by L. C. Mawson
“Em,” Claire said, her eager happiness at seeing her friend seeping into her tone.
Empathy ignored her, however, turning to the other two women. “Loneliness,” she greeted. “I’m glad you could come.”
“You called her here?” Justice asked.
Empathy nodded. “I have a plan. For dealing with the intelligent attacks.”
“Intelligent attacks?” Justice asked.
Empathy blinked at her for a moment as her hair darkened and thickened, resembling Claire’s. “Oh. I didn’t tell you.”
Justice frowned. “Tell me what?”
“The monsters. They’re attacking people like us.” She indicated to Claire, though she didn’t look her way, before waving her hand in front of her eyes. She flinched as her fingers caught on her nose and Claire realised she'd absorbed her fine motor skills. Or lack thereof.
“People like what?” Justice asked, not getting it.
“Our eye colour,” Claire clarified. “And, yeah, we don’t understand it either.”
“So, what’s your plan?” Justice asked, turning back to Em.
Em held up a small metal box, with injectors which resembled those on their Bands.
“I’ve managed to knock together a Rena tracking device. If we can get it on a monster, it could lead us back to whoever is giving it orders.”
“You don’t think the monsters themselves have just gotten smarter?” Justice asked.
“Doubtful. This is a mission, not just hunting.”
“And not one the Rena could have preprogrammed into them?”
“If so, why wouldn’t the Rena who came to stop them warn us? And why would it have only activated five years ago?”
“Fair enough,” Justice finally agreed. “So, how are you going to get this on a monster?”
“Oh, that’s where I come in!” Loneliness sang with a smile. “My job is to attach the tracking device to the creature. It won’t see me.”
“But we need bait,” Empathy said simply before finally looking at Claire.
“Not happening,” Justice snapped. “Find another way.”
“Don’t you think I’ve tried? This is the only plan we’ve got and the only bait is either me or Love. I’m the only one who can activate the tracking device, unless you became an expert in Rena technology when I wasn’t looking, so it has to be her.”
“Not alone,” Justice eventually conceded.
“Well, of course not. Hate can go with her. Her power will be enough to scare the monsters off without killing them. If they die, then this will have been a waste.”
Justice nodded, though her frown didn’t fade. She clearly still wasn’t entirely happy with this arrangement.
“I’ve worked with Hate before,” Loneliness assured her girlfriend. “We’ll be fine.”
Justice nodded once more, her frown lessening just a fraction, before turning to Claire. “This is up to you,” she said. “I’m not going to force you to act as bait.”
Claire thought for a moment. The idea terrified her, she wasn’t going to deny it, but then she thought of those dead, silver-lilac eyes staring at her and, surprisingly, she found her fear replaced by an iron determination. She would do anything in her power to protect the others. This would never happen again, she silently swore.
“I’ll do it,” she said aloud.
“All right. We’ll iron out the details and you can head out tomorrow.”
HATE CAME DOWN WHILE they planned the mission, but then quickly disappeared after. She hadn’t so much as looked at Claire the whole time.
Claire wasn’t going to leave her be, though. Not when Hate refusing to speak to her could compromise the mission tomorrow. So, she went to the big kitchen in the communal area, trying to remember how Jealousy had said the fancy coffee machine worked. She ended up looking up the manual online and using the tips from the comments section to figure out how to make a hazelnut latte, topping it with whipped cream once she was done.
She went to the lift with the drink, as well as a plain coffee for herself, and keyed in Hate’s floor. After ringing the buzzer at Hate’s door several times, she heard a shout from within.
“What do you want?” came muffled through the door.
Claire sighed before shouting back. “We need to talk before tomorrow.”
There was a few moments of silence.
“I brought you a hazelnut latte,” Claire finally added.
“Lita, let her in,” she eventually heard.
The door slid open in front of Claire, showing Hate sitting on her sofa, hunched over the coffee table in a way that looked a little uncomfortable. What caught Claire’s eye, however, was the rainbow of colour which coated everything. As she approached, Claire realised that Hate was working on a large, A3 sheet of paper, a bright red pastel in her hand colouring the scales of the dragon she was drawing, with a ski pole straight through its eye.
“I thought you said you worked with oil pastels,” Claire said, deciding not to place the drinks down on the table, given how vigorously it was shaking under Hate’s work. “Only chalk gives you a mess like this...”
Hate nodded. “Do me a favour?”
“Yeah?”
“Take the rest of the pastels to the other side of the room.”
“Okay,” Claire said, placing the drinks on the mantelpiece before moving over to remove the pastels.
Hate continued her work, refusing to look up or enquire about her drink, until she seemed to have finished with the red parts of the work. She reached instinctively for the rest of the pastels but, when she couldn’t find them, she let out a sigh of relief. She sat back on the sofa, rubbing her eyes, only to cover them in red, though she didn’t seem to notice as she continued on to pull her hair back, giving her red streaks through it.
Hate gave the room a tired look as Claire passed her the latte.
“I got the wrong kind by accident and decided to switch it up. Now I remember why I never liked them...”
