Hope Is Love

by Hubbard, Sylvia

  "The doctor will be here in fifteen. Mr. Ethan had me give you something to freshen yourself up with if you want before the doctor got here."

  "Thank you," James said.

  When Mitch was gone, James used the private bathroom to clean up in a hurry and put some clothes on.

  He didn't touch his bandages until last and saw that there as blood seeping from the wound.

  Who would've have tried to kill him? he wondered.

  Going back out into the bedroom, he saw Jona was still asleep. She would have to be his memory of that day until he could remember what had happened. He needed her and he knew she wouldn't stay if he told her how he felt, but she would stay longer if he told her he still needed her memory.

  She promised to stay as long as he couldn't remember anything.

  Knowing she would hate him if she knew he was well into remembering, but never told her, James knew the only way Jona would really stay was because she made a promise to stay around until he regained his memory.

  Pretending he still had memory loss would be the only way to keep her long enough for her to fall in love with him and never want to leave him.

  For the greater good of himself and her - In the end, she would understand his deceit.

  * * *

  Jona was starving and that was most likely the only reason she finally opened her eyes. The smell of food brought her out of her sleep and the only thing she recognized were the warm green eyes of James staring down at her in deep concern.

  "Should I call you my hero?" he questioned in amusement. "Where did you learn to fight like that?"

  Blushing, she said, "I'm from the street. What do you expect?"

  "What did he mean about wanting more, Hope?" he asked now serious.

  She shook her head. "Nothing. Just some vagrants I had a run in with before. That's all. Thank you for your help."

  "You're welcome."

  The warmth spread through her from his proximity on the inside. To make herself push away these newfound feelings, she asked, "Did you ever figure out what I should call you?"

  "I'm becoming used to James," he said and leaned down to kiss her lips softly.

  There was a knock on the door again interrupting them and Jona was glad. If he continued to kiss her so casually she would surely forget that she had no intentions of staying there with him forever.

  His kisses had started to make her forget where she had come from and where she needed to

  return. His kisses made her want to accept this life around him and accept him into her life.

  Jona knew her life could be no fairytale so easily acceptable; not when life had been so difficult to her from the time she was born.

  "Your brother still wishes to see you, Mr. James," Mitch said.

  James looked highly annoyed. "Tell him I'll be there in about an hour. She just awoke and I want to make sure she's fine."

  Mitch left then alone and James put his full attention back on her, moving down to kiss her again.

  She put her hands up to his chest to stop his descent. "I should clean up."

  "Will you sleep in here with me?" he asked.

  Jona took a look around the room and gasped. More massive than the basement she had been in, the room was specifically design more or less a getaway for two people.

  "Are we in a hotel room?" she questioned.

  He chuckled. "No, this is my brother's house in Detroit."

  She frowned. "But it's so big?"

  "Yes," he agreed. "This is just the guest room though."

  Her mind was going crazy. To know what kind of wealth this man might have was scary to know.

  "James, I shouldn't-"

  "Before you refuse, just know I don't think I can be alone here with these people I don't remember. I feel very uncomfortable."

  The hurt look was in his eyes and for some reason she was a sucker when it came to helping him. Ever since the day she had accepted responsibility for him, she felt she needed to help him feel safe. Touching the necklace she still wore from him, she nodded. "Fine, James. I'll stay here with you, but as soon as you get your memory back-"

  He finished her sentence, "I know. You'll be leaving."

  She nodded and stood up to get away from those irresistible lips that seem to call her name.

  "So they took my suggestion not to take you to the hospital?" she guessed.

  "Thank you for making the suggestion, Hope. I did see the doctor after he checked you out while you were sleep. I wanted to make sure you weren't hurt in the fight. Nicole stayed in here with him and I stayed outside if that makes you feel better."

  She was a little unnerved about that fact, but didn't expound. "And what did the doctor say about you?" she asked, noticing he had fresh bandages on his head.

  "He said I'm fine as I can be, but asked if I would come in for memory test in the morning."

  "And you will?" she asked, but it was more of an order.

  "Yes, I will."

  She folded her arms across her chest defensively. "You wouldn't happened to be keeping getting better from me to keep me around longer, James, would you?"

  "Of course not. I know how you long to return to the street and get away from all this comfort." Sarcasm drenched his tone of voice.

  "You don't know my life, James. You don't understand."

  "No, I don't understand why you would choose to be on the street rather than be nice and comfortable?"

  "Because it's not mine. This is your life and your life doesn't fit me. Just the way your brother looks at me says it all."

  "Well, it's just probably from the smell he remembers when he met you because we know it's not your color. Otherwise he'd be a hypocrite, would he?"

  She didn't want to discuss this subject with him. "It's not just the smell. It's me, James. Let's be realistic, I'm not fit for your life. I'm under educated, I can't find a job to save my life, and living a normal life is not my style. All of that is yours and I'm not that; Even if you wanted to live in my world, your brother wouldn't allow you to be. He'd institutionalize you immediately."

