Walls of Ash

by Amber Newberry

  “Can you stand?” Li asked. I tried to get up but the ground seemed to be rocking side to side and I fell back. I began to feel seasick.

  “I’ll have to carry her,” Julian said.

  “No, I can handle myself,” I said defiantly, and it was a little louder than I meant for it to be. Julian picked me up like a baby and carried me so that the guests would not see me in that condition. Bernadine followed, but she demanded that Li go back to the party because the guests would certainly miss her.

  “Meet us back in her room with water,” Julian ordered Bernadine.

  “Heavens no! Sir, yeh don’t expect me to leave her alone with yeh! She’s in such a way!” She sounded horrified.

  “Go!” he ordered. I managed to nod at her and off she went.

  “She’ll be the death of me!” I heard Bernadine say as she ran toward the kitchen.

  “No, she’ll be the death of me!” Julian said as he turned to go through a door sideways.

  “You haven’t seemed to mind all the trouble before,” I said and leaned my head on his shoulder.

  “When are you going to stop all of this nonsense?” he asked.

  “When I have had my fill of your dissatisfaction,” I said.

  “If that’s the case, you should just let me marry you.” He laughed, and I frowned at him.

  “Then you would be dissatisfied all the time?” I asked teasingly. He let out a beleaguered sigh.

  “Then I accept!” I said, and I kissed his cheek.

  “Stop that.” He was really annoyed now, and we did not talk the rest of the way. When we reached my room, I was nearly asleep but I heard Bernadine’s steps as she ran up from the servants’ quarters and met us at the door.

  “Ha!” she said as if she just won the race to protect my innocence, though Julian made it clear that his intentions were honorable.

  He walked into the room long enough to place me on the bed, and then he turned and left saying, ‘goodnight’ to Bernadine but not to me. I realized that he really was upset by my repartee.

  Bernadine helped me change into my dressing gown. She put me in bed and pulled the blankets up to my chin as she did so many times when I was a child.

  “Miss--” She stopped short, “OH! Lady Rhineholt! I shall ne’er get use to that...” She pressed the cool cloth to my forehead.

  “Shall I stay with yeh a bit, or bring yeh some more of that remedy?”

  “My mother, she cared deeply for you,” I said wearily, and she was surprised at the comment.

  “I read it in her journal. You were so dear to her.” I could hardly keep my eyes open.

  She seemed saddened by the mention of my mother.

  “Thank you, Miss.” She did not correct herself this time, and I think she saw me as that child again, tucked into the bed. She got up to pull the curtains and came back to touch my hands, which were folded on my stomach.

  “Why did Camilla leave her?” I asked, and I was drifting off, but not before I saw a pained look on her face.

  She did not answer and if she had, I was already asleep, but I think she would not have talked to me about her sister. That night was filled with many curious things, images of the trees reaching out to me and the room spinning round and round, until I awoke the following morning with only a trace of a headache.

  CHAPTER 14

  The next morning I was feeling much better. I slept well and Bernadine’s concoction did the trick, there was almost no headache. I was mystified. My embarrassment over the situation was hilarious to Li, and she laughed uproariously when I told her what I said to Julian as he carried me up the stairs to my room the night before.

  “Tam! You are lucky he didn’t take your acceptance seriously since you are so against marrying the poor man!” She was giggling with me at breakfast. We managed to get up just late enough to miss most of the guests who were preparing to leave Hilbourne.

  “I hope you know that I will not let you get out of coming to India with me,” she said and seemed truly concerned that I would not join her.

  “I would follow you to the ends of the earth, dear friend.” I said, smiling, but she looked distraught.

  “What is it, Li?”

  “I am afraid. I’ve never been so far away, and it sounds like such a dangerous place. The people will be so different. A man at the party last night talked of them as uncivilized!” she spoke seriously. Li was really afraid of going to India.

  “I don’t think an uncivilized people could develop a place as Julian has described, dear,” I said comfortingly.

