“Sure. I’m tired too. I’m okay just going to sleep.” Luke misunderstood my request.
“Sorry, I meant alone, if that’s okay.” I reached toward the steering wheel to cover Luke’s hand, trying to provide some sense of reassurance. “It’s been a long day, and I wouldn’t be very good company.”
“You’re always good company to me.” He turned to wink at me. “But I get it. We will just make up for it next week.”
“That sounds good.” I had been putting off our physical relationship ever since Tim’s first visit and I really needed to get back on the horse. I made Luke wait so long in the first place, and now he wasn’t even reaping the rewards.
Luke helped me lug Kenzie and all her gear up the two flights and into the apartment. He laid Kenzie down in her crib, setting the stuffed monkey he had bought beside her. He kissed me goodbye before leaving for the evening. I spent an hour cleaning the apartment, sending a quick text to Tim to apologize for missing his phone call, explaining that we had been out and Kenzie was sleeping by the time we had arrived home. I waited for a response, but eventually fell asleep with the phone clutched in my hand; which is exactly how I woke up on Sunday morning when I heard the front door open.
I shot out of bed so quickly my phone flung from my hand, smashing against the floor. “Fuck,” I muttered, searching for something I could use as a weapon.
“Al?” Tim’s voice stopped me in my tracks, as he peered through the crack of my bedroom door. “You okay?” He pushed the door open wider, taking in the murder scene of my lifeline. “I’m fine. Just wasn’t expecting you so early.” I peered at the clock beside my bed. Six-fifteen. I crouched down to collect the pieces of my phone, checking to see if it was repairable.
“I’m sorry.” Tim dropped to the same level and took the phone from my hand. “I wanted to get here as early as possible. I should have let you know.” He surveyed the pieces. “I’ll replace this. We’ll go today.”
I stood up straight, suddenly realizing I was wearing a worn-out tank top and no bra, and my nipples were making themselves known. I crossed my arms quickly, and look back toward Tim. His Adam’s apple bobbed, as his eyes slowly made their way back up to my face. He turned on his heels. “I’ll let you get dressed.”
I grabbed a change of clothing and dashed into the bathroom to take a shower. Kenzie would sleep for another hour at least, so I would make sure I was ready for the day to avoid any other awkward moments. Thirty minutes later I had changed into a pair of jean shorts and a black T-shirt, added a bit of makeup and pulled my hair into a high ponytail.
Tim wasn’t in the living room or kitchen when I came out. There weren’t any other places to check aside from Kenzie’s room, which was where I found him. He was standing over her crib, watching her sleep. I watched him look at her from the doorway. I could have stood there all day and never become tired of the view. Tim turned as if sensing my presence.
“Where did she get this?” He pointed to the monkey.
“We went to the zoo yesterday,” I responded, moving further into the room. “She loved the monkeys.”
“With your boyfriend?” Tim looked away from me, back down to our daughter. I nodded in response, knowing he didn’t need an answer to know he was right. “I wish we could do things like that.” He shook his head as he said the words.
“You can take her to the zoo,” I argued.
“No, I can’t.” He sighed, pushing off the crib and walking past me into the living room. “Al, I can’t even take you to replace your phone right now. Not without risking the two of you on the front page of a tabloid.”
I couldn’t argue with that. Tim had a valid point. “We’ll get there,” I reassured. “Plus, I can go and buy a new phone today and let you and Kenz have some alone time. I need to get groceries too if you don’t mind.” That would kill two birds with one stone. I would be able to shop quicker, and it would put space between Tim and me.
“That would be fine.” Tim dug his wallet out of his back pocket and pulled out a small stack of bills. “This should cover it all.” He held the money out to me.
“Tim, I don’t need your money.”
“I’m not arguing with you over this. I caused you to break your phone, and I’m not going three days without talking to you, so you need a new phone. And I eat here three times a week, so I should be contributing regardless.” He pushed the bills into my hand and closed my fingers around it. “You’re not in this alone Al, so no arguing.”
