Darkest Dreams

by Jennifer St Giles

  “How so?”

  “Don’t tell me you’ve forgotten already? Remember the haunted mansion after tea?”

  My eyes popped wide. I had set that to the back of my mind and being reminded of it now let me know a very restless night lay ahead of me. “I’m getting a book from the library. Do you want one too?”

  “No. I’ll see you in the morning.” She danced up a few steps and I shook my head, walking toward the library. There were no lamps lit, and I was forced to run my fingers lightly along the wall of the corridor. I suddenly got the strangest feeling that someone was behind me. I turned quickly but only found the corridor and center hall empty.

  “Gemini,” I called, wondering if she had changed her mind.

  “Andrie, what is it?” came her loud whisper down the stairs.

  “Nothing,” I said. “Good night.” Finding the first door on the left, I turned inside the room and tripped over something large. I realized as I fell that it was the body of a man.

  Chapter Seventeen

  I ended up face down in the cushion of a wing chair, which muffled my scream. My knees stung as if I’d landed in a nest of angry bees, and my heart seesawed with my stomach until I heard a distinct snore from the floor behind me.

  Well at least I hadn’t stumbled over a dead body for my grand finale on the strangest day of my life.

  Getting shakily to my feet, I felt around for the lamp and lit the wick, then turned to find out who had nearly scared me to death. The Earl of Dartraven lay on the floor, and the strong scent of whiskey hovered in the air. His dark, gray temple locks were mussed, but not as badly as his cravat. And he wasn’t too far gone because when I brought the light closer to his face he flung an arm over his eyes.

  “Careful lass, I’ve indulged a wee bit too much and just might set us both on fire if I breathe near that lamp.”

  “Whatever are you doing sleeping on the floor in the library?”

  “Don’t think I planned it that way. Last I remember I believe I was looking for Pru.”

  “Who?”

  “That bloody woman who’s bewitched me. Prudence.”

  “Considering the state you are in I’d say it is extremely fortunate that you didn’t find her. What do you think you could have said to her as drunk as you are?”

  “She has some ’splaining to do.”

  “Here.” I reached down to tug on his arm. “Let’s get you off the floor and maybe I can hear you better.”

  The moment I touched him, I gasped and backed away. What the earl was thinking about Prudence told me that Alex and Sean were most definitely their father’s sons. Heavens, if people didn’t go “sailing” every hour, they at least thought about. Or at least the Killdaren men did.

  “What’s wrong, lass? Did I hurt you?” The earl sat up quickly, gaining his feet. He wobbled as if he were at sea in a storm.

  I cleared my throat. “No.”

  “Then what is wrong? Ye look a mite upset.”

  “I’m fine. What were you saying about Prudence?”

  “I said she had some explaining to do. For eight years I’ve been thinking she deliberately seduced me to have an easy life. But if that was the truth she never would have left the castle and went and lived in the village, to her own peril it would seem, right?”

  “That’s what I would think.”

  He groaned and sat down on the sofa. I ventured back to the wing chair. “How, in eight years, could either of you not have spoken of this?”

  “Pride,” he muttered. “It’s my fault. When Prudence told me she was in a family way, I didn’t take the news very well and told her that wasn’t supposed to happen. That she was messing everything up. I’d come to care for her, more than I’d cared for any other woman besides my wife, and the thought of losing Prudence in childbirth scared me to death. I told her we’d discuss it when I returned from London in a month, and I left. When I returned, Sean informed me that Prudence had gone to a convent and once she had her child she would be returning to live at Killdaren’s Castle as an honored guest for the rest of her life at his invitation. Prudence never said anything differently, and I assumed that was what she’d wanted all along.”

  “Sounds to me that you’re the one with the explaining to do. I hope it’s not too late.”

  “What do you mean, lass?”

  “By not going to her before you found out about what happened in the village, she’ll always wonder if you really do care for her or if you are feeling sorry about what happened. I know one thing for sure, though. You go to her like this, and she won’t believe a word you say. You have to show her that you really do care for her.”

  “How?”

