Focus

by Alyssa Rose Ivy

  “Do you want to meet up or what?”

  “Yes. I’ll be there at nine.”

  “Perfect.” I leaned over and kissed him.

  “You sure you won’t come home with me? It’s not too late.”

  “Good night, Levi.” I got out of the car smiling. We’d had a huge fight—but we’d gotten through it. Maybe things really could work between us.

  Chapter Twenty-One

  “What do you mean you can’t meet me?” I whispered loudly as I walked out of the stacks at the library. A few kids turned to glare at me as I walked past.

  “I’m sorry. My dad needs me for something.”

  “Can you at least drop off my notebook?” I slumped down on a couch outside the glass doors. I was technically allowed to be on my phone now, but I still felt rude. A study group sat together a few feet away.

  “Not now. I’ll bring it by tonight though.”

  “But the art history test is in the morning,” I grumbled. I’d forgotten my notebook in his car after we’d studied the other day.

  “I’m not in the city right now…”

  “Oh, so how do you know you’ll be back tonight?”

  “Because I will.”

  “Fine. See you later.”

  “Men can be frustrating sometimes, can’t they?” Michelle snuck up on me. She took a seat on the couch.

  “Yeah, they can.” I was too tired from studying to put on an act. It’s not like a couple had to be happy one hundred percent of the time.

  “I couldn’t help but overhear your conversation. Levi has your art history notebook?”

  “Yes. I left it at his place. And before you say it, I realize it wouldn’t be an issue if I’d just take notes on a computer like everyone else.”

  She smiled. “I wasn’t going to say that. But it’s true…”

  “Well, I probably should get back to trying to reread the entire text.”

  “Who’s your professor? Is it Anders?”

  “Yeah.”

  “I made a pretty awesome study guide when I had her last semester. I could send it to you.”

  “Really?” Then I thought about it for a second and my excitement waned. “Wait, why would you help me?”

  She laughed dryly. “Okay, I know we didn’t get off to the best start, but I’m not out to get you.”

  “And I should take your word because…?”

  “What choice do you have?”

  I shrugged. “None.”

  “For what it’s worth, I’m sorry for being a bitch.”

  “What?”

  “I was jealous, and I took it out on you. It wasn’t cool. Okay?”

  “You were jealous? Why?”

  “I thought you had it easy. You got to spend your life with the guy you loved.” She paused. “Funny, huh?”

  I smiled. “Easy? That’s a good one.”

  “But then I realized I had it wrong. I heard the rumors. I know what happened.”

  My chest tightened, here came the blackmail.

  “Whoa, calm down.”

  I guess she read the panic on my face.

  “Levi didn’t tell you what you were getting yourself into, did he?”

  I looked away, wishing I had a way out of the conversation.

  “Everyone knows. Everyone.” She gave me a knowing look.

  “Everyone?”

  She looked over her shoulder. Satisfied the study group wasn’t listening she continued. “Even the king.”

  “Oh my god.”

  “He doesn’t care. As long as you stay with Levi, it’s fine. He’s going to make sure you stay.”

  “It’s not like I want to leave…Levi and I are making things work.”

  “But you don’t really know how to handle it all, right?”

  “I guess. I just need some time to think.”

  “Are you going home for break?”

  “Kind of. I’m meeting my mom in Vermont. Hailey volunteered to come with me.”

  “She hates me, doesn’t she?”

  “She thinks you look down on her.”

  Michelle laughed. “Maybe I did, but I don’t anymore.”

  “Good. If we’re going to be friends, you’re going to have to at least try to be friends with her too.”

  “I know. I’ll go email you that study guide.”

  “Thanks.”

  “If I don’t see you, enjoy the break.”

  “You too. Good luck on exams.” I waved goodbye and shook my head in wonder. Michelle being nice?

  ***

  “Pick up your phone or shut it off,” Hailey grumbled.

  I looked at my digital alarm clock. It was two thirty a.m.

