Belonging

by Karen Ann Hopkins

  “Hey, are you changing sides here or what? Don’t forget that you were the one who warned me about Mr. Casanova.” She still had a twitch to her lips, but she was calming down.

  “Yeah, I know, but seriously, Sam has been running after you longer than he has any other girl I know of. Maybe you should give him a chance.”

  Why I said something that stupid, I had no clue.

  She picked up her mug and took a little slurp only to grimace when the heat hit her tongue. She said, “Hmm, I just might do that. But Sam had to earn my attention the old-fashioned way before I gave in.”

  I envied Summer that she could be so blasé about her feelings for a guy. I certainly couldn’t have just blown Noah off for months. Was Summer a more independent-natured person than myself, or was the instant chemistry that Noah and I shared too much for either of us to have played games?

  “So, do you still like being Amish and all?” Summer asked in a serious voice, with no mocking undertone.

  I had to think before I replied. There were things I liked about my new existence; like the camaraderie of the women—and being around the horses—but I was always questioning whether I’d be Amish if it weren’t for Noah. The answer was always a resounding no.

  The laundry, mending and cleaning was ridiculous. The rules bugged the crap out of me, and my lack of knowledge about the language didn’t help, either. It was strange that I’d coped as well as I had—must have been the power of love.

  I looked around the kitchen to make sure Ruth hadn’t snuck in. Far as I knew she was doing some extra cleaning in the building that we’d be hosting church in that Sunday. It didn’t need it or I’d be out there helping her. I’d already gone over the space with a fine-toothed comb—almost literally. The idea of having church at our place for the next couple of weeks was daunting, to say the least.

  Lowering my voice, I was honest with Summer. “I don’t know. Sometimes, when I’m with Noah, everything is fine with the world. But other times, it’s like waking up in a nightmare.”

  A look of concern spread over her face, and I was instantly glad she’d stopped by for a visit.

  “Gosh, Rose, that sucks. Do you think you’re going to stay Amish?”

  “The alternative would be to leave Noah, and I’ll never do that,” I said, scooting my chair a little farther back from the stove to avoid melting.

  “See, that’s where you and I are different. If I fell in love, I’d give my life for my guy, but not my soul,” she said cryptically.

  “What are you saying?” The fact that Summer was getting all philosophical had me suddenly on edge.

  She gazed at me with steady eyes and said, “That if you give up your spirit, who you really are, for a guy, you won’t have much left to love him with.”

  Before I had the opportunity to chew on her deep words, Ruth walked in, bringing the cold air in with her body. The few seconds of chilly breeze felt nice in the blazing warm kitchen.

  “How would you girls like to go to town for some last-minute church shopping?” Ruth asked as she poured herself a glass of water.

  “I didn’t think we were going until tomorrow,” I said.

  “Well, that was the plan, but Summer’s mom just called and asked if we wanted to share a trip to the store.” She glanced sympathetically at Summer, before saying, “Seems that the woman is a little short on cash this week and couldn’t afford the gas on her own. It works out to everyone’s benefit if we go, since we’ll save on the taxi charge and Tonya will have her gas money.”

  I had a funny feeling creep through me, and I asked Summer in a whisper, “Didn’t you say that your mom was upset about your shunning from the community for two months?”

  Summer nodded her head, her face puckered up in thought as she mumbled, “Uh-huh.”

  “Isn’t that kind of weird that she’d be calling Ruth, then?” Part of my brain registered that it wasn’t any of my concern, but still...

  “Sure is. But then, my mom is stranger than a purple ’possum. Reckon she’s over it now that the time’s up. Looks like you finally get to meet her,” Summer said, rising from the chair.

  Pulling on my own boring winter attire, I couldn’t help but feel unsettled about the out-of-the-blue call from Summer’s mom.

  * * *

  Tonya turned out to be an older version of Summer as far as looks were concerned. Her hair was the bright strawberry color that Summer was so lucky to have, but streaked with gray here and there. Instead of green eyes like her daughter, she had dark hazel ones that could also be called pretty.

