Saving My Submission BN

by Jenna Jacob

  “Oohhh, let me look,” Sanna demanded, prying the statue from my grip. “Holy cow. This is beautiful. Look at it, Master. Isn’t she most gorgeous thing you’ve ever seen?”

  A look of awe lit her face as she studied the kneeling woman, rotating her slowly and taking in all the intricate details. No doubt my reaction had been much the same at the gallery; no wonder Joshua saw through my façade so easily. “Joshua Lars made this, didn’t he?”

  “Yes.” I nodded, anxious to snatch the statue back and race upstairs. I didn’t want to answer questions about the art, my appearance, or anything related to Joshua.

  “Oh my god, how much did this thing cost you?”

  “Nothing. He gave it to me.”

  “He’s the guy you had sex with, isn’t he?” Savannah pressed with a knowing grin.

  “Sanna. I already told you, I don’t want to talk about it. Give me that,” I ordered as I snatched the woman from her hands. “I’m going to bed.”

  “Hrmm, it must have been disappointing. You’re grouchy.” She pouted.

  I closed my eyes and issued a heavy sigh. Disappointing? No. Mind blowing? Yes, and then some.

  “Come on, Mel. You and I always… compare… errr…” Sanna flashed a guilty look Dylan’s way as his brows arched up high and his blue eyes grew wide.

  “Compare notes? Do you now, kitten?”

  “No,” she whimpered with a nervous chuckle. “We don’t compare… we just talk about… oh hell.”

  “Language, precious,” Nick warned as he stepped into the foyer. Cocking his head, he glanced at the figurine in my hands. “What do you have there?”

  “It’s one of Joshua Lars’ sculptures, Master. Isn’t it beautiful? He gave it to Mellie, but I still can’t get her to tell me what she gave him.”

  Nick peeked up at me, smirking as he took in my disheveled state. “I’d say a very memorable night.”

  “That’s what I think, too,” Sanna replied in a conspiratory whisper.

  “This is quite stunning,” Nick nodded as he, too stared at the kneeling woman. “The man is obviously talented.”

  You have no idea.

  “So you’re really not going to spill the beans… even to me, your only sister?” Sanna asked, her bottom lip sticking out in a dramatic pout.

  “Stop pestering her, kitten,” Dylan chided. “If she wants you to know, she’ll tell you.”

  “Yes, Sir.”

  I felt guilty keeping the details of my night from Sanna, but I needed to sort the barrage of emotions pinging through me. Sort them, dissect them, and then put them away. Something had happened inside his magnificent loft… something that had the potential to haunt me the rest of my life.

  “I’m sorry, Sanna. I’ll tell you all about it tomorrow. Right now, I just want to take a shower and climb into bed.”

  She studied me in microscopic appraisal, then frowned. “Are you okay?”

  “Yes, of course. I’m just wiped out,” I replied before planting a reassuring kiss on her cheek. “Let me get some sleep and I promise we’ll talk in the morning.”

  “Okay, but if you need me, I’m always here for you, sis.”

  “I know, and I love you for it.”

  Feeling as if I didn’t deserve her unconditional love, it didn’t stop me from gathering it around me. Raw and confused, her devotion soothed the craggy edges of my jagged nerves.

  Sanna still wore a skeptical expression as I said my goodnights then climbed the stairs. I couldn’t fault her for being concerned. Even before she found Dylan and Nick, I’d always confided in my sister. But my encounter with Joshua left me feeling defensive, as if talking about what we’d shared might somehow sully its sanctity. That alone had me perplexed. I hadn’t expected a one-night stand would leave me feeling so damn fragile. I should have been choking on guilt and shame, and finding ways to forgive myself instead of hoarding and savoring the memories. Sanna would want answers for my unusual demeanor, but then so did I. Hopefully by morning I would have it sorted out.

  “Why are you obsessing over him?” I groused as I stripped off my clothes and climbed into the shower. “You had a fabulous fuck. Get over it.”

  As the hot water washed Joshua’s scent from my skin, a pang of regret slid through me. The thought of erasing him from my skin dismayed me, and the emptiness that accompanied it was alarming. I’d never pined for a man before, at least not to this degree. The bizarre sensation made me prickly and on edge.

