Skin

by Dale Mayer

  Weird.

  He took several larger steps to walk beside her, and she stopped trying to look behind her while she walked.

  He wondered if she’d been attacked from behind at some point. He hadn’t noticed this behavior before, but then he wasn’t sure, and he cast his mind back to try and remember if he’d ever been behind her. He had, but he’d been a ways behind, like earlier this afternoon when she raced back to the hotel, not on her heels like this. And that appeared to be the problem.

  He filed the tidbit away for later. He’d seen enough victims in his life to recognize some of the signs, but Tania was different. There were some things she couldn’t hide, like when they’d first met. He was used to his size raising eyebrows. He’d also experienced some uncomfortable shuffling away when he sat down, like on an airplane, where people expected him to take up more than his single seat.

  But in her case, she’d had the same reaction to him whether he’d been standing or sitting. As she was tiny, he figured she just felt dwarfed.

  He’d seen it before. Some women liked a big man because it made them feel small and protected, while other women felt overpowered.

  She reached over and pushed the elevator button, and then stepped back to give him space.

  It was starting to piss him off.

  When the elevator arrived, he stepped in first and slouched against the back wall, crossing his arms across his chest. He wouldn’t want her to think he was going attack her in here.

  The small elevator moved swiftly, but not fast enough for him to miss the worried glances she shot his way. He stared at the ceiling, feeling the same old burn inside build as old anger issues came to the forefront. His mood went downhill quickly as past grievances swamped him.

  Damn females. Why couldn’t they just be honest? Instead, they did this dance back and forth, always sending a guy from one side to the other. Being liars and cheats naturally, he figured the chances of finding a straight-arrow female to be impossible. It wasn’t in their DNA. They were naturally wily and were born to manipulate. Most used their beauty to blind the poor male they were currently with.

  Tania was a prime example, sending out all the right signals then immediately changing those signals so he had no clue what was going on. She was attracted to him, no way he could have missed those signals, but to look at her now…Christ.

  The door opened at the restaurant lobby level. She walked out and headed to the restaurant, with another group stepping between them. They must have come from the stairwell. He was hungry, but at this point he wasn’t sure he could eat. He stepped out of the elevator, walked to the front door, and stepped outside. The sun was still high, but with the buildings around, there were long shadows deepening the sky.

  “Kane?”

  He stiffened. Jenna. Of course, she’d be the one to find him. He was in a perfect mood to give her hell, too. He turned and stared at her, his jaw clenching at the narrow assessing gaze she locked on him.

  “Hey.” He tried for casual and curious.

  And understood when her all seeing, all knowing gaze narrowed even more that he’d failed. He sighed then straightened. “What’s up?”

  “How are you doing?” she asked calmly as she walked a few steps closer. “I don’t see you looking for dinner yet. Not hungry?”

  He was hungry, but food wouldn’t satisfy this appetite. Damn Tania. With a sigh, knowing the therapist would see what she’d see, he said, “I was just getting a little fed up with Little Miss Rabbit always backing away, staring behind her as if afraid I was ready to attack at any moment.”

  Jenna’s eyebrow shot up. “I hadn’t realized she felt so intimidated. She’s been doing so well.”

  That made him feel like shit, and he was a fair guy. “She is.”

  The therapist studied him for another moment, her expression lightening with understanding. “Ah. So maybe you’re the problem.”

  He glared at her. “I’m fine.”

  She smiled. “I’m glad to hear that.” She linked arms with him and tugged him back toward the restaurant. “I haven’t eaten. Come and join me.”

  He didn’t bother resisting. He was here to get help and as she’d said, he was the problem.

  And that just sucked.

  Before he knew it, he was seated at a table and ordering dinner. And damn if Tania wasn’t seated next to him.

  Had Jenna arranged that on purpose? He shot her a questioning look.

  She smiled, reached over, and patted his arm. “Enjoy. The food here is a delight.”

