All I Want Is Forever

by Lynn Emery

  “Monette has never been that clueless, Derrick.” Talia wore a sardonic expression.

  “She was high. And we both know she was just as addicted to risky behavior.” Derrick used the damp paper towel Talia provided to wipe his hands.

  “True, and she’s still in love with drama.” Talia took a swig of soda. “I’ve got the feeling she’s got a major production in the works.”

  “Life is never boring with Monette on the scene.” Derrick wore a half grin.

  “One day she’s going to use up all her lucky chances.” Talia felt a chill. “Monette is about to push the wrong buttons. I can feel it.”

  Derrick’s grin turned now into a frown. “Yeah,” he said.

  Talia glanced at him. “You know something.”

  “Nothing more than I’ve told you already.” He stared ahead at the woods, with one large fist on his right thigh.

  “But you’ve got a theory.” Talia put down the half of her sandwich she hadn’t eaten yet.

  “Not exactly. It’s more like a feeling reading the case file. Why is Winn Barron taking her parole hearing so personally?” He glanced at her.

  “Because he convicted her, and he wants to impress the voters,” Talia said.

  She had seen enough political posturing to recognize the moves. Still, Derrick’s use of the word “personal” struck a chord. She studied the frown on his handsome face.

  “Well, describe this feeling,” Talia prompted, when he didn’t respond.

  “Barron could have just made some speeches using her as an example. I don’t understand why he’s making a trip to testify. He could have sent a letter to the parole board.”

  “Not as effective. Besides, you can’t get the same attention from the media.” Talia gave a cynical laugh. “I’ll bet he makes sure television cameras capture the moment.”

  “Maybe. Or maybe he’s trying to cover himself.” Derrick looked at her. “I may be stretching now, but if Monette is telling the truth then…”

  Talia picked up his line of reasoning in seconds. “Then his sterling record could lose its shine.”

  “I’m no lawyer, but he missed holes in the witness testimonies.” Derrick crossed his muscular arms. “What if he knew they were lying? He could get her off the streets. It’s not like anyone would care.”

  Talia felt a mixture of anger and shame. She’d turned her back on Monette then. Monette’s family had made noisy protests, but their voices didn’t count. Just as many family and friends washed their hands of the whole business. With their own legal problems, the last thing they wanted was to be visible. The police and DA might turn their attention on them. The family members who didn’t have trouble with the police were disgusted with Monette’s lifestyle. The result was she’d pretty much gone through it all alone.

  “Like me,” she said.

  Derrick took her hand. “You were just a kid, and you were hurting.”

  “I was fifteen,” she said quietly. Still she had a sour taste in her mouth. “She was still my mother.”

  “Don’t beat yourself up over Monette’s mistakes,” Derrick said.

  Talia closed her eyes and took a deep breath. “With all she’s done, my mother deserves justice.”

  “Look, I’m not saying Barron did anything wrong on purpose. The man’s full of it, but Larry swears by him.”

  “And you trust Larry.” Talia looked at Derrick hard. She had her doubts given how closely he seemed tied to Barron.

  “Absolutely,” Derrick said with a nod. “I’ve worked with the guy for six years. They may be hunting pals, but they’re not alike in some important ways.

  “I don’t know, Derrick.” Talia drank the last of her soda. “Larry sure jumped to help him prepare for this parole hearing.”

  “It’s not unusual for a prosecutor to testify.” Derrick rubbed his chin. “But I don’t know. His vibe was funny about it. Like he had some reason he wants Monette to stay in prison, and it’s not just to protect the public.”

  “So he doesn’t want his political future to crash and burn. How far would he go?” Talia’s brow furrowed. “Monette tried to hide it, but she’s jittery.”

  Derrick looked at her with a frown. “She mentioned Barron?”

  “No, and I tried to pry it out of her.” Talia ground her teeth in frustration. “She drives me up the wall!”

  “That mother-daughter thing, huh?” Derrick’s voice held a note of sympathy.

  “Complicated by a lot of crap.” Talia waved a hand. “But enough of that. I’m going to talk to her lawyer. Monette will throw a fit, but I’ll help if I can.”

  “So will I.”

  “No!” Talia snapped.

