Because of You

by Maria E. Monteiro

  I wanted to go see Austin’s game, but I already missed the school bus that was taking everyone to Lakeview High. I’ll just have to meet him after the game.

  “Hey, you’re still here?” My mother asks walking inside the house.

  “Yeah, maybe Dad forgot this was his weekend.”

  “I doubt it. He called me yesterday to remind me. He probably had an emergence at work.”

  “What are you doing this weekend?” I ask.

  “You’re sister is coming over to go over the different venues. I hope she picks one soon.”

  “Shouldn’t I be here for that?” I ask hoping I can weasel out of going to my dad’s and going dress shopping with her instead.

  “Why?”

  “Well I am in the wedding and she is my sister.”

  “I’m sorry sweetie but this is your dad’s weekend.”

  Just as I’m about to make my point the doorbell rings. I open the door to see my father standing at the door. It’s so weird that he used to live here and just walk in and now he must ring the doorbell. He looks tired and overworked. I’m sure he’s working harder to pay for Trisha’s lavish lifestyle.

  “Sorry I’m late. I had a late client.”

  “Whatever. Let me get my bag.”

  “Hello Stewart,” my mom says coming to the door. “How are you?”

  “Good. How about you?”

  “Really good. I wanted to inform you I’m taking Carrie to look at venues tomorrow and I need to know how much you are willing to contribute towards our daughter’s wedding.”

  My dad looks up the dark sky as if it’s too painful to think of all of this. “I’m not sure. Can I call you later?”

  “Sure. But I need to know before tomorrow afternoon.”

  “No problem. I’ll call you tonight. I have to discus this with Trisha first.”

  “Of course you do,” my mother snaps, rolling her eyes. “I mean Trisha has nothing to do with Carrie’s upbringing, or anything, but if you must ask her first go ahead.”

  “Are you really going to start this right now?” My father asks running his fingers through his hair.

  “I’m not starting anything. I just want to know how much you are contributing to your daughter’s wedding that’s all. By now you should know how much you’re willing to spend. I mean she is your first born.”

  “Yes, my first born, who doesn’t want me at her wedding!”

  “That’s your fault. What did you think was going to happen after you made your choices?” My mother inhales deeply. “If you don’t want to pay for her wedding...”

  “I never said that. I’m going to pay, but I have to speak to Trisha first.” I know if I don’t get my father out of here this war of words will continue until one of them says something they’ll really regret.

  “I’m ready,” I say pushing past my mother out the door. “Bye Mom. I’ll see you on Sunday.” I grab my dad’s arm and begin to pull him towards the car.

  He looks over his shoulder and says, “I will call you later and let you know the budget.”

  “I’ll be looking forward to that call!” my mother calls out, and then slams the door so hard I swear the whole house shook.

  “Sometimes I really can’t understand your mother.”

  “Dad, I don’t wanna talk about your issues with Mom.”

  I get into his car and immediately change his radio station to something else. When I’m with Austin I don’t mind listening to all those old classic rock songs, but when I’m with my dad I change the station. I don’t want him to know I like his music. Instead I make sure to change the radio to a pop station that plays the same song every thirty minutes. I put up the volume hoping to avoid a conversation.

  My father gets in and presses the button on his steering wheel to lower the music just above a whisper. This sucks. Why can’t we just once ride without talking to each other?

  “How’s school?” he asks.

  “Good.”

  “Anything new going on since the last time I saw you?”

  “Not really.”

  “How are things with Austin?”

  “Good.” I wish he would stop asking me questions. This happens every time he picks me up and drops me off. It drives me crazy. He’s never going to understand our relationship will never return to what it used to be like.

  I answer all his stupid questions for the rest of the thirty-minute ride. By the time I walk into his house all I want to do is go into my room and wait for Austin to call me.

  “Hello Jade,” Trisha says rushing to the door. We do the same song and dance every time I come over. Just like my father she asks me a million stupid questions. I try to keep my conversations with her very simple, mostly because I don’t think she can comprehend more than one word answers.

