“It must make you unbearably sad all over again, when you realize it’s just your imagination.”
Gram smiled. “Or is it? Maybe for just an instant God’s reminding me that your grandfather is still right here, looking out for me.”
“Have you ever thought about marrying again?”
“Thought about it? Not really. I do enjoy making your uncle Mick a little crazy by talking about wanting a few new gentleman callers.”
“Was Grandpa your one and only love? Was he your soul mate?”
“I don’t think I ever thought of it in those terms, but I suppose he was. My parents chose him, but we were well-suited. Once we married, I never looked back. I made myself forget all about the man I’d met on my last summer in Ireland.”
“Do you still miss Ireland?”
Nell’s expression turned wistful. “More lately. I’d like to see it again before my time comes.”
“Then we should go,” Susie said. “Let’s plan on it. Just you and me, if no one else can get away. You’ll show me all of your favorite places.”
“As soon as you’re well, we’ll do just that,” Gram agreed, then gave her a sly look. “Of course, it would be a lovely place for a honeymoon, as well. Something to think about if things are progressing with Mack.”
“They haven’t progressed that far,” Susie said.
Gram gave her hand a squeeze. “They will. Just you wait and see.”
Susie felt as if she’d already been waiting a lifetime, but tonight, sitting here in Gram’s cozy kitchen with Mack asleep in the next room, she felt hopeful for the first time ever. Even with so much uncertainty in her future, she still felt hopeful.
10
When Mack awoke the next morning and realized that Susie was no longer in the room, he wandered into the kitchen, following the scent of coffee. But instead of Susie, he found Nell O’Brien at the stove, stirring a pot of oatmeal.
Drawn to the coffee, he glanced at Nell. “May I?”
“Help yourself. I made it for you. Never touch the stuff myself. I prefer tea.”
“Where’s Susie?”
“Sleeping. She needs her rest.” She gave him a knowing look. “I gather she told you what’s going on.”
He nodded. “Finally. She should have told me the second she suspected there was a problem.”
“I think she was afraid you’d run off.” Her gaze seared him. “Will you?”
“Absolutely not,” he said, speaking with firm conviction. The future might be terrifying, but he was in this for the long haul. “I love her, Mrs. O’Brien.”
She gave him a chiding look at the formality. She’d long ago told him he could call her Nell, or even Gram, but he’d never felt comfortable with either one. When it came to family, he’d never quite understood the dynamics. His own had set a terrible example. As for the O’Briens, as welcome as they’d made him feel, he’d held himself aloof, afraid to want too much what they had.
“I think your love for Susie was plain to everyone except the two of you,” she responded wryly. “Now what?”
“I’m going to see her through this, then marry her if she’ll have me.”
Nell nodded approvingly. “Mind a suggestion from me?”
“Of course not.”
She looked him directly in the eye. “Marry her now, Mack,” she said earnestly. “Don’t wait. You’ve waited far too long already. Be totally impulsive and romantic for once. Don’t give her even a second’s doubt that you’ll be by her side no matter how all this turns out.”
He was shaking his head before she’d completed the thought. “She won’t hear of it,” he said, though he had to admit he was intrigued by the idea. “She wants to put her life on hold until she has answers about the biopsy.”
“Are those results going to make a difference in how you feel?” she asked pointedly.
“Of course not.”
“The only way to prove that to my granddaughter is to marry her before the results are in.” She gave him a sly look. “I’d like to see her married in the church, but I don’t think God would frown on the two of you eloping under the circumstances. I’ve made a few calls, if you’re interested.”
He grinned at her. “When it comes to matchmaking, Mick has nothing on you, does he?”
“No matchmaking involved,” she replied. “Fate handled that. I’m just trying to give the two of you a little push to speed things along, though frankly after all this not-dating nonsense, speed doesn’t really describe your courtship, does it?” She waved off the comment. “Water under the bridge. The important thing is to act quickly now, when it truly counts.”
Mack still had his doubts. “Her appointment with the doctor is today. How on earth could we possibly get married before that?”
She chuckled. “Like I said, I’ve made a few calls. Want me to go in there and wake her up? Or you could do it yourself. Something tells me your powers of persuasion are up to the job. Your charm, after all, is legendary around here.”
He hesitated to remind her that his so-called legendary charm was what had stood between him and Susie for all these years, slowed down any chance of her taking him seriously.
Now, though, he thought of everything Susie was facing. She needed to know he was in her corner all the way, no matter what. Nell O’Brien was right. This was a way to prove that. And he did have the ring back at his place. The timing might be lousy in a lot of ways, but in one critical way it was exactly right.
“I’ll be back,” he said, pushing away from the counter. “Don’t let her slip out of here.”
She smiled. “Not a chance of that. But you hurry up, young man. Too much time’s been wasted already.”
Mack nodded. He couldn’t have agreed with her more, and he regretted those wasted years more than he could say. What if—?
He cut himself off before the thought could fully form. No negativity. Not now.
What Susie needed more than anything was positive energy, support and hope. And maybe just this once—after a lifetime of questioning his own merits as the son of two totally irresponsible people—he was exactly the right man for the job.
