Love Me Like You Do

by Sasha Clinton

  Washing her face, she realized there was some semen stuck to her hair (all the disgusting things that could happen during sex) so she found his shampoo and rinsed that out. Then she wandered back into the bedroom.

  By now, Jamie had thrown on his boxers.

  “I’ll be going, then.” Because she was hungry, she had to stop and get that last Ferrerro Rocher from the bedside table.

  “No. Stay and cuddle with me.” Circling her wrist, he pulled her back to the bed.

  Bella raised an eyebrow. “But isn’t staying and cuddling like a...relationship? I thought we were going to keep this purely physical.”

  “I never said that. I only said I wasn’t going to marry you or make long-term plans with you. Everything else is allowed.” His fingers climbed up her arm, and she dropped onto the bed. “You’re not just a sexual plaything to me. You’re too good for just sex.”

  When he said that, her chest tingled. Maybe, maybe there was a possibility....

  Stop. There is no possibility.

  “So can I ask you to meet my friends? Is that allowed?” she blurted out.

  Sooner or later, she was going to have to run him by Kat and Ashley.

  Shrugging, he agreed. “I’m okay with that.”

  “And are you okay with me fixing you dinner on Thursday?”

  Because isn’t the way to a man’s heart through his stomach?

  “I’d love you to.” Jamie licked back a wayward strand of hair that fell into her eye. “Haven’t eaten anything home cooked in forever.”

  “Don’t get your hopes up. I’m no Martha Stewart,” Bella warned.

  “As long as you put something edible in my mouth, I’ll be happy.” He drew her deeper into his chest. “And if you can’t, hey, I love eating your pussy.”

  “Well, there’s a backup option.” She laughed.

  Then cuddling, they fell asleep.

  Chapter 12

  Bella couldn’t stop herself from shooting texts to Jamie the next day. Sure, it was a very obsessive-compulsive girlfriend thing to do, but he didn’t seem to mind. In fact, he was showing her a whole new side of him through this texting thing.

  First, on Tuesday morning, he wrote her a puzzling one-liner.

  Jamie: IWTOYWIM

  Bella: Huh? What does that mean?

  Jamie: Ask someone in your class. College kids know stuff like this.

  Naïve as she was, she had, then almost passed out in humiliation when her teaching assistant had told her what it meant (I will think of you when I masturbate.) She was probably going to be unable to look her TA in the eye for the rest of the semester.

  Bella: Congratulations. Now my TA thinks I’m a nympho.

  Jamie: Next time, maybe u should Google it. J

  Bella: Good thing I like you or we’d be over.

  Jamie: You like me? What do you like about me?

  Bella: 1. Your sense of humor 2. That you give me chocolate after sex 3. That you wrote ‘Love Me Like You Do’

  Jamie: Do you know what I like about you?

  Bella: I don’t want to know.

  She was afraid he was going to say something cheesy and make her cringe.

  Jamie: I’ll tell you anyway. 1. Your body 2. Your brain 3. Your smile.

  Bella: My brain’s not no. 1?

  Jamie: I’m a man. Your brain can never be no. 1.

  Their texts had carried on all through the day, alternating between spicy, sweet, and mundane. Waiting for her phone to ping with his incoming text added a new excitement to her life. Multiple times, she’d gotten distracted in class and stuttered when he’d written her a dirty text (which she was learning he was really good at) and embarrassed herself.

  His last text for the day, though, was a very sweet,

  Good night, angel.

  Wednesday continued their thread of weird, inane conversations. She hadn’t wanted to seem desperate, so she’d waited for 8 am before sending her first message for the day.

  Bella: What r u doing?

  Jamie: Arm cardio.

  Bella: Oh. Didn’t know u were into exercise.

  Jamie: Not that kind of arm cardio.

  Confused and suspecting he was playing with her, she’d Googled that. And she was right on the money.

  Bella: Will you stop with the masturbation references? L

  Jamie: Can’t. It’s way too amusing watching u fall for them every time. J

  Nevertheless, she’d ended up smiling and that smile had helped her sail through a rough morning. At lunch hour, she’d checked up on him again.