  “Well I hope you’re hungry, I made a big pot of spaghetti and meatballs.”

  “I’m supposed to meet Austin after the game. I’ll get something to eat with him.”

  “No, you will not! Trisha made this dinner just for you,” My dad sternly says. “I’m sick and tired of you not eating at home after Trisha cooks for you.

  “I never asked her to,” I snap back.

  “It’s okay Stewart. Let her go eat with her boyfriend,” Trisha utters with her blue eyes displaying her pain.

  My dad shakes his head in anger. “This is the last time you do this. From now on when you come to this house you will eat dinner with us. Do you understand?”

  I nod without really moving my head. I hate my father so much. I wish he would stop making me come over here. I can’t wait until that stupid baby is born and he forgets all about me.

  I turn around and walk straight to my room. I hear his footsteps begin to follow me, but after only three steps he stops. I’m sure Trisha held him back. I can’t wait until Austin calls me and I can get the hell out of this horrible house.

  An hour later he show’s up at my father’s door like a knight in shinning amour, except his amour is his black and yellow football letterman jacket and jeans with holes at the knees. My father only manages to remind Austin about my curfew before I pull him out of the house.

  For the next three hours all I want to do is be in his arms where I always feel wanted and happy.

  “How was your game?” I ask him as he takes my hand into his.

  “Good. I made two touchdowns and ran over fifty yards.”

  “I’m so proud of you. I’m sorry I missed it.”

  “It’s okay. I’m really excited for next week’s game. You think you’ll be able to go to the game?”

  “Of course. But I’ll have to leave early to get dressed for the dance.”

  “No problem. As long as you’re there for part of it. I love looking up at the stands and seeing you there smiling. It makes it easier to deal with my dad.”

  I lean in and give him a kiss on the cheek.

  “Are you hungry?” he asks.

  “I’m starving.”

  “Good. You wanna go to Lou’s?”

  “Yes.” He brings my hand to his lips. This is all I look forward to each day, just spending time with him.

  Now that it’s become too cold to go to the beach after a game everyone comes to Lou’s Pizza Dive instead.

  Farrah comes running towards me as soon as we walk in. “You’re here!” She wraps her arms around my neck.

  “What’s going on?” I ask her.

  “Nothing. We’re all celebrating the football team’s win. Austin you were amazing tonight,” she says smiling. I wish I hadn’t missed the game.

  “Thank you. Well, I’ll let you ladies talk while I go try to find a table.”

  “Okay.” Austin leans in and gives me a sweet kiss on my cheek before he walks away.

  “He is too cute!” Farrah cheers. “Ohmigod Jade, I’m freaking out!”

  “Why?”

  “Julie broke up with that guy she was dating. What if she wants Josh back? I’m so scared.”

  “Don’t be scared. Josh is with you n
ow. You don’t have to worry,” I try to reassure her.

  “I hope you’re right. I don’t want to lose him after finally getting him.”

  “Farrah!” Josh calls her over to his table, which is full of other football players and their girlfriends including Leah.

  “You see. He’s in to you now. Don’t worry about Julia. Just go over there and enjoy your time with him,” I say, pushing her towards him.

  She smiles brightly. “Okay. I’ll talk to you later.” She runs off to sit with Josh, who happens to be sitting next to Garret. Great.

  He stares at me breathing heavily in and out. I quickly scan the table for Cara, but don’t see her.

  “There’s no empty tables,” Austin says joining me again.

  “We can go somewhere else.”

  “Hey Austin, come sit with us,” Derek yells out from the same table Farrah and Garret are at.

  “Do you mind?” he asks me. I want to say yes, but instead I say no.

  He puts his arms around my shoulders while we walk towards the table. I wish there was a way to get out of this.

  “Hi stranger,” Leah says with a flirty smile. Austin nods as he sits on the only empty chair. I really can’t stand her.