Susie wandered into the living room, discovered Mack was missing, then headed for the kitchen.
“Where’d Mack go? Did you see him leave?” she asked her grandmother, not even trying to hide her disappointment. She frowned. “You didn’t run him off, did you?”
“Now, why would I do that?” Nell inquired testily. “I’ve always been in Mack’s corner when it came to you, and vice versa.”
“So where is he, then?”
“He had an errand or two,” Nell replied, her eyes twinkling mischievously. “He’ll be back.”
“Or maybe he’s come to his senses and taken off for good,” Susie said. “Who could blame him?”
“I would, for one,” Gram said. “But I don’t think that’s the case.”
Just then the front door opened and Mack called out. Gram gave her an I-told-you-so look. “I’ll leave the two of you to talk,” she said. “I have some things to do.” When Susie regarded her suspiciously, she added, “Over at the church.”
Susie was almost positive her grandmother was improvising. “Since when? This isn’t one of your regular days to help out.”
“Just pitching in for one of the other women, and I’m already late,” Gram said, then pressed a kiss to her cheek. “Whatever Mack has to say, listen with your heart and act accordingly. Understood?”
Susie gave her another suspicious look but nodded, her gaze already drawn to Mack, who was standing in the doorway looking oddly uneasy, even though he was dressed impeccably in one of those expensive designer suits that always made her feel underdressed.
“Everything okay?” she asked him. “Where’d you go?”
“To my place. I wanted to shower and change.”
“Into a suit? You look very handsome, by the way, but I don’t think going to my doctor’s appointment calls for dressing up.”
“We have a
stop to make first,” he said.
She balked. “I don’t know, Mack. I’m awfully nervous. I’d rather just get there and get it over with.”
“We have time for this,” he insisted.
Out of the blue he dropped to one knee in front of her, then pulled a jewelry box out of his pocket. As she grasped his intention, Susie’s heart hammered so hard, she thought it might jump right out of her chest. “Mack, what are you doing?”
He grinned. “And here I thought I was going about this the old-fashioned way, the way every woman dreams of.”
“You’re proposing?” she asked, a breathless note in her voice.
“I am if you’ll give me two seconds to get the words out,” he said. “Now, hush, and let me say this. I’ve been rehearsing for a while now.”
She fell silent, mostly from shock.
“Susie, I have loved you for a very long time,” he said, gazing earnestly into her eyes. “I’ve waited far too long to tell you or to show you, but I think in your heart you’ve always known we were meant for each other. I want you to marry me, right now, this morning.”
She swallowed hard, still staring at the box in his hand. “Now?” she whispered.
He flipped open the box to reveal a diamond solitaire with emeralds—her birthstone, a match for her eyes, some said—set on either side. He couldn’t possibly have found something that exquisite, that perfect, on short notice. He had to have had it for a while. Given how Mack pondered things, it had to have been quite a while.
“How long have you been thinking about this?”
“I was going to ask you weeks ago,” he told her. “But then I lost my job and decided the timing was all wrong. I know you probably think the timing is all wrong for entirely different reasons, but it’s not. It’s the perfect time.”
She wanted to say yes, to jump in with both feet. He was offering her the one thing she’d always dreamed of, a life with him.
“How can I?” she whispered.
“One word is all it takes,” he said. “Just yes, and we’re standing before a justice of the peace an hour from now. When we walk into your doctor’s appointment, we’ll officially be a team, facing whatever’s ahead together.”
Her lips trembled and her eyes watered. “I want that, Mack. I really do, but—”
“No second thoughts, Susie. I know you love me.”
“I do.”
“Then hold on to that and the fact that I love you. I may not be the man you deserve, but I’ll love you and protect you with everything that’s in me. Not a day will go by that you won’t know I’m in your corner.”
Before she could stop him, he took the ring from the box and slid it on her finger. It fit perfectly.
“Well?” he prodded. “Does it stay?”
She wanted to say no, to argue that the timing was all wrong, just as he’d predicted she would say. That would be the right thing to do, the fair thing, but she couldn’t force the words past her lips. She wanted this so desperately, especially now, with so much uncertainty ahead.
“Yes,” she said at last. “It stays.”
“And we elope right this second?”
Blinking back tears, this time of joy, she nodded. “I do want to put some clothes on, though. It was never my dream to get married in my pajamas.”
“All taken care of,” he said, going into the living room and holding a whispered conversation with someone.
He reappeared with her mother and Gram in tow. She stared at the two of them in amazement. “You knew?”
“I knew,” Nell confirmed. “And I knew you’d want your mother and a lovely dress.” She held out a garment bag. “This was mine. I think it’ll fit you perfectly, if it suits you.”
Susie threw her arms around first one woman and then the other. “You two are incredible.”
“Well, of course we are,” Nell said. “We’re O’Briens.”
“Now, let’s hurry,” Jo said, beaming. “Your father’s probably worn a hole in the carpet at the justice of the peace’s office by now.”
“Dad knows, too?”
“Of course,” Mack said. “I had to ask his permission, didn’t I?”
For a moment, Susie seemed rooted in place. “This is all happening so fast.”
