Words Heard In Silence / Xena Uber

by T. Novan

  "Elizabeth, you are a good friend my dear, but there are just some things beyond your help. My personal insecurities are among them."

  The two women sat in silence, each drinking their tea and ruminating on the frustrations of the day. A somber quiet filled the room, broken only when young Em came galloping into the room crying "Mamma ‘‘Becca. Mamma ‘‘Becca. See Em’s new clothes. Look, Mamma ‘‘Becca." Lizbet had made the little girl’s doll a new outfit from scraps. The two women became occupied with praising the child and her doll. The afternoon’s worries slid into the background.

  --*--

  Charlie left Lizzie’s with a light heart and vision of a loving future in his head. It was late afternoon, that hazy time between day and night. He walked back toward the Willard, past the homes and boarding houses that had grown up around the Capitol building, across the Mall that would remain pristine and green in the center of this growing city, past the small shops that had sprung up along Constitution Avenue. As he strolled, he glanced in the windows of those shops, on the odd chance that the perfect gift for Rebecca would present itself.

  Instead, he found something entirely unexpected. There in the window was a doll. A wonderful doll. A doll with green eyes and hair the color of red gold. The perfect doll for Em. He looked at the time and realized it was a bit late for most merchants. Trying the door, he was disappointed; it was locked. But that doll was perfect for little Em. And the child had so little to call her own. He tapped on the door.

  A wizen, gray haired man wearing shirt, vest, and a leather apron shuffled to the door and opened it. "I am sorry, sir, I have closed for the evening. I was just cleaning up when you knocked. Could you come back tomorrow?"

  "I do appreciate your answering my knock then, sir. I am afraid I am leaving on a train at first light tomorrow. I saw the doll in the window and it is perfect for a little girl I know. She has very little; the war has taken most of the comforts of home and family from her. Could I just purchase the doll? Please?"

  The old merchant looked at the man standing before him. A General, obviously a man of means from the quality of the material in his cloak. A man who would take the time to try and obtain a doll for a war refugee. Well, if the General could take the time, so could he. "Yes, sir, I think I can do that. Come in, and I will wrap it for you. I must confess, it is a rather expensive doll."

  "That does not matter. It is a perfect doll for little Em."

  With his pocket lighter by a ten-dollar golden eagle and his arm full of a carefully wrapped package, Charlie returned to the Willard. There he took a simple meal, and went early to bed, where he tossed for most of the night, missing Rebecca’s tender touch.

  Chapter 25

  Friday, January 6, 1865

  Early the next morning, after having booked the finest suite at the Willard for the end of January and the early part of February, Charlie took a hackney cab back to Union Station and headed home. Most of his purchases were being shipped in the express carriage of the train. The gift from Lizzie was carefully tucked in his personal bag, as was the doll for Em. The papers from the attorney and the bank, along with the three precious rings, were stowed in the inside breast pocket of his coat. At his urging, the engineer made record time returning to Culpeper.

  --*--

  Beulah entered the parlor with a smile. "Miss Rebecca?"

  "Yes?"

  "Reg just stopped by to say that General Redmond is on his way home. He should be coming down the road anytime now."

  "Wonderful!" She practically jumped from her chair, grabbing her shawl as she made her way to the front door. Pulling it open, she took her place on the porch and waited for Charlie, like a good wife-to-be should. A huge smile broke across her face and she waved at him when he came into view.

  Smiling, he threw himself off Jack's back, and tossed the reins to Reg, who had come running around the house as soon as he heard the hoof beats. "Reg, take my saddlebags up to the bedroom and make sure Jack gets special treatment. Duncan should be coming along shortly with a cart full of things for Miss Rebecca, so hurry back to help him unload." He turned to Rebecca and almost shyly said, "hello, dear one. I have missed you."

  She put her arms around his neck, her heart hammering in her ears as she kissed him on the cheek. "And I have missed you," she whispered in his ear, "and if I do not get you inside, your stock with the men will triple its value."

  "Darling, I am filthy. Every inch of my body is coated with half dust and soot from the rail bed between here and Washington."