  He pulls me onto his lap. I feel awkward as I can feel Garret’s glare. The guys all begin to talk about the game while the girls at the table talk about the latest Vampire Diaries episode.

  I don’t join in either one of the conversations. Instead I turn to talk to Farrah, as I try to ignore Garrets eyes. “So where’s Logan tonight?”

  “I have no idea. I saw him really quickly after the game, but he didn’t say anything to me. He’s been so moody lately.”

  “He’s on a date,” Garret answers taking me by surprise.

  “With who?” Farrah asks looking as shocked as I am.

  “With some girl.”

  “Which girl?” I ask.

  “If he’d wanted you to know he would’ve told you. He told me cause we’re still friends. I don’t dump my friends like someone else I know.” Garret gets up slams his chair against the table and storms off making everyone around the table stop talking and stare at me.

  “What was that all about?” Austin asks.

  “I’ll be right back.” I get up and head outside to see if Garret is still out there.

  The part of me that used to be his friend too needs to make sure he’s okay. I step outside and find him standing on the corner. “What’s going on?” I ask stepping closer to him.

  “Nothing.” He marches towards me with anger in his grey eyes. “No, not nothing. Do you know how much it sucks to have to watch you with that loser?”

  “What? But you’re with Cara now.”

  “I’m not like you. I actually cared when we broke up. I was in love with you. I wanted you to react to losing me.”

  “But you broke up with me. Do we really have to go through this again?”

  “I broke up with you because you were acting so distant. You didn’t want to do anything,” he says shaking his head.

  “My parents were breaking up! I’m sorry I wasn’t peppy enough for you.” I can’t believe I’m still arguing with him over this.

  “You’re not having any issues being happy with that idiot. Did you even care for me?”

  “Garret what you and I had is in the past. You’re with Cara now...”

  “I’m not with Cara! I broke up with her.”

  “What? Why?” I ask not sure I really want to know.

  He steps closer to me and grabs my wrist, “Because I’m still in love with you.” Before I can pull away, Garret brings his lips close to mine. I know exactly what he wants to do. Before I can pull away I hear a door slam. With my heart beating fast I turn to see Austin standing in the doorway glaring at us.

  24

  Talking to the Enemy

  “What’s going on?” Austin asks with jaw tight. He looks as if he wants to kill Garret.

  “Nothing,” Garret says, and then turns around and storms off.

  My heart is beating so fast I swear it’s going to jump out my body. I look over at Austin. I’m so scared he thinks I wanted to kiss Garret.

  “It’s not what you think,” I try to reassure him.

  He nods and goes back inside. Why did I have to follow Garret out here?

  I walk back inside and find Austin saying goodbye to everyone. Farrah raises her eyebrows to ask me if everything is okay. I nod hoping it is.

  We walk back to his car side by side without holding hands or saying a word. He doesn’t open the door for me, which hurts as if someone punched me in the face. I get in hoping to find the right thing to say.

  “I’m sorry,” I finally utter.

  “For what?” His voice is tight.

  “For following Garret out there.”

  “It’s cool. He’s your ex. No big deal.” He turns the music up to end this conversation the same way I do in my father’s car.

  Austin’s body tense tighter with each minute that passes. I wish he would talk to me, but before I know it he pulls up in front of my father’s house. I sit in my seat trying to fight each tear wanting to escape my eyes. I wish I were staying at my house and not at my father’s this weekend.

  “Do you want to talk about it?” I ask scared he’ll leave still mad at me.

  “No. I’ll call you tomorrow.”

  “Okay.” I wait to see if he’ll lean in to kiss me, but he doesn’t. I open my door and begin to walk towards the front door. My heart pounds hard as I take each step hoping Austin will chase me the way he’s done so many times before, but he doesn’t. When I reach the door handle I hear his car speed away. I don’t understand how one minute we can be so happy and next so miserable. I never should have gone after Garret.

