He sucked in a tortured breath and stood silently, obviously waiting for me to reply. His right hand tapped his thigh steadily, an impatient rhythm that let me know he was very keen to hear my answer.
I had no idea what to say. He'd laid it all out there. Bared himself quite unexpectedly and totally. It was all a little too much, truth be told.
But I wasn't bamboozled enough not realise what he was doing. Not to realise he was jeopardising his job for me. For us.
I stood up slowly from the swing and took one step closer to him. Tension hung on the air between us, but surprisingly it wasn't awkward. It was alive, like electricity. Pulsing, beating, constantly pulling, drawing me closer.
I couldn't deny it. I couldn't dissect it, make sense of it. But there was something about this man that drew me in. Set my blood pumping, my body tingling. He'd barely touched me. We'd not been remotely intimate. It made absolutely no sense.
But I wanted him.
And for a moment, I stood there and tried to work out why. Yes, he was good looking, in that bad boy goatee wearing, intense brown eyed way. But just as he'd said my beauty was on the inside, as well as the out, what attracted me to Ryan Pierce was on the inside too.
His morals, his code of ethics, his strength of character, his right-side-of-the-law style. That was the Ryan Pierce my heart leapt for. That was the man that made me want to reach across the space between us and test that electricity that hummed. To touch. To be more intimate. To push what existed between us to the limits, and then push some more.
I'd never felt this way before. And I'm ashamed to say, I'd never felt this way for Rick either.
But Rick had never been like Ryan on the inside. Hadn't even come close.
I took the last step that brought me within touching distance, right beneath his chin, practically against his chest. If we were being watched, I didn't care. I had to hope that ASI were the only ones monitoring and that any indiscretions on Ryan's part would not make it back to his bosses. But I had to do this. I had to finally touch.
It had always been him who reached out. The brush of his hand in the dip of my lower spine. A finger sweep across my cheek, tucking a piece of hair behind my ears. His large palm in mine. I'd never reached for him. Not once.
But I did now.
My hand came up and cupped his cheek, felt the bristle of his beard against tender skin. My finger traced the edge of his jaw, noting it was quite square and masculine. I hadn't picked that up, the goatee had hidden it. My thumb ran along his bottom lip, taking in the fullness, the smoothness, the heat. While my eyes devoured every inch of his face. His high cheek bones, his V shaped eyebrows as he slightly frowned. The flare of his nostrils with each stroke of my finger and thumb. The heavy lidded eyes, that seemed to glow from chestnut, to chocolate, to dark, rich espresso.
I licked my lips and a soft groan emitted from between his teeth.
"What are you doing?" he husked.
"Trusting you," I replied, my voice soft, but with a sexy edge of roughness I never knew it could posses.
"Marie," he warned, my finger came up and pressed against his lips to get him to stop.
"Ryan," I shot back with a smirk at the surprise in his widening eyes. I'd never called him by his given name, only ever by his surname to his face.
"Well?" he challenged against my finger, the movement sending a thrill right through my centre to parts hidden below.
"I'm going to kiss you," I advised confidently. His mouth tipped up into a smile. "But just one thing," I whispered, leaning closer, letting my hot breath replace my finger on his lips.
He licked them.
"Don't you dare change because of me."
He sucked in a breath and pulled back slightly, but my hand snaked up and wrapped around his neck, bringing him back.
"I like you just the way you are," I added, my lips pressing softly into his, just once. Just a peck, a taste of what was to come. "Inside and out."
He groaned, wrapped his arms around me, pulled me hard against his chest, his groin, his thighs, and then commandeered my kiss completely, and made it his own.
I liked that too. But I don't think I needed to tell him... he could already tell.
Chapter 14
Just About Beautiful, Multifaceted, All Encompassing, Sometimes Challenging... Love.
