Watching Fireflies

by Jaycee Ford

  My heart stopped. My breathing stopped. Everything stopped except for the butterflies in my stomach. He finally turned his head, his eyes landing on mine. I exhaled the withheld breath.

  “What did you ask me?”

  His gentle smile brightened the room. His fingers caressed my cheeks and then threaded in my hair. “Would you move in with me?”

  Tears pricked the back of my eyes. I wanted this. I wanted this so bad, but was it too soon? I wasn’t wrong about Tom. I knew his heart. His eyes gazed on me with undoubted sincerity as he whispered, “It just doesn’t feel like home unless you’re there.”

  “Yes.” I didn’t need to question it any longer. He pulled my lips to his as a tear broke loose. This was so fast, but I couldn’t worry about the past. I had to look to the future, and Tom was my future. Our kiss ended and he pressed his forehead against mine as he sighed in relief. He pulled me tight against his chest, engulfing me inside of his arms.

  “So, when does this happen? Like tomorrow? Next weekend?”

  “Now.” He scooted out of the bed. I propped myself up on both elbows with the sheet covering my chest as he rounded the bed.

  “Now? It’s Friday. You have to work.”

  My naked boyfriend opened my closet door, pulled out the empty suitcase and plopped it down on the foot end of the bed. I moved my feet out of the way before it hit me.

  “Yep. Now. We’ve got plenty of time. Paul will cover for me.” He went back to the closet and pulled a bundle of clothes from the rack, haphazardly tossing them in the suitcase.

  “Tom, do you have any care for organization?” He laughed as he continued with the task at hand. “There’s nothing wrong with seeing a naked cowboy, but do you want to put on clothes before you dismantle my suite?”

  He dropped the last of my hanging clothes inside my suitcase and grinned from ear to ear. God, he was hot. I couldn’t help biting my lip as I feasted over the man I was moving in with. He quirked his brow and hopped on top of me, wiggling himself in between my legs even with the sheet separating us. He kissed the tip of my nose, my cheeks, and ended on my lips.

  “I’m gonna take the day off and spend it with you in bed. However, I would like to do that in our home where you can scream as loud as you want.” My legs were suddenly not as sore and I wiggled underneath him. He smirked again, knowing full and well what I was doing. “Not until we’re home, darlin’.”

  “Well, then put some damn clothes on.”

  He laughed as he scooted off me. I huffed a bit from having to wait, but he wouldn’t allow me to be idle and pulled me out of the bed. Naked and all.

  • • •

  “Okay, babe. That’s all of it,” Tom said as he set down the last bag of my belongings in his bedroom—our bedroom. Thankfully, I only had clothes and a few personal items. The only thing Tom had to do was make some closet space for me, which really was a lot since my friend owned a boutique, but I was most certainly not complaining.

  After finishing with the hanging clothes, I went over to my bag of toiletries that Tom had set on the bed to complete the move, but he swatted the bag to the floor. I looked up at him, puzzled.

  “What the hel—” I was interrupted when Tom crushed his lips against mine.

  “We can deal with those later.” That husky voice of his made me stop all movement until he pushed me on the bed. I propped up on my elbows, letting my legs hang open. He yanked his T-shirt over his head, messing up his hair. Damn, he was sexy.

  He launched himself on top of me, and I started to giggle at his forcefulness. While stripping off my shirt, he kissed my body and spoke in between kisses, “You.” Kiss. “Are.” Kiss. “Officially.” Kiss. “Mine.”

  He ended with his lips on mine. I willingly opened to his lustful tongue expertly massaging mine.

  “Forever, cowboy.”

  Holding himself up on one elbow, he caressed my face with his fingers, gliding them along my lips. My legs bent up around his hips, needing to feel the bulge inside of his jeans. He dragged his lips down my neck and to my chest, kneeling back on his heels. While I was drowning in his eyes, he unbuttoned my jeans and peeled them slowly down. He stood up beside the bed, pulling off my boots and removing my jeans. My heart pounded with anticipation as his eyes roamed over my nearly naked body, but it was my view of him that gave me the craving to be filled completely. The muscles in his chest rippled down to his sculpted abs. The button of his jeans hung open, beckoning me to release him.