  No matter how hard I tried to compartmentalize the aftereffects of my night with Joshua, I couldn’t stop tossing and turning. Visuals of the incredible ways he’d unraveled me spooled through my brain, and the more I tried to push them away, the brighter and bolder they became. I’d washed away his scent, yet I could still smell his skin. Even brushing my teeth couldn’t erase the taste of his slick come branded on my tongue. My lips still tingled from his toe-curling kisses, and his deep, rich voice refused to stop echoing in my ears. The man was like a ghost, fixated on haunting my psyche.

  Glancing at the clock, I groaned. Four thirty in the morning, and I was no closer to sleep than I’d been when I crawled into bed two hours earlier. Tugging the extra pillow from behind my head, I wrapped my arms around the firm foam cushion and closed my eyes. Giving in to my foolish fantasies, I imagined clinging to Joshua’s rugged body, and finally drifted off to sleep.

  The soft snick of the door woke me and when I opened my eyes, I saw Savannah approaching the bed. A weak smile tugged one side of her mouth as she nibbled her bottom lip; a clear indication she was worried. Tossing back the covers, I patted the mattress and turned on my side. Her mouth stretched in a wide smile as she pounced into bed alongside me.

  “You worry too much, baby,” I whispered. Combing my fingers through her hair—an act of reassurance I used to do when we were young—I placed a light kiss on her forehead.

  Savannah had been just sixteen when our parents died. When I finally arrived home from college, after getting the heart-breaking news, she and I had climbed into our parents’ bed and held each other as we cried. I felt the same need to ease her troubled mind as I did back then.

  “You’ve never shut me out like that before, Mel. I can’t help it.”

  “I wasn’t trying to shut you out, baby. I just needed some time to sort it out is all.”

  “Was it Joshua?”

  “Yes.”

  “So what happened? Was it something bad?”

  “No. Totally the opposite,” I confessed.

  She rose on her elbow and looked down at me as a sly grin lit up her face. “He matters to you, doesn’t he?”

  “Oh please,” I scoffed. “It was one night. One night I’ll never forget.”

  Dammit, I needed to shut my mouth. If I gave her the tiniest crumb, she’d want the whole slice of bread.

  “It happens like that, you know.”

  “What happens?”

  “Love,” she giggled.

  I grabbed the pseudo-Joshua-pillow next to me, and smacked her with it. “I’m not in love, Sanna, geezzz.”

  “How do you know? You always run away before you get the chance to find out.”

  “Zing. Ouch. You nasty little brat,” I groused, hitting her with the heavy foam a second time.

  With a squeal she snatched it from my hands and hit me back.

  “Uncle,” I laughed when she brought the pillow back for another blow.

  “You’re such a girl,” Sanna drawled with a grin.

  “Thank you,” I laughed. “What time is it? Did I miss breakfast?”

  “Uh, yeah. It’s one o’clock in the afternoon, sleeping beauty. Oh, there’s plenty of food in the kitchen if you’re hungry. But that’s not why I came up to roust your lazy ass out of bed. We need to get to Maurizio’s at three to start setting up the decorations.”

  “Decorations? That’s right. The bachelorette party is tonight, isn’t it?”

  “Yep. How much time do you need to get ready?”

  “Not long
if you’ll give me some privacy.” I grinned.

  “I bet Scotty will be happy to see you,” she taunted as she rolled out of bed.

  “Out,” I growled and pointed to the door.

  “You’re such a party pooper now that you’re in love.”

  I gasped. “Shut the… I am not in love. Now get out of here before I hit you with the pillow again.”

  Sanna laughed as she left the room. I could still hear her giggling as she made her way down the hall.

  “Brat,” I grumbled as I climbed out of bed.

  Reaching for my phone, a flutter of excitement rolled in my belly. It was juvenile and sophomoric, but I couldn’t keep from hoping that Joshua might have left me a text.

  “You’re a fool for wishing,” I mumbled as I tossed the phone onto the bed and stalked toward the bathroom.

  #

  Sanna and I were the first to arrive at Maurizio’s. When Scotty spied me, he puffed out his sculpted chest just a little and swaggered out from behind the bar. My not-so-subtle sister waggled her eyebrows at me, grinning like a fool. I wanted to smack her.

  “Hey, Mellie. It’s good to see you again.” He smiled, stepping close inside my personal space. “I guess sleep won out the other night, huh?”