  “He even says that the people are pleasant and fascinating.” She gave me a slight smile, but I could see that she was still worried.

  “I don’t plan to bring Dolly, but you will bring Bernadine and Fleur? Do you think that they would mind double duty?” Dolly was Li’s maid, who she took a disliking to right away. I said, ‘of course.’

  “Leo says that the housekeeper here spent many years managing the plantation house, perhaps if I talk to her about it she might ease my mind,” Li conjectured.

  “I think that is a good idea.” I changed the subject.

  “I plan to go and see someone who lives near town sometime before the week is out. Would you care to come along?”

  “Anything to get out of another dress fitting. Celia is positively running me ragged! I long for my nightdress all day long!” she joked. She was so good at making light even when she was worried. I was glad that I would be getting away from Hilbourne, and that I would be with her.

  * * *

  Leo offered to drive us into town in a jaunting car. Hilbourne was far enough away that we would all have to stay a night at the inn, and I was looking forward to being away from the Abbey. I had not gone into the library since Eckhardt’s death and even my room alarmed me late at night, to the point that I was considering moving to a different one.

  Li told Celia she needed some things from the shops in town, and she agreed that the time away might be good for us both, though she would not be able to come along. Leo had things to do in the village, as well, so he would not be with us for most of our stay. I was glad that Li would be with me when I went to visit Creeda. If my suspicions of Fleur’s father were correct, I would be glad Li was there to talk it over with after. I also thought she might get a kick out of old Creeda.

  We left early in the morning so that we would be able to spend the afternoon tea time at Aven Cottage. Leo wanted to stay there, but we were not able to write in advance and did not want to put Creeda out. When we cleaned up from the journey at the inn, we walked up the lane into the forest and then onto a path which led to the garden-surrounded house. Li commented on how enchanting the white aven flowers were. They seemed to be everywhere.

  I knocked and to my surprise, Fleur opened the door. She was just as surprised to see Li and me standing on the doorstep, but she invited us in, and Creeda threw her hands up when she saw me. She came over and embraced both of us, and said how she just loved company. Creeda set about making tea, and Fleur sat with us while we waited.

  “I wasn’t aware you would be visiting Creeda,” I said to her.

  “Creeda cared for me for a time when I was a little girl. She was the midwife when I was born. She knew my mother well,” Fleur said, confirming that Camilla was pregnant when she left my mother and Rhineholt.

  “I trust that your holiday has been pleasant, so far?” I asked.

  “Oh yes, I work in the garden all morning, it is very calming,” she replied, but she seemed ill at ease.

  When Creeda returned with the tea, Fleur excused herself saying that she was meeting a friend, who used to work at Rhineholt, in town. It was a strange chance meeting her there, and Fleur seemed quite nervous, but I couldn’t be sure if it was because I brought back the memory of her killing Eckhardt, or if she did not want me to know where she was.

  “Your garden is flourishing,” I said, and Creeda was delighted that I chose that as a topic of conversation. She chatted about the different ve
getables, the flowers, and the tiny animals that would visit. Li said it seemed like something out of a fairy tale, and that delighted the plump old woman.

  “Now, me lady. Tell me about me Jules and little Leo! I’ve not seen them boys so much this summer. This is Leo’s betrothed, hm?” she asked pleasantly.

  “Yes, ma’am. We will wed near the end of October,” Li said.

  “Won’t that be splendid, with the trees a’changin’...” Creeda replied.

  “An’ Lady Rhineholt? Do the bells chime fer yeh as well?” she asked expectantly. She was eager for my answer, and I knew it was because she wanted both of ‘er boys’ to be happy.

  “Not yet,” I said and she frowned.

  “No, ye’ve had a bit of a time, what with the fire an’ such...” She reached over and patted my knee.

  “Before long, though. There’ll be a golden band fer yeh!” Li thought that was a funny expression.

  We talked for a long time about Li’s wedding plans, and that she and Leo would be going to spend their first year of marriage in India.