Kenzie picked that moment to wake-up, ending any potential debate between us. He was quick to retrieve her from her room, changing her diaper before bringing her out for breakfast. We spent a few hours with Kenzie before Tim handed me the keys to his rental, for me to pick up my new phone and groceries.
“Please buy the best iPhone they have in stock.” Tim pleaded as he walked me to the door. I shook my head with a laugh.
“Fine.” The phone would be quite the upgrade from my budget special that I had had since I moved to Texas. It was the first time I had been behind the wheel of a car in over three years. When Tim was on the road, I had never had the need to drive, and then in Texas, I was reliant on the bus or someone else who owned a car. I forgot what kind of freedom driving provided. I pulled into a parking space at the local grocery store and rolled a cart out of the corral. My plan was to finish this chore before heading off to explore my options for a new phone plan.
I was over half way finished covering off the aisles in the store when I walked right into the path of Luke’s mother, Alice. I tried to turn my cart before she caught sight of me, to no avail.
“Ally!” She greeted. “What a surprise to run into you.” Her cart held a few snack foods and bottles of wine and champagne. My timing couldn’t have been worse.
“Hi, Alice.” Hopefully Luke hadn’t told her I was going to be out of town.
“Luke had mentioned you weren’t going to be around today.” She smiled, but there was suspicion in her eyes. “Is everything okay?”
Why couldn’t I have come up with something more practical? At least I wouldn’t be standing here on the spot, trying to talk my way out of a lie that was weaving itself into a web of deceit. “I was supposed to take my friend’s car, but she had car trouble. I’m hoping she’ll be able to resolve it so I can still make it.” Not too bad. Somewhat believable. “I figured I would take advantage of the delay and pick up groceries today instead of during the week.”
“That’s a shame.” She eyed my cart. There was a decent amount of food in it. “Well if your plans happen to be canceled, you are more than welcome to come over.”
“Thank you. I will keep that in mind.” I smiled politely. “I am excited about the engagement. Please let them know I send my congratulations.” After a few more words, we concluded the conversation and headed off in different directions. A quick stop to the local cellular provider and I was the proud new owner of an iPhone 7, and a new phone number.
Tim was sitting on the couch reading to Kenzie when I walked through the front door, my hands loaded down with bags. “Hey, Mama.” He grinned, standing up with Kenzie in his arms. “We missed you.” He balanced Kenzie on one hip while taking an armload of groceries from me. He leaned down and planted a kiss on my cheek like it was the most natural thing in the world.
We both froze after realizing what had happened, staring at one another with a mixture of confusion and guilt. Kenzie’s squeal broke our trance. “Are there more groceries downstairs?” Tim dropped the bags onto the counter, as I placed what was still left in my other hand there as well.
“There’s at least one more trip.” I leaned over to kiss Kenzie’s forehead, keeping my lips a sufficient distance from Tim’s skin. “I’ll go down though, so you don’t draw any attention.” I winked as I turned to head back down.
Once we had the groceries away, I started on supper while Tim turned on some cartoons for Kenzie. He joined me in the kitchen once she had settled. “Did you get a new phone?” I nodded a
nd pointed to the smaller bag on the counter, as I chopped lettuce for a salad.
“I have a new number, I guess.” I tossed the lettuce into a bowl and moved on to the tomatoes. “I will have to figure out how to set it up tonight.”
“Do you want me to do it?” Tim emptied the contents of the bag onto the counter, grabbing a piece of the tomato I had just cut and popped it into his mouth.
“That would be awesome.” I handed him a few more slices of tomato before adding the rest to the bowl. Tim got to work, while I finished making supper.
“What name do you want me under?” He asked, as I slid a plate of food in front of him and went to collect Kenzie.
“KD,” I replied, without thinking.
“Kraft Dinner?” He questioned, lifting an eyebrow at me. “Seriously, you’re naming me after a boxed meal?”
