For the Best

by LJ Scar

  4) Got her kicked out of high school three months shy of graduating more than likely stealing her chance for college

  5) Leaving her for someone like Skylar

  I looked around at the twenty-something guys surrounding me, seriously chewing and spitting out what smidgeon of dirt they could or would be willing to share. I wouldn’t be sharing.

  The question changed. “When was the first time you told a girl you loved her?”

  I shook my head thinking these guys were like a bunch of chicks. I started to feel nauseous. Not from the booze or overheating too long but because I couldn’t remember. I was drawing a blank. When was the first time I told Hanna I loved her?

  Frustrated, I pushed out to sit on the lip. I hated the guy I was now almost more than that drugged asshole who I overcame after high school.

  Chapter 50

  January

  February

  March

  April

  Hanna

  “So how does this work? You get a key?” I asked after flying to meet Ansel for our first vacation together. He had finagled us free lodging at a cabin in Bangor, Maine close to Acadia National Park. Early spring, melting snow was still plowed into mounds in commercial parking lots. The temp was fairly warm. Tourists just hadn’t flocked to the destination yet.

  “No, my dad’s friend gave me a code to a keypad on the door. I call dibs on the bunk beds.”

  “There are bunk beds?”

  “It’s a three bedroom vacation rental. There have to be bunk beds in one of those rooms,” he teased.

  The coast was rugged. Its beauty wasn’t in the grandeur of mountains like the Rockies of Glacier but the diversity of the lighthouses, the cliffs, and the beaches.

  After dropping off our luggage and getting lunch, we napped under a blanket on the granite boulders at Ship Harbor Wave, a rough spouting of water rising volcanically from the weathered rock pools the rushing surf had eroded. We watched sporadic tourists rush down the rail encompassed staircase to be soaked by a spout.

  “We need to hike the Bar Harbor Shore Path so I can capture the exact lighting at sunrise.”

  “Please tell me you aren’t going to make me get up at four a.m.”

  “Sorry, it will be worth it. You can help me set up the equipment. The trail is right outside the bungalow. I’ll treat you to breakfast after.”

  We took a sunset cruise around Frenchman Bay. While most passengers ran back and forth from the exterior to the interior of the cabin, we stayed seated on the rim watching the fog and mists steal our views of lighthouses and the occasional eagle or porpoise. We followed the cruise with a moonlit stroll scouting out the perfect spot that evening. Taking in the view along the paved and graveled trail was full of surprises, studded with islands dotting the Atlantic, mansions, and granite beaches.

  On the way back, we passed a city park, complete with a look-out tower. I climbed up the kiddy rock wall, bent through the tunnel and stood up. Ansel helped hoist me through the hole in the top. The view was of the entire park, the giant gong type xylophones with the colored keys, the swinging tires, and the open grass area. He pulled me close and began kissing me as we made out hidden in the dark.

  “The distance between us is becoming unbearable. I didn’t know it was possible to miss someone so much,” he whispered against my mouth.

  “I know. I miss you too.”

  He wrapped his arms around my shoulders as I dangled my legs through the slats of the caged tower walls. He gathered the waves of my hair in his hands. “I want to live together.”

  I gulped. “Really?”

  “I want to be with you as much as I can.”

  Tanner

  I was home for the summer, working for a company installing rooftop gardens on some condos in downtown Jacksonville. It was a blustery early summer day. I stood on the school steps at the double door entrance of the exterior portico and studied the business listings. All I’d noticed the night I’d eavesdropped on Hanna and that guy was the neon sign had been lit with the words Brewery but in daylight a bold black iron sign proclaimed Bowzer’s Apps & Taps looming above.

  Listed in no specific order were multiple businesses: Gator and Sox Doggie Spa/Daycare/Grooming, Daytrippers Adventures in Travel, Bubbles and Brews Laundromat, Any Way U Want It That’s the Way We Stage It – I had no idea what that was. Last was Della’s nameplate declaring Suite 100 CPA. My spirits soared. Hanna was here, all of those pipe dreams of businesses she wanted to own had materialized. I walked through the hallway, which with the exception of lockers still looked very much like an old school.

