Wish List (How To Be The Best Damn Faery Godmother In The World (Or Die Trying) Book 2)

by Helen Harper

  It felt like I’d wandered into the pages of a spy novel. The whole thing was barely credible and yet I could believe it. I did believe it. ‘You were caught on camera.’

  Rose gave me an interested look. ‘Really? I saw the footage. It wasn’t clear that anyone had thrown Sophia off the balcony.’

  I shook my head. ‘I mean outside the theatre. There’s a clip of a BBC reporter explaining what happened to her and you’re in the background. You’re only there for a second but you’re definitely there.’

  Rose was silent for a moment. ‘Well,’ she said finally, ‘there you go. I wonder if Morgan Ferguson has that clip too. It’ll add credibility if he publishes the story. I hope he does. Adwell deserves to go down.’

  ‘Art Adwell was behind the order?’

  Rose nodded. ‘My department was off the books but this order was even further off the books. There was no trace of it anywhere, not officially. At first my boss believed that I’d gone rogue but I was on good terms with him. I persuaded him that I was just following orders.’

  She smiled faintly. ‘Of course, it helped that I had proof of my own. I’d met Adwell the week before and secretly recorded him when he ordered the hit. I’d learned enough over the years – I wasn’t a complete fecking idiot. No matter what the job was, I always made sure I had insurance.’

  I stared at her. ‘But if you had proof that he’d given the order, how did Adwell get away with it?’

  ‘I was paid off,’ she said starkly. ‘It was deemed disadvantageous to the country for a Member of Parliament to be found to have engaged a government-approved assassin to kill a colleague. It was hushed up. Adwell was told to slink away into the darkness and so was I.’

  Even though I’d expected to hear all this, I was still shocked. ‘He didn’t keep his side of the bargain, did he?’

  She grimaced. ‘No. He resigned on supposed health grounds and stayed away from politics for a few years but you won’t keep a bastard like that down for long. My old boss died of lung cancer and it wasn’t long after that before good ol’ fecking Art returned to public life and ran for office again. If there was anyone else around who knew what he’d done, he either paid them off or persuaded them that it was all lies.’ Her nose wrinkled in disgust. ‘He got away with it. With all of it. He ruined my good name and almost had me locked away as some sort of terrorist.’

  Her bitterness was palpable. ‘I’ve been planning my revenge for a long time. The only difference to Art Adwell now and Art Adwell then is that now he uses private contractors for his dirty work instead of government ones.’

  I shook my head. ‘Why didn’t you tell anyone before, Rose?’ I whispered. ‘Why wait until now? The man shouldn’t be allowed in office – he shouldn’t be anywhere other than prison. What about the things he might have done to other people?’

  She let out a short, unexpected burst of cold laughter. ‘I don’t care about other people. I was an assassin, dearie. I killed people. Do that enough and you lose any trace of the person you once were, or might have been. Empathy can quickly become a foreign fecking thing. Besides, it was my hands that killed Sophia Twist. I was as much to blame as Adwell.’ Her tone soured. ‘If I came forward and revealed myself, I’d be in the same boat as him. And I wasn’t any more willing to spend the rest of my life in prison than he was.’

  ‘But you were only following orders,’ Vincent objected quietly.

  ‘And so were most of the Nazis,’ she returned, without missing a beat. He flinched. ‘I’m only letting the story come out now because I’m dying. I have nothing more to lose.’

  I wondered if that was true or not. How many years had Rose spent wondering if she should tell the truth? How much guilt had she felt? I wanted to believe that she regretted not saying anything sooner but maybe that was just wishful thinking. Maybe this was about nothing more than revenge but I preferred to think otherwise, even if that was only the optimistic faery godmother in me.

  ‘What I still don’t understand,’ I said, ‘is why you’ve been so keen to confront Adwell and his men yourself. You might have a terminal disease but at several points you’ve seemed happy enough to have them shoot you in the head and be done with it.’

  Rose made a face. ‘Do you think I want to die in some hospital bed, hooked up to a million machines and covered in my own fecking piss and drool?’ She straightened her shoulders and met my eyes, for a brief moment looking like the cold-hearted assassin she once was. ‘If I can take some of those bastards with me to hell, I’ll have done a good thing. Especially if one of them is Art Adwell himself.’