“Kenzie’s dad.” I corrected, rolling my eyes. He laughed, typing a few things on the phone and then handed it to me. I liked the atmosphere when he was in my home. Time always passed too quickly, and before I knew it, we were saying our goodbyes once again.
Monday morning was a rough one. Kenzie hadn’t been happy when Tim left, and it had taken awhile to settle her when I dropped her off at daycare. Her tantrum meant I had to stay with her longer, which of course meant I was late for work. When I finally sat down at my desk, I already felt like I put in a full day’s work. I was hoping for a quiet morning, something to reset my mind frame and energy level. Fate had other plans.
An hour into my work day, Luke showed up at my desk, and he wasn’t happy. “Do you know how many times I tried to call you yesterday?” He was furious, his arm crossed in front of his chest. “Then my mom tells me she ran into you at the grocery store.” His cheeks tinged red with anger. “Weren’t you supposed to be out of town?”
Oh god, oh god, oh god. I couldn’t even find words to start trying to dig myself out of this one.
“What’s going on Ally?” He demanded, his voice loud enough to attract some attention. “You said Maggie’s car wasn’t working, but it looked perfectly fine in the parking lot this morning.”
Shit. Shit. Shit. I was silent and wide eyed, wishing the floor would open up and swallow me whole.
“My neighbor fixed it last night.” Maggie popped her head up over the cubicle. “He said I needed a new battery or something like that.”
Maggie, my savior. Luke’s expression softened, as she corroborated my story. I found my voice again. “And I dropped my phone yesterday morning and broke it. I got a new one, but it’s a new plan with a new number.” I pulled my new phone out of my purse to show him. “I didn’t know your number without my old phone, so I couldn’t call to let you know.” I was on a roll. “I’m sorry if I worried you.”
“I was worried.” He confirmed, back tracking and scaling back the accusation in his tone. “When mom said she saw you, I was so confused. And then you weren’t answering your phone…” He trailed off.
“I’m sorry.” I apologized. “It was just a really off day.” I stood up to peck his lips. “Here, I’ll give you my new number.” Luke left my desk moments later, after programming my number and making plans to come over that evening. Once he was out of view, Maggie came around to my side of the cubicle.
“You better tell me why the hell I just had to bail you out.” Her words sounded angry, but her tone was playful. “I have my suspicions, but I need them confirmed.”
“I will fill you in, the second we have enough time alone to talk about it.”
“Girls night then. This weekend. You, me and Sarah.” She turned to walk away without another word.
The week was a combination of balancing time with Luke and time with Tim. By the time Friday night arrived, I was exhausted but looking forward to the girls’ night. Luke was staying away because he was under the impression that the event was occurring at my apartment when in actuality it was happening at Sarah’s. Tim was going to be at my place with Kenzie.
Sarah and Maggie were already waiting when I finally made my way across the hall. The two were sipping margaritas on the couch and insisted I pour one out of the blender on the counter before joining them. I gladly did so, needing the liquid courage to fill the girls in on the past couple of weeks. Maggie at least knew about Tim, but Sarah was in the dark about it all.
“Okay Al, I have been waiting all week for this.” Maggie started, patting the spot on the couch beside her, prompting me to sit there. “Who’s watching Kenzie tonight?” That was not at all the question I was expecting. My brows knitted together as I stared at her in confusion.
Sarah jumped in before I could answer. “My guess is it’s the same guy that has been sneaking in and out of here over the past couple of weeks.” She shot me a look, indicating we weren’t as swift as we thought we were. “Tall, built, has a key to your place… Ring a bell?”
“He’s been here?” Maggie exclaimed.
“Oh, he’s been here,” Sarah responded. “Now who is he? Because I don’t think you would play Luke like this if there weren’t a legitimate back story here.”
“He, is Kenzie’s father.” The two of them were having a conversation about my life without me. “He, is also Tim Lawson from Hazed.”
Sarah’s jaw dropped and remained open as she looked between Maggie and me a couple of times. “Seriously?”
