Water Goddess

by Crystal Inman

  Kendra frowned and shook her head. “You would take his chance away to show you the man he is? You would cripple him before he even starts?”

  “This isn’t about him!” Erin slammed her fist on the table. “It’s about me. It’s about who I am.”

  Kendra took one last sip of her mug and stood. “It’s about both.” She turned and left the kitchen. The front door shut a minute later.

  Erin cradled her head in her hands and briefly wondered if the school offered stress leave. She blew out a breath and tried to steady herself but found that she was okay. Her headache hadn’t come back. Her hands weren’t shaking. She actually felt a bit relieved now that she told Kendra the truth. Or most of it.

  She didn’t feel the need to rehash every moment in the various foster homes. Or talk about the nameless, faceless men she slept with from the ages of fourteen to sixteen. It all faded into one long nightmare that at the time she thought would never end. The very day she turned sixteen, she applied for a job washing dishes. And that was the beginning for her.

  Every day she would work an eight hour shift and study for her GED in the evening. She had always enjoyed schoolwork but never had the time or energy to deal with it when she was younger. She just tried to survive at that point. But as soon as she started to study for her GED, her life began to fill with purpose.

  Every morning would be dishes. Every evening was her workbook. And when she finally took the test, she passed. She was seventeen then. A girl afraid of shadows and men. A girl who worked another year before she quit her job and enrolled at the university. And she worked while she went to school. Saving her money. Studying as hard as she possibly could.

  Erin learned the value of wanting something badly enough to sacrifice to attain it. She knew in her first semester that she wanted to be a teacher. Small children who would need a guiding hand. She didn’t want to teach the older children. It was still almost unbearably painful to look at other teenagers and compare herself to them. So she completed her elementary education degree and minored in psychology.

  She had remade herself after college. After her painful lesson with Steve, she quit looking at men. Quit even thinking about have a relationship with any of them. She was tainted. It was a fact she accepted. And no man affected her.

  Until Daniel Rodriguez.

  The man she just seemed to be going on a picnic with this afternoon.

  Erin pressed her fingers to her temple. It was like drowning slowly. Her head would bob, and she would breathe. Only to sink once again. She had to control this before it got too far out of hand.

  She would let Daniel know today that there could never be anything between them. Ever. It didn’t seem fair to enjoy his kisses while she knew it never would, never could, go any farther.

  * * * *

  Erin glanced up at her kitchen clock. Almost noon. She smoothed down her tan shorts and grabbed the homemade chocolate chip cookies she made earlier. She couldn’t remember the last time she actually baked, but these had turned out pretty good.

  Cooking was another thing she learned so she could save her money and only spend it on the necessities. There were a great many failures, but now she could put together a simple meal without burning down the house. And her cookies were better than average.

  Erin nervously grabbed one and nibbled on it. She still wasn’t used to the butterflies that swept through her at the thought of seeing Daniel again. She groaned and tightened her ponytail.

  I’m a basket case. Erin took another bite of the cookie and glanced at the clock again. And then Kendra’s words came back to her. Acceptance. Isn’t that something she fought for all her life but truly never received? She could have bitten her own tongue when her past spilled out of her mouth and to her teaching assistant.

  But Kendra didn’t call her names or look at her like a piece of trash. She had been indignant. Upset because Erin was left to make the best of a situation that had destroyed others. Kendra accepted her. The thought rocked her so badly, she sank into the nearest kitchen chair.

  Was she insulating herself? But wasn’t that what she had done for years? Keeping everybody out and herself in? Not showing anyone the ugliness? The invisible scars she always carried?

  “I can’t do this,” she whispered. It felt as though she were splintering in two. The desire to tell Daniel warred with her strong sense of self-preservation. This was a man who was rooted in family. A huge, glorious family that loved each other. What would he do with a former prostitute as a girlfriend?

  The bile rose in Erin’s throat. She could never tell him. They would be friends. Just friends. And he need never know how badly it hurt her to stay that way. Her hands shook slightly as she replaced the tinfoil over the rest of the cookies.

