Dreamweaver (Hell Yeah!)

by Sable Hunter

  She’d had sex.

  With Judah James!

  OMG!

  When he returned, he held a cloth in his hand. “Let me.” He knelt on the end of the bed, his hand going to one of her knees to ease her legs open.

  “Oh, Judah, you don’t have to do that,” she protested softly as he began to soothe the warm rag between her legs.

  “I want to.” He kissed her knee. “I don’t want you to be sore.”

  Pepper felt so vulnerable, spread open and exposed. She could see him looking at her appreciatively and her nipples beaded in response. He saw this and smiled, leaning forward over her body to place a simple kiss on each swollen tip. “Thank you for letting me love you.”

  She felt her heart speed up, she had no regrets. “I loved it.” She wanted to say she loved him, but it was too soon and she was too shy. “I’m not sure what your schedule is, but we’re having a BBQ at the ranch weekend after next. I’d love for you to come.”

  He did some mental calculations, then gave her a wicked grin. “I wouldn’t miss it. You’re my girl, right? My muse. My dreamweaver.”

  Joy bubbled up inside Pepper. “Yes, I’d love to be your girl.”

  CHAPTER FOUR

  Another week or two passes.

  “Do you feel that others control what you think and feel?”

  Judah contemplated his answer. He wanted to tell the tight-ass woman where to get off, but he needed her evaluation to allay his own fears. “No more so than anyone else, I suppose. I pay taxes that I think are too high and I’m sitting here when I don’t think it’s absolutely necessary.”

  She gave him a tight smile and used her finger to mark something on a tablet. “Do you hear or see things that others do not hear or see?”

  Judah leaned back in his chair and crossed one leg over the other, pulling on the heel of his Uggs while he considered the merits of telling the truth over lying like a dog. “I can’t be sure,” he finally said. “I don’t have the ability to see through someone’s else’s eyes or hear through their ears. So, how can I be certain? Just like color blindness, who’s to know if any of us see the same hues and tones. Maybe my blue is your green.” Under the therapist’s steadfast, even gaze, as she waited for a serious response, Judah nodded his head. “Yea, I guess I do.” He shrugged. “I think creative people get their inspiration in different ways.” He chewed on his bottom lip, wishing he was still in Dallas with Pepper. Since his schedule was so tight, the doctor had arranged for him to undergo some of the testing by a lab here in San Francisco.

  She said nothing, just gave him another long look, then made more notations on whatever log she was keeping. “Do you feel it is very difficult to express yourself in words that others can understand?”

  Judah chuckled. Did this woman even know who he was? “I write songs that the whole world sings. I manipulate the emotions of women with my voice.” When she blushed, he grinned. “So, no, I have no difficulty expressing myself.”

  “Do others believe you when you tell them the things you see and hear?”

  He watched her brush a lock of hair behind her ear. This was the third time she’d made the same nervous gesture. “Other than my psychiatrist, I’ve only mentioned a couple of things to my best friend. He believed that I saw them, but like me, he doesn’t understand why.”

  “I see.”

  For some reason, her succinct answer angered him. She didn’t see. There was no way she could see. God, he needed Pepper. Just a few more days until the BBQ and he’d be with her again.

  “True or false? I can't trust what I'm thinking because I don't know if it's real or not.”

  Judah debated his answer. “I trust my thinking. There are times when I have to look twice or think about what I’m seeing, but I did exist before this all started, I know what’s real and what’s not.” Under his breath, he began to hum a song he’d penned the day before. He’d entitled it, Are You Real? To his confusion, since being with Pepper, he’d seen her almost every day. The doppelganger Pepper, not the real Pepper. There’d be moments, fractions of seconds when he questioned reality, but as convincing as the phantasm was, she was no substitute for the real woman. Closing his eyes, he tried to process his situation. Maybe, he should open up and talk to someone, tell them how these delusions he was suffering from…were beginning to make sense.

  “Do you have magical powers that nobody else has or can explain?”