“Seriously!” Maggie confirmed. “So that much I know. Now, what the hell is he doing here? Little Miss I don’t tell my best friend anything, you have to fill in the blanks.” Both girls looked my way.
“So, I can talk now?” I questioned, taking a long sip of my drink.
“Now you better talk,” Maggie stated.
“He’s been coming to spend time with Kenzie.” The answer was relatively simple. That was why he was here.
“And spending the night?” Sarah’s eyebrows raised.
“Well, he has to fly and drive every time he comes and if he stayed in a hotel people would find out he was here. Neither of us is ready for this to be public knowledge. God, I haven’t even figured out how to tell Luke.”
“He’s going to lose his mind,” Maggie added.
“And rightfully so,” I admitted. “I know if the situation were reversed, I would be heartbroken he was going behind my back. I just don’t know how to deal with this, and that’s without him involved. It’s going to take me a while to figure out how to include him.”
“But you and your ex, I mean, that has to be tempting,” Sarah interjected.
“Tempting? He’s staying the night. There’s no way ‘tempting’ is the only thing that it is.” Maggie said what Sarah was thinking. I could see it on both of their faces.
“This is strictly for Kenzie.” I blew up their theory. “That’s it. He has a girlfriend; I have Luke. He sleeps on the couch.”
Sarah stood up to retrieve the pitcher of drinks and refilled each of our glasses. “Ally, I know this is personal and probably more complicated than what you wanted to deal with, but I’ve seen him in passing, I’ve seen you in passing, and the days he’s here you are really, really happy. My guess is that’s not just because of Kenzie.”
She hadn’t really made a point, but I knew where she was going. I knew that she was right. “I know.”
“Life is short, Al. If you are still in love with him, then I wouldn’t waste time trying to figure out why things have happened the way they have.” Her eyes were watering, as she turned to look me directly in the eye. “You never know when everything you have is going to be taken away. You can’t take it for granted.”
Well this was getting deep and dark quickly. The three of us sat in complete silence, each processing Sarah’s words of wisdom. Eventually, Maggie switched on a chick flick, blended more cocktails and brought us back to a happy place.
It was two in the morning when I stumbled back across the hall. I was trying to fit my key into the lock when the door opened for me. Tim stood in front of me, as I lost my balance. Tim’s arm wrapped around me as he helped me into
the apartment.
“You are so sexy!” I announced, tapping his nose as I said each word.
“You are so drunk.” He responded, doing the same thing.
“You are so right.” I agreed, my last tap tracing a path down his nose to his lips. “God, I miss these.” I traced his lips, as he sucked in a breath.
“Al.” He warned, walking me toward my bedroom.
“I am such an idiot.” I dropped my shoulders in submission. “I wish I could turn back time.” Tim turned on my bedroom light as I walked out of his arms toward my bed. “Oh my god, I’m a Cher song!” I started a drunk rendition of the song as Tim shook his head.
“Babe, the baby is sleeping.” He pulled me close and pressed his forehead against mine.
“Argh,” I grunted, each of my hands finding one of his biceps. “How come you feel so good?”
“Al…” He groaned, bending slightly at his knees, enough to look directly into my eyes. “Please go to bed. I can’t take too much more of this without doing something we will both regret.” I nodded, dumbly, and let him tuck me into bed. I fell asleep doubting I would ever regret doing anything with him.
I woke up thankful that Tim had stopped anything from happening. There would be no coming back from that, and I didn’t want things to be awkward when we had made so much progress in building a routine for Kenzie. Tim left early Saturday morning as he had a concert in Nevada that evening. If he was getting tired from traveling so much, he wasn’t showing it.
Luke had plans to come over on Saturday night, to make up for all of the time we had been spending apart for the various excuses I had constructed. I already found it difficult to create believable lies and each day was getting harder. Tim and I were going to have to have a conversation about how to tell Luke and Bambi about what was going on. I couldn’t do this too much longer.
“Hey, babe.” Luke walked through the front door, without knocking.
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