  "Then I shall take you upstairs and wash every inch of that body." She refused to let go of his arm as they walked inside.

  Trying to contain the heat between them, at least until they could be alone, Charlie asked, "Do you know why Duncan rather than Jocko brought the cart and Jack to meet me

  "Jocko brought a sick woman in to Elizabeth last night, and then Richard sent him on an errand. I have not seen any of the three of them since." She was stroking his arm through his coat, clinging closely to his body. Charlie's heart rate went up several notches at her possessiveness and all thought of Jocko disappeared. His time with Lizzie had certainly set his hormones to running free, and now this passionate reception from Rebecca was pushing his libido higher and higher. "Come into the back parlor, dearest."

  "Of course." She smiled like the cat with the canary as they walked to the back parlor. Rebecca let Charlie go in first then she closed the doors, threw her arms around him and kissed him with all the passion she felt.

  Charlie welcomed her kiss, holding her close and tight against his body, reveling in the feel of her solid, lithe frame against his own and the heat of her lips on his. Their tongues teased and caressed one another, exploring, tasting, savoring. He broke the kiss to ease her into her chair, kneeling beside her, and lavishing caresses on her neck and shoulders.

  She moaned, allowing him to explore as she tugged on the buttons of his coat. "I missed you, Charlie." She began undoing the buttons as fast as she could.

  "Love you so." Her hands on his body, the urgency of her touch was driving him insane. "Upstairs. Now. Please," he begged.

  "Oh, yes," she managed to gasp out even as they continued to kiss, while she struggled out of the chair. It was as if they had been apart for months and not just for a few days. She had never missed someone so much in her entire life; she wanted nothing so much as to go upstairs and really make love with Charlie. Her mind considered for the briefest of moments that if it did not happen, she might die. "I want you, Charlie."

  Her words went through Charlie like lightning. He could not talk. He grabbed her hand in his and pulled her through the door. The two of them rushed up the stairs, breathless and laughing at the same time. His coat, weskit, and tie came off as they passed through the sitting room. By the time they reached the bedroom, he was standing in boots, britches and shirt. His eyes were flashing silver with his need. The chances of Rebecca's dress surviving this evening were slim.

  She reached up and began unbuttoning his shirt. "I have no intention of stopping tonight, Charlie. I have missed you so much." She leaned in and kissed him again as she unbuttoned his shirt and pulled it from his britches.

  "Wait. Wait a minute. Let me get out of these boots." He jammed his heel in the jack and yanked his foot out of the boot, then repeated the process wit the other foot. He turned back to her. "Turn around."

  She smiled and turned her back to him. Her stomach was fluttering wildly and her hands were trembling from desire and arousal. "Hurry, Charlie."

  His fingers refused to manage the small buttons that went up the back of her dress. With a muffled groan of frustration, he finally slid his hand under her dress and popped every button off the dress in a sweeping stroke.

  She laughed as his unusual method of undoing her dress. She turned around to face him and their eyes locked as she pulled the dress off her arms and then pushed it to the floor. Clad only in her chemise, she turned her back again. "I think you can manage these buttons.
They are a bit bigger."

  With a little fumbling and an uncounted number of kisses on her shoulders and lovely neck, he managed to unbutton the chemise. By the time he was finished, he was panting and the need to feel her in his arms was overwhelming. Charlie spun her and lifted her, carrying her to the bed. He laid her down and immediately covered her with his own partially clad body.

  "Oh Charlie," she moaned and arched into him. "I am yours. I will be anything you want or need me to be." She wrapped her arms around Charlie’s shoulders and pressed her body as hard against her as she could.

  Charlie's heart was pounding. "I just need you to be you, darling. My love. My heart. My home. Mine." Each word was punctuated with lavish kisses to her throat, the hollow formed by her collarbone, and the valley between her breasts. Charlie concluded by suddenly drawing her right nipple deep into her mouth.

  It was, no doubt, the long loud moan coming from Rebecca's throat and the sensation of her nails on Charlie’s shoulders that kept either of them from hearing the door to their bedroom creak open.

  "Papa?" A little voice called.

