Defiant Ecstasy

by Janelle Taylor

  Powchutu reluctantly handed him the end of the leash. Malice was clearly written on Powchutu’s face. He glared at Gray Eagle with dark, brooding eyes and said in the Oglala tongue, “I lower my pride to beg you not to harm her again. I will gladly sacrifice my life and freedom if you will let her go free. You are a great and powerful warrior. You have the courage to stay your hatred and vengeance from her. She is a gentle spirit who has suffered much at your hands, but even more at the hands of her own people. Do not make her pay for their evil. They have forced her to pay too much already for belonging to you. You did not force them to sacrifice her in shame and torment. The trick is on you.”

  Powchutu saw his eyes narrow and darken, and the anger flicker across his face before he closed himself from Powchutu’s scrutiny. Powchutu was both surprised and shocked when he demanded to know what he meant by his last words. The icy, angry edge in his tone warned Powchutu of more than idle curiosity in the warrior’s demand. He wanted to know everything about her and her life at the fort.

  Powchutu hoped and prayed it was true concern and interest in Alisha herself which prompted his demands. Would the knowledge of her treatment at the fort soften Gray Eagle’s anger and hatred toward her? Powchutu chanced it would. He quickly and thoroughly explained everything to him. Even a man like Gray Eagle with all his practice and training could not hide the fury which flamed in his black eyes. Powchutu noted the taut muscles in his body and the tightening of his jawline. He was fully aware of the controlled rage and violence the man who towered above him was feeling and suppressing.

  Powchutu realized a man would not feel so strongly about the evil treatment of a mere kaskapi. He was pleased and happy at this discovery. He slightly smiled at Gray Eagle.

  Gray Eagle ignored his expression and fumed, how dare they take her from me and treat her this way! They will pay greatly for taking their hate for me out on her! He asked Powchutu a few more questions, then stated, “You wish to protect her from me and my treatment, just as you tried to do for her with her own people. But I ask you, scout, which of our people is the greater evil and hurt to her? She has shown great courage and understanding to take you as a koda. You are wise and brave. I shall remember this . . .”

  Gray Eagle called to Alisha as he pulled lightly on the leash, “Ku-wa, Lese.”

  Without regard to anyone’s eyes who watched, she turned to the scout and hugged him tightly. She tearfully met his gaze and said to him, “Good-bye, Powchutu. I shall love and miss you always. You have been a true friend, the only person who loves and cares for me. I shall never forget your help and kindness to me. I will never feel shame or regret in having you as my friend. Do not let them hurt and use you as they did me. I had you to protect me, but who will there be to protect you?”

  Powchutu returned the hug and sadly replied, “Nor will I ever forget you, Alisha. Do not fear for my safety. I only wish I could have done more for you. Do as he says, for I do not believe he will harm you if you obey and respect him.”

  “What does he know of pain and suffering, Powchutu? He is a warrior and my enemy. His heart is stone. His blood flows with hatred. His mind knows only vengeance. I wish he were not so determined to take me back, for I do not know what he wants from me that he has not already taken. But your words are true and wise. I will try very hard to be a good . . . slave.”

  Gray Eagle shifted uneasily at the warm exchange of words and embraces between them. The other warriors looked on in surprise to see a white girl who could show friendship to an Indian of any kind. They realized she was not an Indian hater, perhaps not even an enemy.

  For the first time, she looked up into Gray Eagle’s face above her. She lifted her bound arms up to him. He leaned over and easily lifted her up to his horse before him. He sat her very close to his body and removed the leash. He threw it to the ground with contempt. He lifted her arms and pulled them over his head and shoulders, bringing them to rest around his waist, forcing her to lean against his broad, hard chest. She settled against him as if it were the most natural thing in the world to do. Powchutu noted the gentleness in his touch and tone with her. He was relieved—and jealous.