  Tania, from the other side, leaned forward and said, “It is indeed. I’m really enjoying the visit here. It’s a lovely location for healing.”

  Jenna leaned in closer to talk to Tania as if he wasn’t there. He leaned back so they could see each other while they spoke across him.

  Then when the faintest whiff of Tania’s perfume drifted across his face, that was when he recognized he really didn’t want to be anywhere else.

  Chapter 8

  What was Kane’s problem? Tania had hoped he had not noticed her flustered state as they came down. He’d seemed normal enough, yet when she’d come walking into the restaurant worrying about where she should sit – beside him or a long ways away – she found out he hadn’t followed her in.

  Talk about a letdown. She’d been staring at the damn entranceway watching for him since.

  When he’d sat down beside her, she’d been delighted until she realized he’d sat at the last empty chair and then had seemed surprised to see her beside him.

  So much for the hope that he might be attracted to her. He didn’t even know she existed.

  Determined to be friendly regardless, she pasted a smile on her face and kept it there. Robin was on the other side. Halfway through dinner, Robin caught her eye and motioned toward the washroom. Taking her cue, Tania excused herself and followed Robin to the ladies’ room.

  As soon as the door closed behind them, Robin exploded. “What is going on with you?”

  Tania stared at her in shock. “Huh?”

  “Your face has been a movie all through dinner. You sat down and looked happy, then looked around and your face fell. Jenna and Kane walk in and you light up. Then something odd happened and you looked like you’d taken a major hit. Now, it’s as if you’re trying to hide something or trying to avoid something…hell…I don’t know…but it’s like you’re trying too hard to not be affected by whatever is bothering you.”

  With the outburst over, she leaned against the counter and dropped her head back. “Normally, I wouldn’t say anything, but whatever is going on has to do with Kane, and damn it, girl, you are a guppy in a sea of sharks. And Kane could turn out to be the king of the Great White Sharks.”

  In a small voice, Tania said, “I was that obvious?”

  “Yes, you were,” Robin said in a short voice. “I know we’re all here dealing with shit. And it’s private shit. Hell, I don’t want all my dirty laundry hanging out for everyone to see, but you’re glowing like a kid right now.”

  Tania walked over so she could stare into the mirror. There was no glow now, only bruises. This day had been tough, and it looked like it wasn’t over. She didn’t know what to say; surely the red all over her face said enough. Robin turned to stare at her in the mirror.

  She sighed, and in a much gentler voice, she said, “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you. But your erratic behavior is like a neon sign. It never does any good to let a man know you are too interested. Interested, yes, but that you have no resistance to the attraction – no.”

  “It’s all so difficult. I’ve never felt anything like this. Hadn’t ever expected to, and now… now, I have no idea how to handle it.” She ran her fingers through her hair, wanting to grab on and pull it out. “Apparently I’m not doing a good job of it.”

  “Just relax. Be yourself. Don’t try to impress him. Don’t worry if he doesn’t like something you say or do. All relationships are improved when the two people involved are honest, both
with themselves and each other.”

  Robin studied her own features in the mirror. “Before this,” she motioned to the ruined side of her face, “I had several really good relationships. Keeping a relationship going is an art…maybe that’s where I fall down. But you have to get one to learn how to keep it. And you’re sending off signals that would confuse the hell out of any guy.”

  Tania’s mouth fell open. “Wait. You just said I was too eager.”

  “And too confused. He wasn’t there the whole time, so he didn’t see the gambit of emotions flashing across your face for the last hour. Just calm down. If it’s meant to be, it’s meant to be.” She shrugged.

  “And the shark and guppy comment?” Tania said drily. Inside, she just felt tired, like her first foray had been bad enough that she should go to her room and forget all about Kane.

  “He’s a big, sexy male, and he knows it. You are a tiny, sexy female, and you don’t know it.”

  Tania smiled. “I can see that.”

