Love Me, Trust Me

by Barbara Gee

  “Does he drive a police car?” Hank asked.

  “He sure does.”

  Hank studied Libby’s face and she got the feeling he was trying to decide whether he could trust her.

  “Anthony said he wasn’t my real dad,” he said finally. “And he said my real dad didn’t want me to be his boy.”

  Libby fought the urge to pull the little guy into her arms and never let go. Instead, she moved over to the empty chair beside him and took his hand in hers. “Anthony was mistaken, Hank. Your dad didn’t know about you.” She glanced at Marilee to make sure she was doing okay. The social worker gave her a nod, so Libby continued.

  “It makes him really sad he didn’t know you when you were a baby, but the important thing is that your mom told him after she got sick, because she knew he would love you just as much as she did. So she told Ryan that he has a little boy, and she asked him to come get you.”

  His dark eyes stayed steady on hers, waiting for more.

  “He was so surprised at first, he just couldn’t believe it. And then he couldn’t wait to get here to meet you. But he was a little scared, too.”

  “Why?” Hank asked curiously, almost in spite of himself.

  “Because he was afraid you’d be mad at him for not coming sooner, when you were a baby.”

  The little boy thought about that. “If my mom woulda told him about me maybe he woulda come to see me.”

  Libby nodded. “You bet he would have. But he thought you might still be mad, even though he didn’t know.”

  “I’m not mad,” Hank whispered.

  Marilee shifted in her chair, leaning forward. “How did you feel earlier when I told you your daddy was here waiting to see you, Henry? Were you excited to see him?”

  The same shoulder rose in another shrug.

  “Were you curious to see what he would look like?” Libby asked with a warm smile. “Did you wonder if he was tall or short, or had blond hair or black hair?”

  Hank pulled his hand away from Libby and hunched his shoulders. “I thought he wouldn’t like me. Cuz Anthony said no one likes noisy boys who don’t stay in their room, and who sneak out to look for snacks, and he said I cried too much. But I don’t do it anymore. If I stay in my room and be quiet he’s nicer. So if I do that maybe my dad will like me.”

  Libby tried to hide her horror as she and Marilee exchanged glances, the older woman shaking her head sadly.

  “I have some real good news for you, Hank,” Libby said. “Your dad doesn’t expect energetic little boys to stay in their room, and he doesn’t want you to be quiet all the time. He’ll want to talk to you and play with you. Do you like football?”

  Hank’s head jerked up. “I played at Jake’s house once. His dad threw a football to us and we tried to catch it.”

  “Well your dad was a real good football player when he was in school, and I’m sure he’d like to have a buddy to throw the ball with.”

  “Does my dad have a house? And grass?”

  “Well, he used to, but one night when he wasn’t home it caught on fire and burned down,” Libby said gently. “So he found another good place for you guys to stay for a while.”

  Hank’s dark eyes suddenly filled with tears. “Did the mean man burn it down?”

  Libby swallowed and looked once again to Marilee for guidance. The other lady took over. “Why do you ask that, Henry?”

  “Cuz I heard Anthony and the mean man talking about burning a house. Anthony told the mean man he better burn it down or they wouldn’t have any more money.”

  “Well, we don’t need to worry about that right now, sweetheart,” Marilee said comfortingly.

  The door opened and Ryan walked back into the room. His eyes went right to Hank, and Libby could see the intense emotion he already felt for his son. She got up and returned to the other side of the table.

  “Sorry about that, Hank,” Ryan said, resuming his seat beside the boy.

  “We’ve been talking about you, Ryan,” Libby said, wanting to get Hank’s mind off the burnt house. She also wanted desperately to know whether Anthony had been arrested, but right now their focus needed to be on Hank.

  “Oh yeah?” Ryan asked, smiling. “What did she tell you, Hank?”

  The little boy had been staring at his dad, but now he dropped his eyes shyly. “She said you drive a police car,” he said, scuffing his shoe back and forth on the carpet.

  “She’s right.”

  “And she said you like to play football.”

  “She’s right about that, too. The only problem is I don’t have anyone to play with, so I’m kinda out of practice.”