  “I will beg you once more, Wanmdi Hota, do not hurt her again.” Powchutu gambled if she were special to him he might win her some kindness and time. Time he would need to work things out for their escape. “I will tell you this. She was in love with a dream. She saw you as a man. She refused to face your hatred. She saw you as she wished you to be, not as you truly are. The day of the icapsinte, you forced her to see and know the real man, the warrior, her enemy, her tormentor and betrayer. You destroyed the dream world she lived in. She used it to blot out the reality of her captivity and your hate and contempt. That day, she knew the truth about you and her life. If you care for her, do not let her see and feel these things again. Perhaps it means nothing to you for her to love you, but her love will help her to be more respectful and obedient. Do not destroy it with your cruelty.”

  Gray Eagle gazed down at the scout for a moment, then declared, “Do not return to the fort, my koda! All there will die this very day! You will go with the tribe of Grota for your help and courage. Do not fear for her safety for she will come to no harm. She was, and is, mine. I will allow no man, white or Indian, to take her from me, ever again! I feel no hatred in my heart for her and never have.”

  Before Powchutu could speak, he turned and rode away, leaving him standing open-mouthed in confusion. Alisha is wrong! he realized. He does care for her. She is more than a slave and enemy to him. He did not say he loved her, but he didn’t have to. This is good for now. She will be safe with him until I can take her. I will go with Grota’s tribe. I, too, do not care for the ways of the white man. I will return to the forest and the way of life I have hungered for. I will live and wait for the right time, then ...

  Alisha strained to look past Gray Eagle’s arm to watch until her friend was out of sight. She had lost the only other friend she had here, once again because of Gray Eagle. She lay her head upon his strong chest as silent, hot tears ran down her cheeks.

  Without warning, Gray Eagle reined in his horse and halted on a small, sandy knoll. They turned to face the fort. She raised herself up in confusion and gazed up into his stoical face. Her face followed his line of vision to the fort far off in the distance behind the band of warriors. Spine-tingling foreboding filled the air. There was a great stillness and silence upon the land. Something was about to happen, but what? she wondered.

  She was suddenly startled by loud whoops and yells as the warriors swarmed down on the fort. She inhaled quick and sharp, guessing what this meant. Her eyes widened as she watched the scene before her. They should not have trusted him this time, her mind screamed. She had warned them, but they would not listen. He has not come for only me. He has come for revenge upon them all. That fort is the last stronghold out here and they are going to destroy it. Its destruction could halt the coming of more white men for a long time. They would not dare to come here without the protection it offers.

  They could not possibly hold out for long, not if what Powchutu has told me is true. They wouldn’t stand a chance against such a large band of warriors with such power and purpose. He has only tricked them into releasing me first. But why? His joke will be short-lived for such a show of power. They will not have to live with the guilt and pain of my sacrifice as he had said. He planned to attack anyway, so why the farce? He could have taken me prisoner during the raid. It is as if he were rescuing me again, sparing only my life just as before. Why?

  Alisha dared not think about this idea.

  This time, she watched the battle knowing why his people hated the whites so fiercely and deeply. They are no less savage or uncivilized than we are she mused. We are here to take what is theirs, even if we must kill and rob to do it. They are resisting in the only way left open to them. For today, they will punish them and push them back, at least for a while.

  She watched the raging battle without resistance. What c
ould she say or do that would change anything? It is too late for those people down there, and maybe for me, too, she thought. Then she rejected this last thought, for surely he would not have forced them to return her only to kill her later. There had to be more to it ...

  Gray Eagle was keenly aware she made no move to beg or resist him and the battle. He was surprised by this. Terror abruptly crossed her face. She struggled to sit up and look toward the fort. She screamed, “Powchutu! He’ll be killed! Please, Wanmdi Hota ... Powchutu, hiya!”

  He studied the panic-stricken face and eyes intently. Her concern and fear were only for the scout. She begged for his life and safety only. Surely they were very cruel to you, Cinstinna, or do you care too much for the one called Powchutu?

  She pleaded again, “Wanmdi Hota, Powchutu, koda, hiya!” With her hands bound, she could not give the sign for death. Not knowing his words to use, she begged in desperation in her own tongue. “Do not kill him! He has suffered enough because of all of you. Spare his life, I beg you. I will do anything, anything you ask if you will do this for me. Powchutu, koda!”