  I picked up my phone and squinted to read the display. Another missed call from Levi. Before I could put it back down, he sent a text.

  I know it’s late, but I have your notebook. Can you come down?

  Late? It’s the middle of the night.

  Please come down.

  Fine. I eventually relented. As annoyed as I was about him ditching me, I couldn’t deny how much I wanted to see him. I missed him, and I knew I’d probably miss him a whole lot more in the days to come. I needed time to clear my head, but that didn’t mean I wasn’t craving his presence.

  He leaned against the wall outside, dressed in a tank and jeans. He must have flown. “Hey.” He straightened out when he saw me.

  “Hi.” I pushed my glasses back toward my eyes.

  “You’re mad, aren’t you?”

  “You’d be dead, except Michelle saved you.”

  “Michelle?”

  “Yeah, she gave me her study notes from last semester.” I zipped up my hoodie, realizing how exposed I was since I hadn’t bothered to put on a bra.

  “So, in other words, I owe her.”

  “Yes.”

  “Well, here’s this if you still want it.” He held out my notebook.

  “Want to know what to get me for Christmas?”

  He smiled, probably thinking our previous discussion was over and he was off the hook. “Yes, although I’m probably going to surprise you anyway.”

  “An ultra-light laptop. Find me one to bring to class. This isn’t happening again.”

  He laughed. “All right, I’ll get you one. You’ve never asked me for anything before.”

  “You know how much I hate dealing with technology, and I won’t be near an electronics store over break.”

  “Are you sure I can’t come with you?” His expression suddenly turned serious.

  “No. It’s not because I don’t want to spend the holidays with you, but I need time with my mom.”

  “If you change your mind, I can get there anytime.”

  “I know. We’ll be back for New Years.”

  “Good. Otherwise I’d fly up there. We’re definitely starting the New Year together.”

  “Sounds good.” I yawned.

  “All right, I’ll let you go back to bed.”

  “How generous of you.”

  He leaned over and kissed me gently. “I’ll see you at the final.”

  I smiled. “Don’t forget, you have to take Hailey and me to the airport.”

  “I won’t forget.”

  He kissed me again.

  “If you don’t cut that out, I’m not going to be able to go back to sleep.”

  “Ordinarily I’d say that’s a good thing, but I don’t want any more trouble.”

  “Good night, Levi.”

  “Good night.”

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  My lips still felt swollen twenty minutes into our flight. Levi said he wanted to make sure I didn’t forget him. I think he was hoping to make me stay, or at least beg him to come. It’s not that I didn’t want him to come, but I needed to take some time and slow things down. I also didn’t want to deal with my mom’s reaction yet.

  “Could you quit making those lovey dovey faces? It’s making me sick.” Hailey playfully punched my arm.

  “I am not making a lovey dovey face.”r />
  “If you say so.”

  I shifted in my seat trying to get comfortable. “I do. Can we talk about something other than Levi?” To be honest, thinking about Levi was a welcome distraction from thinking over my art history exam. I completely blanked out on one of the pictures, and now I couldn’t get it out of my head.

  “You’re acting like we’ve been talking about him for hours—just because you can’t stop thinking about him doesn’t mean I’m doing the same.” She smiled.

  “I appreciate you coming.”

  “It’s not a problem. I’m excited to ski.”

  “I can’t believe you’ve never been.”

  “I’m from New Orleans. How much skiing do you think we have?”

  “Good point.”

  She took a sip from her bottle of water. “So are you going to ditch me on the bunny slopes, or are you going to join the humiliation with me.”

  “I’ll be with you. But knowing you, you’ll be on the double black diamonds by the end of the day.”

  “You’re probably right.”

  “Does that come from being a Pteron?” I gestured to her. “Or is it just you.”

  “Probably both.” She laughed.

  ***

  I thought it would be my mom waiting for us at the tiny airport, but it was Andrew and the last person in the world I expected to see. “Oh my god.”

