The Not-Outcast

by Tijan

  Cut was quiet, turning off on our exit.

  I added, shifting to start seeing the line of cars waiting to get into Bresko’s, “He’s hurting you and her. Two people who care about him the most. She won’t tell me what he says, but I know they go back and forth. I also know that I’m the reason.”

  “Cheyenne.”

  I corrected, “He’s the reason, but you know what I mean. His thoughts, or whatever.”

  “I still don’t like it.”

  Which was fair.

  I didn’t know what else to say, but then Cut asked, “So, you finally saw Hunter, huh?”

  That was it. Now I totally knew what to say and I didn’t stop talking until we were pulling up to Bresko’s.

  Our treatment was a lot of the same when we headed inside.

  A water was handed instantly to me.

  Cut held my hand the whole time. The difference between our arrival tonight, versus our arrival the other night, was that it seemed there were more people around. Then again, it was Saturday night. I suppose that was bound to happen. I’d been talking about Hunter so much, I hadn’t paid attention to how many people were waiting in their cars, but I did remember that there was a larger-than-normal crowd waiting outside the doors.

  And as soon as Cut stepped out of his vehicle, word went through them real quick.

  I heard Cut’s name a lot. The phones went up and the flashes started.

  A few people were still in the entryway, and seeing Cut, they came over for autographs.

  He glanced at me, but I nodded and slipped away. I was okay with this.

  I got it. I really did.

  His eyes darkened and his mouth tightened, but that was his only reaction.

  They didn’t last long.

  It seemed the staff was on point.

  The autographs were signed. A couple selfies were taken, and they were whisked away by staff. The manager, the same one as the other night, showed us to the box. The exception this time was that a man was waiting inside.

  He was standing at the edge, watching the dancers with a drink in hand. The other hand was in his pocket. Dress pants. A white buttoned shirt, that was unbuttoned at the top, and the ends were loosely tucked inside his pants.

  “Tanner.” Cut strode forward, his hand already out.

  “Cut. Hey.” The guy turned, and I was greeted with a startling beautiful face. Shaggy blond hair. Dark eyes. He had a whole rakish feel to him, and he was checking me out while skirting between Cut and myself. He indicated me with the drink. “This yours?”

  Cut laughed, stepping back. “She is. This is Cheyenne. Cheyenne, this is Tanner. He owns Bresko’s.”

  Oh. Wow.

  This guy looked not even a day over thirty and he owned this place?

  “Hi. Hello. I’m Cheyenne.”

  Tanner’s mouth twitched. “It’s nice to meet you.” He said to Cut, “I was in town. Cary told me about your game, that a few of your teammates might be coming out. Thought I’d stick around, see if you were one of them.” He nodded to me. “And to meet your woman, it’s a double pleasure.”

  Cut turned to me. “I met Tanner a few years ago.”

  Tanner took a sip from his drink, his eyes looking me over before his mouth did another twitch. “Cut’s being very gracious. He met my brother, and I inherited Bresko’s through my brother. But,” his gaze swept past us and narrowed as he took another sip of his drink. There was a restless vibe to him now, and it crawled up my spine. I wasn’t sure if it was in a good way or not. “It’s nice that you pretend it’s been me this whole time.”

  “Tanner.”

  Danger, danger, danger was blaring in my head, but I didn’t feel it was in a bad way. That was confusing, but I still moved forward and curled a hand around Cut’s arm. I pulled him back, toward me.

  Tanner noted the motion. “See. Your woman has good instincts. Listen to her.” Then, he looked back over the dance floor, and his eyes seemed to catch on something—or someone. He tossed the rest of his drink back. “It was nice seeing you again, Cut. It was lovely meeting your better half, and now that I’ve done my owner’s duty, there’s a certain someone I’m off to go and see.” He held his hand out, shaking Cut’s, and then moving in and brushing a soft kiss to my cheek. He stepped back. “Enjoy tonight and forget about the game.”

  He was gone after that.