  Hank looked up and opened his mouth, then closed it and looked away again, scuffing the carpet harder than ever.

  “I don’t suppose you’d—nah, I doubt you’d want to play with me. That probably doesn’t sound like much fun to you.”

  “Yes I would,” Hank burst out, then quickly put his head down again and hunched his shoulders, embarrassed by his eagerness and obviously afraid of rejection.

  “Seriously? You really wouldn’t mind playing?”

  Hank shook his head. “But I don’t think I’ll be very good.”

  “So you’ll need to learn how?” Ryan asked. “Wow, I’m glad to hear that.”

  Hank raised his head enough to give his dad a confused look.

  “See, I was afraid I was going to be the only one who didn’t know how to do everything. I mean, I’ve never been a dad before, so I have a lot to learn. And I thought you might get impatient with me because I’ll probably make mistakes while I’m learning. But if you have some things to learn, too, then maybe we can learn together. Help each other out, ya know?”

  Libby blinked away tears, then looked at Marilee and saw she was doing the same. The woman smiled at her, nodding her approval.

  “Am I gonna live with you now?” Hank asked warily. “Or do I hafta go back home?” His dark eyes clouded. “Anthony’s gonna be real mad if he knows I talked to you. He said you don’t want me to be your boy and if I ever saw you I shouldn’t talk to you.”

  “When did he tell you that?” Ryan asked gently.

  “After my mom died. When the mean man came and said my real dad might come.”

  “Do you want to go back to live with Anthony?”

  Hank shook his head vigorously. “He’s not my dad,” he said, his voice quivering. “He’s mean.”

  Ryan gave him a wide smile. “Then it’s a good thing you don’t have to go back to his house. You don’t ever have see Anthony again, Hank, if you don’t want to.”

  At that, the little boy raised his head all the way and looked at Ryan with an impossible hope shining from his eyes. “Never ever?” he breathed.

  “Nope. Never ever.”

  “But your house is burned down so where am I gonna live?”

  Ryan raised his brows and Libby cut in. “We talked about that a little while you were out. Hank wondered if you have a house, and I said you used to, but it burned.”

  “Well lucky for us I have a friend who has an extra house, and we can stay there until we find a new one of our own. Will that be okay with you?”

  “Can we go there now?” Hank asked.

  Marilee answered that question. “Tonight you’re going to stay with your grandparents, Henry. Not because your daddy doesn’t want to take you to his place, but because we need to have a meeting with a man called a ‘judge’ first. Do you know what a judge is?”

  Hank shook his head.

  “It’s a person who makes sure everything is all in order. Since you and your dad didn’t know about each other, there are some meetings we need to have with the judge, and your dad has to sign some papers and stuff so that everyone knows he’s your real dad and it’s okay for you to go live with him. So we’ll have those meetings tomorrow, and after that you should be able to go home with your dad. You don’t mind staying with your grandparents tonight, do you?”

  “No. But I wish I coulda brought some of my stuf
f from my room. Mom got me nice toys and I have a picture of me and her.”

  “Tell you what,” Ryan said, “if you can wait until tomorrow, after our meetings with the judge, I’ll see if we can get permission to go to your house and get all the things you want to keep.”

  Hank looked relieved. “Okay. Mom wanted me to keep that picture. I hid it from Anthony, in my closet.”

  “You won’t have to hide things anymore, Hank.”

  The door opened, and Marilee’s co-worker stuck her head in once again. “The grandparents are here, shall I bring them in?”

  Hank stood up. “I want to see Grandma and Grandpa,” he announced.

  When a very dignified looking older couple entered the room, the others stood, watching as they hugged Hank. Byron and Louise Tamblyn appeared to be on the reserved side, and they didn’t seem especially happy to see Ryan, but they did seem very glad to see their grandson again. Louise discretely wiped some tears away when Hank wrapped his little arms around her neck and told her he’d missed her.

  Before things could get awkward between the adults, Marilee suggested they all go to a restaurant down the street for an early dinner, so they could get to know each other better and give Hank a little more time with his dad before heading back to the hotel.

