As You Desire

by Nichelle Gregory

  There was no way she could know he’d given her a little mental push to bolster her confidence, yet she stared at him as though she knew what he’d done. Seconds ticked by before she finally averted her gaze. Rafi cleared his throat, forcing himself to focus on the principal High Council member speaking.

  “Is there anyone who would vote against our initial decision to release Lona?”

  An uneasy flutter passed through the hall. To disagree with the High Council on such a matter would no doubt cause trouble for the person who voiced a complaint.

  Another minute ticked by before Maurelle nodded. “Very well. Let it be known that Lona Vilan is now free to go. She has been absolved of all charges and welcomed back into our society.”

  Rafi watched Lona’s face, reading the joy and relief as clear as day on her face. He wondered what she’d do, now that her name had been cleared. There would be many still unwilling to believe she was innocent. She would have to deal with those within their community who would no doubt talk behind her back and hold her at arm’s length despite the High Council’s ruling.

  Someone was watching him. He could feel the unwanted attention as he turned his focus away from Lona to scan the hall. His gaze locked with Niri’s, Vander’s former lover. He nodded at her and she gave him a brief smile as she made her way towards him.

  “Hello, Rafi.”

  Her soft voice always reminded him of warm honey, soothing to the body. She was dressed in a teal gown that accentuated her slim body and gorgeous, white-blonde hair.

  “Niri. How have you been?”

  A loaded question, he knew, since she’d lost in the game of love with Vander.

  “Well, thank you. And you?”

  “Things have been good.”

  We’re both damn good liars.

  “I haven’t seen you around lately.”

  “I just finished an assignment. I’m looking forward to some down time.”

  Niri nodded. “You deserve it.”

  “Would you tell the HC that?”

  “Uh…I don’t think so.”

  Rafi grinned as she laughed. “It’s good to see you, Niri.”

  Her vivid blue eyes enchanted him. She was a very beautiful woman, even if she was almost two feet shorter than him.

  Niri tucked her hair behind one dainty elf ear. “Ditto, Rafi. Take care.” She turned away and looked back. “Would you like to have dinner some time?”

  Rafi hesitated.

  Dinner with Vander’s girl? Weird.

  Except she wasn’t Vander’s anymore.

  Still…

  “Just as friends,” Niri added as she blushed.

  What the hell.

  “Sure, that’d be nice.”

  Niri smiled and her entire face seemed to glow. “I’ll send you a formal invitation.”

  Rafi watched her leave, elegant and proud, as other males moved out of her way with a nod of respect. She was a powerful healer, held in high regard throughout the Djinn Brotherhood. Though Rafi was sure the males watching her depart weren’t thinking about her healing teas.

  Nope, just sex…and speaking of which…

  Rafi exhaled. It had been a long time for him. He couldn’t even remember the name of the last female he’d been with. The act had been that disconnected and meaningless. Simply a release his body needed to function. For the first time in a while, he wished there was someone he wanted to share a bed with. He was about to say to hell with his self-imposed ‘no meaningless sex’ hiatus. Two months without any sex would put any guy in a tailspin.

  Lacey offered, man.

  Yeah, but he didn’t want her. He wanted to feel something other than biology taking place in the bedroom.

  Dinner with Niri would be a welcome change of pace. He missed genuine conversation, even though socialising had never been his thing. Still, dinner with a friend and conversation centred on something other than wishes would be a nice change of pace.

  Rafi glanced back up at the stone platform, but it was now empty.

  Time to go.

  He left the hall, grateful the meeting was adjourned. The torches lining the hallway cast moving shadows along the wall as he strode towards the exit. Nightfall was approaching and he couldn’t wait to get back home. He was going to fire up the grill—yep, actually cook something without using magic—and eat beneath the stars on his dec—

  A low moan distracted him from teleporting. Rafi cocked his head, straining for the source of the sound. Seconds passed and nothing.

  Maybe I didn’t hear anything.

