by J. A. Owenby
“I promise. If I need anything, even toilet paper, I’ll call your parents.”
“You’ll have my car too, in case you want to get out for a while.”
“Really?”
“Yeah, we’re carpooling to the airport. I didn’t want to leave you without a car for that long.”
“Thanks. And listen, you have to go. This is your future we’re talking about. You’ve worked too hard to let this opportunity go to waste. I’ll be okay, I promise. I think some time alone will do me good.”
“You’re sure? I have to take your word for it. I’ll be so busy I might not have a chance to call and see how you’re doing,” Emma said as she peered at me over her glasses.
“Never been more sure.”
“Okay, but you promise you’ll call Mom and Daddy if you need them?”
“Promise,” I said and attempted a smile.
“After I get back and before I start work, we should go to the lake for a day and get out of the house.”
“That sounds good.” I had no intention of going to the lake, but she didn’t need to know that.
“I’ve gotta start packing,” Emma said as she stood up.
“When do you leave?”
“Tomorrow morning.”
“Oh wow, that’s fast.”
I followed her down the hall and into her bedroom. It wasn’t that I really wanted to chat, but it was what she expected. And if I wanted to have this time alone, I had to reassure her that I’d be okay on my own.
Emma’s room was decorated in shades of blue, with a picture of Elvis hanging on one wall and a large, round clock on the other. She’d never really gotten into posters like I had. I smoothed out the deep-blue bedspread and sat next to her suitcase as she began taking clothes from her closet and dresser.
“How many of you are going?” I asked.
“Only one other student and our instructor.”
“How many students did they have to choose from?”
“I’m not sure of the exact count, but only four in the state of Arkansas were selected.”
“That’s a really big deal. And to think—a year ago, we were sitting at the student center and you were asking me to remind you why you chose nursing.”
Emma stopped packing and stared at me. Her face grew serious.
“Do you miss those days?” she asked.
“The ones at college together or the ones when Mama was crazy and drugged me?”
“Geez, do you have to be so rude?” She paused. “Crap. Lacey, I’m sorry. You’re just so different. I don’t know what to do to help you get back to normal.”
My back stiffened at her comment.
“Emma, I’ll never be normal again. I’ll never be the same Lacey you knew. When you’re drugged by your mother and held against your will, when your hands and feet are taped together and you’re kicked in the stomach by your boyfriend until you’re lying in a puddle of blood . . . when you’re left to die as the house you live in burns, there is no normal after that. You need to accept that I will never be the same person you used to know.”
Emma gasped as my sharp words sunk in.
I stood up and walked to her bedroom door.
“Have a good trip,” I said as I walked across the hall. I slammed my bedroom door behind me.
Chapter 6
I heard Emma get up the next morning, but I didn’t. I lay in bed until I heard the front door shut. No pretending, for anyone, for a week. I wasn’t sure what that would even feel like. I’d been acting like people had wanted me to for years. First Mama, then Xander.
I walked around in my long T-shirt and made some coffee. I grabbed the meatloaf and heated up a piece for breakfast. I didn’t have an appetite, but I knew I should eat something.
Noon rolled around, and the sunlight warmed the living room. I glared at it and shut the curtains. I figured it was late enough, and I walked to my bathroom, opened the cabinet, and dug the paper bag out. I rinsed my cup and filled it halfway with rum, topping it off with Pepsi. I took a drink and carried the bag to my dresser. I’d need to make another trip to the liquor store today. I rolled my eyes as I thought about the rude cashier. I’d be sure to brush my hair this time, which meant I could leave my hat here.
I wondered how many bottles I could carry home at once. I didn’t want to have to make multiple trips, and no way would I drive Emma’s car after drinking. I stared at the amount left in the bottle and topped off what was in my glass.
An hour later, I closed the apartment door behind me and stumbled down the stairs. I located the trash bin and tossed the empty rum bottle into it. I took a deep breath and adjusted my sunglasses. It took less to get me drunk these days. I wasn’t sure why, unless it was the weight loss or the fact that I didn’t eat much. At least it was cheaper this way.