  I watched her for a moment. ‘This is deliberate,’ I said finally. ‘You want to face Adwell. You want him to come after you.’

  Rose looked mightily pleased with herself. ‘He’s a powerful politician. If you can’t approach the lion in his den then you lure him out so that he comes to you. I contacted Morgan Ferguson at the Daily Sentinel and made some noises about what I knew. It took that tabloid wanker all of five minutes to dig around and alert Adwell. It was a damned good plan.’

  She lifted her chin and glared at me. ‘If you’d not involved yourself, it would already have played out and none of us would be sitting here now.’

  Funnily enough, I didn’t feel even slightly guilty about interfering. The fewer corpses, the better. It was a rule I liked to live by.

  ‘Chances are,’ I said sceptically, ‘that he’ll kill you long before you manage to kill him. I appreciate that you have skills, Rose, but he has a whole team with him.’

  The old woman tapped her nose. ‘He can’t kill me straightaway,’ she said smugly. ‘I’ve still got the recording, the one where he ordered me to kill Sophia Twist.’

  I exhaled. ‘Your insurance.’

  ‘Indeed. I made a point of telling Ferguson where it is. It’s in a locker in a storage facility in London. I have the code. Ferguson believes that he’ll be given it by a third party in the event of my death.’

  ‘Ferguson believes?’ I repeated, focusing on her words. ‘He’s not actually going to receive the code?’

  For the first time, a flicker of guilt lit Rose’s eyes. ‘It’s a long number,’ she said. ‘I can’t remember it offhand.’

  Vincent’s mouth dropped open. ‘You’re kidding me.’

  Rose frowned. ‘I wrote it down so that I didn’t have to remember it.’

  ‘Wrote it down where?’

  ‘On a piece of paper.’

  I gritted my teeth. ‘And where’s the piece of paper?’

  ‘At home,’ she answered simply. ‘In the Lake District. Where else would it be?’

  My heart sank. I might not have seen it with my own eyes, but I believed Art Adwell when he’d said he’d razed Rose’s home to the ground. Unless she remembered that code, chances were it was lost for good. I decided against revealing that information for now. It wouldn’t help.

  For a long moment, nobody spoke. I turned everything over in my head, trying to decide how best to proceed. Vincent looked rather nauseous, no doubt wishing he’d never met either of us. Rose merely smiled to herself.

  Eventually Vincent cleared his throat. ‘You’re the faery godmother, Saffron,’ he said. ‘Grant her wish and make Art Adwell drop dead. Then we can all go home.’

  ‘I can’t do that,’ I said. ‘I don’t have power over life and death. I can’t kill someone through a wish and I can’t extend a life either. It doesn’t work like that.’

  ‘He’s a bad man,’ Vincent protested. ‘He deserves it.’

  ‘It doesn’t matter. Even if I wanted to do it, I couldn’t. My magic doesn’t work that way.’ I glanced at Rose. ‘Anyway, that’s not Rose’s wish. Am I right?’

  She sniffed. ‘Perhaps you’re not completely dense after all. I’ll be the one to end Adwell’s life. If I can’t do it, no one will.’ She raised a shaky finger and pointed it at me. ‘She already knows what my wish is.’

  I pushed back my hair and sighed. Yeah, I knew. Deep down, anyway.

&n
bsp; Vincent looked from me to Rose and back again. ‘What? What is it?’

  There was a sudden hubbub of voices from outside the meeting room. My brow creased then I checked my watch and my insides contracted. ‘Look,’ I said, ‘I’ve got other things going on that I have to deal with tonight. I’d appreciate it if no one found out that I brought you both here. You already know that this building is protected by magic. You’ll be safe here for the time being.’ I massaged my neck. ‘I can’t condone the killing of another living being,’ I said to Rose, ‘no matter what they’ve done to deserve it.’

  ‘It’s not your place to interfere,’ she returned. ‘You’re my faery godmother. You’re supposed to be my side. And anyway, you don’t have to help me kill Art Adwell – you only have to make sure you don’t get in my way when I do it.’

  I didn’t know if I could agree to that. I sighed. ‘Look,’ I said, ‘can you just stay here for now and hold off on any attempted murders for the next few hours? Vincent?’

  ‘I don’t want to be left alone with her,’ he said.