  I went to the travel agency, but it was locked. Down in the basement, the old gym had gone to the dogs. Inside a lot of canines were resting or playing tug of war with rope toys. I recognized the Rottweiler.

  “Can I help you?” a young woman asked.

  “Do you know Hanna?”

  “Yep, her, Della, Jace and Clay.”

  My heart stopped. “Is she here?”

  “Hanna’s not around. Clay is, up at the brewery, the place isn’t open yet but the door’s unlocked if you want to catch him,” she kept talking although she became preoccupied corralling a Jack Russell mix who was humping a Chihuahua.

  “Okay, thanks.” I took off for the bar.

  I watched Clay measure, accurate like a chemist, kegging lines snaked around the vats, a yeasty smell hung in the air.

  “I like your brother. He’s a riot.” I bristled feeling my defenses rise but before I could retort Clay continued, “Thought we’d never get him to quit speaking in pirate lingo last time he visited.”

  He was interrupted by the phone. I went over and studied the body of artwork displayed on the walls. Most were of professional quality, a little artsy, perfect lighting. I recognized the nearby spots: Matanzas Inlet with the small fort at the mouth of the river where Hanna and I used to go kayaking back in high school; Cumberland Island, Georgia with the wild horses on the beach; the lighthouse over on Anastasia Island on the beach side of St. Augustine.

  The next piece of work contained one wallet size picture squared in the middle of what was a collage of the same photo mimicking itself into a continuous matt hundreds of times. I squinted. Focusing I ignored the duplications to concentrate on the center photo surrounded by chaos. Though miniscule there was no mistaking the center shot was Hanna and me at the top of the trail we’d taken in Waterton, Alberta. There was meaning in the way someone had chosen to display the moment from clear to distortion.

  When I finally peeled my eyes away there was only one other picture - a beautiful Pacific beach. In the distance was Hanna walking into the sunset. I checked for the artist’s name but below it stated not for sale.

  Clay joined me. “Who took this?” I asked.

  “Hanna’s boyfriend.”

  I swallowed hard, composed myself. “So what does Hanna do here?”

  “She, Della and I own the building and a stake in each other’s independent ventures. We lease out the remaining space.”

  “She did it,” I murmured absentmindedly.

  He scrutinized me. “So where is your evil queen?”

  “Evil queen?”

  “Your girlfriend, that chick Skylar.”

  I hesitated. “In Chicago, where she lives.”

  “She ever tell you about meeting Hanna?”

  “Who?”

  “Skylar?”

  “Nooooo!” My one word denial came out so forcefully he stopped his work to stare at me as if he knew I’d never in my worst nightmares want Skylar near Hanna.

  “She tracked Hanna down here on New Year’s Day. Came in the pub like she owned the place. Accused Hanna of using Trevor as a pawn to remain a part of your life. She said you were ashamed of Hanna and thought there was something sexual between Trev and her.”

  “I would never think that or say something like that.” I rubbed my hand on my chest, almost becoming panicked. “Skylar can be rough.” Barely an excuse, it carried little weight.r />
  “That is all you’ve got to say? Your psycho, possessive girlfriend publicly humiliates Hanna and you blow it off with that comment.” He shook his head in disgust, returned to his task.

  It was drizzling outside. I could see it bead and drip down the window. I sank onto a stool and despite my company dropped my head onto the bar. Mumbling, I got out, “So you guys all live here?”

  “Yeah. We all needed a place to live that wouldn’t cut into our bottom lines. In addition, Della needed a permanent home to raise Keb. I just got the news Ansel is moving in soon.”

  Hanna

  The baby monitor went off. Just back from vacation, I was on Keb duty. Della was working up in the office so after my only grooming appointment of the day I was doing daycare. I asked one of the groomers who was renting a booth from me to settle up with my customer. The Yorkie I had just bathed and trimmed was all decorated with a tiny pink bow holding up a pouf of fur between her ears.