  Judah couldn’t help it, this time he laughed. “Definitely, at least the women think so.” She glanced up at him sharply. “I take it you’re not a fan?”

  She went on to the next question. “Are others plotting against you?”

  “Just my drummer, he wants my car.”

  “Please, Mr. James. Try to be serious.”

  “Sorry.”

  “Are you treated unfairly because others are jealous of your special abilities?”

  “All the time.”

  She cleared her throat and went on. “Do you talk to another person or persons inside your head that nobody else can hear?”

  Bingo. “Yes, that’s why I’m here.”

  * * *

  “I can’t believe you invited Cato Vincent to our BBQ!” Heath paced across the room, hands on hips, his cowboy hat pushed back on his head. “I knew I should’ve never gone to that wedding. Nothing good ever happens at a wedding.”

  Pepper tried not to laugh, she knew his frustration stemmed from being left at the altar by his ex-fiancé. “We needed to go to the wedding, Heath. The Tebow McCoys are our family. This was our first chance to all be together.”

  Ryder and Pepper shared a glance before Ryder stepped in front of her irate brother. “Isaac and Avery had a beautiful wedding and Libby went into labor and delivered two precious baby boys. Plus, you met a gorgeous woman who seems to like you very much. Other than Isaac and Avery pledging their love to one another, I’d say three very good things came out of the wedding.”

  “The way you and Cato looked on that dance floor, I certainly thought you hit it off.” Jaxson smirked at Heath, leaning on the counter, his crutches against the wall.

  “Don’t worry.” Ryder patted Heath on the shoulder, playing her reverse psychology card. “Pepper invited several single guys, I’m sure Cato will find someone else and forget all about you.”

  Pepper’s eyes widened at her sister’s revelation. “I just invited Caesar Arness and Judah James.”

  “Caesar Arness! You know Jimmy doesn’t get along with Arness!” Heath protested loudly, taking his hat off and slapping his leg with it.

  “I don’t think Jimmy is the one who has it in for Arness,” Ryder muttered. “Didn’t you two have a falling out over a Beefmaster Bull?”

  Pepper was just glad she’d been able to make her announcement about Judah’s impending arrival without it receiving much notice. Heath had picked up on the name of his archrival, Caesar Arness, and ignored her potential bombshell about Judah completely. She’d told no one in the family any details about her trip to Dallas and she didn’t intend to do so. There were too many other things going on in the family for them to be concerned with what they all considered to be a mild infatuation on her part.

  As Heath told them how he’d found out about Cato’s invitation to the annual Highland BBQ, she slipped upstairs to do some thinking. She’d talked to Judah every night since they’d been together and she had no regrets about sleeping with him. Pepper was falling more in love with Judah James every single day. If everything went well this weekend, she planned on letting the whole clan in on the fact that they were dating. The family needed something to celebrate. Every time they turned around, something else seemed to go wrong. During the visit to Tebow to attend Isaac and Avery’s wedding, Tennessee had received some startling news, his short-time wife had called and informed him she was pregnant and that he was the father. What would come next, she couldn’t guess. So, she was determined to use this weekend as a time for everyone to get to know Judah a little better.

  On
ce she was in her room, Pepper stood in front of her dresser, staring at herself in the mirror. She looked normal. Unless, there was a difference in her eyes, she leaned closer to look more carefully. A new wisdom shone in them, perhaps. As she studied her reflection, roses bloomed in her cheeks as she recalled what they’d done together in that hotel bedroom. Shivers of remembered delight raised frissons on her skin. Oh, how he’d pleasured her. She closed her eyes and wrapped her arms about herself, wishing it was him who held her tight. Part of her wanted to tell Ryder, to share the knowledge that she now knew intimately, a secret known to women since the dawn of time – how it felt to be taken and possessed by the man they loved. But knowing Ryder’s circumstances, she was hesitant. Her sister was denying her own heart’s desire to protect her family.

  Pepper felt a little guilty, for she had denied herself nothing.

  And she would do it again, in a heartbeat.

  She loved her family, but she loved Judah more.