  Tears glistened in her bright, green eyes. He gently took her trembling chin in his hand and turned her face in the direction to the left. “Wayaketo! Kokipi sni. Powchutu koda.”

  She located her friend sitting next to a chief from one of the other tribes. From a glance, she could tell he was not a captive. Although she did not understand why, she was glad. She sighed in relief and returned her head to his chest. He looked down at the shiny-haired head resting on his chest and he, too, sighed in relief at her being back where she belonged.

  The results of the battle a foregone conclusion, he headed Chula for home. The fighting was over for him. He had what he had come for. The others could finish the battle and take what plunder and captives they wanted. He held the only treasure he wanted. The shooting, yelling and cries of battle slowly receded as they rode away.

  They rode for a long time at a steady gallop. Alisha was snuggled against his body with his free arm around her waist. She became all too aware of his firm, rippling, iron muscles and the controlled strength in them. She could sense the vitality and sensuous virility in him. The feel of those powerful arms around her and the touch of his muscles in his back began to affect her. His male odor filled her senses and his touch was like fire. She trembled at his closeness and her thoughts. She was confused and alarmed by these intense reactions to him and his nearness. She felt as if she had never left his embrace. All the old hunger and need rekindled.

  She realized at that moment how much she had missed him and yearned for his touch. She unconsciously snuggled even closer to him and tightened her hold about his narrow waist. Without knowing, she caressed his chest with her soft cheek.

  But Gray Eagle was all too aware of the quiverings of her body. He found himself fighting hard to keep a tight rein and control on his own emotions. He was much too sensitive to her closeness, touch and vulnerability. He struggled with the urge to halt Chula and take her right then and there. He told himself this was not the time or place for their first union after so long.

  His decision was quickly made more difficult as he shifted his arm and their eyes met and fused. He had expected to see fear and hate written in hers. Instead, he saw something very different. He was surprised and moved by what his eyes and senses took in. He lifted her chin with his finger to gaze fully into her features. He noted the flushed cheeks, the slightly parted lips, the darkened, alluring, emerald eyes. He read the desire which was clearly evident there. He sensed her plea for his lips to take hers. She caught her breath as he leaned over and did just that.

  Their lips and bodies met and locked. The contact was overwhelming, even a little frightening. He kissed her deeply and hungrily, and she responded likewise, clinging to him tightly. She clung to him for more as her bound hands caressed his back and shoulders. His lips left hers and moved across her face and eyes, traveling down her ivory throat and back to her waiting lips once more. His hand was lost in the soft fullness of her silky hair as he pressed her head closer to his. The Appaloosa remained perfectly still and quiet, waiting for his master’s command.

  Her breath caught in her chest. She felt weak and fiery all over. Her skin tingled and cried with longing. The stirrings of passion called to her from deep within, and she yearned to answer them fully and completely. She was oblivious to her surroundings, as was he. All that truly mattered at that moment was that she was with Wanmdi Hota and of what was taking place between them.

  As he continued to spread kisses over her features and mouth, she knew how long she had waited for him to hold her like this. It had been much too long a separation. Her emotions cried out for him to love her, to want and need her, like she did him. She told him without words she was where she belonged and where she wanted to be.

  Here in his strong, loving, protective embrace was where she wanted to remain forever and a day. Waves upon waves of heated passion washed over her. She begged for his total possession of her. Hotter and deeper the flames of love and desire leaped in both their minds and bodies.

  This is pure madness, she thought. The last time I was this close to him, he almost beat me to death. I should hate and fear him greatly. But her heart cried out how much she loved and wanted him instead. Her mind told her he beat her for running away, not because he was trying to torment her. She had defied and disgraced him before his warriors at every turn. He came for me today, she thought. He is showing me right this minute how much he desires me. She pressed even closer to him and returned his kisses more demandingly.

