Remembrance

by Mary Monroe

  The last thing I wanted to read was a bunch of articles about the things my body was already going through, and all the other dreadful things that were going to happen. When I saw the thick stack of pamphlets and magazines Dr. Lopez handed to me, I cringed. “It looks like I’ll be reading for quite a while,” I joked.

  “Take your time. If you need me, just give my nurse a call and make another appointment.”

  After Dr. Lopez had examined me and removed his surgical gloves, he folded his arms and stared at me with a puzzled look on his pudgy face. “Have you been having any other symptoms?”

  I shook my head. “Why? Is there something I need to be concerned about?” I practically leaped off the exam table and immediately started putting my clothes back on.

  “Everything looks fine. It’ll be a few days before I get the results of your Pap smear. But I don’t think you have anything to worry about.”

  “Thanks.”

  Dr. Lopez tilted his head to the side and squinted. “You haven’t had a period since October and you’ve gained a little weight. You assumed it was menopause, right?”

  “Yes, I did. What else . . . Is there something else wrong with me?” My heart started thumping so fast and hard, I thought I was going to have a heart attack right in the doctor’s office.

  “You are in the premenopausal stage, but that doesn’t mean your periods have ended completely yet. You could go even longer without one, and then they could start up again and be regular for several more years.” Dr. Lopez removed his glasses and raked his fingers through his thick white hair. “I’d like to wish you an early merry Christmas/birthday, and I’d like to congratulate you.”

  I stared at him with my heart still thumping. “Congratulate me for what?”

  “Well, in about eight months from now, you’re going to have a baby, my dear.”

  CHAPTER 24

  If the building had collapsed, I couldn’t have been more stunned. I got so light-headed, a mouse could have knocked me to the ground. “I’m going to have a baby? Are you sure? When those fertility pills you gave me fifteen years ago didn’t work, we gave up all hope of ever having another child!”

  “Something worked, because you are definitely pregnant. You’re in great shape, so you can continue working as long as it’s comfortable for you. In the meantime, I’d like to see you every month for the next six months, and then every other week. But if you have any complications or concerns, I’d like to see you more often.”

  I left the medical building moving like a zombie. I was so disoriented that by the time I reached the parking garage, it took me ten minutes to find my car. I felt like I was in a deeper fog than the one I’d been in yesterday because of what Charles had told me. By the time I got halfway back to work, I had almost convinced myself that I had imagined the bombshell news Dr. Lopez had dropped on me. I pulled over to the curb and called his office to make sure. “Mrs. Powell, you are pregnant,” he assured me again.

  I didn’t know how I was going to break the news to Eric and everybody else. I couldn’t wait to see their reaction.

  One of the people I wanted to share my good news with was Charles Davenport. But I couldn’t tell him before I told Eric. If he came for dinner today, I’d ask him specifically when he was leaving town. That way, I could set a time and choose a place for us to meet so I could share my good news with him.

  The dinner crowd came and went, and Charles had not been among them. When I left to go home, I drove past the tent camp, hoping I’d see him. I didn’t have the nerve to get out of my car and go up to his tent to see if he was in it. And I was not going to park again to wait and see if he showed up. I had no choice but to go on home. If I never saw Charles again, I’d be okay. He’d made me feel more positive enough already.

  * * *

  Eric was pleased when he stumbled into the house shortly after seven p.m. and saw that I’d prepared his favorite dinner: grilled pork chops and mashed potatoes. “If you keep cooking like this, it won’t be long before I have a few more pounds to get rid of,” he complained as he heaped more potatoes onto his plate.

  “Aren’t you going to ask about my visit to Dr. Lopez’s office today?”

  Eric swallowed and wiped his lips with his napkin. “Oh, yeah! I forgot about that. How did it go? Did you ask him to refer you to someone so you can get a prescription for something to help you not slide down into the dumps when you think about your accident, or when you get bored?”

