by L. C. Mawson
Serenity stared at her for a long moment before laughing. It was a wet sound, and a little manic. Claire couldn’t tell if it was good or bad.
Justice looked between the two of them, seemingly just as confused as Claire.
“Not long after Love came here, I agreed to show her around the city,” Serenity told them, her gaze stuck to the floor as she blew her nose. “When she saw the statue of Joan of Arc at the Place des Pyramides, she laughed. She wondered if she would get a statue when she died, even though she knew that she wouldn’t. She made me promise that it wouldn’t be gold. ‘Nothing so gauche,’ she told me. ‘Make it simple and make it mine. Just remember.’
“I promised I would remember, even if no one else would.”
Justice seemed torn for a moment before finally saying, “Then we’ll put up a memorial. Wherever you want. So that you can remember.”
Serenity bit her lip. “I know it’s a lot to ask but... Could I use a dropship? The monsters never quite made it up the taller mountains. She always said she wanted to see the place they couldn’t spoil but... There was never the time.”
Justice nodded. “I’ll make sure it’s cleared with Bennett,” she assured, squeezing Serenity’s shoulder before heading out of the room.
Serenity nodded, wiping away the rest of her tears. She turned to Claire, who had really been hoping that they had forgotten that she was there.
“Will you come too?” Serenity asked her. “I know you didn’t know her but... I know that you’re not her. I clung to it before, but I know better now. I just... There has to be some part of us these things keep.” She rubbed her own light blue Band. “She would have liked you. You’ve got the same kind of stubbornness she had. The kind you’re very good at hiding. If it doesn’t get you killed, it might just be the thing that saves you...”
Claire nodded. She wasn’t sure exactly why, but she got the sense that going would provide Serenity some kind of closure.
Serenity smiled, seemingly understanding her agreement to go.
CLAIRE FELT UNEASY during the dropship ride. Of course, the last time she'd ridden in one, it had taken her to the hell that still haunted her sleep, but she was sure that it wasn’t just that. Serenity just stared at her hands and Justice was focused on piloting. The dropship was silent, apart from the faint hum of the engine, and it made Claire feel that every noise she made, even something as innocuous as breathing, was too loud and intrusive.
She snuggled into her large coat, hiding herself in it, though she couldn’t help but flinch at the rustling noise it made, even if she suspected that it wasn’t really that loud.
After a while, she realised that she was rocking slightly in place, and decided that she needed to get away. She moved to the cockpit, closing the door behind her. She let out a breath of relief as she sunk into the co-pilot’s seat, no longer worried about the rustling of her coat.
“Who taught you to fly?” Claire asked Justice after a moment.
“The Hate before Hate. He was a good pilot, though I think being the only one at our Tower made him nervous. He taught my brother and I not long after we arrived.”
“What happened to him?”
“Monsters attacked his dropship and damaged the fuel lines, we think. It blew up in the air. Luckily, he was the only one aboard.”
“Ouch.”
“Yeah. We reinforced the hulls on the rest of the ships after that. It shouldn’t happen again.”
Claire nodded before looking at the controls. They didn’t seem too beyond comprehension. “Can you teach me? Even if I never get the hang of my powers... I’d like to be useful.”
Justice nodded. “Sure. Though I don’t think that will be a problem for too long. Everyone gets their powers eventually. The last Love struggled too.”
“Vengeance told me that. What was her excuse?”
“She didn’t have any family, either.”
“And no friends? No lovers before Serenity?”
“She had a boyfriend,” Justice eventually explained, though her voice was low. “He was... a real piece of shit. Love was in a bad way when she came to us. She wouldn’t talk to anyone but Serenity. I think it was because she always trusted her to stay calm, no matter what.”
“Is that what Serenity meant about her not being remembered as she had been?”
“I think so. Love was extremely generous and caring. Once she tapped into her power, she was unrestrained with her love. But it took her a long time to extend it to herself. Serenity helped, though. And the rest of us did what we could. Even when she finally did learn to love herself, it was as Love, not as who she'd been before.”
“That’s... kind of sad.”
Justice shrugged. “Some people can’t forgive themselves for the past. They have to believe that it was a different person in order to move forward. And it kind of is. None of us are who we were yesterday. What matters is who we choose to be tomorrow.”
“Yeah, that seems to be a running theme around here. Forgetting who you used to be, I mean. How did you do it? Just leave all you were behind?”
“I didn’t,” she admitted. “In all honesty, it made some things easier. Gave me a good, clean starting point for being the person I wanted to be. But I didn’t leave my brother behind.”
“What about your parents?”
“I miss them. But having Vengeance around eases the pain. I know that I don’t have it as hard as the rest of you.”
“And you didn’t have any friends or lovers?”
“I had both. But I made new friends. As for lovers...” Justice paused as the dropship began to descend. “That’s a long story and we don’t really have time for it.”
Claire nodded as they landed on the snow below. Her stomach lurched, sure that the slightest movement would nudge the ship into a slide down the mountain, from which it wouldn’t recover.