  He painfully and reluctantly pulled away from her. He lifted his face to the sky above and inhaled deeply several times. Flustered and perplexed, she looked up at him and thought she comprehended his withdrawal.

  “What is wrong, Wanmdi Hota? Why do you pull away from me?” She was abashed and confused. “Do you still hate me and reject my love? Was it too soon to show you how much I love you and have missed you? You did not wish to see and know what is in my heart for you? Did you only want to taunt and shame me? You only wanted to prove your power over me as you did back at your camp and at the fort!”

  He continued to gaze up into the heavens, as if he refused to acknowledge her words or presence. “Don’t do this to me, please! I need you, Wanmdi Hota. I need you in many ways. You have the power to save me or destroy me. Help me! Help me before it’s too late and Alisha is gone forever. Only you have the power to hurt me, for I love and need only you. This love lives within my heart. If you allow your hatred and cruelty to destroy it, then I am doomed. Please do not reject me again.”

  Tears of betrayal, hurt and physical frustration filled her emerald eyes and slid down her cheeks. The pain in her heart caused her passion to fade. She lowered her head and let the tears drop unchecked to her lap and his arm.

  Gray Eagle had not expected Alisha’s unbridled, uncontrolled response to him. It had caught him off guard and unprepared to control the situation. His entire body had blazed with hunger for her. It had taken every ounce of willpower he could muster to pull away from her. Her words had torn at his conscience and her needs at his heart.

  He no longer feared her feelings for Powchutu or White Arrow. Even if it is only my touch she craves, he thought, at least it is me and my love she wants and no other’s.

  He lifted her head with his hand and tenderly wiped the tears from her cheeks with his fingers, watching her eyes and the emotions he read there. Do I dare to believe what I see there? he wondered. Does she deceive me, or does my own heart? She responded to me once before like this, then ran away from me the very next sun! Perhaps she is only trying to win my trust so I will drop my guard again. Could it be she seeks to dismiss any punishment she thinks I may give her when we return home? Is she telling me she yields her all this time, that she will no longer resist or defy my commands? She said at the fort she would do all I asked if I spared the life of her friend. Perhaps she fulfills this promise now ... only time can answer thes
e questions for me.

  I see no hate in her eyes, only ... no! I see what I want to see and hope is true. After the icapsinte, she must surely hate me.

  Gray Eagle’s logic and intelligence told him no woman could love and accept a man who had done the things to her that he had done to his beloved Lese. In time, with love and tenderness, perhaps he could win her love and acceptance. For now, he would settle for just having her back with him. I am sure she only fears I will hurt her again, but I will not. I cannot if I am going to have her completely.

  He smiled at her, his eyes caressing her tenderly. He brushed a light kiss upon her lips and rode away. His arms held her securely in his embrace. He feared she was only clinging to him for mercy and protection. But one day, Cinstinna, it will be in love. You need not fear the bluecoats or wasichus any longer, for they have paid for their hurt and abuse to you.

  Alisha had felt a glimmer of hope at his tender actions after his withdrawal. The smile on his handsome face, the gentle touch of his finger as he wiped away her tears, and the kiss upon her lips afterwards, told her he had not pulled away in hatred or contempt. She relaxed calm and serene against his chest this time. Her spirits were brightened by his gentleness and concern for her feelings.

  How my heart longs to reach out to him completely, she mused, but I dare not, yet. I must wait to see how he views and treats me this time. Alisha began to vividly recall their last night of lovemaking before she so foolishly ran away from him. She blushed as she remembered its intensity and her wanton behavior. Things might have been changing between them that night. Had he felt betrayed by her escape as Powchutu had alluded? Did he think she had pretended, lied or tried to trick him that night? Perhaps he did not realize she loved him. Perhaps he thought she behaved like a harlot. Since they were unable to speak with each other, all he could judge her by were her actions—actions of defiance, dishonor, and wanton behavior. No wonder he didn’t think she was worthy of his acceptance! She tensed and shifted nervously at these thoughts. Could she somehow change his opinion of her?