At that, everyone else in the room hooted, which made her laugh, too. “Okay, maybe it’s not that fast. But five minutes ago all I could think about was my doctor’s appointment, and now I’m getting married. Who does that?”
“Two people who belong together,” Nell said.
Maybe this was wrong. Maybe it was totally unfair to Mack. But with her heart filled with indescribable joy, Susie could only be thankful that she would have time with Mack, after all. It might be short—or an eternity—but she knew it would be the happiest time of her life.
Mack knew he would remember forever the shadows in Susie’s eyes when the justice of the peace read the vow about love lasting in sickness and in health. For just an instant he saw the near panic and squeezed her hand reassuringly. “Forever,” he murmured. “We’re going to have forever.”
After lunch, there was barely enough time for Susie to change out of Nell’s wedding gown and into her usual slacks and a blouse before they headed for the doctor’s office.
At Dr. Kinnear’s somber expression, Mack knew the news wasn’t what they’d hoped for.
“It’s cancer,” Susie said dully, obviously sensing the same thing.
“I’m afraid so,” the doctor said. “And the sooner we can schedule the surgery, the better, if we want to give you the best possible shot at a full recovery.”
Susie had been holding Mack’s hand so tightly, he’d lost feeling, but at the doctor’s words, she released it. Her mother stood behind her chair, her hands on Susie’s shoulders.
“What exactly does that mean?” Mack asked, regretting that he hadn’t had time to do the kind of research he should have before coming here today.
“We’ll do a complete hysterectomy,” Dr. Kinnear said.
Already pale, Susie seemed to turn ashen at the words. “No children?” she whispered.
Mack knew they’d never discussed their future—there’d been no time—but in his mind he’d dared to envision children down the road. This was an unexpected twist. He hoped he was able to keep his expression neutral at the news.
Dr. Kinnear nodded in response to Susie’s question. “There is the possibility we can harvest some of your eggs. We’ll have to take a look at that situation and see if it’s feasible given the need to get this surgery done quickly.”
“Couldn’t we postpone the surgery to make it feasible?” Susie pleaded. “Or what about only taking out the affected ovary? Couldn’t we try that first?”
Dr. Kinnear shook his head, his expression sympathetic. “I wouldn’t recommend it. With ovarian cancer, early treatment is critical. I understand your desire to hold on to options, but the oncologist and I have discussed it, especially given your young age, and we feel this will give you the best chance to survive for a long time. I promise you, Susie, we wouldn’t recommend this if we didn’t think it to be the best possible solution.”
Mack reached for Susie’s hand again, but she shifted away. “Susie,” he said, all but commanding her to look at him. “It’s okay. There are plenty of kids in the world who desperately need a good home. We’ll find a way to have a whole houseful, if that’s what you want.”
His remark didn’t seem to cheer her in the slightest. If anything, she looked even sadder.
“I need to think about all this,” Susie said, standing up and heading straight for the door.
“Susie,” the doctor protested.
Jo gave him an apologetic look. “Let her go. This has been a shock.” She turned to Mack. “I should go after her.”
“No, I will,” he said, already on his feet. “Could you stay and maybe schedule whatever we need to do from here?”
Jo looked relieved to have something concrete to do. She nodded at once. “I’m so glad s
he has you, Mack. She’s going to need you now more than ever.”
Mack thought about his entire lifetime of avoiding commitments, of loving and leaving anyone who threatened to cut through his defenses. Now, just when he’d decided to risk his heart with the only woman he’d truly dared to love, she could be snatched from him. Talk about a cruel twist of fate.
“I’ll do the best I can for her,” he promised Jo.
She gave him a watery smile. “I know you will. You’re one of the good guys, Mack. It’s time you started believing that about yourself. Don’t let the past shadow the rest of your life. I’ve known you a long time, and you are nothing like either one of your parents.”
“Thanks for saying that,” he said, meaning it. He just didn’t entirely believe her, because right this second he wanted nothing more than to run as far from Chesapeake Shores as he possibly could. He wouldn’t, though. He knew that much about himself. So maybe Jo was right, after all.
Susie had run track in high school. She still had a lot of speed. Of course, she’d run in sneakers, not high heels, and the track hadn’t been slick with rain most of the time, either. Today, after a sunny morning that had seemed to bless her wedding, clouds had rolled in. The sky was dark and gloomy, mirroring the shift in her own mood.
She was soaked and out of breath by the time she reached Beach Lane on the other side of town. She found her favorite boulder along the shoreline and sat, holding her painful side. Her tears mingled with the rain.
She wasn’t all that surprised when Mack arrived and sat down beside her, seemingly oblivious to getting his suit ruined. He sat shoulder-to-shoulder with her, staring out to sea, not saying a word, just there. His heat, his nearness offered comfort. It was also a stark reminder of what she’d come so close to having.
“We’re not getting this marriage annulled,” he announced eventually.
Susie stared at him for a long time. “How did you know that’s what I was thinking? It’s the only fair thing to do. You didn’t sign on for this, Mack.”
“I signed on for you,” he said emphatically. “For better or worse, in sickness and in health. Have you forgotten so quickly?”
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