  The restaurant was only a block away, so they decided to walk. Ryan pulled Libby off to the side, where the others couldn’t hear them. “Just so you know, Anthony is in custody. They can’t guarantee he won’t get out on bail, but they’re finding a lot of incriminating stuff, so it’s looking good.”

  Libby squeezed his arm. “I’m so glad, Ryan. I’ll tell you what Hank said about him later.”

  “Thanks for softening him up for me when I was out of the room. I don’t know what you said, but I could tell he was more receptive to me when I came back in.”

  “I just assured him you would’ve come to see him sooner if you’d known about him. And I said you hoped he wasn’t mad at you because you didn’t. He’s not naturally so reserved, Ry, I’m sure of it. He said Anthony is nicer to him when he’s quiet and stays in his room, so he’s being quiet, hoping it’ll make you like him.”

  Ryan wiped a hand down his face. “What if Eve hadn’t written that letter? Or what if Patrick hadn’t taken the risk to deliver it to me? My son would be stuck with that man and I wouldn’t have even known.”

  “No what-ifs tonight,” she said, rubbing his back. “You did get the letter, and Hank is going to be with you. It’s going to be fine.”

  At the restaurant, Hank sat on one side of the table between his grandparents, while Ryan, Libby and Marilee sat on the other side. Patrick had elected to go home for dinner, but he would be at the courthouse tomorrow morning.

  Libby felt the tension between Ryan and the Tamblyns. Although they made an effort to be cordial and were all three very attentive to Hank, there was obviously much to be resolved in their relationship. Deciding they needed a chance to talk it out, Libby waited until Hank was finished eating, then asked if he wanted to go over to the enormous fish tank at the front of the restaurant and see how many fish they could count.

  He readily agreed, and as he walked in front of her, Libby gave Marilee a meaningful look, hoping she understood that this was a chance to begin clearing the air between parents who felt their daughter had been done wrong, and a man whose son had been kept away from him for more than five years. They wouldn’t forgive instantly, but for Hank’s sake, they needed to at least make an effort to move in that direction.

  After watching the fish for ten minutes, Libby looked back at the table and saw them talking intently, so she caught Marilee’s attention and pointed to the coffee shop and bakery across the street. Marilee nodded and gave her the okay sign, so Libby took Hank’s little hand and suggested they go get some dessert.

  His eyes got huge as they walked into the bakery, the smell of sugar and cakes and doughnuts heavy in the air. “Have you ever been in here?” Libby asked as he walked up to the huge display case and eyed the baked offerings.

  “No. Mom used to make me cookies and cupcakes and stuff though.”

  “Think you can fit something else into your tummy, or did you eat too much spaghetti for supper?”

  “I could fit it in,” Hank said quickly. “Can I really get something?”

  “Of course. Whatever you want. There are lots of different kinds of cupcakes and cookies over here on this side, or if you’d rather have a cinnamon roll or a muffin or a donut, that’s fine. Oh, the chocolate cake looks good, too.” Libby wondered how long it had been since Hank had received a sweet treat. Probably not since his mother had died.

  “Can I get that?” Hank asked almost reverently, pointing to an enormous cinnamon roll covered in smooth maple frosting.

  Libby chuckled. “Sure, and if you don’t eat it all now we’ll get a little box and you can take the rest back to the hotel and have it for a bedtime snack. Do you want some chocolate milk to go with it?”

  He looked at her like she was his fairy godmother, and Libby cringed inwardly, wishing it was Ryan buying him the treats and so easily earning the boy’s adoration. There would be plenty of time for that, though, so she ordered the roll and the milk, as well as a small coffee for herself, and they sat down at a booth by the window.

  Hank took a huge bite of the roll, smiling at her shyly while he chewed.

  “Is it good?” she asked, grinning at him.

  “Mmmm. Real good. Are you gonna get one?”

  “Not this time. I ate too much at dinner. I’ll just have this coffee.”