  “Um, no. After he explained a few things, I didn’t think I needed to. Besides, I feel so much better now.”

  “I can tell. You’ve been grinning like a Cheshire cat since I walked in the door. Would you mind passing me another biscuit?”

  As anxious as I was to tell Eric that we were finally going to have the fourth baby we’d always wanted, this didn’t seem to be the right time. He was more interested in eating than talking. Besides, I wanted to reveal my good news in a very special way. I thought it would be nice to make the announcement at our Christmas/my birthday dinner with the kids present, in case he freaked out. It had been years since we’d discussed having another child, so I had no idea how he felt about it now. Last year, when the wife of one of his closest friends gave birth at the age of forty-nine to another child, he’d made some disturbing comments. “I feel sorry for poor Scotty. It has to be hard for a middle-age person to deal with a newborn all over again, and the teenage years are going to be a nightmare,” he’d groaned. I prayed that he wouldn’t still feel the same way when I told him he was going to have to deal with a newborn and a teenager all over again too.

  It would be hard to keep the news to myself for the next few days. I didn’t even want to tell Camille or my parents until after I told Eric and the kids.

  * * *

  Charles didn’t come for breakfast or lunch on Friday. When he didn’t show up for the evening meal either, I thought for sure this time that he’d left for Pennsylvania. If he had, I’d miss him. But at least he’d finally revealed his identity to me. The missing piece was now in place, so it was time for me to put the puzzle away and move on with my life. And time for him to move on with his.

  * * *

  Mark and Denise had confirmed that they’d be coming to the house for the holiday. And since Lisa had told me that she might come later in the day, I didn’t need to call her again. I was determined not to badger any of them again any time soon.

  Mark walked into the house at noon on Christmas Day with two large shopping bags filled with gift-wrapped presents. Denise had called earlier to tell me she was having car trouble and would be late. She had not arrived by three, so Eric, Mark, and I decided to open our presents.

  When Denise finally showed up at four p.m., I was almost ready to burst. I knew I couldn’t keep the news to myself a minute longer. I motioned for Eric to put the remote control down and accompany me to the kitchen, where Denise and Mark were hovering over the stove, nibbling on everything in sight. The large sweet-potato pie I had cooked, and set on the counter, was about the size of a muffin now.

  I said in a very casual tone of voice, “I have an announcement to make.”

  “Uh . . . oh!” Denise muttered.

  Eric stood in the doorway with his arms folded. “Oh, Lord,” he said in a shaky tone. “Should I sit down first?” He unfolded his arms and started wringing his hands.

  “You don’t have to sit down. It’s not bad news. At least I hope it’s not,” I said with my voice cracking.

  “What’s going on, Mama?” Mark asked with an agitated expression on his face and a buttered roll in his hand.

  I pulled out a chair and sat down at the table. “I wanted to tell you all at the same time, but Lisa will have to hear this whenever she gets here.” I braced myself and took a deep breath. And then the words shot out of my mouth like bullets. “I’m going to have a baby.”

  Eric’s eyes looked like they were about to pop out of their sockets. For about ten seconds, the room was as silent as a mausoleum. Deni
se and Mark looked like they’d turned to stone.

  “Yikes!” Mark boomed, raising his hands in the air like somebody had just pulled a gun on him. “Is this a joke, Mama?”

  “No, it’s not!” I shrieked, giving him the mean look he deserved. “Why do you sound so surprised to hear that your parents are expecting another baby?”

  “I’m more surprised to hear that my parents are still getting busy like that,” he replied, screwing up his face.

  “Don’t pay that ignoramus any attention, Mama,” Denise said with a dismissive wave. She pulled out a chair and sat down across from me. “I am so happy for you and Daddy.”

  “Honey, that’s wonderful!” Eric finally said. He walked over and wrapped his arms around me. “Are you sure? When are you due?”

  I nodded. “Dr. Lopez confirmed it last Thursday,” I gushed. “He said in about eight months.”