  I enter the house feeling broken. My father and Trisha are sitting in the living room watching a movie. I hear her giggle as my dad whispers in her ear.

  “You’re home early,” my father says realizing I’ve walked in.

  “Yeah. I was tired. Goodnight I’m going to bed.”

  “Goodnight,” Trisha calls out as I walk past them towards my room, which happens to be the only good thing about this house.

  I sit on my bed and rerun the whole night in my head. I should have pulled away from Garret a lot faster. There were so many things I could’ve done to prevent this. I really wish Austin hadn’t seen anything. Now I have no idea where our relationship stands.

  I can hear my dad and Trisha head upstairs. They are so happy together while I lie here miserable. My clock flashes 11:11 and I quickly make a wish that Austin forgives me. I need him to forgive me.

  I stare out the window and wonder what he’s doing now. Is he thinking about me? Does he hate me now? I can’t handle this. I pick up my phone and text him, I’m really sorry. Can we talk???

  I stare at my phone as my stomach clenches with agony with each second that pass and he doesn’t answer. I look at my clock again and see 12:33. He must be in bed already. At least that’s where I hope he is, and not in someone else’s arms. I have to believe Austin is not like that.

  Under my blankets I try my best to close my eyes, but no matter how much I try I can’t sleep. I turn to face my dark wall and finally allow my tears to stream down my face. Why did this have to happen? Why now when I’m so happy? I can’t lose him again.

  A quiet knock on my glass door startles me. I sit up afraid to face the door. Who can be here at one in the morning?

  “Jade, it’s me!” Austin says knocking again.

  I leap off my bed and open the French doors before anyone else hears him.

  “What are you doing here?” I ask with my heart uncontrollably banging against my chest.

  “I needed to talk to you. I’m sorry for being such a dick. When I saw Garret going to kiss you a switch went off in my head. I wanted to punch him in the face.”

  “Austin, I swear I wasn’t gonna let him kiss me.”

  “I know.” He brushes my hair off my face and then
brings his warm lips to mine making everything right again.

  I take his hand and lead him to my bed. We lie down and he tucks me close to his chest where I can hear his heart beat as fast as mine. Lying in his arm I feel happy again. I close my eyes and fall asleep.

  “Jade,” I hear Austin says as he lightly shakes me. I look up and see him staring at me with a glow in his eyes. Right behind him I notice the dark sky is disappearing as the October sun begins to appear. “I gotta go before your dad or his girlfriend wake up.”

  “I don’t want you to leave.”

  “I don’t wanna leave either, but I have to try to sneak back into my house. I’ll call you later.” He leans in and gives me the best, most amazing kiss ever. Then runs out the door.

  There’s no way I can go back to sleep now. I get up and head to the kitchen. The cold ceramic floor sends chills through my whole body. I grab a tall glass and pour myself orange juice.

  I sit at the table bringing my knees to my chest and just watch the sun complete its rise. His smell still lingers on my shirt making my heart race all over again. I’m falling so fast for him. There has to be an emergence stop I can pull somewhere, but at same time I don’t want to stop this. I only have a few months left with him all I want to do is enjoy them.

  “That smile can only mean one thing,” Trisha says, coming to sit at the table. I didn’t even realize she walked in.

  “Huh?”

  “Your smile. It could only mean one thing, you’re falling in love.”

  I want to deny it and tell her to mind her own business, but all I can do is smile wider.

  “I knew it. I’m so happy for you. Your dad and I really like Austin. I mean which girl would not want to fall in love with boy from across the street. It’s the stuff movies are made from.”

  “Yeah. I never thought I would feel like this for him again.”

  “Again?”

  Before I know it I open my mouth and begin to tell her everything. Even though every brain cell is warning me not to, reminding me she is the enemy and we do not share secretes with the enemy. But I can’t stop myself. I find it fun to have someone besides Farrah to talk to about all of this.