  She was friendly enough, chatting away with Ruth as if they were old pals. Summer rolled her eyes and leaned over to me in the backseat to say, “Mom’s putting it on awful thick for some reason.”

  I tried to get rid of the goose bumps that popped up on my arms at her words.

  We drove past Walmart and headed to the other side of town where the extreme discount grocery store was. Ruth liked to shop there, saying that the Superstore overwhelmed her. “Too much to look at there,” she’d say every time we made a trip to the little bit of civilization known as Meadowview. Lucky for me, though, we usually shared our rides with the Millers or the sisters-in-law, so a stop at the big store was inevitable.

  Pulling into the parking lot, I noticed how quiet this part of town was, and I thought that it was just a matter of time before this ma-and-pop business closed down.

  Tonya said that she was staying in the car, had some paperwork to do, and I briefly thought that it was odd that this particular woman would need to do that sort of thing as I slid out of the car behind Summer.

  I was in more of a hurry than Summer was to get into the warmth of the store, and I looped my arm through hers to get her leisurely butt moving. Ruth was already to the entrance when a tug-of-war ensued between me and Summer as she slowed, lifting her face to the sky to catch with her tongue the soft fat snowflakes that began fluttering down.

  One minute everything was quiet and tranquil, and the next all hell broke out. From the corner of my eye I saw the police cruiser pull up beside us, and I heard Summer ask, “What do you reckon the Po-Po want?”

  I didn’t have time to answer her or react when the door flew open and out stepped the cop who oozed a “by the book” personality with his middle-aged clean-cut face. There were several reasons a cop might want to talk to us, all of which were racing through my frantic mind, but seeing Dad come out the backseat told me everything I needed to know.

  I pulled away from Summer, noting her shocked face that I was actually going to attempt a run from the officer, but I didn’t make it but a few feet before the cop had my arms held down at my sides. A second later he passed me off to Dad who took no chances, keeping the vice grip engaged.

  This cannot be happening. I shrieked, “You promised to let me decide.”

  Dad didn’t say a word; his face was fixed in grimness, and I figured that his doctor’s ability to defuse a situation by remaining calm was kicking in. I struggled in his hold, though, not making it easy for him.

  Summer, bless her heart, jumped right into the action and grabbed hold of me as if she was going to keep my dad—and the officer—from taking me away.

  “Hey, this isn’t right. You can’t go nabbing people like this,” Summer shouted.

  The officer took a more offensive position and pried Summer away from me at about the same minute her mom arrived on the scene.

  Tonya said, “Come on, Summer, this ain’t none of your concern.”

  Summer yelled back, her redheaded temper blasting, “This is my concern, ’cause Rose is my friend.”

  “Trust me, Summer. This is for Rose’s best. She should be with her kin instead of working like a dog’s slave for them Amish,” she said, putting her hand out toward Summer, only to have it batted away by her daughter.

  “So you’re somehow in on all this?” Summer spread her arms out, motioning to the cops and my dad. “How did you even meet up with Mr. Cameron?”

 
“It was her brother who came by the other day, just after you got on the bus, and talked to me about it.” Her voice softened a bit, as if she hadn’t been expecting her daughter’s violent outburst about the situation. “Honestly, Summer, you got it all wrong on this one—Rose needs to go back to her home.”

  Summer didn’t seem to be listening to her mom. Instead, she said to me in a defeated voice, “Sorry about what Mamma did. And, if my hunch is correct, I wouldn’t be forgiving Sam anytime soon. I know I won’t be.”

  The finality of it all clouded over me. Summer stepped back closer to her mom, but she didn’t look at her.

  Dad whispered in my ear, “Come on, Rose. You need to behave like the grown-up young woman you so want to be.” The slightly begging tilt to his voice sobered me a bit. It wasn’t as if he could put me on house arrest. I’d be able to sneak off anytime I wanted.

  “It’s all right, Summer. Please tell Suzanna and Miranda that I hope to talk to them soon.” Dad loosened his hold and pointed at the backseat of the cop’s car.

  Just when I was resigned to my fate and about to move my limbs into the vehicle, Ruth appeared beside the car and asked the officer directly, “What in heaven’s name is going on here?”

