll think of some reason why you had to lie down.”

  She looked horror-stricken. He could choke Steve for making Laurie feel this way.

  “You’re…” She gestured to his crotch.

  It was obvious he was highly stimulated, but shock would take care of that in seconds. “Stay here as long as you need.”

  “What are you going to tell him? He’s bound to see you come out of this bedroom.”

  “I’ll think of something.”

  Hoping he now looked presentable, Jared left the bedroom barely in time to keep Steve from going in.

  “What were you doing in there?” Steve asked. “Where is Miss Laurie?”

  Jared closed the door before Steve could look inside. “Let’s go to the kitchen.”

  “Why?”

  “Laurie isn’t feeling well so I told her to lie down.”

  “Is she sick? I can go for the doctor.”

  “There’s no need for that. I think it’s her time of the month.”

  “Her what?”

  “You know. It has to do with women being able to have babies.”

  “Oh. I see.”

  Jared wasn’t sure he did. That part of Steve’s education might have gotten overlooked in the upheavals of the past few years. “I was just checking on her. She says she’s feeling better and will be up before long.”

  “I don’t think she ought to get up,” Steve said. “I think she ought to stay here until she gets well.”

  “Let’s hope she feels better soon, or we’ll have Norman out here to make sure nothing happens to her.”

  “I’d rather have Colby.”

  “So would I. What brought you back to the house so early?”

  “Odell wanted me to tell you he saw some puma tracks. He thinks we ought to set up a night camp to see if we can catch it.”

  “Did he find any kills?”

  “One.”

  “Cougars come back to their kills, so we’ll set up a camp somewhere we can watch for it. Otherwise we’d probably never see it again.”

  “Can I stay out with Odell?”

  “I think Nick had better do it. He’s used to hunting in the Louisiana swamps at night. I think he can see in the dark.”

  Cheated of his chance for adventure, Steve’s attention turned back to Laurie. “Are you sure she’s all right? Maybe you’d better check on her.”

  “I was in there just a few minutes ago.”

  “She could have gotten worse.”

  “She said she was better, and that she’d be up soon to start supper.”

  “I think we ought to cook and take her supper to her.”

  Jared laughed and felt more relaxed. “I doubt she could eat anything we fixed. If she tried, it would probably make her feel worse.”

  “Don’t we have some leftovers?”

  Laurie entered the kitchen in time to hear Steve’s question. “We have plenty of leftovers, but not enough to feed this crew.”

  Steve rushed over to Laurie. “Are you sure you should be up?” He moved closer until they were nose to nose. “You look a little pale.”

  “I told him it was your time, you know.”

  Fortunately Laurie was able to guess what he meant. Then she did go pale, but Jared was sure it was from embarrassment.

  “I knew it,” Steve declared. “You’re about to faint.”


  Laurie pushed him away. “I’m not about to faint, but if you don’t give me room to breathe, I might.”

  Steve jumped back. Jared felt guilty for putting the boy through this. It was his fault. If he had kept his lust under control, Steve wouldn’t be worried and Laurie wouldn’t be embarrassed. He decided right then that he was going to control himself. What would have happened if Steve had come looking for them without calling out first? He didn’t even want to think about it.

  Steve looked confused about what to do next, but that changed quickly. “Odell found puma tracks. I wanted to stay out to see if it turned up tonight, but Jared said Nick ought to stay on account of him hunting in swamps at night.”

  “I can imagine few things worse than hunting in swamps, day or night, or waiting around for a cougar to decide whether it wanted to eat me or a cow with very long horns and sharp hooves. Since I don’t have either, it would probably choose me.”

  Steve laughed so hard both Laurie and Jared smiled. With that, the tension melted away.

  But Jared’s desire remained unsatisfied.

  ***

  Later, Jared tossed his pen aside with a curse and pushed back from his desk. He didn’t like what he saw, but the figures didn’t lie. If Laurie got half the income of the ranch, it would leave too little for the rest of them to divide. He wouldn’t have enough to ultimately buy out her half, the men wouldn’t have enough to go out on their own, and Steve would end up with less than he had before they left Texas. If Jared could avoid the mistakes the previous owner had made, would he be better off sticking with longhorns? Even if he didn’t make much money, all the income would be theirs. But would that income be more than he’d make with Laurie owning half the ranch? That was a question he couldn’t answer.

  The better solution would be for Norman to give him the loan. With the full income from the ranch, Jared could pay off the loan and have more left for himself, Steve, and the men. He hated to think of letting Laurie down, but the future of six men was at stake. He couldn’t let sentiment, or lust, cloud his judgment. Besides, it wasn’t like he was taking anything from Laurie. She would still have her money to invest in a different way. There was no other solution. He had to go to Cactus Corner and see if he could talk Norman into granting the loan.