  “Tanner is…” Cut let out another sigh. “Tanner enjoys being a silent owner, like I enjoy being a silent investor.” We went to one of the booths and settled in. He turned to me, raking me over. “Chad’s on his way, and I need to know how you want me to handle him.”

  I started to repeat the same, but he held a hand up.

  “I know you’re going to say he did me wrong, not you, but that’s not the truth.” But he quieted, studying me, and I felt as if he decided a big decision. He nodded. “Okay. I know what to do.”

  I needed to say this, put it out there so he knew.

  “Most people have walls. That’s how they cope in life, and I don’t know why they’re up. I can only guess, but people like me, there’s an openness inside of us. And I know you might be questioning me about Deek and Chad, but those aren’t walls that I have for them. It’s like inside, I’m flat. I’m open. I have my struggles, and I love my struggles because they make me normal in a way. But I’m just not the same as you or Chad. I don’t operate the same. I have certain anchors in my life. Sasha and Melanie are anchors for me. Hunter. Come Our Way and the mission we have, is another for me. It’s like a continuous river inside of me, and I’m good to just keep floating along. Most people, home people like you, have walls. In my world, instead of just being on the river, you got a boat and a dock, and you have a home that’s off the river. You want to see the river, enjoy the river, but only when you’re protected. People like me, we’re in the river. And the river is wild, so I guess we’re wild, too. There’s also freedom there, but you got the danger that goes hand in hand with the freedom. Being safe, that’s what ‘home’ people are. They’re safe, but they’re boxed in. People like me, we want to be one with the river. Though, every now and then, I’ll come up to one of my anchors and I grab hold and I stay there for a bit. I don’t slip away because of my anchors. You’re one of them. You’ve almost dammed up my river and I really like that.”

  There.

  If that didn’t scare him away…

  He looked at me, and his head cocked to the side. It was like he was now seeing me in a different way.

  Like he was finally seeing me.

  “What does that mean?”

  What did that all mean? I had no clue.

  Then, I thought about it.

  “I think I’m willing to give up the river for you.”

  His eyes took on a tender and loving look. He softened, and he leaned toward me. “If you’re saying what I think you’re saying, then… me too.”

  I laughed lightly, almost laughing into his mouth because he was right there. “Although, in your world, your river is probably frozen over and you’re out there, skating away, playing hockey to your heart’s content.”

  “Cheyenne.”

  “Hmm?”

  “Shut up.”

  His mouth settled over mine, and I shut up.

  36

  Cut

  Hendrix was eyeing Sasha. And that was not making Chad happy.

  My box was next to the one that the Mustangs’ players used. I got my own because of my investment so when Chad showed up, I knew things would kick off with a bang tonight. And they had.

  Hendrix cozied up to Cassie as soon as he showed up. Cassie had Melanie there, and whatever they’d been sharing with him, he had a whole different look when it came to Sasha.

  Sasha, on the other hand, had barely left the booth where she was sitting with Cheyenne and myself.

  I left, though.

  I left to talk to Hendrix. I left to talk to the others. I left because it seemed that Sasha needed Cheyenne, so I was giving them some time. That’s
when Chad walked in, and then Hendrix’s eyes lit up.

  I recognized that look.

  It was the same one he got when we had an opponent he really wanted to destroy. Of the other guys from the team, only Crow and Alex came out tonight. They were the single ones, and both were in a far booth with five girls hanging around them. Two to each, and a third going between them. Totally in their element.

  Chad headed my way at the same time Hendrix decided to make his move.

  He slid into my emptied spot, but I know he did that so Sasha would have to see his face. When I would return, Hendrix would apologize, get up, and sit right next to Sasha instead. He’d make sure his arm was brushing against hers, but he’d wait to see if she was into it. If she wasn’t, he’d cut his losses and leave. I’d seen him do it a thousand times.

  “Hey.” Chad approached, but he was swinging a frown in Sasha’s direction right away.