She followed Justice through to the main compartment, trying to hide her fear. If Justice wasn’t scared, then she had no reason to be, she knew. It didn’t help her churning stomach, or the way her fingers numbed.
“Are you ready?” Justice asked Serenity softly.
“No,” the other Aspect replied. “But that doesn’t really matter, does it?”
“Of course it does. We could go home and do this another time.”
Serenity shook her head. “No. I have to say goodbye. Even if it hurts.”
Justice nodded, opening the main door. To Claire’s surprise, they were actually quite a way from the edge of the bit of flat ground they had found to land on. She wrapped her coat further around herself as the chill air invaded the ship, accompanied by a few flakes of snow.
Justice and Serenity moved the marble cylinder into place. Black letters marked the front.
Wendy Jenkins
Aspect of Love
Amado
2191-2210
Claire had known that she'd only been nineteen, but the stark reminder chilled her more than the mountain air could ever hope to.
“She was the best of us,” Justice said after they finished putting the monument in place.
“If she was the best of us, she wouldn’t be dead,” Serenity said simply. “But she was the best of me. And she was the best of Humanity. Or Half-Blood-manity... I think that matters more, in the end. I’d rather be a good person than a good Aspect. Even if that means I join her sooner, rather than later.”
“We’ll do our best to make sure the monsters are no threat to anyone ever again,” Justice assured her.
“Thanks, but I’m not looking to set things right. There’s no use railing against what can’t be fixed, even if it means that it leaves things unjust.”
“I know,” Justice said softly. “But it’s what I do. It’s what I am.”
Claire looked out onto the horizon. As far as the eye could see was unmarked snow, coating peaks beneath a clear blue sky.
“You can almost forget the chaos from up here,” she said, finding herself shedding tears, though she wasn’t sure why.
“That’s why she wanted to see it,” Serenity told her, her own face wet with tears.
“It’s calm.”
“Serene,” Serenity corrected. “It’s a better me than me out here.”
“Maybe that’s why she wanted to come. To remind her of you.”
Serenity was silent for a few more moments before finally speaking again. “Thank you, Love,” she said, facing Claire to leave no doubt that she was addressing her. “For coming out here with me. For helping me to say goodbye.”
“I’m sorry that you had to.”
“It’s all right,” Serenity said as she looked back out at the horizon. “I think I’m going to be all right...”
CLAIRE RETURNED TO the Tower exhausted and contemplating Vengeance’s earlier words about finding something to focus her love on. After seeing how Serenity had loved her predecessor, it cemented in her mind that romantic love might be the right way to go after all.
“Lita?” she called out, putting her plate into the dishwasher in her kitchen. “Do you know where Hate is?”
“She is currently on the training floor.”
“Thanks.”
As soon as she'd cleared away, she headed down, though not before quickly checking her appearance in the living room mirror.
The lift ride down was almost torturous. She didn’t know why. She knew what was going to happen. She was going to arrive and Hate was going to ignore her and leave. Fear of rejection seemed ridiculous when it was a sure thing.
But she had to try, right?
She saw Hate almost immediately after she disembarked from the lift, hitting a punching bag in the middle of the room. She was in a black racer back and a pair of black shorts and little else, her hair kept from her face by a few barrettes.
“Hate?” Claire said as she approached, her voice more tentative than she would have liked.
“Love. Need me for something?” She didn’t take her eyes off the bag in front of her.
“I just... I wanted to talk to you. You’ve been avoiding me.”
“We’ve been over this.”
“No, you told me that we couldn’t be together. That’s not us going over anything. That’s you deciding for the both of us.”
Hate’s next punch hit particularly hard, the sound echoing throughout the room.
“Exactly,” Hate spat. “I decided that I didn’t want to be with you. What more could you possibly want?”
“I don’t know. An explanation, at least.” Claire couldn’t help but be infuriated. This was not how she wanted this conversation to go, but Hate seemed determined on being stubborn.
“You have an explanation. We’re opposite Aspects. Being around each other will weaken our powers. Given that you can barely access yours to begin with, I think that would be in both of our best interests.”
“What if I don’t care? What if it would actually help my powers to be around you?”
Hate spun around to finally face her at that. “And what about my powers, Love?” She spat her name like it was cursed. “I told you before that opening myself up to feelings of love would weaken me. I was willing to take that chance when you were just a normal girl, but this is too much. You’re the Aspect of Love, for crying out loud! You might have a death wish, but I don’t.”
Hate stormed out at that, leaving Claire more than a little shocked. She hadn’t really been thinking about Hate’s powers. Of course Hate wouldn’t want to risk being with her. She was asking her to risk her life and for what? Being together wasn’t going to help Hate’s powers like it might hers.
She hated the tears when they came. They always came. It didn’t matter what she was feeling, if she got jumbled and confused, the tears would come. She could never stop them. She tried. She tried so hard to be grown up, but she was sure by this point that the tears would always come. No matter what.