Everything else ceased to exist, but Ryan's lips on mine. A firm press, a slanting stroke of smooth flesh, the lick of his tongue along the bottom edge of my mouth. The encouraging nibble of his lips on the corner. His hot breath, mingling with my hotter breath. The sounds he was making; masculine, throaty, needy. The bristle of his goatee against my chin, cheek, upper lip. Rather than distract, it seemed to heighten my senses, making me want more of that feeling everywhere.
I gasped when his teeth pulled on my bottom lip, nipping a bit more firmly than I had expected. Every touch was more forceful than I had expected. Pierce had been controlled, certain in his actions and behaviour, well contained. But what he showed me now was someone else. Someone who allowed himself that hunger, who entertained it, explored it. Owned it.
And it matched mine.
I'd had dates over the past few years, nothing serious, nothing long term. The occasional liaison that led to more, but not one of them had made me crave. Had made me lose all sense of time and place. Had made the world disappear and only the next kiss, touch, sensation... matter. We were standing in the centre of a backyard next to a house full of people, with more people walking the perimeter fence, yet I didn't care. And what was more appealing, neither did Ryan.
With every groan, every fervent press of his lips to mine, every hungry sweep of his tongue inside my mouth, he let me know how much he wanted me, how much he'd wanted me all along.
For the first few moments it was just our lips engaged, our tongues entwined, our breaths mingled. I had a hand wrapped around the back of his neck, and one pressed to his hard, heaving chest. He had his arms snaked around my waist, one hand firmly placed on my butt cheek over my jeans, the other moulded to the curve of my hip. But the only part of us to dance were our lips, everything else was forgotten; there but not there.
Until he slipped his hot palm inside my jeans, skin to skin, cupping my butt intimately, while his other hand brushed purposefully against the underside of my breast through my t-shirt.
My legs buckled. A ridiculous reaction to have to such a simple, but decidedly suggestive move. His fingers kneaded my butt, while his free hand slipped under my t-shirt, not waiting for an invitation, but seeking entrance on his terms. He pulled me firmly against his groin, let me know exactly what effect the kiss had over him, let me feel the rigid length of his arousal. I swear with every slow rock of his hips I became wetter and wetter still.
Then with a smooth flick of his fingers his hand found my naked breast. A small whimper left my lips and he responded with a rock of his hips and a low growl from the back of his throat. He pinched the nipple, swept his thumb over the sensitised tip, then placed his entire hot palm over my breast and squeezed.
Every single move he made was determined. In charge. Hungry and eager, but utterly controlled. He slowed the kiss down when my legs became numb. He sped it up when my fingers began their own quest over velvet flesh. He deepened it when he wanted to hear my reaction. And he alternated between all three, again and again, until I couldn't tell what was up, or what was down. Or where the hell I was anymore.
I'm not sure how much time passed, but the sound of a car pulling into the driveway broke through the haze of lust we were in, and gave, at least, Ryan the impetus to pull back. We were both panting, flushed, our eyes liquid pools of desire.
He pressed his forehead to mine and whispered, "Fuck."
I concurred, but couldn't find my voice. I was achy, but not the achy of having just had a bad car accident. I was needy and unfulfilled, desperate to assuage the fire that he'd just lit inside. His gaze flicked over my face and he smiled. One of those male cocky smiles. The one that lets you k
now exactly what they're thinking; Yeah, I did that. I put that look on your face, baby.
A long burst of air pressed out of my lips and he chuckled.
A car door slammed, but still he didn't turn around to see who had arrived. His eyes remained on my face, his attention - or so it seemed - locked on me and nowhere else.
"This isn't over," he promised. Hell, no it wasn't. "Tonight you and I are going to sort a few things out," he added, and all I could do was nod my head.
Another smirk.
I thought it time to slip into my alter ego, the one that shields. Not that I felt an overriding amount of need to shield myself from Ryan just then. But I sure as hell did feel the need to find stable ground. Confidence, or the illusion of it, allowed me to steady my feet.
"Shouldn't we see who just arrived?" I asked, pulling back slightly, trying to gain a little distance. A little breathing space to find my balance.