  No, there it was again—the faintest of groans coming from one of the rooms used for various ceremonies.

  Rafi stepped inside the darkened space, easily spotting the shape of a female huddled in the corner.

  What the hell?

  Chapter Two

  “Lady, are you all right?”

  “P—please…please go away.”

  Rafi moved forward, the shaky plea filling him with concern. “Are you ill?” He was close enough to see the woman with her arms wrapped around her knees.

  Gleaming brown waves of hair brushed against the stone floor. His heart beat faster as Lona lifted her tear-streaked face from her knees.

  “I’m dying. I want to die.”

  She opened her mouth and Rafi’s blood ran cold as her lovely face contorted with her silent scream. He rushed to her side, lifting her to her feet, shocked by how fragile she was as he folded his arms around her body.

  “Shh! I’ve got you. It’s okay.”

  “Rafi…he’s got me. He’s going to kill me!”

  The terror in her voice made the hairs stand up on the back of his neck. What was she talking about?

  He released her from his embrace to cup her face with his hands. “Lona, look at me.”

  She didn’t respond. Her eyes were unfocused as she blinked. Rafi could see her chest moving up and down, matching the frantic pace of her short breaths.

  “Lona, please, look at me. I’m not going to let anyone hurt you. You’re safe with me.”

  Her expression changed. Rafi could see her snapping out of whatever daze she was in.

  “Safe…I’m safe.” Lona shuddered with a groan.

  “Yes, you are.”

  He dropped his hands from her face as he studied her. She blinked again and finally met his gaze.

  “What just happened?”

  Rafi wrapped his arm around her waist as she swayed.

  “You were in some kind of trance. Do you remember what you said?” The look of stark terror on her face made him wished he hadn’t asked. “Lona?”

  She swallowed hard, shivering in his arms. Her voice was a faint whisper. “Rue… Rue wants revenge.”

  Rafi tightened his grip around her. “Rue is far away from here. He can’t hurt you anymore.”

  Vander had made sure the treacherous bastard would be trapped in a forsaken dimension, alone, with no way to escape.

  Lona let out a whimper of pain.

  “Oh, God, it hurts. Rafi, help me!”

  This time she let out a real scream and Rafi lifted her body into his arms. She trembled against him, her eyes wide with fear.

  “You’re sick. I’ll take you to Niri.”

  He knew she’d help Lona regardless of her tarnished history with the High Council.

  “No! Please, just take me away from here.” Lona grabbed hold of his arm and squeezed tighter than he would have thought possible in her current state. “Please, just get me out of here.”

  Her last sentence seemed to take the last of her energy. She went limp in his arms, her small body shifting easily as he lifted her higher.

  “Lona?”

  She didn’t respond and Rafi knew she had fainted.

  Shit.

  He had three choices—take her back to the High Council for care, which he knew she wouldn’t want, take her to Niri’s against her wishes or take her with him. In a split second decision, he teleported them both back to his quiet home on the beach. He lai
d her in his bed and she seemed to shrink within the thick robe she still wore. Rafi stared at her, taking in her still features as she rested. She looked uncomfortable layered beneath the heavy fabric.

  Rafi tugged on the tie holding the robe together and the sides fell open to reveal the thin, almost sheer chemise she was wearing underneath. It was dark in the room, but he could still see her curves. Funny—she was way too thin everywhere but her belly. His gaze lingered on the small, almost imperceptible swell barely pushing up the soft slip. His eyes travelled upwards to her breasts and the nipples visible in the moonlight streaming in from the windows.

  “Lona?”

  Saying her name in the shadows seemed so intimate.

  She’s sick, man—and so are you.

  He tore his eyes away from the sight of her smooth skin as he reached for his coverlet. His gaze fell on her bare feet. He went into the bathroom, wetted a towel and returned to the bed. Kneeling, he gently wiped the soles of her feet, transfixed by the most perfect pair of toes he’d ever seen. He wiped both feet as he stared at Lona’s ivory-polished toes, surprised when his cock jumped to life.