She clumsily swiped at them, deciding to head back to her room as swiftly as possible. She didn’t want anyone to see her like this. She turned quickly, only to jump at the figure behind her.
“Pain!” she exclaimed as she finally recognised him. “You scared me.”
“I’m sorry,” he said meekly. “I didn’t mean to startle you.”
“It’s fine, I just...” She wiped away her remaining tears.
“I wanted to talk to you,” he said. “Is this a bad time?”
She couldn’t help but let out a barking laugh at that. “You know, it’s fine. Just don’t tell the others I was crying.”
He nodded. “Of course. I’m used to it. People don’t like their pain being shared.”
“So, what did you want to talk about? We haven’t really spoken since I arrived.”
“I... I wanted to apologise.”
“Apologise? For what?”
He shook his head. “You don’t remember. Which I guess is the point.”
“The point? Pain, you’re not making any sense.”
Pain shifted from one side to the other, frowning a little. “Well, that’s the thing. I wanted to apologise but I promised that I wouldn’t tell you the reason why.”
“You promised? Who did you promise? Why can’t you tell me?”
“I can’t tell you why I can’t tell you. It would break the promise. But I can tell you who. I didn’t know if I should, but I think you have a right to know. You should ask her.”
“Who her?”
“Empathy. Empathy asked me to do something a long time ago and... And I don’t think it was fair of her. Not now. Not when things have changed. Not with you here with us.”
Claire was at a loss. What had Empathy done? Why did it sound as if it was something from before Claire had become an Aspect? Claire hadn’t met Empathy before then.
“I’m sorry,” Pain said simply before leaving Claire alone once more.
CHAPTER NINE
Empathy was avoiding her, Claire decided as she found the Control Room button on the lift deactivated. Well, she supposed that the younger Aspect might be avoiding everyone, since none of the others claimed to have seen her recently, and even Pain, who apparently was with Em whenever Claire wasn’t, was seen on his own in the communal spaces more often.
“Is this because you told me about the thing?” Claire eventually asked Pain, who was lurking around the training area as she finished up.
“Most likely. She knows that I told you. She can’t not. I suspect she’s angry.”
Claire sighed. “If she was angry, she’d probably yell at you over it. No, I think she’s frightened.”
Pain nodded. “She fears you knowing the truth.”
“You know, I’d feel a lot better about all of this if I knew what the truth was.”
“I will not break my promise.”
“Okay, but you’ve already essentially broken it. I doubt Em cares that much about semantics.”
“It’s not about whether she cares. I do.”
Claire gave a groan of frustration. “You’re, like, the worst person to talk to.”
“Em should be the one to tell you. Not me,” he said, as he always did when they had this conversation.
Justice chimed in at that, walking towards them from across the room where she'd been training. “This has been going on for long enough. You two need to tell me why Em is hiding from the rest of us.”
Claire shrugged. “Ask him. All I know is that she’s been hiding something from me and now she’s too scared to talk to anyone.”
Pain had disappeared by the time the two women turned to face him.
“I hate when he does that,” Claire muttered under her breath.
“You get used to it,” Justice told her, though she had a frown of concentration. “I will admit, Pain and Empathy are the Aspects I know the least. They’ve been here the longest and they keep to themselves. Empathy has been more open since you’ve been here and I was hoping it would last. The fact that she’s withdrawn again worries me.”
Claire shrugged. “I wish I could tell you how to fix this, but I’m stumped
. I don’t even know what it is that she’s afraid of me knowing.”
Their conversation was halted by a high-pitch screech of “Jay!” from across the room.
Claire had never seen Justice’s face light up before. She normally had a stern but caring vibe going on. This was something else altogether. She turned to the source of the noise and saw a young woman who absolutely epitomised the term “beach babe.” She had tan skin and her silver eyes seemed to have a warm quality to them, obscured a little by a few strands of golden blonde hair escaping her ponytail. She was wearing a pair of denim shorts, which made it halfway down her slender thighs, and a white tank top, through which a red bikini top with white polka-dots was visible. The practicality of the outfit was solidified by her white trainers, making Claire look for an Aspect Band, which she quickly found.
“Lo!” Justice cried, running over to the other woman and hugging her tight.
“So... Who is that?” Claire asked Vengeance as she stepped over to where he was smirking at his sister.
“Loneliness. She and Justice are kind of dating.”
“Kind of dating?”
He shrugged. “They’ve been trying to make the long-distance thing work. Justice doesn’t get out enough to meet anyone else, so she doesn’t mind. And having a long-distance girlfriend only makes Loneliness’ power work even better.”
“What is her power?”
“Invisibility.”
“So why is she here? I didn’t think we were allowed to travel between Towers without a professional reason.”
“That’s the real question.”
As if to answer them, the lift opened, revealing a woman who Claire recognised as Sherlock. She assumed that it was Empathy, which was confirmed as her body started to shift as she entered the room. Her figure took on Loneliness’ tall, slender and toned look, while her hair became white-blonde like the twins’ and her skin turned the same warm shade of brown as Claire’s.