by Jude Ouvrard
“You better start eating now. You look exhausted.”
“Aren’t you eating?” I asked, and he nodded then disappeared into the kitchen. He returned with a second plate and glass of water.
“How’s your arm and wrist?”
I tried lifting my stitched arm but the pain made me drop my fork on the small coffee table facing the couch. My other side was hindered by a broken wrist, so I had no idea how all this food would make its way to my mouth. Running out of energy, I started to cry at how helpless I felt. What was I going to do with two useless arms? Going to the bathroom alone would be brutal. Dammit.
“Hey, beautiful. Don’t worry. I’ll feed you. Look at me, Tiff. I’m here for you, don’t you forget it.” Brushing away my tears, he gave me a small smile. “This is why I wanted you here with me. I’m going to take care of you, okay?” He picked up my fork, scooped some macaroni on it, and fed me. All I had to do was eat. We proceeded the same way for the next two bites. And then until I couldn’t take it anymore and burst into a laughing fit at how miserable my life was.
“K, seriously. This is a disaster, my life is a disaster. What am I going to do when you have to go to work? And… and... I can’t work like this. Oh, my god, Kyle. This is a nightmare.” Laughter changed to sobs. My mood kept changing; I couldn’t even keep up with myself.
“Tiffany, stop worrying. Levi and Val can cover work until you are better. Trust me, taking some vacation days might do me good, too. I haven’t taken much time off from the shop in the past couple of years. Don’t feel bad, I want to do this for you. To show you I can be good and earn your trust. Completely.”
He waited for me to say something but words failed me. Why was he doing this for me? He cared, okay… but taking time off from work for me? “Kyle…”
“No, Tiff. Now, you eat. Then, I’ll brush your teeth and you’ll get some rest. You are far too tired and you need sleep. Doctor’s orders.” He brought another scoop of macaroni to my mouth.
Kyle fed me until I couldn’t keep my eyes open anymore. I knew I’d hit my head pretty hard because, normally, staying up late had never been a challenged. The more I rested, the faster I would be back to my real life. Work, training and… Kyle. Well, that last part wasn’t going to change now or later. We were together, working on our thing.
“Sleep, beautiful. I’ll join you soon.”
Before drifting off to dreamland, I heard him cleaning the dishes. Even if I wanted to try, I wouldn’t be able to help. You’re useless, Tiff, and in no condition to impress Kyle.
It seemed a moment later his arms found me and folded around me. “Sleep, beautiful. I’m right here.”
I found comfort against his body, feeling it warm mine. If this was going to be my life for the next week, Heaven could be jealous.
Tiffany
When I woke up again, Kyle was gone, but a note had been left on the pillows.
I hope you never read this note and that you’re still asleep on my return.
If that isn’t the case, I went to the grocery store since I’m running out of everything.
Don’t move, relax, I’ll be home by 10 am at the latest.
Yours, K x
It took less than a second after reading his note to melt completely. Kyle was cute, in every sense of the word. He used to be cold, careless, and arrogant, but he’d transformed into a gentleman. I had seen him act nice around the girls and now, it was my time. He was redemption incarnate. Proof that not all men were selfish assholes.
From my spot on the bed, I could see the time on his Blu-ray player; it was a matter of minutes before his return. I sat up and tried to move my arms a bit, but my body had grown stiffer since yesterday. From the tip of my fingers to the back of my shoulders, everything ached, more than a long day of training on the parallel bars had back in my gymnast days. In fact, nothing had ever hurt this much. If I could find my pain pills, I would take one or two. So, I got up and started moving around Kyle’s place.
My whole body hurt with every step I took. In his kitchen, there was no trace of our late night dinner, everything had been cleaned and taken care of. I took mental notes: Kyle loves his place in mint condition. Too bad I was not always so tidy. This might be an issue, but I also knew without thinking too much that I wanted to be better for him. And for myself.