  The officer finally got his chance to play good cop. He tipped his hat to the old woman and drawled out, “Sorry about the confusion, ma’am, but this gentleman here is the young lady’s father, and since she is still a minor, he has every right to bring her home. I’m just here to make sure it goes smoothly.”

  “Dr. Cameron, why have you changed your mind, then?” Ruth asked with a fluttering voice.

  Uh-oh, here it comes.

  “My apologies, Mrs. Hershberger, for the suddenness of taking Rose home, but I felt there was no other way to do this that wouldn’t be problematic.” He sighed. “Really, my original intentions were for Rose to experience your lifestyle for a few weeks, and then on her own, choose to come home. I’ve been patient, but I feel that almost four months of this nonsense is quite enough.”

  “Nonsense—I’d hardly call your daughter’s choice to live the Plain life and take vows in our church ‘nonsense.’” Her mouth tightened, and her eyes narrowed, showing her displeasure with Dad.

  “Vows?” Dad turned to me, and I shrugged, looking away. What could he do—spank me?

  Dad breezed on, “It doesn’t matter what she might have promised to your church. She is still a minor and can’t make serious decisions about her future without my consent.” Dad was still using his friendly doctor voice, and I wondered how long it would hold out.

  The officer said, “Doctor Cameron, I think we ought to get going.”

  He probably had donuts to get to, I thought darkly.

  Since I couldn’t control being yanked away from the Amish, the least I could do was make it easier for Ruth—and Noah, who I knew would freak out when he heard.

  I said to Ruth, “Don’t worry. I need to talk to Dad about all this stuff and...sort of, like, figure things out. I’ll be back soon.”

  Dad began to nudge me closer to the cruiser, but I turned back to Ruth and said, “Please tell Noah that I’ll call him soon, so he doesn’t worry.”

  Ruth nodded, and if I didn’t know the tough old woman better, I’d think she was tearing up over me.

  Before I bent into the backseat, I sprang back up and yelled to Summer, “I’ll call you—and thanks for being such a good friend.”

  I didn’t hear a reply, because in the next instant I was ushered into the car by Dad, who had the door slammed right behind me. Officer Whatever climbed in and pulled out of the parking lot while I steadied myself against the back of the leather seat and peered out the window. Tonya was heading back to her car, but Ruth and Summer were still standing on the wet pavement watching me drive away from their lives.

  Dad didn’t even bother trying to talk to me, which was good for him, because I wouldn’t have even obliged him with a grunt. I stared out the window, watching the businesses and stores of town gradually disappear to be replaced by farmhouses and lonely, empty crop fields.

  Deep down, I’d known all along that Dad wouldn’t allow me to be away indefinitely. I’d been mentally preparing myself for this kind of scenario, although I hadn’t envisioned a cop in the mix, or standing in a freezing parking lot. Poor Noah—this would hit him like a freight train. He had no warning or preparation. What would he do when he found out? Would he come and try to rescue me as if I was a damsel trapped in the top room of a tower?

  Or would he begin to reconsider what he was willing to do to be with me...and become English?

  * * *

  After I stepped from the cruiser, the officer leaned out the window and said to me, “You’re a very lucky young lady to have such a caring father.” He raised his hand up. “Good luck to you.”

  I didn’t respond. As far as I was concerned he might be speaking the truth, but he was still the enemy—one of the people tearing me away from Noah.

  Dad put his hand on my shoulder as we reached the door, but I shrugged it off, snarling, “Don’t even try to be nice to me now.”

  The dazed feeling that had hung over me on the drive home was disappearing, anger taking its place. Dad could have talked to me before hiring out Sam to do his dirty work. I hoped Dad’s reflexes were sharp, because I didn’t know what I was going to do to my big brother when I saw him.

  I was almost to the top of the stairs to my old room when Dad had the audacity to say, “We need to talk. Now, Rose.”

  “Ha. Try and make me.”

  I kept going until he said, “There’s someone here to see you.”