I’m not sure how I made it to the liquor store, but I suspected it wasn’t in a straight line. I opened the door of the store and glanced at the cashier. I smiled. My buddy wasn’t there today.
I grabbed my bottles of rum and Pepsi and paid for the items. I shifted the bag from one side to the other. It was heavier than I’d expected. I pushed against the door and stepped out onto the sidewalk. I peered over the bag, stepping off the curb and into the parking lot. Tires screeched as a body slammed me backward, onto the pavement.
“Hey! Watch where you’re going, lady!”
I glanced up from the ground to see a man shaking his fist at me from a car window. What the hell had just happened?
“Are you okay?” came another male voice.
“Uh, yeah. Where’s my bag?” I asked as I sat up slowly.
“It’s next to you,” the voice said.
My vision blurred as I squinted and attempted to see his face. I finally focused on his short, light-brown hair and hazel eyes.
He kneeled down and slipped my sunglasses off. “You stepped right in front of that car. Thank God he was going so slow. You could’ve been really hurt.”
“And you came rushing to my safety?” I asked, slurring my words. I eyed his clothes. “Wait, are you wearing your pajamas?”
He chuckled as he helped me up and grabbed my bag. “I’m Jared. I teach at the karate dojo next door to the liquor store.”
“Oh. Well I’m glad the guy who saved me wasn’t running around in his pajamas. That might make for a good story, though.”
Jared smiled. “At least you’re a happy drunk.”
“Don’t think happy describes me, but I’ll take it.”
What’s your name?” Jared asked as he led me to the safety of the sidewalk.
“Hmmm, I’m not supposed to talk to strangers,” I said, wagging my finger at him as I leaned against the side of the liquor store and tried to regain my balance.
“I’m not a stranger. I just saved your life.”
“Yeah, what the hell is up with that shit? That’s twice now. Twice, in like, a month.”
“I’m sorry?”
“Nothing.” I slid down the wall and sat down.
“Do you live around here?”
“Yeah, over there,” I pointed.
“Do you live in a house? Apartment?”
“Yup.” I reached for my bag.
“Let’s hold off on that for a few minutes until I can figure out how to get you home safely,” he said and moved the bag away from me.
“Yeah, that sounds good. I think I’d like to go home now,” I said as I squinted up at him.
“Okay. I can take you there. What’s your name?”
“Lacey,” I said as I tried to focus on his face again. “You said your name is Ryan?”
“Jared. I’m Jared.”
“Well, Jared. It’s been nice talking to you, but I need to get home now. I don’t really like to be in public anymore since the fire.”
“What? You were in a fire?” Jared asked as he tilted his head.
“Who was in a fire?” I asked and attempted to stand up.
Jared helped me up, and I stood still for a moment as
I gained my balance.
“Where’s home, Lacey?”
“The apartments over there.” I pointed.
“Okay, so you’re really close. Hang on just a minute,” he said as he propped me up against the wall. I heard the tinkle of a bell as he stepped into a building and disappeared. I held on to the wall and managed to pick up my bag. I peered inside, but nothing seemed broken. I would’ve been pissed if that stupid driver had ruined my rum.
Jared reappeared and smiled. “Hang on to me,” he said as he guided my hand through his arm. “Don’t let go.”
I walked with Jared to his car. He unlocked it and opened the passenger door for me.
"No."
"No?" he asked.
"I'm not getting in your car. Didn't you go to kindergarten the day they taught us about stranger danger?"
Jared frowned, but closed the car door.
"Okay, but you're really drunk and you have to cross a busy intersection. Please, let me at least walk with you."
I bit my lip and tried to think through the fog of my alcohol-muddled brain.
I stepped around him and teetered as I attempted to step onto the sidewalk.
"I'm fine."