  “It did. I’m sorry. I’ve been traveling too much lately and I think it caught up with me,” I replied, pursing my lips in sorrowful apology.

  “Maybe after the party, you can join me up at the bar so we can talk or have a drink.”

  His hopeful expression made it impossible for me to shoot down his offer. “I’ll see what I can do,” I hedged with a light smile.

  One drink wouldn’t kill me. Besides, I needed something to occupy my brain cells to keep them off a certain artist… who still hadn’t called. What if Scotty wanted more than conversation? No thanks. The thought of any man besides Joshua touching me sent an icy chill of revulsion through my veins. The prickly, edgy sensation was back.

  “Come on, Mel. Let’s start setting up. The party’s back here,” Sanna called, motioning me toward a room off the back of the restaurant.

  “Let me know if you need anything,” Smiling, Scotty took my hand and lifted it to his lips, placing a sweet kiss on it. Then he winked. “Anything at all.”

  His kiss left an itchy burn on my hand, as if a million ants were crawling under my skin.

  “Will do.” I nodded, flashing a quick smile.

  Steering toward the opening Savannah had disappeared through, I frowned.

  Why all of a sudden are hunky, desirable men off the menu? Surely you’re not delusional enough to think Joshua is ever going to call, are you?

  Wanting to prove the voice in my head wrong, I tugged my phone from my pocket and checked my messages. Nothing. Maybe Joshua wasn’t ever going to call. That thought made my stomach turn in a sick sort of way. Shoving my phone away, I stepped into the large lackluster room and groaned. It needed a lot of work. Thankfully my inner interior designer rushed to the surface, determined to turn the dull room into a dazzling bachelorette blowout, and in the process pushed my foolish thoughts about Joshua aside. Inhaling a deep breath, I started helping Sanna sort out the decorations.

  Julianna and Trevor arrived, their arms draped with shopping bags and their hands loaded with boxes. Sanna and I rushed to help lighten their burden.

  “There’s more in the car,” Trevor smiled. “I’ll be right back.”

  “Do you need some help?” I offered.

  “Yes. There’s tons more.” He grinned.

  As Trevor and I made our way back through the restaurant, I felt Scotty’s eyes on me. Trying to focus on Trevor’s excited ramblings, I couldn’t shake the awkward sensation Scotty’s attention evoked. It was perplexing. Rarely did I shun the interest of a fine looking man. What was wrong with me?

  “How’d your art thingy go last night?” Trevor asked, opening the back hatch of a big black Escalade.

  “It went great. Thank you.” Steering the conversation from more questions, I chuckled and tipped my head to the bags and boxes packed inside the vehicle. “Are we decorating the whole damn city?”

  “Just about,” he giggled. Lifting a box, he issued a loud grunt. “Oh, my god. This is that damn elephant butt plug thing. Why on earth did Savannah want to buy this this enormous, scary thing in the first place?”

  “I have no idea,” I chuckled. “But you’re right. It is frightening and then some.”

  “I’m just glad Daddy never got to see it. He definitely doesn’t need any help thinking up ways to push my limits, that’s for sure.”

  “I don’t think you have to worry, Trevor. That thing wasn’t made for humans… at least I hope not.”

  “I should say not! That damn thing would stretch your sphincter to the point of no return. I mean, think about it. You’d have to wear diapers the rest of your life because your shit would just fall out.”

  I started laughing so hard I almost dropped the supplies. “I don’t want to think about it. It will scar me for life.”

  “It already has me.” He shuddered and blanched.

  After two more trips, the SUV had finally been unloaded. By then, half a dozen subs from the club had arrived, bringing balloons and a humongous penis sheet cake. I was excited when I discovered that Julianna had brought several bolts of burgundy and cream fabric, and after Trevor borrowed a couple ladders from Scotty, I began draping and tacking the material from the rafters.

  In between tasks, I snuck a couple more glances at my cell phone, hoping for a text, but there was no communication from Joshua. Inwardly chiding myself for behaving like an adolescent teen, I decided to simply turn the damn thing off and be done with it, so I did… at least for a little while.

  Someone let out a squeal as a group of subs clustered around Trevor while he hung a poster of a male fitness model on the wall. Either he or Julianna had printed ‘Pin The Junk On The Dom’ at the top of the image, and it was then that I noticed the poor man’s cock had been photo shopped out of the picture. I could only imagine what pictures had been designed to pin on the poster.