  Bella: Did you finish your arm cardio?

  Jamie: Yes. I’m writing now.

  Bella: Wht r u writing?

  Jamie: An episode for a TV show.

  Bella: About?

  Jamie: Alligators mutating into ninjas and taking over the world.

  Bella: WTF? How can you accept such a silly idea?

  Jamie: It’s the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it. J

  It took her scarcely a second to identify where that line had come from.

  Bella: Quoting Aristotle? When did you become this smooth?

  Jamie: Since I had sex with a professor last night. I swear I’ve gotten smarter since I slept with you.

  Bella: Intelligence doesn’t spread via sex. And u used a condom anyway.

  Jamie: Wht about oral?

  Bella: Oh, shut up.

  Jamie: Hey, it’s called giving head. Head is where your brain is, brain is where intelligence comes from. See the connection?

  Bella: Where do u get these weird ideas from?

  Jamie: Writer’s mind.

  Some of their conversations that day were downright ridiculous (and Jamie adamantly refused to admit that there wasn’t a link between oral sex and intelligence) but they made her giggle like she hadn’t in weeks. Jamie really had a way with words and the best part was, she got his sense of humor. And he got hers.

  At the end of the day, he sent her another lovely Good night, Angel text.

  As she sunk her head into her pillow, Bella realized she could get used to this. Used to feeling like she was on cloud nine all day. Used to waiting for Jamie’s texts. Used to laughing. Used to talking about totally random weird stuff. Used to sending heart emojis. Used to feeling loved.

  She stopped cold at that thought.

  Jamie didn’t love her. He never would. In two months, he was moving back to LA and then there would be no texts, no fun sex, no smiley emojis, nothing.

  After January, she’d find a husband, marry, buy a house, pop three babies out, and tick every item off her wish list. Except the one she’d never known was on there until today.

  A life with Jamie.

  *

  He was waiting by the entrance of the Philosophy building on Thursday when she finished. Fifteen minutes early.

  “You’re either unemployed or your phone’s broken.” Bella hurriedly removed her glasses and dumped them into her purse. She’d already let him see her in her geeky avatar once, she wasn’t letting it happen again. “I texted you that I’d buy groceries and be at your place by seven.”

  “Couldn’t wait that long.” Boldly, he dropped a kiss on her lips. “And it’s better to buy groceries together. I’m allergic to a lot of stuff you don’t know about.”

  She intertwined her fingers with his. “Like what?”

  “Mushrooms, Brussels sprouts, kale—”

  “Kale? Nobody’s allergic to kale.”

  “I am. The last time I ate kale, I ended up firing my agent. Kale puts me in a bad mood.”

  She grunted. “That’s not an allergy.”

  They argued about the legitimacy of his kale allergy all the way to the Trader Joe’s on Union Square, which was predictably exploding with people and long lines on a weekday evening. Their stop there, even factoring in the time spent standing in the long line and hunting for something Jamie both liked and was not allergic to, was short.

  Again, she made him carry t
he bags. A girl had to give her man a free workout sometimes.

  “Do you remember we first met at Trader Joe’s?” he said, as they cut across W 71st street, heading towards his place.

  “How can I forget? I’ll probably be telling our grandchildren that story. How I met you and you freaked me out—” Her motor mouth caught up with her brain a minute too late.

  Jamie stiffened. “We won’t have grandchildren together.”

  Unease spiraled in her heart. Bella scolded herself for being unreasonably sensitive. Why should the thought of not having grandchildren with him depress her so much? For heaven’s sake, she hadn’t even been planning to have any in the first place.

  “Sorry. It just slipped out. I wasn’t serious.” Gliding over the awkwardness, she pointed to an ad with Megan Fox on it. “Look at her. She’s so gorgeous.”

  Jamie spared a brief glance, but he didn’t seem to be impressed. What man had such a lukewarm response to Megan Fox?