  “How am I lucky enough to have you?” he said, his voice husky with desire.

  My heart jumped at his comment. How was he lucky? How was I lucky? I sat up on the bed, reaching out for the waistband of his jeans. As I grabbed a hold of them, I pulled him close to me and slowly unzipped the fly. I yanked them down, and he sprang out before me. While gazing into his eyes, I massaged him as he grew within my grip. My hand slid up and down, and just as I wrapped my lips around his tip, he hissed, running his hands through my hair. I took him slowly in my mouth, as far as I could, and showed him how I was the lucky one. He coddled my face, releasing myself from his grip.

  “Lay down,” he whispered. I scooted back onto the pillow, watching him intently as he pulled his jeans off. He knelt on the bed and slid his hands over my chest, unclasping my bra and tossing it on the floor. He scooted around, kneeling in between my legs, and hovered over me, taking my aching nipple into his mouth and sucking gently. He unlatched as he straddled me, gazing over me. He roamed his hands down my body, caressing every inch of me while my hands twitched to touch him. I wrapped my hands around him and began pumping. He attempted holding back a thrust, but he let go when I didn’t give up.

  Tom held my arms as he gently pulled himself out of my grasp and crawled down the bed. My breath was already erratic, and he hadn’t even touched me. As soon as he did, my back arched off the bed. When his tongue replaced his finger, my hands fisted the sheets.

  “I need you now. Now!” I begged with a yearning pain to be filled.

  He wasted no time repositioning himself. I pulled his lips down to mine as he slowly nudged his head inside of me. Holding himself up, he hooked my knee over his other arm, spreading me wider and filling me deeper.

  “I love you,” he whispered against my lips. I wrapped my arms around him, squeezing his ass and urging him to push harder and deeper. He raised my hips higher as he leaned up slightly, thrusting deep. I clutched and clawed at his back, needing to come.

  “I feel you, clenching around me.” His eyes full of lust. “Shit, Jordan.” Ecstasy built inside me, his back tensing under my hands. I screamed, and I screamed loud as he grunted my name and poured into me. Our breath intertwined as Tom laid gently on top of me.

  “I love you. I love you. I love you,” he whispered before I pulled his lips to mine, echoing my declaration of love for him.

  After he slowly pulled himself out of me, he wrapped his arms around me from behind and we dozed away the afternoon. The sun brightened up the room. The sheets were warm, warding off the outside chill. After a while I managed to escape Tom’s arms to finish unpacking. The little things made my heart bloom, like putting my razor beside to his, placing my toothbrush next to his in the holder, hanging my robe by his behind the door. After everything I had been through, moving away to the middle of nowhere, I never thought I’d give anyone a chance again. I came back out of the bathroom to see Tom propped up on the pillows on our bed. He smiled at me as I jumped on the mattress and snuggled in his arms. He made me blissfully happy.

  “Welcome home, darlin’,” he whispered and kissed the top of my head. I was home… in his arms.

  The afternoon sun began to set. My growling stomach interrupted our mood. He lifted his head from the pillow as a smirk rose up his cheeks.

  “I guess I should feed you, huh.” He winked and I wrinkled my nose at him.

  “Food would be good, but I can go make us something.” I started to push away from him and he pulled me back down.

  “And what
do you plan on cooking?”

  I shrugged my shoulders and smiled. “Grilled cheese sandwiches.”

  “How about a steak?”

  “I’m not good with anything other than grilled cheese sandwiches.”

  “That’s why I love you.” He leaned over and brushed his lips across mine. “We’ll eat out on the deck. I’ll go start the grill.”

  He pulled on his jeans and a long-sleeved shirt, and as he left the room, I decided to take a quick shower. It would save me time before we went out later. I bypassed his big tub and went into the standing shower, adjusting the spray to a warm temperature. Water dripped down the sides of my face, cleansing my whole body. I stared at the tiled ledge where my razor lay next to his, my shampoo next to his, my loofah next to his wash cloth. This was the right thing to do. I was certain of it.