Dizziness got the best of me, and I ended up sitting at the kitchen table hoping my head would stop spinning. It transformed into a headache which had me praying Kyle would get here fast enough to save me again. I closed my eyes and let my hands rest on the table, subduing the burning ache.
When he turned the key into the lock, my heart beat quickened and my eyes opened wide.
“Tiffany, you’re so pale. How long have you been up?” he asked placing grocery bags on the counter. Taking a small glass from the cabinet, he filled it with fresh orange juice and added a straw so I could drink by myself, then put it on the table in front of me. “Drink this. How are you feeling?”
“I’ve been better. Every inch of my body is screaming in pain right now.”
“Time to get your meds. I should have woken you earlier for them. You wouldn’t be in pain now if I had.” Kyle placed two tablets on my tongue, which I swallowed down with the juice and a sigh of relief. The orange juice was so cold it made me shiver.
“S’okay.” I’d never felt so tired in my life. Sleeping in this morning had turned out to be great for me. The pain sucked, yes, but sleep was a priority, too.
He unpacked a few things from the grocery bags. While leftovers reheated in the microwave, he loaded a bowl with fresh fruit. “I’ll help you,” Kyle said placing the bowl before me.
“I had high hopes of feeling better today, but I guess this is going to be one of those ‘one step forward and a thousand steps back’ kinda things.” I tried to make it sound funnier than it was.
“We got this, Tiff. Now, open your mouth. I got you raspberries from the market. They’re delicious.” He popped two into my mouth before he started mixing eggs, cheese, and veggies which then went into a warm pan. It looked delicious. An asparagus omelet with melted cheese on top.
“Feckin’ hell, Kyle… if I had known you were this great of a cook, I would have gotten myself hit by a car a lot sooner.”
Kyle started laughing. “You’re an idiot for saying that.” A couple of raspberries sailed through the air which he caught in his mouth like a champ. “The most beautiful idiot, though.” He laughed some more.
“Are you calling me an idiot?” I said laughing.
“I am.” He fed me green grapes. “You had all my attention way before you were hit by a car. I thought you knew that? Besides, you living here was a matter of time. I can promise you, you won’t want to go back to your studio.”
“So bloody confident, Kyle.” I loved it.
“That’s how I am, Tiff. Better get used to it.” He chuckled, a beautiful smile on his face.
This man was gorgeous. So gorgeous he made my heart flutter.
We ate breakfast, and once the medication kicked in, my day kept on getting better. We moved to the living room, where he wrapped me in his arms and we watched cartoons, laughing like little kids the whole time.
“I can’t laugh anymore or I’m going to pee my pants.” All morning, I’d been waiting for the meds to take effect so I could use the toilet without too much pain. “I really have to go to the bathroom, now that I mention it.”
“Do… do you think you’ll be okay?”
What? Is he offering? Shitting hell… No! Kyle was not going to watch me do my business.
“Um, I can look after myself, thanks.”
“What if you can’t?”
This was embarrassing, and I’d never felt more shy as a soft laugh escaped me. “I’m not going to let you wipe me down there, Kyle. We’ve been intimate, I know, but that is way too intimate.”
He nodded but didn’t bother saying anything else until I’d left the living room, shouting, “Let me know if you need anything
. Just so you know, besides being a tattoo artist, I also used to be a piercer, so I can check out a downstairs without it being sexual. If that makes any sense?”
My face bloomed with heat. “It does, but I’ll still handle myself. Thanks.” Cleaning myself up wasn’t going to be easy. Rather than worry about that, I wondered, How many piercings has he done? Is that his thing? Does he like causing pain? His admission had me curious. The answers wouldn’t change how I perceived him, of course, but the questions made me realize I had a lot more to learn about him.
When I entered his huge bathroom—it was almost the same size as my studio—the sight of myself in the mirror was a major shock. I looked like hell. My outside matched exactly how I felt on the inside, though. There was a large bruise on my cheek. My hair was twisted in a bun on top of my head, kind of like Marge Simpson. Turning to look at the huge bandage on my neck, I noticed blood had seeped through. Shit, I thought to myself. I’m a mess.