  He took a deep breath in resolve. "You're right, he would." Standing up, he touched her face tenderly forcing her to make him look deep into his eyes. "I put everything in the bathroom that you'd need. I'll go see my brother and then bring dinner for us to have."

  Did he know when he tried to make her feel comfortable, she just felt more uncomfortable? Did he know she found herself thinking of how good he looked without his shirt on and how she longed to see him like that again? Did he know, she thought more and more of kissing him for no reason at all?

  Backing away too tempted to give into her urges; she nodded thanks and shut herself in the bathroom. With the door closed, she leaned against the wood taking a deep breath relived she had not given into temptation.

  Chapter 12

  James lingered near the door for a moment so tempted to tell her the truth, but knowing if he did she would gather everything and just leave.

  Why couldn't his way of life be acceptable to her? Any woman would have loved to have what he could offer? Did she know how rich he was?

  Obviously she didn't realize the amount and he would have to show her the extent of possibilities. Money made everything possible, even love. He was sure of that.

  Leaving the room, he braced himself to be still ignorant to Ethan and everything his brother planned on bringing up. A nonchalant attitude would work well enough. Funny thing about all this was James had really wanted to start having a relationship with his little brother.

  By now, James was sure Nicole had eased Ethan into not being frustrated anymore over James' supposedly lost memory. Hopefully James could still play innocent to all that Ethan had to discuss.

  Entering the family room where a real fire was roaring away in the corner, while Ethan nursed a drink absently staring into the abyss of nothing, James was content in knowing Ethan cared enough to take care of him. Ethan's pensive stare meant he was thinking of the past - most likely James'
very sordid past and wondering who was this man now standing in front of him.

  "How are you feeling?" Ethan asked slowly turning to face James.

  "My head doesn't hurt as much," James answered.

  "And your memory? Does anything about this place recollect in your mind?" he questioned hopefully. "Or about me?"

  "No," James blatantly lied, turning away so he wouldn't react to Ethan's clear disappointment and frustration. He pretended to assess the room as if he had never seen the design before. Nicole had added more warmth to the place and more warmth to her brother than any woman Ethan had ever been with.

  James could remember recently he had been longing to have long-term relationships, but there had been some kind of fear or frustration inside of him. He couldn't be sure why and his damn brain failed to help him understand what had been going on in his head emotionally recently in his life.

  “And the night everything happened, what do you remember?” Ethan questioned.

  “Nothing. Pretty much, I awoke, lying on that pallet you found me on and Hope laying next to me.”

  Ethan stiffened in disgust. “You didn’t… you know, with her, did you?”

  “Does it matter to you?”

  “It matters if she’s contagious or diseased, yes.”

  “Would you care that I might die, Ethan? Really? From what your wife explained, we didn’t get along before I lost my memory.”

  “You’re my brother, James. Whether you slept with my ex-wife and deliberately tried to fuck up my life, I still must acknowledge that you are my brother, and blood is thicker than water.”

  “So you can forget about the past?”

  “Not as easy as you seem to have done.”

  “Getting shot in the head is not the easy way out. It fucking hurts,” James grumbled.

  "The doctor told me that your memory would be slow to return. Hopefully, the more you are around us, your memory could eventually return to normal, most likely instantly.” There was a lot of hope in his voice and James almost wanted to reveal that his memory had, but this had been the most Ethan and he had spoken in years. "I'm not liable for what I'll feel when the old James returns."

  James had done a foul thing by sleeping with Ethan’s first wife, but only to reveal the trifling bitch that she was. Maybe Ethan was trying to do the same about Hope, but his little brother really didn’t understand everything. Deep down inside, James had changed and standing on the outside, he didn’t want to become that selfish whoring monster again.

  "Well, if my memory does come back, I don't feel it'll make a real damn bit of difference," he shrugged nonchalantly, facing his brother again. “I would like to get better. The headaches are hell."

  A look of suspicion crossed Ethan's face and he casually asked, "Would you like something to drink, James?"

  "No," James said harshly, but only because he really wanted one. Yet, he knew he couldn't come across like his old self, which never refused liquor. Ethan looked like he was getting just a little bit wary of this "new" James.

  Ethan must have assumed he insulted James and apologized. "I can ask Mitch to bring you something else."

  "It’s nothing. I would like Mitch to bring us dinner."

  "Us? You mean you intend to keep the girl in your room?"

  "Yes."

  Ethan returned to the previous subject narrowing his eyes at James suspiciously. “Answer the question? Have you slept with the girl?”

  “No. We’ve kissed, but that’s about all.”

  Ethan sighed in relief. “Good, because I don’t think you should give her any hope that there might be more to your relationship, other than savior. Once I give her an reasonable reward amount, she’ll be out of our lives, right?”

  Just because he was a changed man, didn’t mean he planned on letting anyone push him around and that included Ethan. James still wanted to do what he damn well wanted to do and keeping Hope in his life by any means necessary was his intentions. "I don't plan to be without her and she's promised to stay around until I can get my memory back."

  "Let's just hope that is sooner than later."