  “Them outlandish places! But fer the tea me boys wouldn’t bother!” Creeda shook her head.

  “I worry fer them boys somethin’ awful!” I looked at Li, but she didn’t seem bothered with the talk of worry regarding India.

  There was a little more small talk then I was finally able to bring up Fleur.

  “I was surprised to see Fleur is staying with you,” I said.

  “Oh she’s darlin’, that one. Born too soon an’ ‘er mum taken off to heav’n just as the little ‘un come into the world. That mother of ‘ers were a bad sort, though. Camilla... An’ even the grandmother were a woman who took strange men to bed... I should not speak so of the deceased, they will come in me sleep if I don’t hush me-self.” Creeda looked sincerely worried, and I was not surprised to find she was a superstitious woman.

  “Fleur, I called ‘er fer me flowers, ‘cause that child were such a joy to hold. A quiet babe, ne’er gave me cause fer worry, that one. I sent ‘er off to Bernadine, a child has need fer ‘er own family, though I would’ve kept that dear little thing if I were given a choice in the matter. Bernadine, she were insistin’ that ‘er be taken in there so she might learn to work in the great house an’ make a wage. So I let ‘er go. She come to sit with me now an’ again, her got a love fer this place. When she come to stay a whole week I were thrilled to have ‘er.”

  “There was no father to take her in?” Li asked, and I was grateful that I wouldn’t sound like I was prying.

  “Camilla, she talked like that babe were meant to be someone important, sent from the good Lard ‘imself, she thought. That woman were known for unsavory things, and I’d hoped that child might turn ‘er from them wicked ways. Rest her soul.” She looked to the window while she spoke.

  “Oh! Ye’v not seen the back of the cottage, Miss!” She was talking to Li.

  “Yeh must go and take a turn ‘round the garden.” It was her pride and joy, after all.

  “Li, you go ahead and I’ll be out in a moment.” She nodded and left us.

  “Creeda--” I began but she interrupted me.

  “May I?” She was asking for my empty teacup which she took from me before I could hand it to her. She overturned it onto the saucer and then lifted it to look into the cup.

  “Creeda--” I began again.

  “I felt it soon as yeh stepped on the path to come to me. There’s an evil in yer life an’ it just won’t let go it’s hold. There were a chill in the wind this mornin’ an’ I couldn’t tell what. Then yeh were on me doorstep.” She slapped a hand to her chest.

  “Tis yer own free will that will keep yeh... an’ there are souls that looks after yeh. But there be also evil. Seek it out an’ be rid of it.” She dropped the tea cup then, and it shattered on the floor. I gathered up the pieces, and I was shaken by what she said. She was trying to warn me of something, but I was not sure what to make of it.

  As I picked up a large piece of the cup, she grabbed me by the wrist and looked at me with a hard expression. “Miss, them nightmares. They are the key to whate’er evil pursues yeh.” She let go.

  On our way back to the inn I told Li what Creeda had said and she scoffed at the tale. She said that the old woman certainly was entertaining, but she was mad to say such things. She was decidedly angry that Creeda had frightened me after all I was put through. I hoped she was not saying these things to Fleur, as well. That unfortunate girl had experienced enough tragedy for a lifetime.

  I thought about what Creeda said when she spoke of Camilla, thinking that Fleur would be some kind of salvation to her. Could that mean she planned to use Fleur to blackmail Uncle Charles into setting her up with a house and money? If Camilla was the type of person Creeda thought she was, and my mother seemed to see her as, then I would not put it past her.

  That night was filled with dreams of Rhineholt. The old woman with the candle was again standing before me, but she took my hand and led me over to a mirror. She pointed to my reflection. The eyes looking back at me were my mother’s. There were flames in the mirror, and I turned to see the old woman standing engulfed, her face and hands melting beneath the blaze. I tried to run but the door was locked from the outside.