  “What about you?” Derrick wore a calm expression. “I thought you wanted to put miles between your old life and the new one.”

  “Trust me, I’m not doing this with a song in my heart,” she retorted. “But I can’t leave Louisiana without doing something.”

  “I see.” Derrick let go of her hand.

  “My favorite answer to the question ‘What’s up?’ is being able to say ‘Nothing much.’ I don’t want the roller-coaster soap opera kind of life anymore.”

  “What’s that got to do with me?” Derrick’s jaw muscle tightened.

  Talia chewed her bottom lip. She had to be honest with him. “You’re a wonderful man. I care a lot about you. But chasing down crooks and creeps reminds me of living with Monette.”

  “C’mon, Talia!” he said angrily. “This isn’t some ghetto lifestyle! This is my career.”

  “You crave the thrill, the excitement. The only fight I want is over the check with a client.” Talia shook her head slowly. “I’ve had my fill of wondering if someone I love will come home alive.”

  “My job isn’t dangerous.” Derrick turned to her with a stiff expression. “You care about me, but not enough.”

  “That’s not true at all.” Talia put her arms around his neck, but he remained rigid in her embrace.

  “Am I just keeping you warm until you get back to Jarrod?” Derrick carefully took her hands in his and took her arms off his neck.

  “I can’t believe you!” Talia stared at him in shock.

  “Then what’s your game? I thought you felt something real for me.” Derrick’s full mouth twisted into a bitter smile. “I’m feeling used right now.”

  Talia saw the hurt in his brown eyes. “Rougon isn’t my home anymore. Being away has helped me to heal.”

  “Okay.” Derrick stood up. He stuffed the empty wrappers and paper cups into the bag, then crumpled it between his large hands. “I’ve gotta get back to the office.”

  “Derrick, don’t be angry with me.” Talia stood, grabbed his arm to keep him from walking away.

  “You made yourself clear for the hundredth time.” Derrick handed her the bag, then put on his sunglasses. “Throw this away. I’m not coming inside.”

  “Yes, you are.” Talia tightened her grip on his arm. “I’m not going to let go.”

  “You already have, Talia. Too bad it isn’t so easy for me,” he said in a strangled voice.

  “It was hard for me to leave,” Talia said. “I wanted to come back, but you know why I couldn’t.”

  Talia inched toward him, afraid he would bolt if she moved too fast. When he didn’t, she put her arms around his waist. They stood together for a long time. She could feel the warmth of his body through the light blue cotton dress shirt he wore. His hard muscles made her feel safe. After a while his chest rose as he inhaled deeply, then exhaled. Derrick relaxed in her arms.

  “I know, baby. Guess I’m more of a dreamer than I ever thought I was.” Derrick kissed the top of her head.

  Talia trembled with regret at the despair in his tone. She hated being the source of his unhappiness. Yet something deep down felt a panic at staying in Rougon. She’d come close to kidding herself she could. Monette’s dramatic behavior brought back all the reasons she’d stayed away. She would do what she could to help her mother, but at a distanc
e.

  “I truly want to help her, Derrick. I’m going to do a bit of digging on my own.”

  “I’ve got access to files and can—”

  She glanced up at him. “Your whole career would be screwed.”

  “Then I’ll give you what I find out,” he insisted.

  “Perrilloux and Barron will know.” Talia put a hand on his cheek. “Honey, please. Keep away from Monette.”

  “Most of what I tell you will be public record. The rest, well, any good reporter could get it with a little luck and inside sources.” Derrick kissed her forehead. “Face it, we’re in this together already.”

  Talia let go of him and walked around the table to stand in the shade of an oak tree. “See, this is what I didn’t want. We have to think of all kinds of ins and outs.”

  “Life is always complicated,” Derrick said.

  She turned to face him. “Not everyone’s life is about prisons and sensational scandals.”

  Derrick gave a short laugh. “Talia, you work in Washington, D.C., the capital of scandal and double-dealing.”

  “But not in my personal life!” Talia spread her arms out. “Most of the people who live there just work, play, and spend time with their families.”

  “And that’s what you want,” Derrick said.

  “Yes.” Talia rubbed her eyes.