Wadding some toilet paper in my hands first, I then dropped my jogging pants to my knees. My pulse throbbed in my temple; the simple movement had made my heart work extra hard. Easing down to the seat, I sighed and closed my eyes. How was such an easy thing making me so tired? Once I’d done my business, I took a deep breath and stood to clean myself up. The pain in my arm was excruciating, so much so that I held my breath until I was done.
Small knocks echoed through the door. “Are you okay in there? When you’re done, I’ll help remove the bandage and clean up the stitches.”
“Come on in,” I said, admitting defeat. “I need your help, Kyle. I can’t do this alone.”
The door eased open at first, and then he came rushing at me. Holding one of my hands, he asked, “What do you need? What can I do to help you?”
“I would love to take a bath.”
He nodded then helped push my jogging pants the rest of the way to the floor. “Let me get the water running, then you can sit back and I’ll take a look at the cuts, okay?”
“Please.”
As Kyle pulled my top over my head, he took a brief moment to look at my body. His eyebrows furrowed and a pained look haunted his face. “I’m so happy you’re alive, but I still hate seeing you like this.” Stepping closer, he reached for my waist then brushed up to the clasp of my bra. The lingerie undone, he let it fall down my shoulders without ever taking his eyes from mine.
There were so many things I wished to say and do, but he’d rendered me unable to speak or move.
“Tiff,” he whispered against my lips. “I’m falling in love with you.” His voice grew weaker with each word, and so did my knees. Not that I would have, but he didn’t give me a chance to pull away before he was kissing me.
Not hungry, and not prudish, but a perfect kiss. One which made me forget where I was and the pain radiating throughout my body. Kyle’s presence made me feel worth; I meant something to someone.
Our lips connected, and I wanted to say it back to him, but I was still scared to say it out loud. So, instead, I showed him the best way I could. By holding him to me.
“Tiff, we have to stop, baby, or else I’m going to hurt you.”
I didn’t move away from him, and we stared at each other for the longest time. The words were on the tip of my tongue, but my lips were sealed.
“You’re perfect, Tiff. Sometimes I feel like I don’t deserve you.” The way he looked at me then, made me believe he understood the fight inside of me.
“Why would you say that?”
He shrugged. “One day, I’ll tell you my secret.” Lifting me into his arms like he would do a baby, Kyle lowered me into the warm bath. “What I wouldn’t do to join you.”
Should I ask about his secret? I wondered, but said, “Why don’t you?”
He pointed at my bandages. “I hope this won’t hurt. They said soaking them first would make it easier to get them off.” Kyle tugged at the bandages on my arm, making every effort to be gentle. “Well, that doesn’t look too bad. It bled a little, but it looks like it’s healing already.”
Taking a small towel and dousing it with cold water in the sink, he pressed it delicately on my stitches. The pressure made me uncomfortable, and I tried not to wince, but it still hurt. When he my arm was clean, he proceeded to my neck. This time, there was more blood on the towel as he dabbed at the wound, and the pain was greater.
“I’m sorry, babe. I don’t mean to hurt you.” He groaned but applied more pressure anyway. “It’s like a tattoo, this area is subject to more movement. Every time you move your neck, it creates tension.” He blew some air on the cut. “That’s why you need to rest.”
“That feels good, Kyle. Keep doing it, please. Just for another minute.” For the next several minutes, he tended my cuts, and when he was done, I asked, “Will you join me?”
“I’d love to, but I’m not sure it’s a good idea. You were hit by a car, Tiff. You should be in bed resting. Plus, I don’t want to hurt you.”
I rolled my eyes. “Join me, please. Sit behind me so I can lean against you. Like we were sitting on the couch…” I trailed off knowing I had him. A sigh escaped his lips, and I understood why he hesitated, but there was no difference between here and the couch.
“Fine, but be careful, you don’t have your bandages protecting you anymore. I’ll apply ointment after our bath.”