  “You’ve known since Thursday and you’re just now telling us?” Mark hollered with a frown.

  “After it had sunk in, I decided to announce it on the most special day in the year,” I said gently. I cleared my throat and blinked hard to keep myself from getting too emotional.

  “Why did it take so long for you to get pregnant? You and Daddy promised us a baby sister or brother when we were all still in elementary school,” Denise said excitedly. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d seen her so giddy.

  “Mama, shouldn’t you be lying down or something? At your age and pregnant, you have to be more careful,” Mark told me. I was glad he seemed more concerned and less surprised now.

  “I’m not that old! Your aunt Nona was a year older than me when she had your cousin Archie last year,” I pointed out. “Dr. Lopez says I’m in better shape than some women half my age. I’m even going to continue helping to serve meals at the soup kitchen for as long as I can.”

  “Is there anything else you need to tell us?” Mark asked.

  “Well, yes, there is.” I had to clear my throat before I could continue. “Remember the man your friend saw me with at that deli?” I was addressing Mark, but Eric responded.

  “What about him?” He removed his arms from around my shoulders and moved a few steps away. “Are you still sharing tables with Mr. Davenport?” I didn’t like Eric’s sharp tone, but I let it slide this time.

  “He’s the man who gave me CPR and saved my life twenty-five years ago.” My announcement caused every other jaw in the room to drop.

  “You’ve known all this time? I hope you don’t have any more deep, dark secrets to tell us today. Mama, you are a straight-up dark horse if ever there was one!” Mark accused.

  “Mama, when did you find out about this man?” Denise hollered.

  “Just a few days ago.”

  “Well, baby, why didn’t you tell us then?” Eric asked. “I’d like to meet him as soon as possible. Do you know how to get in touch with him?”

  “No. I think he’s already left town,” I explained.

  “How did he end up homeless?” Denise asked.

  “It’s a long, sad story and I don’t want to get into that right now,” I said.

  “Where has he been all this time, and why is he just now letting you know, ‘a few days ago,’ who he was?”

  “Eric, there’s been a lot of turmoil in his life. He became homeless and it was a coincidence that he ended up at the same soup kitchen where I work. If he hadn’t, I may never have found out who saved me.”

  Before anyone could say another word, the front door opened and Lisa yelled, “Where is everybody?”

  “We’re in the kitchen, sweetie,” Eric hollered.

  Lisa skipped into the room with a wide smile on her face and a Santa cap on her head. Since I had stopped showing up unannounced at the kids’ residences and blowing up their answering machines, their attitudes toward me had improved. Especially Lisa’s. “Merry Christmas, everybody.” She paused and turned to me. “And happy birthday, Mama.”

  “We didn’t expect to see you until later tonight,” Eric said.

  “Anwar’s uncle’s plane is stuck in New York because of the weather. He won’t get out of there until tomorrow.” Lisa removed her jacket and placed it and her purse on the back of the chair next to me. She grumbled under her breath about all the traffic she’d run into, and then sat down with a thud. “Mark, I have a pile of gifts in the trunk of my car. I need you to help me bring them in.” She stopped talking and looked from one face to the other. “What’s up with all the cheesy grins? Did somebody win the lottery?”

  “Your mother’s got a couple of things to tell you,” Eric told her, grinning so hard his lips quivered.

  EPILOGUE

  December 2, 2017

  For the first time since my accident, I didn’t get sad on the anniversary. I had too many other things on my mind now to keep me from feeling sorry for myself. Eric kept me busy going fishing and to ball games, and I kept him busy visiting malls, and going to movies—that he always fell asleep on.

  Anwar proposed to Lisa last week and she accepted. Denise recently graduated from culinary school and landed a job as an apprentice chef in an upscale South San Francisco restaurant. Mark went through two more girlfriends before he put his love life on hold and joined the navy four months ago.