  It was so time to get away from her.

  He stood and tucked a light blanket around her.

  Sleep without fear.

  His mental command would give her at least six hours of peaceful rest, but using his inherent gift, unlike his magic, tired him out physically as well. Rafi watched Lona’s chest moving evenly beneath the coverlet and felt another overwhelming urge to reach out and touch the heavy mass of hair falling around her shoulders.

  You need sleep.

  The level of exhaustion weighing him down seemed to make his footstep heavy as he left the bedroom to crash on the couch. He would sleep now and when he got up he’d ask Lona about Rue Trevori again. Something about the way she’d said, ‘He’s got me’ troubled him.

  Rafi exhaled slowly, willing the tension to leave his body so he could rest. He needed to recharge, but he kept hearing the terror in Lona’s voice. It was obvious her past continued to give her hell…something he understood all too well. Lona would never get over her past if she continued to experience bad dreams.

  Or trances.

  He still wasn’t sure what he’d witnessed when he’d found her in the dark, but she’d seemed disconnected from reality.

  Rafi yawned, settling his body as comfortably as he could on the soft cushions.

  If he could help her somehow, he would. He knew how hard it was to live with demons. Nobody deserved that, especially not Lona.

  She’d been through enough.

  * * * *

  Lona woke up in the middle of the night, disorientated and nauseous. Where am I?

  She sat up in the soft bed and looked around. The last thing she remembered was

  talking to Rafi as she tried to ride out the waves of pain racking her body. Snatches of her conversation with him raced through her mind as she looked around what had to be his bedroom. A shudder of relief rushed through her. She was free. No longer being held and questioned by members of the High Council.

  After being closeted away for almost five months, she’d finally satisfied all suspicions about her supposed involvement with the rogue genies. She owed Karis and Vander for speaking up on her behalf. Without their testimonies about her trying to stop Rue, she’d still be locked up.

  Lona placed her head in her hands, willing the tears welling up in her eyes to stop. How had her life become such a mess?

  One name popped into her head—Rue. Her naïve love for him had cost her in so many

  ways. How had she allowed him to sway her reasoning, blur what she knew was right and wrong?

  Sometimes she felt as if she’d had no control over her actions where Rue was concerned…not until the end, when she’d seen what he was about to do to Karis. All the anger, resentment and disgust she’d felt towards him had bubbled up within her, giving her the strength to fight back. Now, she was finally free of him too.

  A wave of pain clenched her abdomen and Lona sucked in a ragged breath.

  Except you’ll never be rid of Rue, will you?

  She pressed a hand against her belly. The rounded swell beneath her fingertips felt foreign, unwelcome, the baby growing within her a constant reminder of her own personal failures. She’d been able to hide the pregnancy while imprisoned, as she was only now beginning to show. No one had suspected her condition, which had been the only perk to wearing that godforsaken robe.

  Lona gasped as another sharp twinge seemed to ride along every vein in her body.

  She was being punished—punished for staying with a lying, cheating, scheming master manipulator. In a way she welcomed the pain as it tore through her system again. She deserved it, and more, for not standing up to Rue sooner. Each little agony reminded her of how foolish and selfish she’d been to think Rue would ever change—that he’d ever really loved her. In the end it hadn’t mattered. Her ability to love had shrivelled up and died along with all the rest of her hopes and dreams for the future.

  Lona shivered, her body reacting to her dark thoughts. She swung out of bed and padded to the living room to see Rafi lying on the couch with no blanket, wearing only a pair of shorts. His big body looked so out of place, even on the decent-sized sofa.

  “Rafi?”

  He didn’t stir as she padded closer, his bare chest moving up and down in the steady rhythm of deep sleep. Her gaze travelled over the rest of his large form, lingering on Rafi’s dark, wavy hair. The over-long strands brushed against his cheeks, giving him an almost boyish look until Lona’s eyes moved lower. Her heart skipped a beat. There was nothing boyish about the rest of him. He was all hard lines and muscles. Unable to tear her eyes off him, Lona watched him as he slept. He had lashes and lips women would kill for, but he possessed the kind of rugged profile that kept him out of the pretty-boy zone.

