Watching Fireflies

by Jaycee Ford

  “Lance is rubbing off on you a bit, Tom.”

  I laughed as she headed off to the other side of the bar.

  The smile didn’t leave my face with her departure. I sipped my beer as I watched a sports news show on the TV. Images from moments ago flashed through my mind. I couldn’t believe I could call such an amazing woman my own. Her shocked expression when I had said she didn’t need to return the favor raised a question. I chalked it up to how she was treated before. The smile fell from my cheeks when I thought of her life before we met. I just prayed I would always be in it from now on. I would fall asleep with her tonight and wake up with her in the morning, but it still didn’t feel complete. Something was missing.

  Is it too soon to ask her to move in with me?

  A smile eased up my face again. I rarely dated girls longer than a month, and after a few months with Jordan, I was ready for a commitment of vast proportions. It just seemed right. Maybe I would give it a week or two, but I was confident in my decision.

  “Ma’am, could I have a draft?”

  I turned my head to the side as someone sat down a barstool away from me. He turned his eyes toward me and I could swear he looked familiar, but I just couldn’t place him. I nodded in his direction and he replied, “Hey. How’s it going?”

  “It’s going well, and yourself?” I didn’t want to talk, but Aunt Et taught me better than to just brush someone off.

  Mrs. Betty placed a beer down in front of this guy and he took a sip before he answered.

  “It could be better, I suppose.” His accent wasn’t quite country, but he was definitely from the south.

  “Woman troubles?” I asked to pass the time and glanced back at the TV.

  “You can say that.”

  I felt his stare on me and right away I disliked him. I took a sip of beer in an attempt to ignore it, but I glanced back at him. Instead of looking away, he lifted up his beer in a mock cheer and took a sip. I wanted to move away, but I didn’t want to seem rude. I’d just rather not talk to every Joe who passed through our town.

  “Did she ditch you for another guy?” I sounded smug, but I didn’t know why. I didn’t know this guy. What would it matter if I did?

  “You can say that.” He repeated his answer from a moment ago, but it wasn’t as nonchalant this time. I cocked my eyes at him as he clenched his jaw. He cleared his throat as his voice changed back to casual. “Know of any good restaurants around here?”

  I wasn’t about to tell him to go to The Inn for dinner. I didn’t want him in my town, whoever this guy was. “Not so much around here. Might have to drive up north to Lenoir. It’s a bigger town.”

  “Good to know.”

  I glanced back at the TV, hoping he would get the hint, but he continued like any annoying guy would at a bar. “So, you from around here?”

  “Close by.” I sipped my beer, pretending to be really engrossed in the commentary before the Thursday night NFL game. The Chiefs and the Broncos didn’t affect the Panthers’ standings, so it really didn’t matter too much to me.

  “Excited for the game tonight?” What is with this guy?

  “It’s football. It’s no Panthers, but it’ll do.”

  “My girl was really into football.”

  I took a sip of beer to disguise my annoyance and kept my eyes on the TV, even though his never moved away from me.

  “Yeah, it’s the south. Chicks dig football down here.”

  He laughed and I sipped my beer again. He shifted from his seat and tossed down a ten dollar bill.

  “Thanks for the chat. Lenoir, you said?”

  I nodded, not wanting to engage in the conversation anymore.

  “Yep. Up north on the highway.” Anywhere but here would be good. He slapped my back.

  “See you around, buddy.”

  Jesus, I hoped not.

  My phone beeped and I flipped it open to a text from Paul.

  We’ll meet y’all at the Silver Bullet. Ellie is running late.

  I turned around and watched the weird guy exit the bar. I quickly typed Jordan a message.

  I’ll come get you. Stay put.

  I didn’t want her wandering down the street with people like him slinking around.

  THE WALK BACK down to The Inn was faster than the walk to Dixie’s. The way that guy’s eyes had devoured every girl that passed him on the way out of the bar made me uneasy. I had a bad feeling about him. I slowed my walk as I dug out my phone. I flipped it open and dialed Caleb’s number. After a few rings, he answered.