  ‘You’re a grown adult male,’ I said, ‘and she’s a little old lady.’

  Rose bristled at my words but thankfully kept quiet. We all knew what she could probably do to both Vincent and me if she wanted to.

  ‘Fine,’ Vincent said finally. ‘I’ll stay.’

  Rose wheezed, a rattling sound that made us all jump. Her hand briefly went to her chest before she dropped it again. ‘Till dawn,’ she declared overly loudly. ‘Not beyond that. My time is running out.’

  I didn’t know where to look. ‘Thank you,’ I said quietly. ‘Make yourselves comfortable and I’ll be back as soon as I can.’

  Chapter Twenty-One

  I stepped out of the meeting room feeling slightly faint. Whether that was because of the injuries I’d sustained or because of Rose’s revelations, I couldn’t have said. Either way, I was so mired in myself that I half leapt out of my skin when the voice spoke from out of the gloom of the office.

  ‘Who is in there?’ Jasper stepped forward, until he was standing in the moonlit glow seeping in from the nearest window. It gave his skin an other-worldly glow. Then again, he was other-worldly. We all were. ‘Who is in that room?’

  I licked my lips. ‘No one,’ I answered.

  He gave me a long look. ‘Saffron.’ He said my name almost as if it were a caress. Then his voice changed. ‘Don’t take me for a fool.’

  I smoothed down my blouse and took a deep breath. ‘Okay,’ I said. ‘I left some … friends of mine in there.’

  Jasper immediately started forward. I blocked his path.

  ‘Look,’ I said, ‘I know you’re here to do an audit. I know your job is to investigate what we’re up to. But if we’re really friends, can you let this slide? You have no reason to go into that room. It’ll be better for everyone if you don’t. It’s nothing nefarious, I promise you that, and it’s only temporary. They’ll be gone by morning. Let’s concentrate on what’s about to happen over the road. What’s going on in that room doesn’t concern you.’

  I twisted my hands together. Please, Jasper, I pleaded silently. Let this one go. I could only deal with one headache at a time.

  A muscle pulsed in his jaw. ‘Fine,’ he said eventually, while my shoulders sagged in relief. ‘Maybe it’s better if I don’t know.’

  ‘What you don’t know can’t hurt you,’ I chirped, before I could stop myself. Then I winced. That had been unnecessary.

  His eyes roved over me. ‘If you say so.’ He folded his arms. ‘You’re in a worse state that you were a few hours ago. If you won’t tell me what’s going on, at least get out your wand and sort yourself out. You look half dead.’

  Uh…

  Jasper clicked his tongue. ‘What?’

  I screwed up my face. ‘I kind of lost of my wand.’

  ‘You … lost it?’ His voice was disbelieving.

  ‘Um, yeah. I put it down somewhere and now I can’t find it.’

  He heaved in a breath. ‘Saffron, we’re about to break down the door of a suspected troll hideout and you don’t have a wand with you for magical back-up? Trolls can do magic without using tools. So can I. You don’t have that luxury.’

  ‘It was an accident,’ I said in a small voice. ‘And thank you for pointing out my other failings. If you’d not said that, I’d never have realised that my wand was so important.’

  He snorted. ‘There’s no need to be sarcastic. You’re the one who lost it.’ He shook his head and turned away. ‘Billy!’

  I started. What was he doing here?

  The door to Jasper’s temporary office opened and Billy’s face peered out. ‘Yes? What can I do?’ He noticed me and smiled, clearly relieved. ‘I’m glad you’re back, Saffron. I did as you asked and walked past that building a few times. There’s definitely magic there. The man Angela saw has to be a troll. There’s virtually no other explanation.’

  I breathed out. Maybe my luck was about to turn. Then I looked past my friend and noted the familiar figures of Angela, Alicia and Delilah hovering there too. So that was who I’d heard talking. It didn’t explain what they were doing, though.

  ‘Why are you all here?’ I asked.

  Alicia pushed past Billy and tossed her head. ‘We’re part of the task force. You can’t just push us to the side when it’s time for some action, Saffron. We might not be going into the building with you but you’ll need us for back-up if something goes wrong. And if there are trolls in there, as Billy and Angela reckon…’ Her voice trailed off and she shrugged. ‘Anyway, you might be the leader but you’re not our boss.’

  Never was a truer word spoken.