  After my cleansing pep talk, I padded downstairs in a pair of yoga pants and a long-sleeved T-shirt. As I glanced around the house, I couldn’t believe I could call this home. It was almost surreal. I turned into the kitchen and watched my boyfriend at the grill through the screened back door. I pushed it open as the cool breeze chilled my wet hair.

  “Hey, darlin’. You got a shower?” He pulled off the last steak onto a platter and walked to the table, putting the platter in the center. Red wine was already poured in two glasses.

  “Yeah, I figured I’d start getting ready for later.” I sat down at the table and took a whiff of the freshly cooked meat as he put the smaller steak on my plate. “This smells a lot better than grilled cheese.”

  “I thought we’d stay in tonight.”

  I paused mid-cut and glanced up at Tom.

  “But it’s Friday. We always go out on Friday.”

  He shrugged his shoulders, not looking up from his steak.

  “I figured I’d keep you to myself tonight.” After I didn’t say anything for the span of two seconds, he looked up at me. “Is that okay?”

  “Of course.”

  He grinned and went back to consuming his food. Well, it was a special day. I didn’t mind him keeping me to himself for the night.

  “SO, I’VE FOUND out that he has a Swiss bank account.”

  I had received a text from Caleb last night to call him first thing in the morning. He knew I didn’t want Jordan to find out about Ryan. I still didn’t know if not telling her was the best idea, but seeing her trust me more and more each day convinced me that I was doing the right thing.

  “How are you able to find this out?”

  “I’m pulling strings, and besides, this town is too boring. I’ve got idle hands.”

  “So, what about this bank account?”

  “He’s transferred five hundred thousand out of the account.”

  “To where?”

  “It was all I could do to get that information. I don’t know to where.” He exhaled. “I’m sorry, Tom. That’s all I’ve got.”

  “Thanks, man. Just keep me posted if you find out anything else.”

  “I always do.”

  I closed my phone and stared out over the fog-covered foothills. I sipped from my coffee while the dawn lit up the farm. Hampton trotted up the stairs from the yard and laid down by the front door. It had been a couple of weeks since Jordan had moved in with me, and I had been keeping this secret about Ryan ever since. Before Jordan moved in, we were practically inseparable. I had hoped that since we now lived together, it wouldn’t seem as noticeable that we never went out and did anything outside of the house.

  After I put down my coffee back on the railing, I rested my hands on either side of the mug and hung my head down. The weight on my shoulders had become nearly unbearable, but I couldn’t tell her about Ryan. She acted like she was finally content, and just being a part of that meant everything to me. I couldn’t let her live in constant worry. She needed to be free of that bastard.

  Releasing an exhale, I picked my head up and grabbed my mug, ready to start my day with Jordan, but just as I turned to head inside, a familiar truck rolled up my driveway. I took a sip as I waited for Lance to hop down from his truck and approach the steps.

  “Hey, why are you here so early?”

  Lance stuffed his hands into his pockets and leaned up against a front porch post. He dug the heel of his boot into the wooden porch as he stared down mindlessly. I put my mug down back onto the flat railing and leaned against the neighboring post, folding my arms across my chest.

  “You’ve been a really good friend to me and a really understanding boss with working around my school schedule, but…” He sighed as he looked up out over the clearing fog, not yet meeting my eye. “But I don’t think I can work here anymore.”

  I pushed myself off the post as my arms fell of their own accord. We had been friends since we were in kindergarten. He started working with me—never for me—in high school, just like Paul. And that was the reason he was going.

  “Dude, you can’t stay mad at Paul and Ellie. You let her go a long time ago.”

  His eyes finally met mine with a mix of regret and determination.

  “It’s not just that. If I take a full schedule next semester, I can graduate in May instead of next December. I want to make something of myself. You and I both know I’m not cut out to be a farmer. I’m not meant to stay in the country.”