  “Sharks have their purposes in the ecosystem, too. Maybe he’s learning to be a relationship man… Look, all I’m saying is I wouldn’t want you to jump into anything and get hurt.” She walked to the door. “Now, let’s go finish our meal.”

  With the second person in as many hours warning her to tread carefully, Tania realized they just might know what they were talking about. Subdued, she returned to her chair and finished her plate.

  “Tania, are you ready for a session tonight?”

  Unfortunately, Jenna’s question appeared to fall into a moment of silence at the table.

  Tania froze. She worked to keep her face calm, but inside, her mind screamed hell no! The last thing she wanted was a third woman warning her to back off. She’d gotten the message. She chewed slowly while she considered her answer. The therapist would analyze everything she said, a failing of the profession.

  “I’m really tired tonight. How about in the morning?” she said quietly.

  She felt the heat of Jenna’s gaze as she cut up a piece of chicken and ate it. When she raised her gaze to look at the therapist, Jenna smiled. “Sure, sounds good. How about a breakfast meeting? 7-ish?”

  “That’s early, but sure…at least I’ll be awake for tomorrow’s class.”

  Jenna smiled. “Good. Until the morning then.” With a smile at everyone, Jenna stood up and took her leave.

  Almost instantly, a tension Tania hadn’t been aware of before eased. The teacher left the room and the kids were now relaxing. She grinned.

  “Hey, what are you smiling at?” Robin asked with a big smile. “You appear to be in a good mood.”

  “Yeah, I pushed that meeting off until the morning.” Tania grinned. Maybe she shouldn’t have, but she needed rest from the emotional overload, and a part of her wanted to see if Kane had plans for the evening and if they included her. As that was the wrong thing to be waiting for, she decided to go up to her room. Standing up, she excused herself. “I have homework to do.”

  Kane looked up at her. “Are you going to go through the pictures?”

  She nodded. “Yes, to see if I can find any worth keeping.”

  “Do you need help?” he asked, half-straightening from his chair.

  “No.” At the surprised look on his face, she gave a small laugh. “At least not at this stage. There are hundreds of shots, and I’m most likely to delete ninety percent of them. When the numbers get down to something reasonable, then I’ll show you and you can go through the ones I think might work.”

  He grinned. “In other words, you don’t want me to see the less-than-stellar pictures.”

  “So true.” She waved goodbye to the others and headed up to her room. Once inside, she brought out her laptop and started downloading the pictures. She had no idea how many she’d taken; only that she’d gone madly click-happy. The file was huge. She walked to the side counter and made herself a cup of coffee. She could have stayed longer, but she was happy to have time alone, time to find her balance again. Having one’s behavior pointed out took a bit of adjustment. At twenty-four, she wasn’t a kid any longer, but apparently she still didn’t know how to behave in public. She could put the blame for that squarely on Kane’s shoulders.

  Kane’s beautiful shoulders.

  If she had to do a photography class and would not be able to choose her own subject, Kane made a hell of a second choice.

  Hell, who was she kidding, Kane was her first choice.

  Finally, the file was downloaded. She sat down with her coffee, opened her image program, and quickly started sorting through the pictures. She did a quick go-through and deleted the ones that were obviously junk, then went back through the remaining hundred. She created a file titled “Project” and dropped several good images into that folder. There was one of Kane standing and staring at the sailboat. She loved the way the camera had caught the wistfulness in his eyes. She plowed through the next group and picked out a couple that caught his hard jaw as he stared at something off screen. She chose the images that spoke to her. They said something about Kane, the man. The camera loved him, making it that much harder to sort through the last thirty images in the file. When she was done, she turned her attention to the group of pictures she’d taken while he’d worked out.

  That was when she understood how the camera not only loved Kane, but that his body was made for this. All the beautifully defined muscles, the ripples as they moved and shifted…she wished for the first time that she had a video camera. He was a man in motion. Such a connection. In one shot, his jaw clenched, and his eyes were so focused. There was one of his bicep, the muscle so smooth and shiny but hard and tense with the effort he was exerting.