I walked away from him, but he fell into step next to me. He gently grabbed my arm and raised his hand as he halted the oncoming traffic. A horn honked at us as we slowly crossed the street.
“Come on,” he said as he guided me into the apartment parking lot.
“Thank you, but this as far as you go,” I said.
"Are you sure you won't let me walk you to your door?"
"Yup."
“Is anyone home with you?”
“I have a roommate.”
“Good. You probably shouldn’t be alone.”
“Yeah. So, thanks, Ryan. It was nice meeting you, I guess?”
“Jared. And you’re welcome.”
I left him alone as I turned away and staggered across the parking lot.
I entered the apartment and set my bag on the kitchen table. I sighed as I opened the cabinet and grabbed a clean glass. I made myself a new drink and opened the fridge. I grabbed a bottled water and took a long swallow.
I stumbled to the couch, turned on the TV, and curled up on the sofa. I didn’t remember anything else until I woke up the next day.
* * *
“Shit!” I said as I rubbed my face. I either had to stop drinking entirely or drink more water. Hangovers were a bitch. I held my head in my hands and placed my feet on the floor. I wondered what day it was. I glanced at Emma’s wall clock as it struck 11 a.m.
I stood up, grabbed the newspaper off the front porch, and checked the date. I’d slept until eleven the next day. I wasn’t sure if that was a good thing or not. I needed the sleep, but it wasn’t like I felt safe enough to close my eyes without the help of my best friend, rum.
Oh God, what was that smell? Was it the trash? I peeked at the trash, but it was empty. Emma must have emptied it the day she left. I chewed my bottom lip until I realized it was me. I frowned and made a beeline straight for the shower.
Chapter 7
I wanted the week to pass slowly, but it had other plans. Saturday had already arrived. Emma was due back home tomorrow afternoon.
I’d spent the majority of my days in and out of consciousness. When I wasn’t passed out, I ate a little bit, but after the second day, I didn’t even bother showering. I vaguely remembered meeting some guy at the liquor store, but I wasn’t sure if I’d dreamed it. I could’ve sworn he was wearing his pajamas.
I sobered up long enough to make another trip to the store. I needed to stock up before Emma got home. This time, I managed to not step in front of any moving cars.
I lugged the bags of rum and soda back to the apartment and made a new home for my stash in the corner of my closet. I tossed dirty clothes on top of the bags, then stared at the pile and realized I hadn’t done any laundry in over a week—I was out of anything clean to wear. I shrugged my shoulders and staggered to the living room. I enjoyed watching TV when I wasn’t passed out. I liked this living arrangement much better. Emma should stay gone.
I squinted at the clock and counted the hours on my fingers. I groaned as I snuggled into the corner of the sofa. I only had fourteen hours left without someone nagging me. I didn’t even care what her intentions were anymore. I just wanted to be left alone.
I unscrewed the lid of the rum bottle and took a drink, shuddering as the alcohol slid down the back of my throat. The shit tasted nasty, but I didn’t want to sober up until I had to. I sighed as a thought tickled my foggy brain. I should get my own place.
I’d never lived by myself, and the freedom to do what I wanted was a huge motivating factor. I had furniture, and I could pick up a TV at Wal-Mart. I mulled it over and finally decided it was what I wanted. Then I realized no one would rent to me if I didn’t have a job. My heart dropped at the thought of being around other people again. I wasn’t ready.
I swore under my breath. My plan wouldn’t work right now, but I’d keep it in my back pocket for later.
* * *
I woke up around three in the afternoon on Sunday, grabbed my bottle, and stumbled to my bedroom. I pulled the blankets off my bed and huddled in the corner, tipping the bottle up and taking a drink as I tried to focus. I shut my eyes, opened them, and tried again, but there were still two dressers in my room.
I squinted at the bright sunlight and swirled the rum around in the bottle. I searched for my glass but didn’t see it, so I just drained the remainder of the bottle. I sighed as my head rolled against the wall and I floated into oblivion once more.