  * * *

  I had returned to Sister Cecile’s the day after Christmas last year. Charles Davenport never came again, so I never got to say good-bye. I believed that certain people came into our lives for a purpose. Charles had helped restore my outlook on life to its original condition, so he’d served his purpose in my case.

  I had continued my volunteer work at Sister Cecile’s all the way up to the end of my seventh month. After I’d served my last meal on that day, I told Mrs. Snowden that I wouldn’t be coming back until my son started preschool. I wanted to spend as much time with him as possible. My precious angel, who resembled a miniature version of Eric, turned three months old three days ago. He was more than a blessing, he was a miracle.

  * * *

  Now I hosted theme parties only for the major holidays, and the guest list had been shortened to a fraction of what it used to be. Last year’s Christmas/my birthday celebration had been the best one ever. I prayed that this year’s would be even better, despite the presence of my grumpy parents and my rowdy girl, Camille, and her husband. They’d be the only other guests, except for the kids and their partners.

  * * *

  Right after I’d put my son down for his afternoon nap, I turned on my computer and searched Facebook to see if I could locate Cliff. I really wanted to know how things were working out. But there was no account for him. Other than his older sister in L.A., whose last name I didn’t know, he had no relatives I knew that I could check with. I had lost touch with the people we had associated with when we were together, so I couldn’t track him down through them either. The more I thought about following up with Cliff, the more I thought I should leave well enough alone. If he ever wanted to update me on his progress, I wasn’t hard to find.

  I read several Facebook posts and “Liked” a few, and then I saw something I never thought I’d see: a friend request from Natalee Calhoun! She was the same “friend” who had said she wanted to take a break from me because she thought I was bossy and overbearing. I hadn’t communicated with her since our telephone conversation last year and I was stunned to see that she’d finally created a Facebook account. Her request had come in yesterday and I immediately accepted it. I couldn’t wait to reconnect with her. One thing was for sure, I would never put any pressure on her about anything again, especially attending one of my parties, or hooking up with one of Eric’s friends. I was thrilled to know that she was ready to resume our friendship.

  * * *

  I didn’t think about Charles as much as I used to. But there were things he’d said that I’d never forget. Picturing his intense brown eyes and enchanting smile made me smile. Of all the people from my past, he was the most memorable. I often wondered if he’d made it to Pennsylvan
ia and how he was doing. I was curious enough to do a Facebook search for him too. More than a dozen men shared the same name, but only one resided in Erie, Pennsylvania, and worked on a dairy farm. There was a picture of him on his home page with a huge smile on his face. I was flabbergasted when I checked out his profile. Not only did he have a job as a supervisor, he had recently married “the love of his life.” I scrolled down until I found more pictures. My eyes almost popped out of my head when I saw him holding hands with an attractive woman who looked to be in her mid or late thirties. And she was obviously pregnant.

  Words could not describe how happy I felt for him. I wanted to send him a friend request, but a little voice in my head suggested that he might not want to hear from me. After all he’d been through, he probably wanted to forget he’d ever lived in California. Besides, it looked like he had everything he needed to be happy. Just like me.

  Then I thought about the birthday card he’d given me last December. At the end of the message he’d written in it, he said he would “always remember” me. With that in mind, I decided to reach out to him. But I thought it would be better to wait a few more weeks, or months, to give him enough time to adjust to his new life. I hoped that he’d be pleased to hear from me by then, and thrilled to hear how happy I was. I couldn’t wait to let him know that I’d given birth to the baby I’d always wanted, and named him Charles.

  DISCUSSION QUESTIONS

  1. Eric was a wonderful husband. But after almost twenty-three years of marriage, Beatrice felt their relationship had become boring and she felt depressed. Did you agree with him when he advised her to talk to a professional?

  2. Do you think that Beatrice’s occasional melancholia was directly related to the accident she’d almost died in when she was a teenager?

  3. Do you think not knowing the identity of the mysterious young man who had saved her life had anything to do with Beatrice getting depressed each year on the anniversary of her accident?