  “Caleb Harris.”

  “Caleb. It’s Tom McCloud.” I came to a stop in front of the door to The Inn.

  “Hey, Tom. What’s up?”

  I exhaled to rid some of the concern in my voice. “Can you run a check on Ryan Gordon?”

  “Can I ask why you want to know?”

  “There was some douche at the bar earlier and it threw up a red flag. I can’t remember exactly what Ryan looked like, so I figured I’d ask you to check on it.”

  He paused for a moment as I heard what sounded like papers shuffling in the background, and he asked, “Is this Jordan’s ex?”

  “Yeah, she had some issues with him when she first moved here, but he seemed to have been quite for a while. It’s just that guy really threw me off.”

  “I’ll look into it right away.”

  “Thanks, man.” I closed my phone and opened the front door to The Inn. The fact that this entrance stayed unlocked all of the time made me a little anxious, but at least there was a deadbolt on all of the rooms and my aunt and uncle’s apartment. I exhaled, realizing that a deadbolt wouldn’t save anyone. I shook my head. This was a night for my girl, and I wanted to show her a good time without the stress that she had just managed to get rid of.

  I parked the truck at The Inn since the four of us were going together, but since the other half of the party was running late, I was going to drive Jordan to dinner first and then meet up with Paul and Ellie at Silver Bullet. I took two steps at a time up to the third floor. I knocked on her door but she didn’t answer. I tensed up, listening for any sounds of distress coming from inside her room. It was quiet. I looked up and down the hall to make sure no one was lingering around, and I knocked again a little louder. Thankfully, the door flew open then.

  “Calm down, cowboy. I was in the bathroom.”

  I wrapped my arms around her, pulling her as close to me as I could. She hugged me back and felt the tension in me, “What’s wrong, Tom?”

  “I just missed you. I don’t like leaving you.” I faked a smile in hopes of disguising the concern in my voice. I didn’t want to worry her if there was nothing to be concerned about. She had been through so much already.

  “So, why am I not meeting y’all at Dixie’s?” She pulled out of our hug a little and I couldn’t help melting in her stare. I never questioned why Ryan still wanted her. He was just never going to get her.

  “Ellie was running late, which more than likely means another hour.” I pulled her close to me again and whispered, “So, I figured you and I could have our own date before we join them.”

  “You’re only allowed to rip one clothing item a day, and two are now in the trash.”

  I cackled at her statement. I loved this woman so damn much.

  “Food, Ms. Hawthorne. Get your mind out of the gutter.”

  • • •

  We drove a bit down the highway as I tried my best to not worry about the events that had happened earlier this evening. Jordan told me about some teacher drama at the community college, but thankfully, she wasn’t involved. After pulling into a parking spot, I hopped out to help her down from the truck, but before I could get to the door, her cowboy boots smashed against the gravel.

  “You can help me the next time I wear a skirt. Sound good?”

  I threaded my fingers with hers as I walked just a half of step behind her. Jeans sculpted her ass in such a way that it was hard not to stare. I heard a whistle after a slam of a car door,
and then I made sure to walk directly behind her.

  This barbeque joint was a little hole in the wall, but the pulled pork brought people in truckloads. We sat near the back as a waitress took our orders of sweet tea and pulled pork sandwiches. I stared at Jordan as she looked out of the window into the night.

  “What are your plans after the semester, darlin’?” My heart was already so far gone. I had to know if she had still planned on just the one semester. She moved her hands to her lap as she looked down at the table and then back up to me.

  “I think I’d like to stay here. I feel like I’m putting a lot of faith in our short relationship. I have a track record of moving too fast in these situations, but I trust my heart, and I want to stay here with you.”

  A weight lifted off my shoulders. I reached out my hand for hers, and she lifted it from her lap to place it inside of mine.

  “Are you happy here?” I squeezed her hand gently.

  “I’m happy being with you. I want to be where you are.”

  “I love you, Jordan.” And as if on cue, two pulled pork sandwiches appeared in front of us. “And I love me some pulled pork.”