  "I don't know. Maybe once I regain my memory, I might keep her around even more, Ethan."

  His brother snorted. "I doubt it James. Your old self wouldn't like one thing about her."

  James didn’t respond to that because it was so true of him. "What else did you want of me?"

  "I wanted you to know I'll be taking over fully at the company until your memory is recovered or until you think you can acclimate yourself to your old life without causing damage to our company."

  "So you wouldn't mind working with me until I've gotten my memory back?"

  "I won't have a choice. Despite how much I hated what my father and you have done to me, I love the company we have and I won't let your memory loss lose what we've worked so hard to build."

  "I'm fine with you taking over for now." This was true because he could devote more time to Jona and figure out what really happened to him. Plus, he had never taken a vacation so his employees would think nothing about turning things over to his brother.

  "And your living quarters? Would you rather move out to your home in Grosse Pointe?"

  That was a city outside of Detroit and he knew he had no property to live in comfortably like this in Detroit. Going home would be ideal, but Jona would never relax her guard. "No, I like it here for now. I'm not really familiar with any of this, but at least it's a place in the city. Do I have anything else?" he asked innocently. "Like transportation?"

  "There's the company truck and your Dodge out at your house most likely," Ethan answered. "We haven't found your Cadillac yet and I just reported it stolen when you came up missing. Your wallet and your ring you wear all the time was also missing from your person and Jona states you didn’t have anything on you except your clothes, which the police recovered her things. Father’s lawyer, Lawton Berg, will be by tomorrow with new identification and papers to draw up for you to sign over turning over the company to me until you’re better. Nicole took the liberty of taking care of things, but I was rather disturbed to find out you'd switched assistants. Do you remember why?"

  James actually was telling the truth when he answered, "No, I don't remember why I changed assistants." His thoughts were more on transportation than anything else and he blew off the prior conversation, by asking, "What kind of truck?"

  "Just an older model Dodge that we usually use for city jobs, but it runs well. Yours has a larger cabin especially designed for you because you often needed the comforts of home around. I don't know if you remembered that you were a workaholic."

  "Really?" he asked as if that as new to him. "I don't," he lied some more and then pretended to yawn. "I better return to her before she lays down."

  "Would you mind if Nicole helped her be better groomed tomorrow while you're at the doctor?" Ethan questioned.

  "That would be up to Hope, but I doubt she would accept."

  "Could you convince her just until she's not around us anymore? If I have to endure, I should at least be comfortable."

  James shrugged indifferently again. "I will try."

  "And I'd like to go with you to the appointment in the morning, if you don't mind."

  "That's fine."

  Ethan looked uncomfortable. "One more thing, James and please don't think I'm being an ass when I suggest this."

  Annoyed that Ethan was keeping him away from where he really wanted to be, he sighed annoyed, but nodded and waited for Ethan to speak.

  "I would like a former health inspector, doctor and friend, Chance Jefferson to meet us over at the residence she was harboring in to check it out. Just in case there are things we need to check into health wise."

  "Really, Ethan I don't think-"

  Ethan cut him off, "Just for my peace of mind, please James."

  "She can never know we did this."

  His brother looked shocked by that statement, but nodded. "That's fine," Ethan agreed.

  "
Are we done, Ethan?"

  "Yes, James."

  "Goodnight brother."

  James saw that there were a lot of questions in Ethan's eyes, but even James had a feeling those questions weren't something that he could answer right now.

  "Can you have the truck delivered in the morning after we return?" James asked.

  "Yes, I can have your new assistant make the necessary arrangements."

  "Goodnight, Ethan," James said and left the room to hurry to the kitchen, so he could return to Jona. His brother had posed a lot of questions regarding his life before he ended up shot, but James was too consumed of getting to Jona in order to think about them.

  Nicole was in the hallway when he was about to go into the kitchen. "I'm sorry James, I think we should speak about Jona."

  Irritated, he growled, "What?!"

  She looked a little startled about his demeanor. "I was there when she had an examination and I think there are some things you should know about her."

  As much as James was in a hurry to get back upstairs, the concern in Nicole's beautiful deep brown eyes, made him stay right there and wait for her to keep talking.

  "I was there while the doctor examined her and after you left the hospital, I went back over there and asked Chance Jefferson to pull her records for me. I know that was wrong to ask, but I was just as concerned as Ethan about what she had done to you. According to Ethan you've changed a lot. We've never met, but I know what happened with...” She faltered a bit as she digested the past. "But I thought if I found something about her that would make you not want her, maybe it would help keep you in the hospital."

  "What is it?" he asked impatiently. "What's so dire that you think I need to know?"

  "She's had a baby and I think she aborted it. Chance wasn't sure, but he said she was admitted four weeks ago. According to the records, she tried to use some street doctor to take care of her, but it didn't go well and she almost bled out. She barely crawled in the emergency room bleeding to death."

  He had to look away to take a deep breath. "An abortion? Is this Chance sure?"

  "No, but I thought you should at least know. I don't want to cause tension."