  “You think I’m threatening your dream? Tell the truth, Talia.” Derrick walked closer to her.

  “I didn’t say any of what’s happening is your fault.” Talia let her hands fall to her sides. “Just stay out of it, okay? Jim Rand will have access to the same files you’re reading. If there’s anything funny, he’ll spot it.”

  Derrick put a hand in his pocket. “Okay.”

  “You agreed to that mighty fast and easy, Derrick.” Talia’s eyes narrowed. “What are you up to?”

  “Nothing. You want me out of it, I’m out of it.”

  “Good.” She continued to eye him with suspicion.

  “Wonderful. Look, I gotta go.” Derrick’s expression behind the dark glasses was hard to read.

  “I just want you to be safe, that’s all,” Talia said, making sure to soften her tone.

  “So you keep telling me. And I keep telling you I’m more than able to look after myself.” Derrick joined her in the shade and took off his sunglasses. His eyes were intense. “Stop pushing me away.”

  “Talia, geez! When you said this place was in the sticks, you didn’t lie.” Jarrod strode down a path from the front yard, his suit coat over one arm. His expression tightened visibly when he glanced at Derrick. “Hello, I think we met in D.C.” He stuck out a hand once he got close.

  “Yeah.” Derrick clasped it tightly for a second, then let go. They stood gazing at each other in silence.

  Talia cleared her throat. She shot a warning look at Derrick, who seemed to be coming to a slow boil. “Hi, Jarrod. What in the world are you doing here?”

  “I came to support you in any way I can. Jasmine told me you were staying longer. I got worried.” He ignored Derrick and walked close to her. “Are you holding up okay?”

  “Of course I am. You didn’t have to come all this way to ask me that. There’s e-mail and the telephone.” Talia tried not to let too much of the irritation she felt come through.

  “There’s a mini-conference in New Orleans this week on a national gun-tracking system. We’re training top cops on the department’s updated computerized system.” Jarrod flashed a charming smile. “I saw a chance to see you and grabbed it.”

  “Oh.” Talia looked at Derrick. She recognized that blank expression. “So you’ve got to get back I guess.”

  “I’ve got plenty of time.” Jarrod assumed a relaxed pose, as though he didn’t intend to move for days.

  “Like I said, I’ve got to go. I’ll call you later.” Derrick started off.

  “Wait!” Talia called out louder than she intended. She shot a tight smile at Jarrod, then followed him. “What’s the rush?”

  “Is this a coincidence?” Derrick gave a slight nod back toward Jarrod.

  “I didn’t know he was coming if that’s what you mean. And I sure as hell didn’t invite him,” she said in a harsh whisper, then looked at Jarrod over her shoulder.

  “He must have had a reason to think he’d be welcome. Bye, Talia.” Derrick looked away. “I can’t compete with a hot lawyer making three times my salary.”

  “This isn’t a competition with me as the prize,” she hissed. “Don’t go all ‘You my woman’ on me, Derrick Guillory.”

  “I like the way you say my name with that dangerous edge to your voice.” Derrick lifted one dark eyebrow, his full lips parted in a provocative expression.

  Talia gasped at the shock of pleasure through her hips. “Don’t patronize me.”

  Amusement faded from his expression. “D.C. keeps calling you, babe. He’s part of that life. Maybe you’re right, you belong far away from here.”

  She heard the unspoken words loud and clear. “Not from you.”

  “I really do have to go. I’ve got two witnesses to track down.” Derrick leaned down and kissed her lips gently. His wore a devilish grin when he stood straight again. “Let him stew over that one.”

  “You, you…” Talia huffed, as he backed away and waved good-bye.

  “See ya, babe,” he called out. “Nice seeing you, man.”

  “Yeah, right,” Jarrod replied in a dry tone.

  Talia spun around and glared at Jarrod. Unable to vent at Derrick for his behavior, she turned her anger on Jarrod. She marched back to him and put both hands on her hips.

  “You just happened to be in Louisiana. Then you drive over an hour way out here ‘in the sticks’ as you put it.” She glared at the tall attorney.

  He sat on the edge of the picnic table. “You got it. Looks like I came at the right time, too.”