  “I wish I was as beautiful as her.” Hastening her pace as the light turned green, Bella huddled closer to Jamie when the crowd of people around them attempted to cross the street at the same time. “My life would be amazing, then.”

  “She probably wishes she was as smart as you. Then she wouldn’t have to stand around in the snow in her underwear, wondering how she’s going to remain beautiful for the rest of her life and keep getting work. She could be sitting in a warm office, eating what she wants, and sending saucy texts.”

  “She wouldn’t trade her beauty for this body and a boring life.” Bella clamped her hands around her saddlebags and made a frowny face.

  “If she’s sensible, she will.” He locked his arm around her and gave her some hot mouth action. In broad daylight. That instantly ticked PDA off her wish list. “Who wouldn’t want to have these delicious, sinful curves?” His hands stroked her inner thighs. “Or this sun-streaked hair, that dazzling smile, that sexy brain, and those endless blue eyes?”

  Corresponding with the words, his fingers traveled to those parts of her.

  Goose pimples peppered her skin. Under his reverent stroking, she felt special. The kind of special that being in love was like. Except she wasn’t in love. Or not ready to accept it anyway.

  “That’s enough. You’re going to give poor Megan Fox envy.” Deliberately, she batted away his arm and kept some distance from him for the rest of the way.

  Emotionally, though, it was difficult to keep her distance from Jamie. He just had a way of getting under her skin and into those parts of her that she never allowed anybody else to see.

  Dinner wasn’t an elaborate affair. With her limited cooking skill, and Jamie’s even more limited patience, they made a quick lo mein and scarfed it down quicker. Then, it was time to wait for the food to digest while watching TV, before they moved to the dessert—sex.

  Actually they might not get all the way there, because Aunt Flo had paid her a visit this morning. Blood soaked tampons were not going to ever be part of her sex life with Jamie.

  “Hey, I want to watch Grey’s Anatomy.” Angry that Jamie skipped over ABC, Bella snatched the remote from him.

  “What? How are you watching that show after McDreamy died last season?” Jamie tried to wrestle the remote from her control.

  “I still like where it’s going.” A stand of hair blew into her eyes, and she lost the remote to Jamie.

  Brushing away the hair from her eye, he said, “Come on. I don’t want to watch hospital politics. Let’s watch football.”

  “I can’t watch men fight each other over a ball after I’ve just eaten.”

  “Bella...” Vexation crept into Jamie’s tone.

  The debate over what to watch raged for a few more minutes. In the end, they both lost to MTV, because a win either way would have been unfair, so it seemed only fair to settle for something both of them hated.

  “It’s a good thing we’ll never get married. At least I won’t have to fight for TV time with you for the rest of my life.” Kneading her full belly, Bella fired empty breaths at the ceiling.

  He raised his fingers in a figure of two. “We could buy two television sets. That’d solve the problem.”

  Bella’s heart jumped inside her chest. Even a little hint like this from him, that he was open to a life together, was enough get her excited and wishful. Maybe there was a chance.

  Stop building castles in the air. He’s leaving for LA next year.

  Geographical distance was something she couldn’t argue with. Deciding that they didn’t want to watch MTV anymore, they settled for talking.

  “Are you gonna be in New York for Christmas?” Bella asked.

  “Yeah. Grant hosts a great Christmas party every year that I wouldn’t miss for anything. You’re invited, by the way.” Jamie went to the kitchen to switch off the lights, and she saw him turn on his sound system.

  “I’ll be ther—” All those words didn’t make it out of her throat, because her voice froze midway.

  That riff, that beat, that voice. Hell, it was Bryan’s song that was playing.

  You’re my sunshine, you’re all the stars in the sky.

  She groped for something to turn it off, but she couldn’t find anything. He’d written that song for her, which made it more personal and also more painful to hear it.

  “Can you shut that? I don’t want to listen to it.” she shouted, as recollections of all the time he’d sung this song over her skin overtook her.