  A small voice saying "Papa" was not what Charlie expected to hear Rebecca saying. Slowly, it penetrated her befogged mind that Emily was there and was calling for her. Reluctantly, her lips released Rebecca's nipple. She did not shift her body, as it was currently the only thing covering Rebecca's nude form. She looked into Rebecca's eyes, confused, and clearly frustrated. "Emily is here," she announced, stating the obvious.

  Rebecca managed to keep from cursing in frustration as she tried valiantly to reclaim her breath. "I heard. We need to send her on her way, Charles Redmond."

  Charlie nodded agreement. Moving carefully, she pulled the covers over Rebecca's oh so tempting body as Rebecca helped re-button his shirt.

  Charlie turned to the small child. Gently, he asked, "Emily, what are you doing here? It is past your bed time, little one."

  She smiled as her little feet carried her across the room. She flung herself giggling at the bed. "Em miss Papa."

  Charlie caught the small, squirming bundle of energy and held her close. "I am here now, little one. Here, you have your hug and bed time kiss." He matched his actions to his words. "Now, Em, it is past your bedtime, so I am going to take you back to your bed. Tomorrow we will play together."

  "Papa. Em stay Papa."

  "Not tonight, little one. Tonight, Em stays in her own bed with dolly Em." He carried the small girl towards the door, on his way to depositing her in her own room and hopefully quickly tucking her into bed. Rebecca, his beautiful Rebecca, waited.

  As he stepped out of the room, he heard a long groan from the bedroom. "Hurry back, Charlie," was the whimper that followed.

  "I will, darling 'Becca." Charlie strode down the hall to Constance's room and tapped on the door. Unfortunately, Em’s room opened off Constance’s; he needed to pass through to put the child back to bed. All the while, Em clung to him like a very determined little leech.

  Constance had been dozing; the knock startled her. "Come in," she called, pulling the covers a little higher around her neck. As Charlie entered, carrying the small human remora, a look of shock registered on her face. "Em! How did you……" she stopped when she noticed the General's state of undress and the flushed look to his skin. "Oh, General, I am so sorry." She reached for the baby. "Emily, you come to Mama right now."

  "It is all right, Constance. You need not get up. I can put her back to bed." Putting words to action, he strode across the room to the half open door into Em’s room and laid the small child in her bed. He gave Em a quick hug and a kiss on the forehead. "Good night, Em. You be a good girl. Tomorrow you and I will play together for a time before supper." Charlie pried Em’s death grip from around his neck. "Good night, little one." He headed back out through Constance’s room.

  "Sorry to disturb you, Constance."

  "Of course, General, I am really very sorry she got past me. Please have a good evening."

  A small voice was heard from the other room. "Em miss Papa," she cried again, trying to get his sympathy.

  "There is nothing to be sorry for, Constance. And I appreciate your understanding."

  He called to the little girl again. "Bedtime, little one. You be good or tomorrow's play time might be tomorrow's lesson in manners time."

  "Yes, Papa. Em love."

  "Papa loves you, Em. Good night, little one. Good night, Constance."

  The brief interlude with Emily had given Charlie a chance to get a grip on his emotions, at least enough to slow down and give Rebecca the experience she deserved. He re-entered their room, with every intention of going slowly and showing Rebecca just how good their loving one another could feel.

  Rebecca had taken the time to turn down the bed properly and climb under the covers. That is where Charlie found her. Lying in bed facing the door with the sheet modestly pulled over her body. "I assume you got her to bed?"

  "I did. And how would you like to get me to bed, darling girl?"

  "I would like that." She sat up allowing the sheet to pool at her waist. "I would like that very much. Come to bed."

  Charlie just stood for a moment, entranced by the vision that Rebecca had offered him. Then slowly, he removed his own clothing, offering his transformation from male to female as a gift to her.

  Rebecca smiled and held out her hand. "Mine."

  Charlie walked to her slowly, almost dancing, soft and sensuous. The tempo of their intimacy had changed, from feverish urgency to a slower, pulsing pace that seemed to Charlie to be as true as the beat of her heart.