  I heard German voices in the hallway in hushed conversation. I screamed for them to help me, but they continued to whisper as if they could not hear my pleas. I screamed out in English and in German for help, but no one answered me. When I turned, the old woman was nothing more than a blackened shell with white eyes speaking the chilling words that haunted me.

  “Zwei Seelen, ein Körper.”

  I snapped straight up and felt the sweat holding my night dress wet against my body. I went to the window and let a breeze cool me, and I shook from remembering the nightmare. Goose pimples rose up on my arms. What did it mean? Creeda said these horrifying dreams were the key to what haunted me, what pursued me.

  But Eckhardt was dead.

  * * *

  I received a letter from Eckhardt’s mother. It was specifically addressed for Lady Rhineholt. I was shocked when Bernadine brought it to me, as it was completely unexpected.

  “I brung it to yeh straight away. I trust it must be important with the name of that despicable character on it!” she said, and left me alone right away to read it in my room.

  “Dear Lady Rhineholt,

  I have been informed of my son’s death and I want you to know that I am sorry for all the pain he has caused you and those around you. Since the death of my husband, I have been forced to sell the family estate and nearly everything with it to appease the people he owed. I will be traveling to Devonshire to be with my own family in England, and I hope that you might let me meet with you to offer my apology and condolences.

  What my son did... it was unthinkable. There is so much you must know before you go passing judgment on this family. I take no blame for what he has done. His father was a good man who unfortunately led his son into a gambling debt. They both became obsessed, and before I knew anything, there were men coming to take away the tapestries and any gold or silver that might be left in the house.

  My apologies to you, what has befallen you at the hands of Otto cannot be expressed in a letter. Please let me come to you on the way to my own family. There are things you don’t know about your Grandmother that I feel you have a right to hear. The Eckhardts were known for paying off their illegitimate relatives to keep them quiet. It is their curse that only the illegitimate relatives are left, now.

  I hope you will write to me before I am forced to leave this place. There are only a few more weeks that I will be able to stay here, so please write soon. Again, my condolences to you.

  Sincerely,

  Cordelia Eckhardt”

  I held the letter for a long while before deciding to show it to Celia. She remembered that Mrs. Eckhardt wrote to tell us their position on their son’s behavior, but Baron Eckhardt was alive, then. Sometime over the past few months her husband must hav
e died.

  “I’m not so sure it is a good idea to meet with her,” I said.

  “She seems to be different from the rest of the Eckhardts. She is English, too. I don’t think it would be such a bad idea. Are you not curious what she has to say about your Grandmother?” Celia asked.

  “Of course I am! I just--”

  “Dear, I know that this year has brought you much sorrow. You must remember that all of that is over, now. I will sit with you when she comes and you will feel more safe.” She patted my hands, and I didn’t think I had a choice. I believe Celia was as tied up in my mother’s history as I was.

  “I will write back to her for you and invite her to spend a night with us; or if you would prefer, we might set up to go into town and meet with her in public. Perhaps at the inn?” she asked.

  “Well, if she is coming all that way, we might as well let her stay here,” I said slowly.

  “Very good, then. If it makes you more comfortable, I’m sure that Li would be glad to let you stay in her room again. I can also ask that Reginald’s man keep a watch in the hallway overnight if it will help you sleep,” she said. I nodded slowly, knowing that I could not change my mind, now.

  Li joined us for tea a moment later, and we began to talk of India. Celia had only been to Punam Estate once, just after my mother and father’s death. She spent nearly a year there with Reginald, but she was separated from Leo, who was at school, and missed him sorely, so she never went back. Reginald only travelled there once more after that, and then Julian began to take over the business in India so that Lord Hilbourne could stay with his wife.

  “Leo is still learning the business, though Julian has been practically running things on his own since he became old enough to travel by himself. He spent so much of his youth with Reginald on that Estate. Julian has always been one to want to run things, he’s sharp as a knitting needle. When he was sixteen and home for a summer from school, he had my Leo following him around like a lost dog. Leo has always looked up to him,” she said.