  Tapping his feet and clicking his fingers, Jamie was humming along. “What’s wrong with it? I happen to like this song.”

  “Jamie turn it off. Please.” The extra squeeze she added on the ‘please’ probably did the trick. He pressed a button, and Bryan was out of her world.

  “Thanks.” It was just a burst of air, unvoiced.

  Placing his solid hand on the small of her back, Jamie regarded her with consternation. “That’s an extreme reaction to a song.”

  When it came to Bryan, all her reactions were extreme.

  Bella swallowed enough saliva to replace the lost lubrication in her throat. “Can I talk to you about something?”

  “Sure.” Jamie easing his hand down her back made it easier for her to talk.

  “I know we’ve had sex only twice, but...if we’re going to be seeing each other in the future, even if only for sex, I have to make this clear...” As she thought of Bryan again, she knew she couldn’t falter now. “You can’t cheat on me. Ever. It’ll have to be just me and you.”

  Jamie fired a quick nod. “Got it. We’re exclusive. I thought we were, anyway.”

  “And it’s non-negotiable. My last boyfriend cheated on me, and I’m still recovering from it.” Rolling her fingers into fists, she pressed them on her thighs.

  “Did that song remind you of him?” Tender now, he planted a kiss at the top of her head.

  Bella buried her head between her cupped palms. “Yeah. My last boyfriend...he wrote that song.”

  There, she’d admitted it.

  “Who was your last boyfriend?”

  “An asshole.”

  She was so angry, she bit her tongue as she hissed out the words.

  Jamie’s eyes crinkled. “Asshole have a name?”

  “Bryan Singer.”

  Jamie’s jaw unhinged. “No shit. You dated Bryan Singer?”

  She sniffed. “For five years. Lived with him for two of those. The media didn’t suspect because he was pretending to date Gisele Bundchen. But he was with me. Or at least I thought he was.”

  “He cheated on you.” That wasn’t a question.

  “Yeah. And I found that out through the news. It was the most embarrassing moment of my life. I was broken for years after that. I...” Overflowing emotion buried her voice. “I loved Bryan so much. I thought we were going to be together forever.”

  Jamie caressed the back of her head. “I want to say I’m sorry for what happened, but I’m not. Because if that hadn’t happened you wouldn’t be here with me, and I’m not sorry a
bout that.”

  His touch reached her jaw. In his eyes, an invitation glittered. Bella didn’t wait. She moved in to close the distance.

  Their lips fused together. Literally fused, because for one magical minute, she didn’t know which ones were hers and which were his. And she didn’t care. She was at her most vulnerable, most broken, and she needed his warmth to make her feel better.

  He gave her a hint of tongue, but then changed his mind and kept it sweet. Bella appreciated that. While she’d love to get passionate, she was still a little raw.

  After kissing some more, she told him more about her relationship with Bryan. She’d shared details of her and Bryan with Ashley and Kat before, but sharing it with a man was totally different.

  At around nine, Bella decided to head back home, though Jamie insisted that she stay the night. Usually, she liked being around people, but sometimes, she just needed to be alone with her thoughts.

  “Goodnight, angel,” he said, when he finally let her go.

  Hearing him say that made her feel so much better.

  Chapter 13

  Dusting off his ‘writing’ laptop, which had lain neglected for a month in his closet, Jamie slid on a pair of reading glasses. On his nose, their weight made him self-conscious. He couldn’t read without glasses. Big deal. Bella couldn’t, either. And she looked pretty sexy with them on.

  The clock’s arms marched slowly. He was waiting for it to strike 10:01.

  10:01 PM was the lucky hour. Every project he’d started at 10:01AM had become a success.

  After the lukewarm audience response to Troubled Domesticity and ABC’s subsequent decision to cancel the show, Jamie needed every ounce of luck for his next endeavor. More than luck, actually, because his next project was something that had a 99.99% probability of failure.

  After guzzling cans of beer and taking a drunken oath, he’d finally decided to write the sequel to Love Me Like You Do.

  Love Me Like You Do Part 2.