Pierce obviously decided he wanted me to remain off kilter, because with one forceful tug of his arms around my waist, he hauled me back against his chest.
"Jaguar XJ. 5 litre, V8, supercharged petrol engine. Goes from zero to one hundred in 5.2 seconds flat. Top speed of 250km/h, limited. This one will be silver and driven by Gen's man, Dominic Anscombe," Pierce announced, rattling off the now silent car's specifications without even blinking.
"Oh," I managed, just as a deep, highly amused masculine voice said, "Is this a private party, or can anyone join in?"
"Dom," Pierce muttered, eyes still on me. Then louder, "Private. Fuck off!"
The man, Dom, coughed, possibly a laugh, and then we heard his shoes tap up the deck steps as he headed for the back door to the house.
"The mood's kind of been ruined now," I pointed out.
Pierce pulled me closer, leaned in and kissed the sensitive skin beneath my ear and whispered sexily, "I'll always be in the mood to kiss you, Tiger, if you respond to my lips like that."
A shudder ran through me, making Pierce chuckle again.
"Fuck have we been wasting time," he murmured, nuzzling his nose into my hair at the side of my head. "Tonight," he promised again, and pulled back finally to look at me.
His hand ran down the side of my arm, then slipped, fingers interlacing, into mine. For a frozen second he looked right into me, right through my shields, right into my heart.
And he looked... sad. So not what I would have expected when he caught a glimpse inside my soul.
I stared back at him, unsure how to take his look right now, his reaction to seeing the real me. I had no idea what it meant, and for a long moment he said nothing.
Then, "Dom's arrival is fortuitous," he announced. I raised my eyebrows in query. "He's a lawyer," he added, and the world turned a little dark. As if clouds had blotted out the sun, stealing its heat, blanketing me in frigid air.
"A lawyer," I whispered, my voice sounding a little broken on that word.
"Marie," Pierce started, but I pulled my hand free of his and shook my head.
"You think I need a lawyer."
His fingers came up and cupped my cheek tenderly. When I went to take a step backwards, to free myself from his gentle touch, he followed. Matched me step for step, until my back pressed against the bark of the Cherry Tree. We stood under its heavily laden boughs, the scent of the cherry blossoms surrounding us, and stared at each other. His thumb stroking my jaw, then down my neck and back up again, as his palm held my cheek.
"Do you want to do this? he asked and I frowned in confusion. "Go after McLaren and every one of the pieces of shit he has dealt with over the decade before Rick's death?"
I sucked in a breath of air at his firm words. Pierce didn't sugar-coat things. He never called 'that night' anything other than what it was; Rick's murder, Rick's death, the night Rick was killed. He said Rick's name as though Rick had a right to be remembered. He never denied me the right to remember my husband either.
At one time I would have wanted that connection. Right now a little distance from my criminal husband wouldn't have gone astray. But Pierce was correct in this. Breaking it down to what it was. Going after McLaren and every one of the pieces of shit he has dealt with over the decade before Rick's death. I needed to focus on that. Not the burgeoning feelings I had for the man before me. Oh, I was sure we'd investigate what we felt for each other further, the desire to do so was too great, and the knowledge that life was indeed short made that hunger more urgent.
But, there was more to be thinking of than our lust. There was Daisy. And Ben and Abi. Adam, Eva and Nick. Even Genevieve and the Jaguar driving Dominic. They were all connected, all here because I was here. And I was here because I stole a ledger from Roan McLaren, with the express intention of bringing the drug lord to his knees.
I'd failed all those years ago and the risk hadn't diminished since, only grown. There were simply more innocents to protect now, than just Daisy and myself.
I'd made the decision when Pierce had walked out to me on the swing, right here under the Cherry Tree. I'd made that god-awful decision, knowing the consequences, and being unable to turn my back on them. I wanted to run. I wanted to grab my daughter, hold her close, and run like the wind.
But would it ever be enough? Could I keep her safe forever?