“I can help you clean if you like.”
Hate shook her head. “It’s fine. It’s my mess. I’ll do it when we get back tomorrow. That’s what you wanted to talk to me about, right? Tomorrow?”
Claire took a sip of her coffee before replying, thinking over her words carefully. She didn’t want to accidentally offend Hate. Not that she could really screw things up between them even further.
“I just... I wanted to clear the air between us. Make sure we can work together.”
“As long as we’re professional, we should be fine,” Hate figured, though her voice had a tightness to it.
“Are you sure about that?” Claire asked, going for soft, but suspecting that she missed it by the way Hate spun around and glared at her.
“I am more than capable of acting professional around you, Love.”
Claire felt the sting of tears at Hate using her new name. She hated it. She felt anger bubble in her chest, and she did everything in her power to quell it. She didn’t want to be Love. She wanted to be Claire. She wanted to be back at St Cecilia’s, with Hate still talking to her.
But it wasn’t something she could change. It was just something she had to get on with.
“How long did it take you to get used to being Hate?”
Hate blinked at her, surprised by the change of subject. After a few moments, however, she answered. “It took a few months. I kept wanting to sneak out and see my parents. But I never did. I knew that if I did, it might dull my powers, and then I could die.”
“I don’t have parents to worry about but... I liked my life. I was a damn good ballerina and I had a good routine set up and...”
And I had you.
She wanted to say it. But she couldn’t. It would be selfish. Hate was avoiding her because she had to put her powers first. She was thinking practically. Bringing up what they might have had would just be hurtful at this point.
“Yeah, well, I didn’t want you to be Love either,” Hate admitted. “You deserved a normal life. Not t
his.”
“Don’t we all?” Claire said, with a sad smile before downing the end of her coffee.
“Claire...” Hate started but she trailed off, whatever she wanted to say lost. “Sorry,” she eventually said. “I keep forgetting.”
“Is it bad that I would prefer that you not use my new name?”
“You know you have to, right?”
She nodded. “Yeah, but... When we’re alone... Please?”
Hate must have heard the notes of pleading in her voice because she nodded. “Okay, Claire. But just when we’re alone.”
“What was your name?” Claire asked. “Before all this?”
Hate seemed torn over telling her, staring down at her empty mug for a few moments before answering.
“Seong. My name was Seong.”
Claire frowned a little. “Vengeance said you were local. That’s an unusual name for around here.”
“My parents were traditionalists,” Seong explained. “They were constantly complaining about how the people of the city were losing their heritage. I used to think they were just being needlessly angry over the whole thing, but now... I don’t know. Maybe I’m just nostalgic...”
When the monsters first came, the death toll was enormous. The Rena who came to help did what they could, but only a couple dozen cities survived. The world population went from over seven billion to about 25 million almost overnight. It completely changed the racial proportions in most of the cities and it homogenised the culture. Claire recognised that Hate was of Korean descent, just as she was of Indian and African, but most people in the city they lived in had traditionally western European names and spoke English.
“Well, I like it,” Claire told her. “I always thought my name was a little too generic. There were three other Claires in my form class at St Cecilia’s, and there were only fifteen of us in the class.”
Hate laughed at that, and it was the same giggle as before that made Claire smile.
“Thanks for the coffee, Claire,” Hate told her. “We’ll be fine tomorrow. I won’t let them get you. If nothing else, you can count on that.”
“I never had any doubt,” Claire assured her, heading towards the lift and feeling much better about the whole thing. “‘Night, Seong,” she called over her shoulder.
“Hey, you’re the one who wants to go by their old name. I’ve been Hate for long enough to be used to my new one.”
“Okay then. ‘Night, Hate.”
“Goodnight, Claire.”
CLAIRE HAD A PRETTY decent night’s sleep given the circumstances and headed downstairs feeling pretty good.
“So, where do you want to go first?” she asked Hate as they met in the Tower lobby.
Hate shrugged as she opened the door for her. “Wherever. As long as we’re out in public, a monster should come.”
“Coffee first?” Claire asked. It was early in the morning. There was no guarantee of when the monster was going to attack, so wandering around town all day seemed like the best plan.
“Yeah, sure,” Hate agreed, clearly a little tired from the night before. Claire wondered if she stayed up to finish the piece, despite breaking her hyperfocus.
“You feeling okay?” Hate asked, carefully choosing her words now that they were out of the Tower. They couldn’t be sure that whoever was controlling the monsters didn’t have ways of tracking them. In fact, given the nature of the attacks, it seemed a given.
“I thought I’d be more nervous but... I think I’m glad that you’re here with me.”
Hate ducked her head, taking a little more time than necessary to tuck her hair behind her ear before turning back to Claire.
“Well, I’m glad I could be of service,” she eventually said.
Silence permeated the crisp morning air for more than long enough for Claire to feel awkward about it. She kept trying to think of something to say, but only drew blanks. She wondered if Hate was having a similar problem, or if she simply preferred the silence. Did she know that Claire preferred silence to small talk and was accommodating her, not taking into account Claire’s anxiety at not meeting neurotypical norms?