  She put one of her favorite photos into a different folder she named “Special”. Kane had just finished the workout; he’d collapsed back down to the mat. In her mind, she remembered the heaving chest, the quivering look at the hard muscle, but it was the look of relief, the look of pride, and that tinge of complacency as he realized he’d done it. He’d managed to complete his physically punishing workout again. He hadn’t let it beat him.

  She knew it was a competition for him. A challenge to see if he was up to it or if he was going to wuss out. He would not appreciate her thoughts, she was sure, but he had such a sense of satisfaction around him that she could only cheer with him. As she went through the pictures from start to finish, it was as if she was there all over again. Seeing the pain, the effort he exerted, hearing the grunts and gasps as he struggled to make his body do what he wanted it to do.

  His skin glowed in one particular picture. She considered it, wondering at the light that hit and bounced off his skin. A sheen of sweat had appeared just before she’d taken the shot and as she studied the next couple of pictures, she understood that the reflection had added something else to the picture. Like a mirror of what he was doing to himself.

  She loved this one. Setting it aside, she moved through several more, but they were more mundane, showing his actions but not the highs and lows, not the emotion or the effort. They were technically good, but flat. She set them into another folder she named “Kane”.

  She wouldn’t be keeping them but as they were good shots, just not great shots, she’d let him see them and decide for himself.

  There were still a few more. Another one had an interesting light as it hit Kane’s back and the muscles gleaming in the shadows. Very inspiring.

  She snorted. Who was she kidding? The man was damn sexy and maybe there was something wrong with her, but the sweaty, hardworking man apparently did it for her.

  Who knew?

  And wasn’t that something? She savored the warmth. Screw that, savored the heat coursing through her body as she stared at the pictures of Kane. Salivating was a bit much, but she had to admit, she wanted a taste of him.

  She’d never thought to have gotten this far. Now that she had, everyone was warning her away.

  Would having an affair with Kane be wrong? No.

  And as she stared do
wn at him, reality once again crashed down on her. She could sit here and dream all she wanted; it was still a hell of a long ways from actually lying down with the man.

  She buried her face in her hands. She was a mess.

  Of course she was. She was here in a goddamned therapy session, wasn’t she?

  Wiping back the tears from the corner of her eyes, she finished sorting through the pictures. As she came back to the one that had set her off earlier, she copied it into a folder she named “Secret”. She almost felt dirty doing it, but if there was only one thing she could take away from this week, it was these pictures of Kane. Although he hadn’t said she could keep them after the project was done.

  Sighing, she went to turn off her laptop when there was a casual knock on her door.

  She stood up and walked to the door. “Who is it?” she asked. She hated peepholes and never used them to look outside. She’d seen too many movies showing horrors on the other side of the damn door.

  “Kane.”

  Oh shit.

  She straightened her shirt, brushed her hair back off her face, and opened the door. “Hey.”

  He smiled down at her. “Just came to see if you got through those photos. We’re both in the project, remember? You don’t have to do all the work.”

  She laughed. “No, I won’t. I’m still not sure what this damn project is supposed to be or how it’s going to help.”

  He started to step inside before he stopped and looked at her. “May I come in?”

  *

  Tania took a deep breath and stepped aside. She followed him into her room. Here was another first. She’d never had a man in her bedroom, and she’d never had a man this close in a very long time.

  “I’d like to see the pictures you took.”

  She nodded and disconnected her laptop. “Fine. Do you want to go to the coffee shop and look at them?”

  He tilted his head and motioned to the small table where the laptop rested. “I thought I could just look at them here. It won’t take long, will it?”

  Disconcerted, she plugged in her laptop in. She shook her head. “No, it shouldn’t. I deleted the bulk of them.” She bent down, found the folder, and opened it.