Beautiful Burn (Maddox Brothers #4)

by Jamie McGuire

  Sterling quickly followed, and Tyler hooked his arm around my shoulder, kissing my hair. “Baby, I’m so sorry.”

  I closed my eyes, feeling the streaks of mascara drying on my face. “It’s your birthday, baby,” I said. I took someone’s cup and slammed back the contents. “Let’s party.”

  When my eyes peeled open, all I could see were mounds of unfamiliar comforter. I blinked a few times to focus, seeing a frame on the nightstand of Taylor and Falyn.

  I sat up, trying to swallow, but feeling like there were pine needles in my throat. I was lying in the middle of Taylor’s bed, alone. I walked down the hall to the bathroom, stopping when I heard the shower, and then continued to the living room, not recognizing anyone else still passed out and draped over pieces of furniture.

  “Tyler?” I called, looking around. I stumbled into the kitchen to get a glass of water. The instant the cool liquid touched my throat, I felt a second of relief before vomiting violently into the sink. Just when I thought it was over, my stomach heaved again, and then again, splashing a mixture of beer, wine, and possibly tequila all over the dishes and trash that had been left in the stainless steel basin.

  I turned on the water, rinsing out my mess and throwing away the trash. I started the dishwasher and then plodded down the hall toward the bedroom.

  “Tyler?” I said, pushing open the door.

  Tyler lifted his head, rubbing his eyes. “Hey, Ellie.” He blinked a few times, trying to focus on my expression. “What’s wrong?”

  “Morning,” Finley said next to him.

  Tyler nearly leapt out of the bed, but then scrambled for sheets to cover himself. Finley casually stood in her perfect form and stepped into her dress, zipping it up and grabbing her heels.

  “What the fuck?” Tyler yelped, looking mortified and confused.

  “I so deserved this,” I said, my voice breaking.

  Tyler shook his head, touching his palm to his forehead, trying to remember what had happened. “No. You … you were drunk and went into the wrong bedroom. We just left you there so you could sleep, Ellie. I did not fuck your sister. Where’s Falyn?”

  I shrugged. “Why would I know where Falyn is?”

  “I swear to God, Ellie,” he begged. He pointed to Finley. “Nothing happened! I have no idea why she was in the bed naked.”

  Finley winked at Tyler and then stopped next to me in the doorway. “How does it feel?”

  I let out a faltering breath, feeling my eyes burn with tears. “Like death.”

  “Then we’re even. Marco is waiting for us outside. He’ll give you a ride home.”

  She shouldered past me, and I looked up at Tyler. He dropped the sheets, furiously looking for his clothes. “Don’t leave. Ellie,” he warned. “Don’t you fucking leave with her. We need to figure this out.”

  “I deserved this,” I said, my face crumbling. “But you didn’t. I’m so sorry you were mixed up in this … in my fucked up universe. I really did think…” I blew out a slow breath, trying not to sob. “It doesn’t matter.”

  Tyler found his boxer briefs and yanked them on. “Ellie, wait.”

  I turned on my heels, rushing down the hall and pushing out the door. As promised, Marco was waiting for me in a rented Lexus with my sister looking freshly fucked and content in the passenger seat. I slid into the back, and Marco pulled away just as Tyler burst through the door with just a towel wrapped around his waist.

  “Don’t stop,” I said, hearing Tyler scream my name until we turned the corner a block away.

  “You might as well turn off your phone until you can change your number,” Finley said. “That’s what I had to do with Sterling. Are you going to your apartment, or the chateau?”

  “My apartment,” I snapped, staring out the window.

  My phone buzzed, and I scrambled to turn it off.

  “Told you so,” Finley said. She sniffed her hair and made a noise, disgusted. “Agh, I still smell like him.”

  “Shut the fuck up, Fin. Just shut up.”

  Marco drove me to the MountainEar. By the time I climbed the stairs, put on a T-shirt and sweatpants, and washed my face and brushed my teeth, Tyler’s truck had slid into a parking spot, and he was banging on the back door.

  I looked down at him from my window. He was wearing just a T-shirt and jeans, his boots on but untied. I could see his breath puffing out in white clouds, and he rubbed his hands together between knocks.

  “Ellie!” he yelled. “I’m not fucking leaving. Open the door!”

  I unlatched the window and pushed it up without effort, leaning on the windowsill as I peered down at Tyler. “I’m not mad.”

  He looked up at me. “Then let me come up.”

  “Go home, Tyler.”

  He held out his hands. “It’s fucking freezing out here.”

  “Then get in your truck and go home.”

  “I didn’t fuck your sister! I was in the shower this morning. You stumbled to Taylor’s room, so I slept in there with you. I held you in my arms all fucking night. Taylor must have slept in my room and your psychotic sister must have crawled in bed with him, thinking it was me. You caught Finley with Taylor!”

  I frowned, knowing I could tell them apart by now, but I had just woken up and was upset. Maybe…

  “Just let me come up. Please? I’m gonna start losing fingers soon.”

  “You’re going to let Taylor take the fall for you? This is beyond fooling your teachers in school, don’t you think?”