“Hey,” Claire eventually said, puncturing the oppressive silence. “You wouldn’t happen to know much about Empathy, would you?”
Hate shrugged. “As much as anyone else. She was already here when I joined. You and Pain probably know the most about her, to be honest. She’s usually just a mirror for whoever she’s talking to.”
“I just... I don’t know. Pain said something about having done something and that Empathy made him promise not to tell me about it. Empathy has been avoiding me ever since.”
“So, what, you think they’re hiding something?”
“I know they’re hiding something. I just have no idea what. Pain was annoyingly vague.”
“Weird...” Hate muttered before shrugging. “Sorry, I have no idea what that could be about. You should probably track down Empathy and deal with it once we get back, though. You don’t want it messing with the team dynamics. Plus... I don’t know. I was glad to know that she was making a friend when you arrived.”
They reached the cafe at that point, but decided to just use the window machine. They didn’t want to venture inside for too long. There would be less damage that way when the monsters finally found them.
“Where do you want to go now?” Claire asked before taking a sip of her coffee and flinching as she burnt her tongue.
“I don’t know. We could have a look at the shops further in town for a while.”
“Any shops in particular?”
“Just... Whatever. We can have a look around.”
“Yeah, okay, sounds good.”
The silence returned once more, though it was slightly less oppressive. Claire chose to focus on the chirping of the birds. She didn’t think it was melodic enough to classify it as song, but it was better than the silence which seemed to be daring the monsters to come and break it.
“So, what’s up with Loneliness?” Claire eventually asked, breaking the silence before the monsters could.
“What do you mean?”
“I mean she’s... I mean, you’ve seen her, right?” Her tone left no question about what she was saying, though Hate replied with a cheeky smile.
“Whatever do you mean?” she asked innocently.
Claire responded by softly punching her arm. “You know exactly what I mean. The girl could be a model.”
“What’s your point?”
“My point is, she’s stunning and super nice and friendly. How exactly is she lonely? I mean, besides having a long distance girlfriend.”
“Aw, you’re going to give me an ego.”
Claire practically jumped at the sound of Loneliness’ voice from next to her.
“I thought you were scouting further out,” Hate said, not keeping her eyes off Claire, clearly not wanting to draw attention to the invisible entity next to them.
“I thought I’d check to make sure no monsters had caught you guys without me looking. My ears must have been burning.”
“Are you going to answer her question or was it too personal?” Hate asked.
“Oh, it’s okay,” Lo replied brightly. “I don’t mind. Actually, I’m kind of surprised you didn’t pick up on my accent. I got yours right away.”
“Lo’s Autistic too,” Hate clarified when she saw Claire’s frown.
“Yup,” Lo confirmed. “But I didn’t realise until I joined the Aspects. Mama always said that people probably didn’t like me because they were jealous, of how I looked and of how smart I was. I didn’t realise it was because they were misreading my attempts at being friendly as coldness. Everyone thought I was stuck-up, and I thought everyone hated me. Eighteen years of that is more than enough loneliness to draw on.
“Anyway, I’d better head back out and look for signs of any monsters again.”
Claire heard a bored sigh before feeling a whoosh of air, and assumed that Lo had taken off.
They didn’t need t
o wait very long before a screech sounded across the street, alerting them to the monster.
“Get down!” Hate yelled, pushing Claire behind a dumpster just in time to avoid a spray of acid.
Hate groaned up against Claire, not moving away. “I hate the acid ones. They’re the worst to dodge. Stay here,” she told Claire as she got ready to move out, but Claire grabbed her arm, keeping her there.
“Wait, what’s the plan?”
Hate frowned. “Distract it while Lo gets the tracker in place.”
“Then it’s better if it has two targets.”
“No! The whole point is keeping you safe. You don’t even have your powers.”
“I can manage without them.”
“That’s just suicide.”
“So is you running out there alone!”
“But that’s my job!”
“It’s my job too!”
“Getting killed is not your job. You are not expendable.”
“I’m just as expendable as you are!”
“No you’re...” Hate let out a frustrated groan before pushing Claire up against the dumpster, her lips pressed against hers in a hurried frenzy that left Claire breathless.
Hate pulled away softly after a moment or two, her hand still in Claire’s hair. “I hate the way you make me feel,” she muttered against Claire’s lips, as if she was cursing, before disappearing.
Claire took a moment or two to process what had just happened, the sound of battle nothing but a distant murmur in her mind.
Hate had kissed her.
That had been... unexpected.
I hate the way you make me feel.
What the hell did that mean?
Claire’s high-speed train of thought was abruptly stopped by another battle screech from the monster. She peeked her head out from behind the dumpster to get a better look, turning just in time to see the monster swipe Hate away, sending her flying into the side of one of the buildings. She hit the wall at around the second floor, falling onto the canopy and rolling to the ground.
Claire forgot all about the creature spitting acid across the street. She sprinted as fast as she could to where Hate was lying.