  * * *

  “Ivana Paul will be opening for us on tour?” Judah asked Reese Jerome as they boarded the bus to head to Oklahoma City. “Why am I just now hearing about this?”

  Reese didn’t stop walking until he was in the kitchenette. Opening the small refrigerator, he took out a beer and handed Judah one.

  “You know I don’t drink this time of day.” He rarely drank, if the truth be known. At parties, he’d sip on the same rum and coke for hours. Judah was doing everything in his power to curtail the irritating symptoms of whatever malady plagued him. The test results from the psychological profile had come back inconclusive.

  Inconclusive.

  What in the hell did that mean, anyway?

  He was scheduled to go through additional testing. They even wanted him to keep a damn daily journal of his experiences, even writing down details of things that had happened in the past.

  “So, what’s the scoop, Reese? I’m not so sure I approve of your choice.”

  “It wasn’t my choice, it was Ace’s.” Reese found a bottle of water for Judah and tossed it to him.

  They settled around the small table and Judah opened the bottle and took a long drink. “Ivana is some relation to Mickey Thomas, isn’t she?”

  “A niece.”

  “Ah, now I understand. She’s getting preferential treatment.”

  Reese held the neck of the bottle of beer between two fingers and swung it back and forth like a pendulum. “Her voice is good, she has a decent fan base, and she’s hot. What more do you want?”

  Judah shrugged. He just didn’t want to deal with her. She was pushy and aggressive. “No duets.”

  Reese chuckled. “Has she asked for one already?”

  “Yea, she approached me at a party about it. I don’t want to start anything like that with her. If she’s going to open, let’s have some clear-cut boundaries.” He took another drink of water. “And I don’t want her on the bus with us.”

  Reese frowned. “You’re going to run into a wall there, I’m sure the label will insist.”

  As the rest of the band boarded, Judah let it go. “We’ll talk about it later, Jerome.” He chunked the empty bottle into the garbage. “I’m gonna catch some shut-eye.”

  He headed toward his private quarters at the back of the bus, stopping only to confer with Zion. “Did you know about Ivana?”

  “Not until a few minutes ago. Is this going to be a problem? Do you want me to talk to Mickey?”

  “She’s his niece and they want her on the bus.”

  “Fuck.” Zion frowned, pulling his headphones from his jacket pocket. “We don’t really have separate accommodations for a female.”

  “Agreed.” Judah rubbed his eyes. “And she sure as hell ain’t sharing mine.”

  “How are you feeling? Any…episodes?”

  Judah shook his head. “Not since the mic stand challenged me to a duel this afternoon.”

  “Who won?”

  Judah flipped the bird at his best friend. “I did.” He hadn’t told anyone, but the frequency of the visions seemed to be escalating. It wasn’t the talking houses or chatty sound equipment that bothered him, it was the visitations by people who he took to be flesh and blood when they weren’t – that was what unnerved him. And the worst part, was that these manifests were making sense to him. They didn’t talk nonsense, the people he hallucinated passed on reasonable, sometimes useful information. Judah didn’t know what the hell was going on. To his own shock, he found himself wanting to talk to a professional about it. The only comfort he could give himself was the old adage ‘if you think you’re crazy, you’re not’.

  Well, if he wasn’t crazy, he was well on his way.

  Even more disturbing was the fact that Pepper was his most frequent visitor. Judah struggled with what it all meant, why this was happening to him. He couldn’t help but wonder if her spectral twin would come to him if he had the real woman at his side. Somehow, he doubted it. Her haunting presence only made him long for Pepper more. The only redeeming factor was the music that came with her appearances, he’d never known greater inspiration. His creative juices were flowing, he’d written six new songs in two days.

  As if reading his thoughts, Zion asked, “How’s Pepper?”

  “She’s good. I’m about to go call her.” He held up his phone.

  “Tell her hi for me.” Zion put his headphones on and slapped Judah’s arm. “It’ll all work out.”

  “Yea, it’ll all work out,” Judah repeated.

  Easier said than done.