From the corner of my eye, I caught the shadow of clothing being thrown in the laundry basket. First his socks, and then, his boxers. Biting my bottom lip, a thrill raised inside of me. I had done worse things with Kyle than taking a bath, but sometimes the simplest things excited me the most.
“You’ll have to move a little.” He stepped into the water behind me. Seconds later, his legs were sliding along each of mine as his hands reached around my waist. “Relax, beautiful,” he coaxed and kissed my hair over and over again, and I couldn’t get enough. The only reason to get out of this tub would be the water turning cold, because everything else was perfection.
I love him, I thought. I was almost a hundred percent sure of it, but the words wouldn’t come out.
Yet.
Kyle
We stayed in the bath, with our legs entwined, until the water turned cold. I would have endured the cold water if it meant staying with her like this. The curves of her body were a perfect fit against mine. Her skin was so soft against the palm of my hands. I believed something strong had started to build between us.
Helping her get dressed, we found every excuse possible to kiss and touch. Although the tension between us had grown palpable, I wasn’t an idiot. We couldn’t. I would treat her like a gentleman. I had given myself a goal to show her any way I could how good we were together. Yes, I still thought about Cassi, who I would always love, but I had come to terms with our story. I’d grieved her death for so long, but now I was starting to live again.
Something in the way Tiff looked at me and touched me, made me believe she loved me. That was enough. When I told her how I felt, her reaction pleased me. She’d blushed a beautiful shade of red while her eyes shined with happiness. Emotions didn’t have to be spoken with words. Tiffany would say them sooner or later.
Patience was all I needed.
“Are you tired? How are you feeling?” I asked guiding her to the couch; she was supposed to be resting, after all. Of course, I used the excuse to hold and love on every inch of her.
“Better. The bath helped. It would’ve been nice to wash my hair, though.”
The doctor had said to wait up to seventy-two hours before washing her hair. I was all for breaking rules, but not when they concerned her. “After tomorrow, we’ll wash your hair.”
“K?” The way she said my name without saying more caught my attention. “There’s something you said earlier, and it has me curious.”
“What about?” I’d said many things earlier, she’d have to be more specific.
“You said you had a secret…”
Right, I should have known she would ask about that. Closing my eyes, I tried
to find the words which were about to be spoken. I had never talked about this with anyone. It’d been my deepest secret.
“Forget I asked about it, Kyle. I’m sorry,” Tiff mumbled when I didn’t start talking right away.
I shook my head. “No, Tiff, you have every right to ask. It’s just that I’ve never talked about this with anyone. It brings a lot of pain back, so I’m trying to figure out how to say it.”
“Is it about Cassidy?” Her hesitant voice told me she didn’t feel comfortable bringing my old lover up, and I didn’t like that. Whether we liked it or not, Cassi would always be a part of my past. She still filled a big part of my heart.
“Yes. I’m sorry to bring her up again.”
Tiff seemed surprised by my apology. “Don’t be sorry. I completely understand, and I can’t be jealous of her. I won’t lie, under different circumstances, I might be jealous of her but… oh, I’m rambling now. She’s your past and we can’t change or erase it, babe. We can’t, and I’m okay with that.”
I noted that she’d called me babe for the first time without taking it back or showing regret, and smiled.
“We were engaged. While she was working extra hard to be the prima ballerina, I was studying to be a real estate agent. My only goal at the time was to be the best husband I could be. I wanted to give her the perfect life…” The emotions got to me, and I paused, taking a few seconds to regain control. I was about to tell Tiffany my biggest regret. “She died right next to me after being shot by a stray bullet. It was totally random. That alone was enough to completely break me, but the thing is…” I trailed off and tried to swallow. My mouth had gone dry. “Tiff, Cassi was ten weeks pregnant. I was going to be a father. It scared me shitless but also made me so fucking happy, too. I had never been that happy. That morning had been the best moment of our life together. We’d just heard the baby’s heartbeat for the first time and we were beyond happy.”