  Angela frowned and peered at me. ‘What’s wrong with you?’ she enquired. ‘You look like shit.’

  ‘That’s not nice,’ Delilah protested. Then she blinked at me. ‘Actually, you don’t look at all well, Saffron. Maybe you should sit this one out.’

  Jasper ran a hand through his hair. ‘Billy, can you find a replacement wand for Saffron?’

  Billy’s body jerked and he stared at me. ‘You lost your wand?’

  ‘I’m sure it’ll turn up again,’ I said weakly. Maybe I’d get lucky and Adwell would have left it in Vincent’s house. A faery godmother could wish.

  He tutted loudly. ‘That’s a very serious thing, Saffron. I’ll have to make a report. The rules state that…’

  I waved a hand. I was starting to think that he’d spent so much time parroting various rules that now he was conditioned to do so whether he meant it or not. ‘I know what the rules say. And I’m very sorry. But if you have a spare…?’

  He rolled his eyes and stomped off. ‘I’ll fetch one.’

  There was the sound of a door opening. I turned and, with a sinking stomach, saw Vincent poke his head out. ‘Saff,’ he said, ‘could we get some food? If we order pizza, will the delivery driver be able to find us?’ He glanced round at the others, spotting Jasper. ‘Hey!’ he beamed. ‘Good to see you’re alive and kicking, mate!’

  Jasper stared at him then rolled his eyes at me. Alicia, Angela and Delilah gaped.

  ‘I’ll sort you something out shortly,’ I said quickly.

  Vincent grinned. ‘Fab. Thanks.’ He raised his eyebrows. ‘Are you all faery godmothers?’

  ‘Vincent,’ I warned, before he started to bother them with wish requests.

  He gestured at me. ‘I’m going, I’m going! Sorry!’ His head disappeared and the door closed once again.

  Everyone looked at me. I dropped my gaze. ‘It’s a long story. They won’t be a problem. I promise.’

  ‘Oh, Saffron,’ Delilah breathed, her eyes wide. ‘You are going to be in so much…’

  The door opened again. ‘Vincent!’ I snapped. ‘You…’

  It was Rose. ‘I need a fecking piss,’ she said. ‘Where’s the toilet?’

  I passed a hand over my forehead. ‘Down there,’ I said pointing.

  Rose grunted and shuffled off.

  ‘Saffron,’ Ja
sper began.

  ‘Don’t,’ I said. ‘Just don’t. I’m dealing with it.’

  Billy returned, holding a new wand. He handed it to me and then looked around. ‘What’s with everyone?’ he asked. ‘Has something happened?’

  Rupert appeared. ‘Sorry I’m late,’ he said. He was shaking his head. ‘Would you believe I just passed a little old lady in the corridor? A human lady?’

  When I was writing my memoirs and I wanted to pinpoint the moment where it all went wrong for me, I reckoned this might well be it. ‘Trolls,’ I said, raising my voice so that it echoed round the room. ‘We are here to find some trolls.’

  ‘Hoo-yah!’ Rupert fist-pumped the air. ‘Let’s slaughter them and all be heroes!’

  I should have been thankful that it didn’t take much to distract him. ‘This is a fact-finding mission,’ I said sternly. ‘There will be no slaughtering. Not now.’ Not ever. ‘Jasper and I will find out for certain whether there are trolls in the building across from us and how many of them there are. We won’t do anything other than investigate. We’re not going to be heroes, we’re just looking. You lot are here in case anything goes wrong. You’re not to enter the building unless I say otherwise.’

  ‘Are those humans here as back-up too?’ Alicia enquired innocently.

  Fuck a puck. I should have known she’d find a way to turn the conversation back to them.

  I opened my mouth to say something snide in return then I thought better of it. I was still Saffron Sawyer and I still had it in me to be smarter than the average godmother. ‘They are here,’ I declared, ‘as advisors. They each have a very special skill set which will help us out. And,’ I added, ‘they’re obviously both covered by memory magic so their presence here won’t be a problem.’

  Jasper shot me a sharp look. He knew, of course, that memory magic didn’t apply to Vincent. He could also work out that Rose was the client I’d asked him about vis-à-vis removing the memory magic’s hold on her. I didn’t look at him.

  ‘What special skills?’ Billy asked suspiciously.