  Falling instead into the one hundred per cent female temptation zone.

  Lona turned away from him, scanning the room for a clock, when another wave of pain shot through her. She bit her lip to keep from moaning.

  3.46 a.m.

  She walked towards the kitchen, moving quietly to the fridge, and opened the door with a trembling hand. Beer and bottled water were the only things available, but she didn’t mind. There was no way she was going to try to eat with her stomach in knots. Grabbing a bottle of water, she removed the cap and downed a few swallows.

  What’s wrong with me?

  Was it the baby?

  Rafi stirred as she shut the refrigerator door and she froze. She could hear him muttering something as she exited the kitchen to find him shifting restlessly on the wide sofa.

  “Sharon…”

  The pain in his rough whisper filled her heart with sadness. She instantly recognised the sound of personal torment.

  “Rafi?”

  Lona went to his side, but he didn’t answer, still caught deep within the dream world. She reached out to touch his shoulder and the incredible heat of his skin warmed her fingertips.

  “Sharon, please…”

  Goose bumps scattered along her arms, her body reacting to the raw anguish in his voice.

  “Rafi, wake up, you’re dreaming.”

  She sat beside him, gently shaking his arm, but he didn’t respond. He twisted his body towards her and Lona sucked in a breath as he lifted his head and placed it on her lap. She stared down at him for a second, then instinctively rubbed the mop of wavy hair from his brow. He seemed comforted by her touch, settling closer to her, and the heat emanating from him calmed her own frayed nerves.

  Minutes ticked by as she caressed his head and watched him sleep. She had forgotten how soothing and intoxicating being so close to a male could be. After she’d accepted that Rue wasn’t capable of keeping his numerous promises of fidelity, her desire to be intimate had vanished. Their sex life had become the starting point for arguments, the bedroom a battleground. Soon, Rue had stopped coming to their bed altogether. He had no longer pretended
she was enough for his limitless sexual appetite and she had known he was finding his pleasures elsewhere.

  Except for one night…the night she had conceived his child. A night she wished she could erase from existence. She had been sleeping when he’d come into their bedroom. He hadn’t said a single word as he’d whipped the sheets back and covered her body with his own. Stunned and still half asleep, she had opened her eyes to see the wild look on his face as he’d stripped her of her gown. She hadn’t struggled, hadn’t protested—she had simply endured his touch. Later, when he was spent, he’d left as quietly as he had come.

  A tear slid down Lona’s cheek and dropped onto Rafi’s temple. He groaned in his sleep as she wiped the moisture from his face. She took in several deep breaths as she pressed her free hand to her belly, trying to push back the unpleasant memories rushing to the surface. She remembered how he hadn’t been able to meet her eyes the next day, the unbearable tension between them. He had never verbally said, ‘I’m sorry’, but he’d made an effort to be civil…almost compassionate. She now knew the change in behaviour had been simply to get her to go along with his devious plan against the Djinn Brotherhood.

  Lona closed her eyes as she shook her head. It still didn’t make sense that Rue had been able to convince her that his plan was a good one. She didn’t condone violence, definitely not kidnapping, and yet…

  You watched him lock up Nadine, Karis’ mother, and stood by when he’d taken Karis.

  Her behaviour had been so out of character that she’d had a hard time believing herself capable of any of it.

  But I stood up to Rue in the end.

  That had to count for something.

  Hardly.

  Lona shuddered, consumed by her feelings of self-loathing.

  You deserved every dark day you had in that blank-walled cell the High Council put you in.

  Rafi wrapped his arm around her back, distracting her from her thoughts as his body heat burrowed through the chill in her bones. She was so tired, and the sound of his even breathing was music to her ears after months of hearing nothing and no one in the small cell in which she’d been held. More than anything, she just wanted to lie down beside him and sleep.