  The knock startled her, and Erin took a second to compose herself. She smoothed her bangs down and made sure all the buttons on her short-sleeved blue shirt were done. Then she slid her feet into her tan sandals and walked toward the door. She turned the knob and pulled it open.

  They made a picture. It nearly stopped Erin’s heart in her chest.

  Daniel stood proudly behind the children in blue jeans and a blue button-up shirt. His dark hair was slicked back and pulled into a ponytail. He had his left hand on Erica’s shoulder. She was dressed in blue jeans and a pretty yellow shirt with a blue butterfly zipping across it. She wore plain white sandals, and her toenails were painted yellow. Her dark hair hung loosely about her face, and there was a shy smile on her face.

  Daniel had his right hand on a wriggling Juan with a mile-wide grin on his face. It showed the adorable gap where his top two front teeth used to live. The boy was dressed in jean shorts and a shirt with a ferocious dinosaur on it. He wore brown sandals that buckled across his feet. Someone had tried to tame the wild black hair on his head, but it looked to have been a losing battle. It simply stuck up here and there randomly as if waving from his head.

  “Are you ready?” Juan asked impatiently.

  “Juan.”

  The single word made the boy look up at his uncle. He sighed. “Would you please join us, Miss Sanders, for a picnic?”

  Erin was utterly charmed. She beamed at the young man. “I would be delighted.” She cocked her head to the side. “I don’t suppose you like chocolate chip cookies, do you?”

  “Are you kidding?” The small boy’s grin widened to impossible lengths. “Are you bringing some?”

  “I believe I am.” Erin picked up the plate off the table by the door.

  Daniel cleared his throat. Erin glanced up at him with a smile. The smile froze on her face. He looked at her intently, and she blushed under his scrutiny.

  Erica moved forward and reached for Erin’s hand. “You can sit with me in the back,” she whispered.

  “I’d love to.” Erin broke eye contact with Daniel and grabbed her slim brown purse to sling over her shoulder. “We’ll let the boys drive, shall we?” She locked the door behind her and followed the small group out to the car.

  The black Bronco was lovely. All tinted windows and polished chrome. It was obviously one of Daniel’s pride and joys. He gallantly opened the back door and waited for both ladies to climb inside.

  Erin handed the cookies to Erica and hopped in. The gray plush inside was lovely. She caught Erica’s eye and winked. Then Erin slid her sandals off and ran her feet along the soft carpet.

  Erica giggled, and Erin smiled. The girl slid her own sandals off and mirrored Erin’s actions.

  Daniel climbed inside and quickly started the vehicle. Juan fidgeted in his seat and looked at his uncle.

  “How much longer?”

  “Juan.” Daniel sighed and then grinned. “Ten minutes. That’s it. Would you like to play your Game Boy until then?”

  “Si!”

  Daniel reached into a compartment between the seats and handed the boy a small handheld electric device. “Only until we reach the park. And with the volume down low. Understand?”

  “Yes, Uncle.”

&nb
sp; Seconds later, Juan was totally engrossed in whatever was happening on the small screen in front of him. His nimble fingers flew over the buttons.

  Daniel looked in the rearview mirror. “Are you two okay back there? Too hot? Too cold?”

  Erin grinned at him. “We’re fine, though we may each have a cookie to tide us over.”

  “May I have one?” Daniel asked.

  “Sure.” Erin grabbed one and handed it to him. His fingers brushed against hers, and their eyes met in the mirror. Erin dropped hers and looked back at the cookies in her lap.

  “Would you like one, Erica?”

  “Okay.”

  Erin handed one of the biggest ones to her and watched as the small girl handled it delicately before taking a bite.

  This is going to be a good day. Erin leaned back against the seat and enjoyed the rest of the ride.

  They arrived at the park a few minutes later, and Juan flew out of the passenger’s seat with a yell.

  Daniel arched an eyebrow at him and waited for him to calm down. “You will carry the drinks, Juan. Can you do that?”

  “Yes, Uncle.” Juan moved around to the back of the vehicle.