  Coming out, I ran up the stairs, Pinkie and Bowzer both at my heels. The monitor, now in my hand, was silent. I couldn’t hear Keb cry, he probably wasn’t. He was too curious and independent for his own good. More than likely he was playing with one of the numerous toys attached to his crib. I unlocked the big steel door of Della’s unit and ran to the baby room.

  I swooped him up. “How is my handsome boy?”

  He giggled and squirmed flashing twinkling blue eyes at me.

  With him in my arms, I went to the old school intercom system button that was a direct line to Della’s office. A male voice sounded through the speakers. Without interrupting I tried to make out who was there besides Della and Clay.

  I sucked in my breath, realization dawning. “Oh, God.” I hit the speed dial on my cell. I could hear my ringtone going off over the intercom.

  They were ignoring it. I texted, I don’t want to see him.

  I heard Della say, “Sorry, Tanner. She missed her flight back. Guess you’ll have to table your speech till another time.”

  Chapter 51

  Hanna

  Sick of unpacking, Ansel and I were barefoot shooting baskets in the gym. Instead of playing the hoops game HORSE we were alternating between spelling Hanna or Ansel with each missed shot.

  “How about it?” Ansel motioned with his head over to the door that read Boys Locker Room.

  “What take a shower?” I asked.

  “Yes.”

  “Be my guest,” I teased.

  He smiled wickedly and picked me up walking toward the door. The light in the room was motion sensitive and automatically lit when we stepped inside, only two bulbs in the fluorescent tubes were good so shadows followed us. He turned and locked the door, then put me down. I stepped up to his height tilting my head for a kiss that he graciously provided.

  He pulled me past the vacant, open doored lockers and into the community showers. I tapped six shower heads above me as I walked sexily around the tiled room.

  “It’s hot water right?” he asked as if he wouldn’t be up for a cold shower.

  “Yes.”

  Slowly I shed my top, then my pants as he looked on with his arms braced on each side of the entrance opening. With a teasing laugh, I tossed him my bra and panties. Turning each faucet testing the water, the steam rose as the heated wet met the cool air. Ansel skimmed his eyes up from my legs to my waist and then my breasts. I stood under the shower letting the spray drip down my body.

  “You make me ache like a horny fifteen year old,” he groaned stripping before he joined me.

  We spent the next couple of hours giving and taking in the boy’s locker room.

  Tanner

  Weeks later, I returned. From a back table, I absorbed her. She took her place behind the bar, filled two pictures of beer from the tap and set them on a tray. Clay came up beside her. She smiled at him and playfully bumped him with her hip. Then she became preoccupied with bartending. Hurrying, her head lowered, she filled the counter with six shots of Jaeger. A group of college guys cheered her on.

  Hours passed before I got my nerve up. Finally, I took a spot at the bar.

  She looked up as if to take my order. "Oh," she said, quickly stepping back. "Oh, I…..I didn't see you come in. How are you?"

  "Good.”

  She studied me. As the minutes ticked by, I grew a little paranoid. “Did you text Della you didn’t want to see me?”

  She laughed but didn’t deny it.

  “Why? Can’t we talk?”

  “I thought you made it clear she wouldn’t like that.” Her cell phone vibrated and she read the text. Her eyes scanned until they met a man’s near the end of the bar.

  I fumbled for words and immediately thought now I should apologize for Skylar’s confrontation NOW. “So what is the seasonal brew?” I pointed to the list behind her.

  “Clay went local. Dat’l Do-It pepper brew.” She drew a beer from the tap and set it in front of me. “On the house.” Then she walked away.

  Hanna

  Some revelers whistled to get my attention. I pulled them their drafts from the most popular tap. The brewery was busy. Ansel sat in his usual spot at the end by the wall. He had sent me a text while I was talking to Tanner.

  U OK?

  I had looked up and nodded.

  Though distracted I couldn’t help notice how Tanner was staring at me. “Hear you’ve got a boyfriend,” he commented.