  Laughter was plenty, and the submissive stories swapped were educational, but with them the pangs of longing surfaced, along with the memories of submission Joshua brought to life inside me. Rubbing my palm over the phone in my pocket, I resisted the urge.

  Savannah delegated duties while managing to orchestrate the controlled chaos. While Trevor and a few of the subs hung streamers, I slipped out to use the ladies’ room.

  Once finished, I washed my hands and begrudgingly turned on my phone to check for messages and frowned. Deciding to put the device on vibrate, I shoved it back in my pocket before pulling open the door.

  Scotty stood, leaning against the wall in the narrow corridor, wearing a seductive grin. I yelped in surprise as a shot of adrenaline spiked within.

  “Sorry, gorgeous. I didn’t mean to startle you.”

  “You did,” I gasped, placing a palm on my chest, trying to steady my breathing.

  “I just needed to know,” he murmured before stepping forward. Extending his arm, Scotty placed his open hand on the wall, trapping me in before leaning in close.

  “Know what?” A wave of claustrophobia stilled the air in my lungs.

  “If you taste as good as you look,” he murmured.

  Before I could duck beneath his arm and make an escape, his lips latched onto mine. Ewww. No. Tensing, I placed my hands on his chest and pushed him back.

  “Scotty… I can’t do this,” I gasped as heat rose on my cheeks. “I’m…”

  “Whoa. Damn, Mellie, I…” he stammered, clearly embarrassed. “I didn’t mean to come on like a horny schoolboy. I thought…”

  “It’s not you, Scotty. It’s me. I’m not looking for…”

  “Yeah, I can see that now. I’m sorry, Mellie. I totally misread your body language the other night. Shit. My apologies.”

  “No apology necessary, Scotty. I… it’s just that things have changed.”

 
“Wow. That sure didn’t take long.” He issued a soft chuckle, then lowered his arm. “But then, I’m not surprised. You’re a beautiful woman. Who’s the lucky man?”

  “Ah… it’s not important,” I stammered. “If you’ll please excuse me, I need to get back.”

  Scurrying away like a coward, I raced back toward the party room. I’d never turned tail and run from a man in my life…well, all except for Joshua—and Scotty now, too. Something was wrong… terribly wrong.

  Dammit, Joshua. If you’ve ruined me for other men, I’m going to hunt you down and cut off that massive, amazing cock of yours. Shit, this can’t be happening to me. It just can’t. Son of a bitch!

  I raced back into the room, frazzled and panicked. Savannah blinked as a look of worry swiftly fixed over her face.

  Raising my palm in surrender, I shook my head. She issued a heavy sigh, rolled her eyes and shrugged before plucking several tubes of lube from one of the boxes.

  Guilt sluiced through me. Aside from Davis Walker’s crushing humiliation, I hadn’t kept many secrets from my sister. Yet over the past twenty-four hours, I’d unintentionally walled her out from my emotions.

  No more. After all you two have been through, you can’t shut her out.

  I decided that after the party, I would sit my sister down and have a nice long heart-to-heart. Hopefully she would help me figure out how I’d gotten so twisted up over a simple romp in the sack with a man I barely knew. So why didn’t it feel simple? And where was the fallout of guilt for my shameful behavior? When was that ugliness going to show up? Everything after my encounter with Joshua felt wrong. Not in a bad way, but in a pull your hair out and scream like a crazy woman sort of way. It was pointless to waste my brain cells on a man I’d probably never hear from again.

  A few hours later, the room looked festive and bright. All the guests had arrived… all except Leagh. With one last item on our to-do-list, Savannah struggled to lift the massive butt plug out of the box before heaving it onto the table.

  “The pièce de résistance, and centerpiece for our guest of honor,” Sanna laughed with a sweep of her hand. “May I present: ‘Monster Plug from Hell.’”

  The room fell utterly silent; seconds later screams of laughter erupted as Trevor helped Sanna center the massive slab of latex on the table. Julianna and I helped the other two slather the colossal plug with lube then stood back and giggled as Trevor flipped the button on the penis strobe veil and placed the tiara in front of the grotesque, glistening centerpiece. He let out a shrill laugh as he pulled a two-foot sparkler from one of the boxes.