  “That is something you’ll have to discover yourself. If I told you, then it wouldn’t be you caring for her, it would be me.” I stood and walked over to the desk where Bridget had put the book on Druid magic she had been reading earlier. Picking up the book, I went to the earl and bravely set my hand on his shoulder. I had to face my demons, but I also wanted to see what the earl really felt for Prudence. Deep down he loved her, but that was buried under a mountain of fear and denial and guilt that he was betraying his first wife by loving again. “I imagine you could make it right with Prudence if you really tried, but first you’re going to have to admit that you love her. Loving again doesn’t betray another’s memory.”

  I left him then, not really sure if he was capable of doing what it would take to win Prudence.

  After a predicted restless night where dreams of Alex and me together failed to keep the darkest dreams from coming, I rose, dressed in my prettiest tea gown of deep rose and ivory lace, and went in search of Prudence. I found her, Bridget and Cassie enjoying a breakfast of tea and scones with clotted cream and dried fruits.

  “Where’s Rebecca?” I said, joining them.

  “With Mrs. Murphy in the kitchens baking pies.” Prudence pushed a teacup into my hand, and as I touched her fingers, I felt her calmness inside, but I also felt despair. She honestly believed that having the earl learn about the village incident would negate any feelings he expressed now.

  “I tripped over a body in the library last night,” I said matter-of-factly.

  Teacups clattered amid gasps and cries.

  “A ghost?” Gemini oddly asked.

  “Don’t be ridiculous,” Cassie muttered. “There aren’t ghosts here.”

  Gemini bit her lip as if troubled. But I didn’t have a chance to study her expression.

  “Andromeda Andrews, if you don’t immediately explain, you’re going to be a body on Prudence’s floor,” Cassie said, glaring at me.

  I focused my attention on Prudence. “Ahem, it was a man in his cups thoroughly lamenting the fact that something he believed to be true for a number of years wasn’t true, and nobody told him differently. Personally, I believe that he shouldn’t have to be told, but unfortunately I have recently discovered how blind men can be to truths dangling in front of their faces.”

  Bridget rolled her eyes. “Blimey. You’ll have to tell us more. That description fits every man we’re up against at the moment.” She handed me a plate laden with goodies, which I immediately began enjoying.

  “The earl,” said Prudence. “Andrie found the earl. He’s more likely to drown himself in whiskey than face himself. The others busy themselves with astronomy or horses.” She turned to me, her golden eyes delicately sad. “Whatever he said, it doesn’t mean anything, not now.”

  I shook my head. “You don’t know that for sure. He knows his pride and false beliefs have wasted eight years. It would be a shame if that continued to happen.”

  Prudence sighed. “But I will never know if he truly loves and wants me.”

  “If you never give him a chance to prove himself then that would be true,” I said.

  Bridget sat back and crossed her arms in irritation. “Well, at least the earl may have seen the light now. Stuart’s so mired in the dark I’ll be an old woman before he’ll see anything but his own foolishness.”


  Cassie frowned. “Having been married for a month now, I’ve come to the conclusion that the only thing a man sees aside from his own foolish council is the bedroom.”

  Prudence gasped and Bridget giggled. I had to bite my tongue from agreeing whole-heartedly with my sister. That would have been too telling. As it was, I found it difficult to believe nobody had seen a change in me since I’d been intimate with Alex, because every part of me felt different. Couldn’t they tell how strong my feelings for him had become? I set my teacup down and stood. “On that wise note, I had better go or I’ll be late.”

  “How is the cataloguing coming along?” Cassie asked. “You usually rave on and on about every artifact you list, but you haven’t this time.”

  Turning from the doorway, I knew my cheeks had to be red flags as telling as a scarlet letter stamped upon my person for the whole world to see. I hadn’t spoken of artifacts because my thoughts were all of Alex. “That is most likely because my mind is boggled. I found entire crates of antiquities from Egypt that have been sitting packed and unseen for over thirty years.”

  “Good heavens,” Cassie said, surprised. “How did that happen?”

  “They’re in Alex’s mother’s room. She and the earl had just returned from Egypt and she went into labor before she could unpack the treasures, and gave strict instructions that they weren’t to be touched until she could take care of them herself.”