  My brain burst with the picture of Noah, and I turned and trotted back down the stairs. Dad stood at the doorway, which led into the family room, and said softly, “Just keep an open mind.”

  That startled me, but before I had time to react, the door was open and I was shoved through by Dad.

  My peripheral vision caught the impression of Sam sitting on the couch beside Justin and Tina with her legs pulled up beneath her on the cushy recliner. But I didn’t look at them or even acknowledge that they were there. My eyes were locked on the person sitting directly across from me on the love seat.

  Seeing her face, so much like a younger version of Mom, made the tears explode from my eyes.

  Aunt Debbie had me in a bear hug without me even realizing either one of us had crossed the room.

  “It’s okay,” she soothed, “everything will work out fine.”

  I couldn’t talk. The seepage from both my eyes and nose were making it impossible. I certainly didn’t understand my meltdown, either. Seeing my only aunt never brought on this kind of rain shower before. Smelling her familiar tangy perfume and hearing the voice that had read stories to me when I had still been wearing pigtails, I couldn’t help but feel emotional.

  The hugging thing went on for a minute or two more until obnoxious Sam said, “If she doesn’t stop soon, Dad, she’ll end up like that green lady with the big nose in The Wizard of Oz.”

  Then he said the line with the voice, and I pulled away from Aunt Debbie.

  “I’m melting, oh, my, I’m melting.”

  I pointed my finger at him and seethed, “You aren’t my brother anymore.”

  “I don’t think a verbal proclamation can undo the genetic stuff,” he said, smirking.

  I was going for him when Aunt Debbie held me back, and Dad jumped in between us.

  “Sam, shut up,” Dad said, which closed my traitorous brother’s mouth.

  “Let’s sit down over here, Rose, and talk this whole thing out.” Aunt Debbie pulled me back to the couch that she’d vacated earlier, as far away from Sam as she could take me without leaving the room.

  Tina asked me, “Would you like something to drink?”

  “No, I’m fine,” I said, my voice trembling.

  Dad took a seat on the lone chair, and then everyone in the room stared at me. All but Justin looked worried or nervous; he just smiled in his dorky, just-
entering-puberty way.

  I had had enough of the silence. “That was a pretty crappy thing to do to me, Dad,” I said, trying not to sound hysterical.

  Dad exhaled and dove right in, “I never dreamed that you would actually stay with those people—or take vows of membership to their church. I was hoping that you would...”

  I broke in, heat flaring in my soul, “Yeah, yeah, you already made it clear that you thought I’d come running home in no time at all. But I proved you all wrong, didn’t I?” I glared at Tina, angry with her for not being able to control Dad. She took it in stride and shrugged.

  Aunt Debbie joined in to rescue Dad. “Your father is worried about you. You have to understand that the decisions you make right now, as a young adult, will affect the rest of your life.” She began toying with my hair the way she always did, and it felt good, calming me down.

  “I love Noah, Aunt Debbie—you guys kidnapping me won’t change that fact.”

  “You were not kidnapped,” Dad injected.

  “Oh, pulling up in a cop car at the discount grocery store and nabbing me isn’t kidnapping?” I said.

  Aunt Debbie took over the conversation before Dad flipped out. “I agree that the method of extracting you from the Amish was extreme, but you’re here now with us, talking, so it worked.” Before I opened my mouth, she took a breath and went on, “What do you think about coming to live in Cincinnati with me and your Uncle Jason?”

  The words didn’t even have a chance to solidify in the air, when I burst out, “No way. I’m not leaving Noah.”

  My mind was panicking. Could they force me to go? Would they?

  Dad said, “You have no choice in the matter, you’re going.”

  “That’s not exactly what your dad means.”

  “No, Tina. Don’t go sugarcoating this. She needs to hear how it’s going to be. We tried it your way and it didn’t work—so now I’m laying down the law,” Dad said sharply, his blue eyes glistening like ice.

  I was so pissed that I jumped off the couch and informed him loudly, “You can’t make me do anything. I’m almost an adult, and unless you put a leash on me—which as far as I know is still illegal in the U.S.—I’ll go running back to Noah the first time your backs are turned.”