I stared into the steady, deep espresso coloured eyes before me, saw the concern etched on Ryan's face. Saw his need to protect me and my daughter. Saw his hunger, his desire for me. He didn't hide it, just like he didn't hide the fact that I needed to consider all outcomes of my decision.
Including what handing over that ledger would mean legally.
I supposed most cops wouldn't be so quick to point this out to a potential witness with a goldmine of information that could nail their perp to the wall. But Ryan Pierce was not like most cops.
"Marie?" he said, after too long a time had passed. "What's it going to be? Your choice. Whatever you decide I'll back. Babe, I will put myself out there to make you safe. No matter what."
The surety of his words, the staunch set of his back and shoulders, the determined and committed look on his gorgeous face. It all told me one thing.
Ryan Pierce would sacrifice his world as he knew it, even his life, for me. For me and my daughter. The realisation made me sway on my feet. Pierce saw the movement and swept in closer to wrap an arm around my frame and hold me up. Always offering that support. Always keen to touch and hold. To keep me safe.
From the day he walked into my office, even though neither of us realised it at the time, Pierce had been trying to keep me safe. Despite his job. Despite the justice he sought for those who'd been harmed by McLaren. Despite the fact he hadn't quite realised just how entrenched in that filthy world I'd actually been.
"I want to do this," I said, sounding out each word as it left my lips. Tasting the truth on them. Feeling the increase in my heartbeat as each progressively dangerous syllable spilled over my tongue.
The consequences of my actions were enormous. A picture of my daughter's face kept flashing in my mind, superimposed with Rick's blank stare, McLaren's evil grin, and those friendly, accepting smiles of the people congregating inside the house on this backyard.
"Are you sure?" Pierce asked, holding me tightly, letting me know through his touch that he was right there.
I nodded. I was sure. Maybe this time it would work. I couldn't save Rick. He was well and truly gone now, in more ways than one. But I might just be able to save us and our friends, and anyone else who crossed McLaren and didn't deserve to.
Pierce's fingers stroked softly over my cheeks, across my jaw, then both hands cupped behind my ears, holding my face tipped up to his.
"You are so beautiful," he whispered, reverently. "Inside and out."
I swallowed past a thick throat, but had not a single word to offer in reply.
"Let's go corner Dominic," Pierce suggested. "I want you protected in every possible way throughout."
I blinked back tears as they threatened to drown me, and felt Ryan's th
umbs caress each escapee away from beneath my eyes.
"Shhh, Tiger," he murmured softly. "I'm not letting anything happen to you or Daisy. OK?"
I shook my head, but offered a small smile. "You've got to stop saying such nice things," I said in a scratchy voice.
"But I'm a nice guy," he shot back with a sexy smirk and a wink, making my tremulous smile widen. "Come on," he encouraged, slipping his fingers between mine again and tugging me towards the deck at the rear of the house.
We walked in the back door and everyone in the kitchen immediately hushed. I realised, rather belatedly, that the large picture window above the sink and bench, directly opposite the dining table that was crowded with over half a dozen people, had an uninterrupted view of the backyard. Right up to the Cherry Tree and swing beneath.
I glanced at the table of people, flicked my gaze back to the window. Then back to the table again. Then the window. Everyone's eyes tracked my head move.
Kelly and Gen sniggered openly. Adam let out a wolf-whistle. Ben gave a chuckle and pulled Abi closer with a tug of his arm about her shoulder. And the two men left; one of which was a dark haired guy who'd been in on the previous conversation before I stormed off - I was going with him being Nick from ASI - and the other was a well dressed, suit wearing one - had to be lawyer Dominic - both offered knowing smiles and nods of their heads to Pierce. As though they were high five-ing him.
I let a little groan out and felt heat at my back as an arm snaked around my front, pulling me into the comfort and support of Ryan's body.
"So," Pierce said from over my shoulder. "This is Marie. She's with me, in case you didn't get that memo."
I blinked, turned my head to glare at Pierce. Did men actually say that sort of thing? And received a stunning smile in return, then a quick peck of his lips against my own.
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