  “So she died in labor, and nobody has unpacked them in all these years?” Gemini asked.

  “That is correct.”

  Gemini set her teacup down and stood. “Is the room cold, Andrie?”

  “What?”

  “Do you ever notice a chill when you’re there?”

  I shook my head. “No. What would it matter anyway? “

  “Just curious,” Gemini said. “Rooms sometimes are that way. Like in the drawing room here. I can get so cold. Don’t forget we’re making an outing today just after tea time.”

  I studied Gemini a moment, tempted to cross the room and hug her so that I could read what she was thinking. I clenched my fist instead, wondering if I was slipping into a bad habit of deliberately reading people’s thoughts. That would make me some sort of monster.

  “I’ll be back,” I said and ducked from the room, realizing that I was living my life on a very precarious edge and the least ill wind would send me crashing to ruin, or worse.

  Had I expected Alex to be waiting for my arrival as he had yesterday, I would have been sorely disappointed. I learned an hour after I had arrived that he’d left without warning yesterday evening and had yet to return. By noon, I had worked myself into a fine state of agitation so great that I could barely see the artifacts I was supposed to be taking meticulous notes on. Rustic statues became lumps of clay and delicate etchings became chicken scratches with little meaning. I didn’t know with whom I was angrier—Alex for his absence or me for being upset by it. At the very least he could have left me a note.

  Finding a small box of carved figurines, I carried them to the window to examine their detail by a better light. They were made of jade no bigger than my thumb and packaged in such a way that I had to wonder if they were Egyptian at all. Slipping one from its niche, I held it up to a sunbeam and blinked it into focus, then stared hard, wondering if I were really seeing what I thought I was. Or if my mind had been completely corrupted by Alex yesterday.

  The figurine was a carving of a man and a woman together, naked and intimate. The woman was on her hands and knees with the man behind her, pressing into her, his hands cupping her breasts.

  “Good Heavens!” I exclaimed, looking back at the box. There were thirty-six niches.

  “Heavens what?” Alex said from just behind me. He pressed full against my back, slid a hand to my waist and leaned down, inhaling softly by my ear.

  I had to grapple with the box to keep from dropping it and only succeeded when he reached around me and grabbed hold of it.

  “Uh, nothing,” I said, trying to breathe in between the thundering beats of my heart.

  “You look a bit too flushed for it to be nothing, Andromeda,” he said, slipping the box from my fingers. I squeezed my eyes shut as he dug out a figurine.

  He chuckled. “Interesting and heavenly,” he said smoothly. “And to think this little gem has been hidden in a box for years. I’m in thorough agreement with you, Andromeda. These antiquities need to be displayed so that all may enjoy them. Where shall we put these? In the grand entry hall?”

  Turning to face him, I opened one eye to see him caressing the carved jade breasts of a woman who sat upon a man as if astride a horse. I dampened my lips. “If you want every visitor to go ‘sailing’ upon your marble floor then I think that would be a fine thing.”

  He laughed again. “So you’ve been thinking about sailing, have you, lass?”

  Before I could find my voice to answer him, he placed the figurine back in the box and inserted his fingers into my closed fist, extracting the one that I still held. After sliding his finger along the woman’s back, he returned that one to its empty space. Then he held the box out to me. “Pick one,” he said.

  “What do you mean, pick one?” I squeaked. “You sound as if you are offering me a chocolate to savor.”

  “Better than chocolate, my dear. If you are daring enough, I’m offering you the chance to challenge my abilities. Pick one and I’ll make it happen now.”

  My breath escaped in a whoosh of air, and I felt light-headed from the racing thud of my heart. A very strange and excitingly hot tingle centered itself between my legs. I should be outraged, I should have railed at him for being gone, but I was too intrigued. I lifted my finger, deciding that I would choose the second figurine I had fished from the box, the position where I would be in control, or so it seemed. But he pulled the box away. “You have to close your eyes, and I have to spin the box around a bit, so that neither of us will know what it will be. Close your eyes.”

  I did, and he bent down and kissed me first, gently, then more insistently. I leaned into him, breathing deeply of his scent.

  “Now choose,” he whispered.