* * *
“What the—shit!” I threw the blankets off and scrambled out of bed. “What the fuck?” I screamed.
“Lacey Anne! Watch your mouth,” Emma said as she ran into my bedroom.
My knees threatened to give out as I stared at the man in my bed. My gaze was returned by tired, bright-blue eyes.
“What is this?” I yelled.
“Calm down and I’ll explain. Besides, you’re in hot water, so you’re not in any position to make demands,” Emma said.
“Emma, for God’s sake, I have a right to know why Walker is in my bed and why I’m in a T-shirt, panties, and nothing else.”
I glared at Walker as he sat up and leaned his back against my bedroom wall.
“I’ve got this Emma,” he said as he ran his hand through his rumpled hair.
“Are you sure?”
“Yeah.”
“Behave, Lacey,” she said, pointing at me as she left the room.
“What the hell is this?” I asked, my voice gaining an octave.
“Before you continue with your attitude, you should know you scared the shit out of Emma and me. She came home, and you were passed out in your own vomit. She couldn’t wake you up. She even smacked you in the face a few times. After she checked your vitals and realized you were passed out from drinking, she called me. I rushed over as fast as I could, but I couldn’t wake you up either. You were probably on the edge of alcohol poisoning. And my God, you smelled bad,” Walker said as his eyebrows pinched together.
“Seriously?” I asked, my hands resting on my hips.
“Yeah, it was bad. I put you in a warm shower, clothes and all.”
“You what? If I was passed out, I couldn’t stand in the shower. Try again,” I said and crossed my arms over my chest defiantly.
“You’re right. You couldn’t even stand. I held you so you wouldn’t fall. You never fully regained consciousness, even with water in your face. You muttered a few things, but that was it. I couldn’t make anything out.”
“So, you’re telling me that I was passed out, Emma was scared, and you rushed to my rescue once again?”
“Well, that sounds a lot nicer than how it really happened,” Walker said as he ran his hands up and down his face.
“Shit,” I said, my forehead creased in frustration. I didn’t remember any of it. Nothing. I reached up and ran my
hands through my damp hair. “You washed my hair?”
“I tried. It wasn’t easy. I finally just sat down with you in the tub.”
I shook my head in disbelief.
“There’s no way I was that drunk. I’ve never passed out like that before. You’re lying.”
“I wish I was, Lacey. You were in bad shape. We almost took you to the hospital. That’s why Emma called me instead. She knew I was strong enough to get you in the shower and cleaned up. She changed your clothes, and I stayed up and watched you most of the night. I guess I dozed off right before you woke up.”
“Night? I remember coming to the bedroom around three, I think. Wait, what day is it?”
“Monday.”
“What time did you come over?”
“Around eight last night. Emma called me right after she found you.”
“I slept all day and through the night?”
“From what I could tell,” Walker said. “You should put some shorts on and eat. I’ll make you something.”
I stared at him as he slid out of my bed fully clothed.
“So, you just waltz right in and tell me what to do now?”
“Pretty much.”
“Absolutely not. I told you to never come back,” I said, my voice thick with anger.
“You’ll get over it.”
I bit my lip. He wasn’t playing.
He stood up and stretched as I looked for some shorts. I backed up a few steps, scanning the few remaining items that were left on my closet floor.
“Where are my clothes?”
“They’re in the washing machine. Emma cleaned out your closet and started your laundry. I guess you left the door open. She said it looked like a liquor store in there.”
A flush crept up the front of my neck and across my cheeks. She found my stash. Dammit.
“I can tell by the expression on your face that you’re wondering if she poured your rum out. She did.”
“What the hell is wrong with you people? She had no right!” I said and stomped my foot on the floor.
“Really?” Walker asked as his eyebrow rose. I could have sworn I saw a small smile pull at the corner of his mouth “If you’re not in the kitchen in five minutes to eat, I’m coming in with food and I’ll feed you myself.”