  “Meaning?” Talia crossed her arms.

  “I don’t know all the details, Talia. But I listened when you were talking about home.” Jarrod gazed at her. “You don’t want to stay here.”

  “You’ve got me all figured out, huh?” Talia retorted.

  Jarrod seemed unaffected by her anger. “Something bad went down. Something you’d rather not be reminded of. This guy is trying to convince you everything is okay now.”

  “Okay, Sherlock. I can’t fool you.” His words shook her. Talia tried to remember exactly what she’d said to him during all their long talks.

  “Don’t worry, you didn’t give me details. I’m just good at reading between the lines.” Jarrod stood. “I can help.”

  “No, you can’t. I appreciate your concern, but I’ll be okay.” Talia smiled at him.

  “I thought we were closer than this, Talia.”

  She shook her head slowly. “I don’t know what you want me to say.”

  “Then I’ll tell you.” Jarrod walked within inches of her. “Say you want me to stay. Trust me enough to let your guard down finally.”

  “I can’t. What’s happening doesn’t just involve me.” Talia took his hand. “I appreciate the offer, really I do.”

  Jarrod pulled free from her grasp. “So I’ll read it in the newspapers I guess. Was I Derrick’s stand-in?”

  “Okay, I’ve been understanding. Don’t push it!” Talia tossed back angrily. “I’m not your possession, and I’m not Derrick’s either.”

  “What did you expect me to think? I come all the way here to be with you and find him hanging out.” Jarrod combed long fingers through his hair.

  “Stop with the jealous boyfriend act. We agreed to be friends.” Talia looked away when his hazel eyes clouded with hurt.

  “I took what I could get. Let me in,” he said softly.

  “No, Jarrod.” Talia sighed. “You’ll be grateful I didn’t get you mixed up with my troubles. Trust me on that one.”

  “No I won’t,” he said, his voice husky with disappointment. “I’d walk through fire for you, Talia.”

  “The last thing I need is one
more person to worry about. Be sensible,” Talia said with a frown.

  “Come back to D.C. with me. We can wrap up anything we need to here.” Jarrod brushed her hair with one hand. “Remember our favorite Friday night date?”

  “Yeah, Chinese takeout and comedy videos.” Talia smiled.

  “Except it’s my turn. Lebanese takeout and one of those vintage Eddie Murphy stand-up routines.” Jarrod smiled back at her. “Then we could head over to see the latest art exhibits or take in a jazz performance. Or maybe go to our favorite Japanese restaurant.”

  Talia nodded slowly. She kept up a fast pace during the week, but she did occasionally slow down on the weekends. Washington, D.C., was the most exciting place she’d ever lived. And it was far from Rougon. Two major attractions.

  “Listen, Jarrod.” Talia placed a hand on his shoulder. “I’m going to make sure Mama Rose gets back to her normal routine of Women’s Auxiliary meetings, church twice a week, and sticking her nose in my personal business. Then I’m outta here.”

  He studied her expression for several seconds. A relaxed smile spread across his face. “Good. Are you sure I can’t—”

  “Positively, absolutely sure! Now go back to that conference before your boss finds out you’re goofing off.” Talia turned him around and pushed him ahead of her.

  “Hey, I don’t even get to take you out to dinner?” he said over his shoulder.

  “You can’t hang around all day waiting for me. I have work to do.”

  “I’m going to the department’s office in Baton Rouge. I’ll be back by six.” Jarrod whirled around to face her. “What do you say?”

  “You’re such a hardheaded guy. Fine. I’ll treat you to dinner at the Ox Bow. Satisfied?” Talia shook her head.

  “Totally.” Jarrod gave her a quick kiss before she could dodge him. “I know, just pals.” He waved and strolled off whistling.

  Talia followed him to his rental car, a steel blue Chevy Lumina. Jarrod flashed another smile, then backed out of the driveway.

  “Bye,” she murmured.

  Jarrod had arrived in time as a reminder of why she stayed in D.C. She’d fought hard to leave her childhood behind. Time and distance helped. None of that history had followed her, except for painful memories, and Talia had pushed those into a locked mental closet. Yet just as she’d feared, being back in Louisiana had changed the past into the present.