  Rebecca hummed in pure pleasure when Charlie settled into bed with her. This was their first total contact of skin on skin and Rebecca’s temperature skyrocketed when she felt the smoothness of Charlie's skin against her own. She wrapped her arms around the tall woman and whispered. "I love you."

  The heat of Rebecca's body against her own sent shivers of want racing through Charlie's body. "Oh, dear God. I love you, Rebecca," she breathed as she submerged her face in Rebecca's soft hair. Their bodies fit together perfectly. Very softly, Charlie began caressing Rebecca with her fingertips, exploring every inch of her shoulders, breasts, ribs and slightly rounded belly.

  Rebecca pushed closer to Charlie, taking her by the wrist, she guided her hand between their bodies and between her own legs. "Touch me, Charlie," she begged, all the while placing soft kisses to her lover's shoulder.

  The heat, the wet, the feeling of silk, and the scratch of soft curls against her fingers, flesh engorged and made dense and distended, and the constant stream of moisture from Rebecca’s center all conspired to shatter Charlie's control. Every intention of slow, tender exploration melted away, dispelled by the obvious urgency of the small frame beneath hers. "I want it to be right." She caressed Rebecca firmly. "I want to take it slow and gentle." Long fingers traced the line of those most intimate inner lips that outlined Rebecca's core. "I need you."

  "I need you, too. I want you," she husked. She took the initiative and spread her legs, allowing Charlie more room. "Love me. Please." She licked her lips before they sought out Charlie's in another smoldering kiss

  Charlie may have wanted to take it slow, but urgent need took over. She shifted, straddling one of Rebecca's thighs. Long fingers explored Rebecca gently and then more insistently. Two fingers curled and slipped inside. Charlie was home. She used long strokes to caress her love.

  Rebecca cried out in pleasure, her head went back and her body arched into Charlie. Her hands rubbed up and down her back, as her breath escaped in short bursts mixed with moans. "Oh yes." She brought her head forward and peppered Charlie's shoulder with kisses and tender nips. All the while, her hands slid over Charlie’s moist skin, gathering a light sheen of sweat. She could hear Charlie's ragged breathing and the sounds coming from her lover only increased her arousal..

  "‘Becca." Charlie chanted her lover's name like a prayer. As Rebecca arched into her, Charlie's hips and hands joined in a rhythm that b
uilt slowly and inexorably. Charlie's lips sought out Rebecca's breast and sucked that tender nipple deep into her mouth.

  Doing what felt so right and so natural, Rebecca let her hands travel to Charlie's backside where she massaged the flesh, encouraging the rhythm their bodies were finding together. "Yes." She felt a pressure building deep in her body, as her moans became almost constant, breaking only occasionally to reverently whisper, "Charlie."

  The feel of Rebecca’s hands on her body, pulling her in tighter, encouraging a firmer, deeper rhythm, drove Charlie to the edge of the precipice. Her pace increased dramatically; deeper, faster. She sobbed Rebecca's name now, her face pressed into the soft flesh of Rebecca's shoulder, suckling on tender skin, just hanging on, waiting for Rebecca to join her.

  Rebecca moaned in frustration as she felt the explosion building; she knew it would be like nothing she had ever felt before. When Charlie's touch increased and their bodies found the perfect rhythm together, she cried out as her body went taut and shuddered in release. She gasped over and over again as tremors ran through her body.

  Rebecca's first spasm clamped firm muscles around Charlie's fingers, drawing her deeper and holding her in place. Charlie joined her, tensing and bucking into her body. A flood of Charlie's passion washed over Rebecca's thigh, burning and searing her. Charlie soared, and merged with her love, buried so deep within her it felt like she held Rebecca's heart in her hand. For what seemed like eternity, she hung, suspended in a cocoon of ecstasy.

  Finally, after what seemed like forever, Rebecca's body relaxed and fell back into the mattress. She did not let go of Charlie however, and brought her with her, so her lover was lying right on top of her. She sighed her pleasure and kissed Charlie's ear. "Love you." She drew a deep breath through clenched teeth when one final tremor ran through her body. "I am so glad you are home."

  Charlie was holding most of her weight on one arm. One very shaky arm.