  I raised my hand to stop him, giving him a second to settle down. I picked up my coffee and sat down on one of the rocking chairs on the front porch. Lance followed my lead and joined me on the chair next to mine. I took a sip of coffee before I spoke because it was still really early and I didn’t like to have serious boss-like conversations before the first cup.

  “I know this is partly because of Paul, but I’ll overlook it since you brought up some good points. How ̓bout you still handle the books for the farm? That would give you a little more of a push on your resume when you graduate. I can pay you the same.”

  “Tom, your books take like five minutes a day.”

  “I know.”

  “That’s not much work for the pay.”

  “Are you negotiating a lower pay grade?” I glanced over at him as he questioned me like a stupid prick, and he smirked.

  “No, sir.”

  I set down my coffee on the table separating us and extended my hand across to him.

  “So, we have a deal then?”

  He shook my hand, confirming our deal.

  “You’re a good friend, dude.” I picked up my coffee, preparing to take a sip.

  “I know.”

  I took a sip of my coffee as we stared out over the farm. Lance leaned up in his chair, rocking forward to a stop. I glanced over at my best friend as he turned his head back toward me.

  “I want to thank you for being a good friend.”

  I set my mug back on the table and leaned up in my chair.

  “Paul is a good friend, too, ya know.” He leaned back in his chair as he shook his head. “Come on, Lance. You can’t punish them for this.”

  “I can’t sit back and watch. That was my girl.”

  “Was your girl. You dumped her when we graduated high school. You can’t dwell on the past.” He glared back at me for not taking his side. “And Paul is your friend whether you like it or not.”

  He shook his head as he pushed himself out of the rocking chair. “He’s dead to me.”

  “Come on, Lance!” As he went down the stairs, I hollered, “He’s been in love with her all along, ya know. He didn’t go after her back then because he knew you liked her. He stepped aside because he valued your friendship more. You can’t do this to him.”

  He hopped into his truck and hollered back at me, “I can right now, and it might always be this way.”

  The slam of the truck door confirmed that I wasn’t going to get through to him. The sun crept up over the mountains in the distance as his truck sped away over the gravel. I rocked back in my chair and sipped my morning medicine, but before I could decide my next breath, another truck came roaring up the drive. This time, it was Paul. H
e hopped out of the truck and walked up the front steps.

  “Where was Lance running off to?”

  I drained my coffee and after I set the empty mug on the table, I stood up and folded my arms.

  “He quit.”

  His eyes widened, and after a slight pause, he tipped up the brim on his hat. “What’d he go and do that for?”

  “Well, we know the obvious, but he claims to want to be a full-time student this coming semester.”

  “He’s never going to forgive me, is he.” It wasn’t a question, even though I did question it myself.

  “He will, eventually.”

  His shoulders hung down and his head dipped. He shuffled over and took the seat where Lance had been sitting. He leaned back in the chair and shook his head again as his knee bounced with a nervous twitch.

  “What am I supposed to do? I love her.”

  “I know.” I nodded, staring off into the hills. He turned his head toward me and away from the view.

  “I can’t just give her up.”

  I nodded in understanding. “I know.”

  “So, what am I supposed to do?” He leaned up in his chair, resting his elbows on his knees.

  “I don’t know.”

  He sighed as he leaned back in his chair. I reached for my mug, and as I realized I had drained the contents, I put it back on the table.

  “Leaving her is not an option.”

  I leaned forward to meet my best friend’s eye.

  “He’ll get over it. It’s just the way it has to be. In the back of his mind, he knew all along you had a thing for her. So, this shouldn’t be new to him.”

  “Enough of this crap. I’m headed to the barn.” He pushed himself up and trotted down the stairs.

  “All right. I’ll see you out there.”

  As he left for the weathered barn, I stood up and stretched, trying to rid myself of the morning’s stress. I pulled out my phone and read the time. It was only 6:40… way too early for all of this shit. I headed inside and as I shut the front door after Hampton followed, I heard the shower running upstairs. A smile slid up my face as I imagined those curves under the shower’s spray. I headed into the kitchen, dropping my mug down on the counter, and sprinted up the stairs, hoping to catch her in the middle of her scrub.