  Hendrix lifted his drink to us in a salute, before doing exactly what I thought he would do. He sat in my seat and leaned forward, making sure Sasha had to see him to respond.

  “What the hell?”

  “How about you and me have our conversation before you head over for that one?”

  His gaze swung back to me, and he nodded. “Yeah. You want Cheyenne involved?”

  I shook my head. “Cheyenne’s made it clear that this is between you and me more than her.”

  He frowned.

  Yeah. It confused me, too, until I thought about what she’d said. Then it made sense and it also made me feel a certain way about her, even more.

  Hendrix and the others had joined my box once we got here, so theirs was now empty.

  Chad and I had our drinks and headed over. There was a booth overlooking the dance floor, but some of the sound was more muted there. I slid in.

  Chad slid across from me, and then he leaned forward, resting his elbows on the table.

  I started it. “How about you tell me what went down.”

  “Didn’t Cheyenne?”

  “I want to hear your version.”

  He nodded, his head down before he spoke. “Deek reached out. Thought it’d be fun to catch a game with Hunter and myself. Personally, I think he wanted to talk about Cheyenne and get a feel for what all was going on. He knows things have changed, that you’re seeing her now. I mentioned it when I went over to hang out one night with Hunter. But, yeah. He and Hunter were heading for concessions tonight. I came up behind and saw Cheyenne hassling them. I felt a certain way and got in there. I—”

  “Hassling?”

  Chad quieted. “That’s what Deek said. Hunter looked uncomfortable.”

  “Deek said that? Her father said that?”

  “If he said it, I don’t know. I’ve never not believed him.”

  What the fuck was Deek’s problem?

  “He’s supposed to be her dad, too.”

  “If she doesn’t want him around, he can’t force his way in there. You know?”

  “What the fuck, Chad? What the actual fuck?”

  He quieted again, frowning. He was looking to the right, to the left, up, down. He grabbed his drink, drank all of it in one go, and held it up, motioning for a refill.

  He was stalling.

  Fine. I’d let him.

  For now.

  But still, what the fuck?

  When the server brought over another one, she slid it over with a smile and included me with that. “You want another, too?”

  I shook my head. I’d barely touched my drink.

  As soon as she was gone, it was my turn.

  “Okay. Let’s go over this timeline. Cheyenne’s mom goes to rehab.”

  Chad nodded. “Correct.”

  “You had any interaction with her before that?”

  “Not a one.”

  “She comes into the house, you’re shipped out.”

  “Hunter too. Mom was worried about…” He trailed off, then added, his eyes darting down, “Cheyenne had a history of shoplifting.”

  “Shoplifting from stores?”

  He frowned, thinking, and then shook his head. “No. The neighbors, I think.”

  “So, food and water that the neighbors put out for Cheyenne, but she thought she was stealing?”

  He opened his mouth, had nothing to say, and shut it.

  That’s what I thought.

  I kept on, “According to Cheyenne, she was never told about Hunter. She found out his name in a meeting with her social worker.”

  “Really?”

  Everything in me went flat. How’d he not know any of this shit? “Thinking about my own brothers, if they existed and I was never told, I’d be going Reaper on someone. That would not fly with me.”

  He swallowed, reaching for his second drink. “Yeah. I can see what you mean.”

  Moving forward. “Her mom dies and she stays with her uncle. That ever hit you weird?”

  His mouth opened, again.

  His mouth shut, again.

  He had nothing to say, again.

  Except, “What are you getting at, Cut? You want me to light up the torches or something? I’m not going to do that. Deek’s not my bio dad, but I gotta say, he’s way better than the dad I did have. That guy was an asshole, and I love my mom. She did the best she could for us. If you’re trying to insinuate things a certain way, then back up because you’re wrong.”