  “I swear to God. Just let me come up so I can explain. We’ll call Taylor if you want.”

  “He would lie for you.”

  “Ellie, please? It’s my birthday.” His dimple appeared, but I stayed strong.

  “Then go find your brother and celebrate it.”

  He shook his head, smiling. “I want to spend it with you. Even if that means I spend the day trying to figure out what the hell happened last night.”

  “It’s two degrees, Tyler.”

  “Then let me in,” he said, his smile fading. “I can’t leave. It’ll ruin my whole day.”

  “I think you ruined your day when you slept with my sister!”

  “I didn’t sleep with your sister! Goddammit!” he yelled, kicking the door.

  “Stop! Wick will kick me out!”

  Tyler perched his hands on his hips, breathing hard. He shook his head, and then looked up. “Open this door, Ellie, or I’ll kick it in, I swear to God.”

  “You’re a bastard,” I said.

  He held out his hands. “And your sister’s a bitch.”

  I closed the window and stomped downstairs, twisting the bolt lock and opening the door. Tyler passed me, jogging up to the apartment. By the time I walked into the living room, he was shivering on my sofa, wrapped in the comforter off my bed.

  I rolled my eyes and turned on the Keurig.

  “I almost got hypothermia over this,” he said.

  “You should have dressed warmly,” I snapped.

  “I didn’t have much time, considering my brother busts into the bathroom to tell me a half-ass version of the story, and I had to run after you in a towel down the block and then back. I grabbed the first clothes I saw, put them on, and ran out the door. The only woman I touched last night was you. You have to believe me.”

  “I’m making you a cup of coffee, and then you’re leaving.”

  Tyler stood. “C’mon! You know this isn’t right! Think about it!”

  I let my hands fall to my thighs. “So what? My sister came back and deduced it was your room because of our pictures on the wall, undressed, and climbed into bed with a sleeping, naked Taylor?”

  “Maybe! I have no idea, but that’s more likely than me mistaking her for you.”

  I stood tall. “Finley wouldn’t do that.”

  “Oh, but she’d revenge fuck your boyfriend?”

  My face twisted into disgust.

  The Keurig beeped, and I placed a mug under the spout and a K-cup in the holder, pressing t
he BREW button. I opened the fridge, grabbing a beer and Tyler’s favorite hazelnut creamer.

  I handed him the mug, cracking open my beer. “I didn’t stir it,” I snapped.

  “Goddamn,” he said, offended. “I thought you said you weren’t mad.”

  I glowered at him while he sipped the coffee with a tiny grin on his face. “There is nothing funny about this!”

  He laughed once in disbelief. “I would never do that to you. Thank God your sister can’t tell us apart, but I’m a little concerned that you can’t either.”

  I crossed my arms. “I’d just woken up and walked in on you and my sister. I might not have been seeing clearly.”

  “So you believe me.”

  “Stop talking.”

  “You gotta know that. I carried you to bed. You were wasted. I wouldn’t have left you. The only thing I can’t figure out is where Falyn was.”

  His phone rang, and he answered. “Did you find her?” He nodded, looking at me. “Putting you on speaker.”

  “Ellie?” Taylor said as Tyler held out the phone. “Falyn went to the store to get a few things for a birthday breakfast. She let Finley in. She doesn’t know everything, and I’d appreciate it if you didn’t tell her. I didn’t sleep with your sister, and this could get really complicated trying to explain.”

  I covered my eyes with my hand. “I won’t say anything. I’m sorry, Taylor.”

  Tyler hung up the phone and slid it into his back pocket. “Come here,” he said, holding out his hands.

  I kept my face covered. “I’m so sorry.”

  “This isn’t your fault,” he said. He walked over to me and wrapped the blanket around us both.

  I pressed my forehead against his chest, breathing in stale cigarette smoke and his cologne.

  I left him to sit on the couch, lighting a cigarette. He sat next to me, letting his head fall back against the wall. “I’m not sure which one of you should hate the other more.”

  “You heard her. We’re sisters. We can’t hate each other.”

  “I can hate her,” he grumbled. “I have to know how she crawled into bed with Taylor without him knowing. He must have thought she was Falyn coming back to bed.”

  I took a drag and then handed it to Tyler. He took a drag and handed it back.

  “My fucked up family has officially poisoned yours.”

  Tyler took the beer out of my hand. “You were black-out drunk last night, and you’re drinking again. I thought you were going to quit? Do I need to quit with you?”

  “I’ve just lost my sister. Not the best time to stop drinking.”

  “There will never be a good time if you have to drink every time you’re upset. Shit happens. You have to learn to deal with it without alcohol. I love you no matter what, but you need to wake up, Ellie.”

  My eyebrows pulled together as I stared at the wall. “I can’t wake up. This isn’t a dream.”

  CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE

  Glowing white lights hung from the ceiling, strung along the muslin looped loosely from the rafters. Fat candle votives were surrounded with elaborate green and white floral centerpieces on each table.