  He ate mostly in silence, and Libby thought it would probably be a while before the little boy felt comfortable talking freely. He had been conditioned to be silent and unseen, and that was a horrible shame.

  “Are you gonna be at my dad’s house when I go there?” he finally asked, sporting an adorable chocolate milk mustache.

  “For a little while. But I need to get home pretty soon. I have a job where I live, and I need to get back to it before too long. And you need to have some time alone with your dad to get to know him better.”

  “Where do you live?”

  “I live more than a thousand miles away from here. That’s where your dad was when he got your mom’s letter. He was visiting my family.”

  “Are you gonna fly back there on a airplane?”

  “I sure am. Maybe you and your dad can come visit sometime. Would you like to fly on an airplane?”

  He nodded. “Yeah. Is your family nice?”

  “Real nice. They would like you.”

  He studied her, his expression skeptical, the sadness back in his eyes. “Not if I’m noisy and don’t stay in my room.”

  “Oh yes they would. In fact, they wouldn’t want you to stay in your room. There are too many fun things to do. Your dad won’t want you to stay in your room at his house, either.”

  “He might, just like Anthony.”

  “Anthony didn’t know what he was missing. You’re way too fun to keep in your room. Ryan will want to have you around.”

  Hank shrugged, obviously not convinced. The fact that Ryan was a male, like Anthony, was going to make it harder for Hank to trust him.

  The little guy was about a third of the way through his giant roll when the others came in the front door. They looked a little haggard, and Louise appeared to have shed a few tears, but overall Libby thought maybe they looked a little more at ease with each other. Talking it out probably hadn’t been easy, but hopefully some progress had been made.

  “My goodness, Hank,” Louise said, sliding into the booth beside her grandson. “That roll is huge. Where are you putting it all, after eating all that spaghetti?”

  “In my tummy. Want a bite?”

  “No thanks.” Looking across at Libby, she smiled. “Our little Hank has a sweet tooth. I’ve missed being able to bake for him.”

  “Why didn’t you want to come see me, Grandma? You stopped bringing me cookies and Anthony said it’s cuz you didn’t wa
nt to see me anymore.”

  Louise looked at her husband, her eyes flashing with fury before she tamped it down and put her arm around Hank. “Anthony was telling you a lie, sweetheart. We wanted to see you, but he said we couldn’t.”

  Hank gave Ryan a quick, shy look as he sat down beside Libby. Libby could sense Ryan’s anger at the harm Anthony had caused, but he kept his voice low and even as he spoke to his son.

  “Remember, Hank, you don’t have to worry about Anthony anymore, and your grandparents can see you whenever they want to,” Ryan told him.

  Libby smiled as Hank kept working on his roll, sneaking glances at Ryan as the adults made plans for the following day. Their time in court was scheduled for 9:00, so they decided not to rush around to get together for breakfast beforehand; they would just meet in the courtroom. When Hank finally gave up on his roll, Libby went to have the remainder boxed up, adding a cookie to surprise him.

  They all walked together to where Byron and Louise had parked their car. Before Hank got in, Ryan squatted down beside him. “I’ll see you tomorrow morning, okay, buddy?”

  Hank just looked at him, seeming unconvinced. “You can trust me, Hank. I’ll be at the courthouse and we’ll talk to the judge, and then we’ll go back to the house together.”

  Craning his neck, Hank looked past Ryan to Libby. “She’s gonna be there too,” he said, pointing.

  “Yeah, she will. She’s pretty nice, huh?”

  Hank nodded.

  Ryan hesitated. “You think I could have a hug, Hank? Just a small one?”

  The little boy looked at him, his eyes wide, as if he were shocked his dad would want to hug him. He didn’t answer, but he didn’t back away, either. Ryan held his hands out and Hank ever so slowly leaned toward him, then finally took a step. Unable to help himself, Ryan gathered him close, holding his son for the first time.

  Libby wiped her eyes, thinking she had never seen anything so right. A sad, lonely, little boy and a man who for unknown reasons had never fully committed to another person, were now a family. And it was going to work, she knew it would.

  Ryan let go and slowly rose to his feet. “See you in the morning.”