  Daniel stepped out and helped Erica out. Then Erin scooted across, and he took her hand in his. She smiled gratefully but took her hand back as quickly as possible.

  “Mama packed us a picnic.” Daniel grinned apologetically. “In case you thought I had thrown this together myself.”

  Erin’s lips twitched. “What? No ‘S’ on your chest?”

  Daniel cocked his head to the side and then roared with laughter. “I’m no Superman,” he admitted. “I’m more of a Clark Kent, Erin.” He picked her hand up and kissed it before dropping it reluctantly and moving to grab the large picnic basket in the back.

  Erica moved closer to Erin, and Erin smoothed the girl’s hair down. Erica looked up and smiled shyly.

  Juan had a small ice chest clutched in both hands. Erin moved forward to help when Daniel’s small shake of his head stopped her.

  “We will be over there, Juan.” He pointed to a set of lovely red picnic benches closest to where they parked. “You may take the drinks.”

  “Si.” The boy’s cheeks puffed out as he manhandled the ice chest and walked stiltedly toward the chairs.

  Erin bit her lip to keep from laughing. The ice chest was nearly as big as the boy carrying it. She watched until he made it to the chair and set it down.

  “He carried it with pride, Erin.” Daniel’s voice broke through her thoughts. “If it had been too much, I would never have allowed it.”

  She swung around to look at him. “He’s something else, isn’t he?”

  “That would be one way of putting it.” Daniel smiled down at Erica. “Can you take the blankets, mija?”

  “Yes, Uncle.” Erica glanced down and waited for Daniel to give her the blanket to spread on the ground.

  He gently placed it in her arms and hooked the picnic basket over his arm. He shut the back door of the Bronco with his free hand. Then he looped his arm through Erin’s and smiled at her. They watched Erica walk over to where Juan stood.

  “You look lovely today, Erin.”

  She glanced up and watched Daniel’s eyes darken as they looked at her. Any and all words died in her throat at that look. There was desire written plainly across his face.

  Erin struggled for a second to get her arm back.

  “Just for today, Erin.” Daniel’s soft voice moved over her. “Don’t pull away from me. I won’t hurt you, querida. I won’t hurt you.”

  Erin nodded slowly and moved with him toward the picnic table and the children.

  He may not hurt her, but she would surely hurt him.

  Chapter 7

  Daniel instructed Erica to put the red-checkered blanket down and Juan set the ice chest on the corner of it. Then Daniel opened up the wicker basket and began to place the dishes side by side on the edges of the blanket.

  There was fried chicken, corn, beans, and rolls. Then Daniel took out macaroni and potato salads.

  Erin blinked. “Maria knew there was only going to be four of us, right?”

  “Mama knew.” Daniel pulled out two fluted glasses and smiled at her. “But she also knows what a bottomless pit Juan is.”

  The boy snickered. “You’re the bottomless pit, Uncle.” He grinned his toothless smile and giggled.

  “Impertinent boy.” Daniel chuckled. “Open up the cooler, Juan. You may get one soft drink for you and your sister.”

  “Awesome!” Juan reached in and took an orange soda for himself and a root beer for his sister.

  Daniel reached in and plucked out a bottle of red wine with a smile. “And this, my dearest Erin, is ours.”

  Erin blinked. She’d never been on a picnic before. Not once. And there was this lovely man who thought to bring her along and feed her. To include her in this moment.

  She stood quickly. “I’ll be right back.” Erin glanced around and saw the restrooms. She hurried toward them with tears burning behind her eyes. Once inside, she locked the door on the stall and sat on the toilet while tears ran unchecked down her cheeks. She sniffled and tried to steady her emotions.

  “Erin?” Erica’s small voice echoed off the walls.

  “I’m here, Erica.”

  “Are you all right?” The worry was evident in the girl’s tone of voice.

  Erin blew her nose and stood to unlock the door. She smiled reassuringly down at the girl. “I’m fine.”

  “You’ve been crying.” Erica moved closer and patted her arm. “I’m sorry. Are you sad?”

  “I’m happy.” The emotion moved through her mercilessly and had her eyes leaking again.