  She laughed as she smothered her sandwich with barbeque sauce. I was going to enjoy watching her lick the sauce off her fingers when she was done.

  • • •

  The crowd at Dixie’s on a typical Thursday was impressive, but the massive crowd at Silver Bullet was pure insanity. This was like Dixie’s on a Saturday and the fourth of July rolled into one. Jordan and I walked into the bar and immediately adjusted to the noise and the crowd, but then I heard her gasp beside me and she grabbed my arm.

  “What? What?” I started to freak out. This Ryan situation was getting on my nerves.

  “They have a mechanical bull!” I started to laugh to cover up my relief. “Can I ride it?” she asked, her eyes big like a kid in a candy store.

  “Why are you asking me?”

  “Well, I don’t know,” she said as I pulled her hips to me with her lips so close to mine.

  “You feel like ridin’?” I asked as she mimicked my smirk.

  “Not so much a bull, but maybe a cowboy.” Sexy as hell.

  “God, I love you.” I pressed my lips to hers, and on breaking our kiss, I patted her ass. “Go get up there!”

  Jordan grinned and wove her way through the people surrounding the ring, with me following close behind. The attendant was running through a list of rules as I got up close to the railings. After Jordan nodded, she signed a release form and hopped up onto the mat surrounding the mechanical beast. She held onto a rope, and with one jump, she hoisted herself up onto what was called a bull; no legs or head, just a sturdy body made of rubber. She adjusted her legs and got a firm grip on the rope.

  “You ready?” the attendant yelled out to her. She smiled and nodded as she kept her eyes focused on her grip. The beast began to move, and just watching her hips flex to such a slow rhythm, my jeans instantly became tight. The machine shook and twitched, Jordan’s breasts bouncing to the beat. I glanced around the ring, and, of course, every guy was staring. Some took pictures, which made me very uncomfortable. Jordan was my girl. I didn’t want pictures of her on the internet, but I did nothing more than glare at a few and enjoyed the show with the rest of them. The good thing about it, she was coming home with me.

  “Oh my God. Is that Jordan?” Ellie piped up from behind me and wiggled her way next to me.

  “I can’t watch this! I’m going to get a pitcher and a table.” Paul was the only man in this place not watching my girlfriend ride the bull, and I was thankful. If it was Lance, he would be watching like everyone else.

  The bull stopped kidding around and began bucking like a normal one would. Jordan held on to the rope with both hands, her knees gripping the sides of the beast. I winced when it threw her around harder. I was sure she would get bruised up. Maybe we would soak in the tub later. After another jerk, I was positive that we’d soak in the tub later and I would probably forfeit on collecting the favor from earlier. The beast stopped in mid-air, throwing Jordan off its back and into the padded railing. She jumped up quick and threw her hands in the air. The hoots and hollers from the crowd lasted until she moved out of the ring. I ran over to the exit and scooped her up into my arms, kissing her hard for everyone to see.

  “That was incredible! I didn’t know you could ride like that.”

  Her cheeks darkened as she pulled at my shirt. “Sure you do. I ride you all the time.”

  She returned the kiss, and from the way she ignored the crowd around us, I figured I had a small chance on collecting that favor after all.

  “Paul found a table,” Ellie said as she met us by the exit of the bull riding ring. Jordan released her hold of me and linked arms with Ellie. I followed behind, making sure no one stared at my girl’s ass. Paul sat at a four top with a pitcher and four chilled pint glasses. When we got there, he stood and pulled a chair next to him for Ellie to sit. I did the same for Jordan, and as soon as I sat down, I pulled Jordan and her chair closer to me, resting my hand on her crossed knees. Paul poured us all a glass of beer.

  “I’ll get the next round,” I offered. We would probably go back and forth like this all night. He nodded as he took a sip. People were already dancing, but this wasn’t our normal crowd. We needed to ease into it slowly.

  “Why were y’all running late?” As Jordan asked the question, my phone vibrated in my pocket with a text. I adjusted my hold on her knee and dug out my phone while Ellie answered.