  I was out of patience. “Cheyenne doesn’t hassle. Ever. She runs. She hides. She doesn’t hassle. You spend more than two minutes around her, and not fucking glaring at her, you’d wake the fuck up. You’re dead wrong about her, and I don’t know what Deek and Natalie were thinking when—”

  He shot up in his seat. “They were scared of her, okay?! Scared. I would be, too. I heard them talking to her social worker. They never knew I did, but I overheard the whole thing. Her file, she was crazy, and she spent more time on the streets than in an actual loving home. Think on that. Think about what that type of environment will produce. You want that coming into your house? No, thank you. I get where Deek and my mom are coming from. They were worried about their family. They just wanted to protect us. There’s nothing wrong with that.”

  I had to take a beat, because I couldn’t believe what I was hearing.

  Their family.

  Protect ‘us.’

  Crazy.

  Streets.

  ‘You want that coming into your house?’

  That. Not her.

  He was set in stone.

  He’d never get it right.

  Deek and Natalie were so ingrained in him.

  This was the same guy who helped check fuckers on the ice for me. He slept at my house. Ate at my parents’ table. He wrestled with my brothers. Played video games with us. I got drunk with this guy. Knew all about the girls he liked and the girls who liked him, and now I was staring at him and wondering where’d that guy go?

  But he was the same. There was just this other side in him, one that wasn’t meshing with me.

  “You’re quiet.” That was Chad speak for ‘what are you thinking?’

  “Yeah. I am.” That was code for ‘I’m not liking what I’m hearing.’

  His face twisted up in anger, and he jerked forward, hitting the table. He didn’t notice. Both his drink and mine spilled over. He didn’t notice that either.

  “I don’t understand our issue here. What’s your problem? You want me to be nice to Cheyenne? Fine. I’ll be fucking perfect to her. Polite. I’ll open the door for her. Want me to bow to her?”

  I was shaking my head, because Cheyenne’s words were coming back to me, and she was right.

  “She knew.”

  He stopped, a whole half-sneer showing. “She knew what?”

  “She told me that you weren’t hurting her.”

  He started to scoff, looking out over the club.

  I added, “You’re hurting me.”

  He looked back, the scoff disappearing.

  “You’re hurting Hunter.”

  His Adam’
s apple bobbed up and down.

  “And you’re hurting Sasha.”

  A scowl started. “I don’t get this. I’ve fucked chicks you didn’t like—”

  “It’s not about that. It’s not about you not liking Cheyenne. It’s about you being totally wrong about someone all of us care about. You like Sasha. I can tell.”

  “Yeah, but—”

  “No buts. You do. You say you do, then you say you don’t, then you’re breaking up with her, and then you’re screwing her brains out.”

  “Nice, Cut.”

  “That’s my point. You care enough, you care about how I’m talking about her. And I’m not even on the same level as how you’re talking about Cheyenne. ‘That.’ You called her ‘that.’”

  He flinched.

  I added, “You know the difference between how my family would’ve handled Cheyenne versus how yours did? My mom wouldn’t have looked at Cheyenne as a potential threat coming into the house. She would’ve seen a girl whose mom hadn’t been there for her, and she would’ve cried for her. Welcome fucking arms, man. Instead, Natalie probably hid the silverware. Two different drastic ways, and I can see that you’re still not getting it.”

  “I—”

  But he wasn’t. A whole blankness came over him when I was trying to explain it.

  “What do you want from me?” He threw his hand in the air.

  “Nothing. You can’t change your thoughts or your behaviors, and that’s what I’d need from you.” I started to stand up.

  “Wait, wait, wait.” Chad did, too, hurrying to block me from walking away. An edge of panic came over his face. He held his hands up. “Tell me what to do and I’ll do it.”

  “You’re a hundred percent wrong about Cheyenne, but you need to realize it. And it’s not about you liking the girl I’m falling in love with.”

  His eyebrows shot all the way up, and he rocked backwards.

  “She’s Hunter’s sister. Don’t hurt him because you’re wrong in the head. And fuck’s sake, that’s her father whose saying this shit about her. Think on that. Her father. If your dad said that shit about you—”

  Chad blinked a few times. “My dad is an asshole, though. He’s said and done worse.”