  Erica threaded her fingers through Erin’s. “Uncle Daniel is a good man. He likes you. Do you like him?”

  Erin bit her lip and tried to stem the tide of tears. She sniffed. “I like your uncle. Yes.”

  “But you’re afraid, aren’t you?” Erica cocked her head to the side. “Because you’re different.”

  “Oh, honey.” Erin pulled the girl closer. “My heart hurts from being different. I don’t know what to do.”

  The girl’s dark eyes looked up at her in understanding. “I like you, Erin. I know you’re different, and that’s fine. I want to be like you when I grow up. You’re pretty, and you’re smart.” She smiled shyly.

  Erin choked back another round of tears and held the girl tightly to her. One emotional breakdown for the day was enough. Two was teetering toward emotional instability. She got herself under control slowly.

  “Can you forgive me, Erica?” Erin peered down at her. “I did not mean to make my troubles yours.”

  “Are we friends?” Erica’s dark eyes flooded with uncertainty.

  “Yes, child. We are friends. You can always come to me.” Erin kissed the top of Erica’s head with a chuckle.

  “I’m glad.” The girl sighed.

  “Come.” Erin threaded her fingers through the small girl’s. “I’m sure the boys will be worried about us.”

  “Boys are silly.”

  Erin threw back her head and laughed. “That would be an understatement.”

  * * * *

  Daniel’s eyes were worried, but Erin managed to keep herself together during the picnic. They all ate a bit of everything. Daniel and Erin drank two glasses of wine and watched as Juan persuaded his sister to go play on some monkey bars.

  The park wasn’t busy at all. There were only a couple of children on the slides at the far end of the park. Erin nibbled on yet another cookie and washed it down with the last of her second glass of wine. She watched Erica and Juan play.

  “Will you talk to me, querida?” Daniel’s soft voice interrupted her thoughts. He moved his hand so that it covered her own.

  Now, her inner voice urged her. Tell him now. But to ruin this day with her past seemed almost profane.

  “I can’t,” she whispered. “Not today. Please, Daniel. Not today.”

  Daniel sighed an
d plucked the glass from her fingers. “As you wish, querida.” He packed the rest of the food up and placed it back in the basket. When the blanket was empty but for the two of them, Daniel stretched out and placed his head in her lap.

  The jolt of awareness stunned her. He had moved easily and simply lay there, silently asking her to accept his presence.

  Erin’s hands shook, and her body trembled at the close proximity of him. They lay perpendicular to each other. Both with legs stretched out. Daniel’s eyes were closed, and he breathed evenly.

  “I have wished this.”

  Erin blinked rapidly. “Wished this?” she squeaked.

  Daniel smiled. “To have your lap underneath my head, Erin. To simply be here with you and enjoy the sun shining and the sound of children’s laughter.”

  Charmed, Erin chuckled. “You wish for so little. How about world peace or something of the like?”

  Daniel’s eyes opened, and the hazel orbs pinned her. “I think this is enough for me.” He reached down and took her hand in his.

  Erin’s belly jumped with nerves. How calmly he placed himself close to her and offered something without taking anything. She bit her lip and then reached down to stroke his temple.

  He sighed. “That feels nice.”

  His words emboldened her. Erin touched his silky hair with a smile and softly freed it from its tether. She worked her hands through it blissfully. How could one man smell so good? Feel so good?

  Erin stroked his hair thoughtfully and let the day simply wash over her. It was nice. Better than nice, she admitted to herself. She glanced up to make sure the children were doing okay and grinned at Erica’s laugh. Juan was doing an impression of a monkey while hanging by his legs.

  “This is good for her.” Daniel’s voice broke her out of her reverie. “She rarely leaves the house anymore. Even school seems to be a trial for her. Her grades have slipped. I have hired a tutor, but she says Erica only pretends to study. She has no interest in anything.”

  “You have no idea why?”

  “None.” Daniel sighed. “My niece keeps to herself. She refuses to let anyone in. Even Juan is kept at a distance. I can’t remember the last time she laughed.” He closed his eyes again. “You will keep stroking my hair, yes?”