  * * *

  “What’s wrong, Judah?” Ivana Paul plopped down on the seat next to him. Her shoulder nudging his, her hand coming over to his thigh, fingernails raking along the inner seam.

  He leaned to the left, crossing his leg to dislodge her touch. “Nothing you should be concerned about.”

  If she detected the censure in his voice, Ivana ignored it. She’d joined the tour that morning and tonight would be their first performance on the same stage, then they’d have a three-day break before returning to the road. Judah had voiced his displeasure to no avail, his wishes had not prevailed.

  “What do you think about a duet, me and you?”

  “We’ve already discussed this and my answer is the same. No, thanks. I don’t think I could harmonize with a female voice.” Total bullshit, but he didn’t want to encourage her.

  With a sultry giggle, she dragged a finger across his chest. “I wasn’t talking about singing, I was thinking of making music in the bedroom.”

  Judah stood up. “I’m in a relationship.”

  Without looking back, he went to his area and closed the door, locking it behind him. If this was the way it was going to be on the road with Ivana, he was in for a miserable time.

  Lying back on the bed, he picked up the journal that he’d been writing in. It had only been a little over a week, but the sheer number of entries and memories floored him.

  “What are you thinking about, Judah?”

  He jerked around and saw Pepper standing there, wearing the same thing she’d worn the night he’d made love to her in Dallas. She looked incredible, beautiful, and as real as anyone else. But she wasn’t. “Why is this happening to me?”

  She shook her head. “I don’t know. I just come when you need me. Can you tell me what’s bothering you?”

  “I don’t need you, I need Pepper. You’re in my head. I need for you to go away and leave me alone.” Judah rolled over, giving the vision his back.

  She didn’t fade away, for a few seconds later, she answered.

  “I don’t know how. I come when you beckon me.”

  Judah shut his eyes and willed his mind to be blank.

  His visitor said no more.

  * * *

  “How do I look?” Pepper turned in a circle, awaiting her sister’s verdict.

  “You look pretty, as always. I love that outfit.” Ryder assured her, admiring the blue linen pantsuit that matched Pepper’s eyes. “Where’s Cato?”

  Th
e girls had returned to the house to bring out the last couple of desserts they needed to transfer to the buffet tables. They were ecstatic that Cato Vincent was here for the BBQ. “She’s outside talking to Jimmy.”

  “Did you see how Heath was watching her when he thought no one was looking?” Pepper asked, ever the romantic. “I think she’s amazing. She doesn’t let anything hold her back.” They’d both been surprised to learn Cato was deaf. “She reads lips so well, it’s hard to tell she can’t hear.”

  “I think she’d be so good for our brother, I want him to be happy.” Ryder added the last dollop of icing to a homemade chocolate cake.

  “We’ve got a record crowd, I think.” Walking to the window, Pepper gazed into the distance, watching their friends and neighbors arrive in everything from fancy cars to farm trucks. There were even a few limos in the parking lot and a helicopter or two in the back yard.

  “Have you heard from Judah?”

  “Yes, I have,” Pepper said, with obvious excitement in her voice. “He’s driving over from Houston. He should be here soon.” They’d talked the night before. The smile faded from her face. He’d seemed so tired. “I hope he can take a few days off. I think this tour is running him ragged.”

  “So, you two have become closer, haven’t you?”

  Ryder’s question didn’t take Pepper by surprise. She knew she couldn’t hide what was going on from her sister for very much longer. And she didn’t want to. After today, she’d tell her everything. Pressing her hand over her heart, Pepper tried to quell the rush of anticipation. She was so in love! “We’ve talked quite a bit, yes.” Her understatement made Pepper blush.

  “So much has been going on with Philip and Ten, I haven’t paid enough attention to you.” Ryder continued her conversation as she placed the cake in a covered container. “What happened at the concert in Dallas? Did you get to go backstage and talk to him there?”

  “Yes, I…was able to spend a little time with him. His star is rising fast, I’m surprised he was able to take time off to come to the BBQ.”