  “What?” Hailey followed my line of vision. “Is that our ride?”

  “I can’t do this.” I stopped walking. People struggled to move by us.

  “I assume one is the future step-brother, but who’s the other?”

  “Toby.” I thought I might hyperventilate. I’m not one to panic, but this was bad. “And Andrew isn’t my future step-brother.” At least I hoped he wasn’t.

  “The Toby?”

  “Yes.” Somehow my ex-boyfriend was standing in the airport. I wasn’t sure who was behind it, but I wasn’t happy.

  “Damn.”

  “My thoughts exactly.”

  “We’ll get through this.” Hailey touched my arm.

  “I hope so.” They hadn’t seen us yet, and Toby paced anxiously.

  “The only good thing is that at least Andrew’s kind of cute.” Hailey checked out the black haired guy that liked to torture me in high school.

  “Gag me.” If she only knew how much of an annoying jerk he was growing up.

  “He is. He kind of has the geeky hot thing going for him.”

  I was prevented from answering her when Andrew called my name. “Hey, Allie!”

  At the sound of my name, Toby glanced over. He smiled and gave me a small wave.

  “Hi, Andrew.” I accepted his awkward hug, but really I couldn’t take my eyes off Toby. I so didn’t want to deal with him. This was supposed to be my time away to think about things with Levi. I didn’t need Toby around.

  “And hello to you.” Andrew moved over to Hailey, picking up her left hand and kissing it. She giggled. Hailey never giggled.

  I snickered and Toby took it as an invitation. “Hi, Allie.” He stopped a few steps away from me.

  “What are you doing here, Toby?”

  “I needed to see you. You never came home for Thanksgiving, and Jess said you were coming up here.”

  “Jess? When did Jess tell you?” I’d only told her a few days earlier.

  “She was with Emmett when you guys talked. He filled me in.”

  Of course, Emmett and Toby were practically best friends. “Oh.” That’s all I could muster.

  “I’ve been a mess. When you didn’t show up at school in August, I thought I’d die.”

  “Get real. We’d already been broken up for months.” I looked over at the empty baggage conveyor belt, willing it to start.

  “I didn’t see it as a break up. I thought you just wanted some time.”

  “I never gave you any reason to think that.” I crossed my arms.

  “Come on, Allie, you must have missed me. I know there’s another guy, but he can’t possibly be as good for you as I am.”

  I turned to look for Hailey. I’d gotten used to her saving me from awkward situations. She just shrugged. I guess there wasn’t much she could do at the moment short of us getting back on a plane. “Even without Levi, we wouldn’t be together.”

  “I don’t believe that. Jess said that’s why you stayed in New Orleans. If you’d have gone to Princeton, we’d be back together by now.”

  I shook my head. “No. We weren’t meant to be.”

  “How can you say it like that? I love you. And you love me.”

  How could I respond to that? I thought I’d loved him, but now I wasn’t sure I ever did. But how could I say that to the first boy who ever made my heart race, who I’d slept with more times than I could count. A boy who knew so many of my secrets, who knew what made me tick. “We’re over, Toby.”

  “See, you can’t even say it. You can’t say you don’t love me.”

  A loud beep announced that the baggage was about to start coming out. I used it as an excuse to get some space between us. I walked over to wait.

  “I’ve been here since eight a.m.”

  I turned to look at him. “Why?”

  “I only knew you were getting in today, not what time. I looked it up, and there was one flight originating in New Orleans, switching in Atlanta, that landed at nine thirty.”

  “Oh. I thought you just came with Andrew.”

  “You think I invited your ex-boyfriend to spend Christmas with us?” Andrew butted in. “That would be pretty low.”

  “So my mom doesn’t know Toby’s here?”

  Andrew shook his head. “I didn’t know until I found him waiting.”

  “Good.” At least I didn’t have to be mad at the people I was spending the week with.