  “Ansel.”

  “Your friend from Utah?”

  I didn’t correct the state. “Is there a reason you came Tanner?” I asked.

  “Clay told me what Skylar said, I’m sorry. I never thought or said anything remotely regarding what she accused you of.”

  “I figured.”

  A guy leaned over the bar interrupting us, “Can I get five shots of Patron?”

  I visually searched for Clay who usually took over when I hit a height challenge on top shelf placement. He was across the room clearing a table. Reluctantly, I stretched up on tip toe my skirt inching up as well. With one hand holding the hem in place, I reached with my other. Then I felt the familiarity of Ansel’s body as it leaned into mine, reaching the bottle and putting it behind me on the counter.

  I smiled and kissed his jaw. “Thanks. You must have read my mind.”

  “No, I was reading the minds of every male in Apps & Taps.”

  I laughed. “What were their thoughts?”

  He smiled mischievously. “I’d like to tap that.”

  I smacked him playfully. Ansel moved and I saw Tanner staring, looking like he’d been hijacked.

  “Tanner this is Ansel. Ansel…Tanner,” I introduced them.

  Ansel was friendly, not overly so, just normal. He moved around to the customer side of the bar and took the seat by Tanner. They started talking as I waited on customers, trying to remedy my self-conscious feeling by acting like the two of them meeting didn’t bother me at all.

  Tanner

  I had almost charged over and knocked the guy away from her, indignant and furious. Then she introduced us. I was forcing my best smile –trying not to snap. I finished my drink in one long gulp, wincing as it lodged in my throat. Finally I managed to relax my constricted esophagus. Ansel’s voice pulled me back to the moment. “So you go to University of Florida?”

  “Ummm…yeah.”

  “I went to UCLA.”

  I nodded.

  “Total waste of money if you ask me.”

  Hanna laughed as she swiped at some sticky syrup on the counter. “I’m pretty sure you learned a thing or two there.”

  Ansel smiled and gave her a wink.

  “You working local for the summer?” Hanna roused me from my thoughts.

  “Designing a rooftop garden on some condos in downtown Jacksonville near the Landing,” I lied with quite a bit of pompousness.

  “Cool. I bet the view is great plus you get to smell Maxwell House.” Hanna flattened herself over the bar and retrieved the discarded shot glasses. I got a quick eyeful of cleavage. Ansel’s expre
ssion when I saw his face told me he could read my mind.

  “I hear you used to surf. You off tomorrow? Want to go out?” he asked me.

  “Sounds great.” I glanced at Hanna. She did not look happy.

  Hanna

  After closing, I trudged along the outside of the fence. Ansel was sitting on the top step lighting a cigarette and taking a drag as I played ball with the dogs.

  I called out to him, “What are you doing?”

  “What does it look like?”

  I leaped up a few stairs stopping three below his and pointed at his cigarette.

  He laughed. “Come on. I haven’t had one in years.”

  “I know. So why do you want one now?”

  He leaned forward placing his elbows on his knees closer to me. I ran my fingers through his hair.

  “Why did you ask him surfing?” I whispered.

  “Can’t I ask a fellow surfer to catch some waves?” He crushed the cigarette below his shoe, waived away the smoke.

  “You can ask anyone anything you want,” I said.

  “Okay, are you still in love with him?”

  My head snapped. He may as well have slapped me. “God no. Why would you ask that?”

  “Because it is obvious he is still in love with you. Because you’ve never fucking said the words to me.”

  “You haven’t either.” I ran up the steps, with the dogs in pursuit.

  Ansel caught me at the door. “I’m sorry.” His mouth was hot on mine, desperate.

  “Saying it out loud is scary for me,” I whispered between kisses.

  “Me too,” he answered with a last gentle pressing of our lips.

  With one mind and one heart, the words left our mouths in unison. “I love you.”

  Chapter 52

  Tanner

  “I think you cause her mind chaos,” Ansel said steering us away from the schoolhouse towards Vilano, a stretch of beach with rough current and heavy riptides.