  “This weird dude came into the boutique asking all these questions, and I was just like, are you going to buy something or just keep talking?”

  I flipped open my phone and saw a text from Caleb.

  Pulled in a few favors. He hasn’t been to work in over a week. My stomach bottomed out.

  “He kept asking about what schools were in the area and if I knew any of the teachers,” Ellie said with a look of disgust.

  I rubbed Jordan’s leg, hoping that she wouldn’t get too anxious from Ellie’s encounter. I had only just gotten her to the point that she didn’t constantly worry he would show up.

  “I had to pretty much throw the guy out. What a douche!” Paul said as he shook his head and chugged the rest of his beer.

  “I need a ladies room. Ellie, come with?” Jordan asked as they both stood from the table.

  I squeezed her hand before she left, and asked, “Can I use your phone? This flip phone shit doesn’t have the internet.”

  She pulled it out of her purse and handed it to me.

  “Whatcha need it for?” she asked before leaving.

  “I was just going to check what time the band comes on.”

  She smiled that beautiful smile of hers and my heart sank. It had to be him. Jordan and Ellie left for the bathroom and I swiped the screen, unlocking the phone.

  “Dude,” Paul said, “there is no band on Thursday nights here.”

  I tapped open her social media app.

  “I know.” I waited impatiently for the internet to work.

  “Then what are you doing?” Paul asked, not waiting one damn minute.

  “Just hang on.” My knee bounced as the anxiety kicked in harder. I tapped on the settings and then the blocked list. Only one name showed up. Ryan Gordon. I tapped on his name as the internet spun. Fuck. Come on.

  Only a picture showed up. All of the blood drained from my face. My hands started to shake as I slid the phone across the table to Paul.

  “Is that who you kicked out of the boutique?” I leaned my elbows on the table as I swiped my hand down my face.

  “Motherfucker, is that?” He picked up the phone to examine it closer. “He was right there!”

  “I know. I had a beer with him at Dixie’s.”

  “Do what?” Paul looked at me with a blank stare.

  I nodded, confirming what I had said.

  “Son of a bitch.”

  “He knew me. He knew who I was. He knew where Jordan was.” I
banged my fist on the table. “He was fucking right next to me!”

  “Just be cool, Tom. The girls are coming back.”

  “Don’t say anything. I can’t have her freaking out. Text your brother for me and tell him Ryan is or was in town today, and he’s stalking Jordan.”

  He nodded and pulled out his phone.

  I hated that this decision came from all the wrong reasons, but this settled it. I was asking Jordan to move in with me. I refused to lose her the way I had lost so many people that I loved. I was never letting her out of my sight again.

  THE DAWNING SUN flickered light through the lace curtains, the shadows of the trees dancing across my suite in the fall breeze. Warmth embraced me; a tender beat drummed in my ear. I drew my finger down the bare chest of my boyfriend. This was as peaceful as I had been in months. His fingertips lightly traced circles on my naked back, sending a pleasing shiver down my spine. I tilted my head up, resting my chin on his chest, and gazed on his chiseled face. His hair was tousled from our late night fun after the bar, and a morning shadow of stubble graced his chin. My leg hooked over his, and I was afraid to move it, knowing how sore my legs were from my night of bull riding and from the extracurricular activities before and after. His blue eyes sparkled in the morning light as he stared at the bare ceiling, his eyebrows creased in thought. I bit my lip in worry. He usually wasn’t this oblivious when I woke up.

  “Mornin’, cowboy.”

  His stare never wavered, but he squeezed me tighter. I exhaled slowly as I reminded myself that Tom loved me and he was nothing like Ryan. I closed my eyes, trying to push the bad thoughts away. Tom made me a stronger person. With him by my side, I didn’t have anything to fear. Ryan was far away, moving on with his life. I had to keep reminding myself of that.

  “Hey. You okay?” I whispered as he squeezed me again, but he still didn’t take his eyes off the ceiling. I moved my head off his chest to try to get him to look at me. He was freaking me out. “Tom?”

  “Move in with me.”