  “You look great.” Toby’s voice came from right behind me. He pressed his body against my back, using the crowd as an excuse to get close. “But, then again, you always look great.”

  It was strange being so close to him again. It was familiar and comfortable in a way I didn’t like. “I don’t know what you were expecting, but I have a feeling you’re going to be disappointed.”

  “I wasn’t expecting anything. I just needed to see you.”

  I watched the sea of black bags moving around the belt. I noticed the pink tag I’d tied around the handle of my rolling suitcase and reached for it. Toby placed a hand over mine. “I’ve got it.”

  I backed up and let him pull it off.

  “What do you have in here, rocks?”

  I shrugged. “I brought a few pairs of boots and lots of sweaters.”

  He laughed. “You really don’t know how to pack light.”

  “And it’s really not your problem.”

  He nudged me with his free hand. “I’m just joking.”

  “There’s mine.” Hailey grabbed her bag.

  “I could have gotten that for you.” Andrew tried to take the bag.

  “It’s not a problem.”

  “Okay, if you’re sure.”

  I smiled. Hailey was enjoying his attention, even if she didn’t want to show it.

  I turned back to Toby. “You can drop my bag.”

  “I’ve got it.”

  “And I’m leaving.”

  “I’m going with you.”

  “No you’re not. Andrew is not giving you a ride.” I gave Andrew a look daring him to argue. He nodded. Maybe he wasn’t as bad as I thought.

  “Why don’t you let me give you a ride? I’ll follow Andrew back to where you’re staying. It will give us a chance to talk privately.”

  “Not a chance.” I yanked my bag out of his hand, quickly putting it down so I could roll it. “Let’s go.” I started walking, hoping Andrew and Hailey would follow.

  “Cut me a break, Allie. I left at three in the morning to drive up here.”

  I turned back to him. “Whose choice was that?”

  “How far away are you guys?” Toby asked Andrew.

  “Ab
out a half hour.”

  “I think you can handle thirty minutes in the car with me. You’ve spent a lot more time than that with me before.” He gave me his puppy dog look that always broke me.

  “And then what? You’re going to drop me off and leave.”

  “If you really want me to.”

  I turned to Hailey. “I don’t want to prolong this. Do you mind if I go with him and we’ll follow you?”

  “Not if that’s what you want.”

  Andrew grinned. “I’m sure I’ll keep Hailey entertained.”

  I waited as Andrew gave Toby the address of our condo in case we got separated. I hoped that wouldn’t be an issue.

  We walked out the lot. Hailey pulled me aside to whisper in my ear. “Call me if you need me. I probably shouldn’t separate from you, but you seemed to want some time to deal with him.”

  “I’ll be fine. It’s just Toby.”

  “Okay, I’ll be ready to talk when we get there.”

  I hugged her. “Thanks.”

  “Of course.”

  Toby opened the back of his silver Acura SUV. He wordlessly picked up my bag and placed it inside, next to his own, before closing it. He followed me to the passenger side and opened my door for me. Toby always insisted on that. When we first started dating it had seemed so charming. By the end, it got annoying.

  I buckled up as I waited for him to get in.

  He glanced over and smiled at me before typing the address into the GPS. He pulled out of the spot and caught up with Andrew as he paid and left the lot.

  “I can’t believe you’re really here.”

  “You and me both.”

  “Your friend seems nice.”

  “She is. She’s awesome.” At least Hailey was a safe topic.

  “Is she on your floor or something?”

  “She’s my roommate. We met over the summer.”

  “Oh, cool.” He fidgeted with the radio, finally settling on a classic rock station.

  It was obvious the car had been sitting outside for hours, it was freezing. I pulled my pea coat tighter around me, trying to get warm.

  “You cold?”

  I nodded. I really looked at him for the first time. Nothing about him had actually changed. He still had the same slightly long, brown hair, but he looked different. Almost older somehow.

  He reached over and turned on my heated seat. “I would have done that right away, but you’re never cold.”