  This time, my hand shook and my palm dampened as I reached and felt the dividers on the box. I slid my finger across a row and then dipped it into a square.

  “Excellent choice,” he said.

  I popped my eyes open. “What?”

  He palmed the figurine and shook his finger at me. “You can’t see yet. You’re not ready.”

  Good Lord! What had I picked? “What do you mean I’m not ready?”

  “You’ve got all of your clothes on and you’re not in bed. You can’t see this until then.”

  “That’s not fair. How do I even know I’ll want that?”

  “Trust me. You will. Shall we?” he said, holding out his arm. After a sharp glare at him I set my hand on his arm, hoping I’d get a clue from his thoughts, but I felt nothing save the heat of his muscled arm beneath the soft fabric of his linen shirt. By all appearances he was a gentleman leading me to the ballroom, but my insides were tumbling end over end. Yesterday, I hadn’t planned to be in Alex’s arms, but it had happened. Now I’d made an even bigger step, for I was planning on being in his arms again, and wasn’t sure if this was the move that would send me falling over the precipice I wavered on. For I wanted there to be so much more between us than the physical expression of love. I wanted all of the things that I could never have. I wanted him forever. Suddenly, walking into his arms, letting myself become more intimately entwined with him had my heart aching, and part of me knew that being with him again would only make the parting harder. And another part of me wanted to grasp every moment that I could, to savor every experience, to love him just once more.

  I halted at his bedroom door, unsure what to do. “Mrs. Lynds is expecting me down for lunch shortly.”

  “I had her pack a picnic and send it to the stables with Brighty. I’d planned an outing for us this afternoon, so she’ll not be expecting you.”<
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  “Oh.” I moved on into the bedroom with him. He shut and locked the door. I swallowed the lump of nervousness lodged in my throat. “Perhaps we shouldn’t let the meal go to waste.”

  “It’ll wait. We’ll picnic after and be hungrier for it.” He slid his fingers into my hair and expertly eased out the pins until my hair fell down my back and over my breasts.

  “I’ve a concern that needs to be addressed,” I said hesitantly.

  “Which is?” His fingers settled on my bodice buttons and plucked them free from their moorings, exposing my nearly sheer chemise. He flicked his thumbs over the tips of my breasts, and they pebbled to hard tips. My heart fluttered, and my intimate flesh dampened with need.

  I grabbed his wrists as he palmed my breasts. “I’m sure you’re more knowledgeable on these matters, but how exactly can I prevent…well—”

  He slid his hand up to cup my cheeks and looked seriously into my eyes. “Having a child?”

  “Exactly.” I exhaled with relief that he understood and thought my concern important.

  “That’s why I journeyed to Penzance last night. I have taken care of the matter. We’ve several options, which I will explain later. Now, if you’ve run out of excuses, I would very much like to kiss you again.”

  “I wasn’t—”

  His lips settled on mine. “You were,” he mumbled against my mouth, then slid his tongue inside to gently sweep across the tip of mine before plunging deeper. I ran my hands over the hard planes of his chest up to the broad curve of his shoulders and into the silk of his dark hair, leaning closer to his heat. His scent, so exotic and heady, surrounded me, made me want to bury myself into him and revel in the sensations.

  As he thoroughly kissed me, several deft moves left me only in my stockings and boots with my clothes a puddle at my feet. He started to kneel before me, and I caught his arm, urging him to stay. I focused on his shirt buttons and managed to loosen three of them before he impatiently jerked the shirt over his head. Sliding to one knee, he untied my garters and pulled down my stockings before easing off my boots. Once I stood naked before him, he ran his hands from the tips of my toes all the way to the aching points of my breasts, seemingly memorizing every dip and curve. He blew his hot breath over the curls of my sex as he cupped my breasts, making me shiver to the very center of my being with anticipation. Scooping me up into his arms, he set me on the silky counterpane of his bed, and I sat up, watching him undress, noticing for the first time that he was sun-bronzed everywhere. His arousal jutted large and thick from a mat of dark black, curly hair. If he hadn’t already been inside me I would have claimed the deed impossible. He was so silky dark to my golden light.