  Abby and Travis were slow dancing in the center of the room, whispering and smiling, deliriously happy. I was lying on the floor, snapping pictures and looking for other angles. I’d already taken shots of the wedding party, the families, the couples, and the first dance. Next would be the cutting of the cake, but Travis and Abby didn’t seem to be in any hurry.

  I pushed to my feet, feeling someone tap on my shoulder. Tyler stood behind me, clean-shaven and gorgeous in a tux, his top button undone and his bow tie hanging off kilter.

  “Wanna dance?” he asked.

  “I should probably stay focused. I’d hate to miss anything.”

  He slid his hands into his pants pockets and nodded.

  “Oh, go on!” Camille said, pulling up on my camera until the strap slipped over my head. “I’ll take your picture.”

  “I prefer to be on the other side of the camera,” I said.

  “Please?” Tyler said, tugging me toward the dance floor.

  I followed, but Camille clicking my camera like paparazzi was maddening. Tyler and I smiled for a few pictures, and then Camille decided to try her photography skills on Shepley’s parents and Trenton.

  Tyler stared at our hands while he swayed with me a few feet away from the not-so-newlyweds. He touched his smooth cheek to mine, breathing me in and savoring the moment.

  “This is a good song,” he said. “I’ve heard it a hundred times and never thought I’d be in St. Thomas dancing with you to it.”

  “It’s beautiful here. I’d forgotten. If I haven’t told you thank you yet … thank you.”

  “If I hadn’t, America’s parents would have paid your way.”

  “Maybe they would have gotten me my own room,” I said with a smirk.

  “Doubtful. No one believes that we’re just friends, despite your insistence.”

  I glanced at my glass of “ice water” I’d left at our table. Before the wedding, I’d emptied a water bottle and gone downstairs to fill it with vodka. Every sip I’d taken during the course of the day made me feel physically better and emotionally worse.

  “The second they smash that cake in each other’s faces, I’m done. Fourteen hours is enough for one day. This is more stressful than being on the mountain at the head of a fire.”

  Tyler’s mouth pulled up into a half-smile, and he kissed my temple. I didn’t pull away, barely giving it a second thought. Earlier, his family had mentioned that I would give in to Tyler eventually. I wasn’t even sure what we were anymore. We had started a series of two steps forward and four steps back since the beginning and couldn’t seem to kick it.

  Beads of sweat were forming between my skin and my dress, and dampening the hair at the nape of my neck. It wasn’t so much hot as it was humid. The air was thick and heavy, draping over my skin like an electric blanket.

  The song ended, and Travis led Abby to the cake table by the hand. I left Tyler on the dance floor to find Camille and my camera, trying not to feel too irritated that she’d taken over a hundred pictures in the five minutes it had been in her possession.

  I focused the lens while Travis and Abby pushed down on the knife to make the first slice. Everyone chuckled while Abby threatened him as he inched the small square of cake toward her mouth. An instant later it was over, sealed with a kiss. Everyone clapped, and then the music began to play again. I snapped a few more pictures and then made my way to our table, swiping my drink and finishing it off before I reached the small bar in the corner.

  “Rum?” the bartender said, sweat streaming down his temple.

  “Vodka cranberry. A double, please … mostly vodka.” I watched him closely as he poured, nodding with satisfaction as he poured three-fourths vodka and the rest cranberry juice. I’d realized vodka was cheap and the least smelling of spirits, and it was easy to mix with most things, making it easiest for me to take to work or most functions. “Better go ahead and make me another,” I said, glancing over my shoulder. I finished off the first drink before leaving, turning with a smile on my face, hoping anyone watching would think I’d just come away with one drink.

  Hiding, concealing, and strategizing to seem normal. I wasn’t sure how much longer the functioning part of my alcoholism would continue to be true.

  “Easy,” Tyler said. “Everything okay?”

  “Just relaxing,” I said, watching Travis kiss his wife and then lift her into his arms, waving goodbye. I grabbed my camera and captured that moment, happy for them and me, that I could finally put away my camera and mean it.

  It wasn’t long before Camille and Trenton, Taylor and Falyn, and Tyler and I were the last of the wedding guests left. The parents had turned in early, and Thomas and Liis seemed to be fighting.

  I sat at the table, holding ice on my neck with one hand and a new drink in the other. Trenton and Taylor were twirling to the music with their dates, jok
ing and giggling. The flaps on the outside restaurant that had been unrolled to keep out the rain were flapping in the breeze. I lifted my head, letting the air roll over my damp skin and the liquor sink in.

  Tyler brushed a few wet strands of hair from my forehead. “You okay?”

  “I’m good,” I crooned, keeping my eyes closed. It wasn’t often that I could get drunk anymore. “I want to swim in the ocean.”

  He lit a cigarette, but before he could blow out, I grabbed his cheeks and inhaled, filling my lungs with his smoke. I sat back, exhaling into the thick air.

  He perched his elbow on the table and cupped his chin with his hand, shaking his head. “You make it so fucking hard to do the right thing.”

  “Take me swimming,” I said, biting my lip.

  “What about tomorrow?” he asked. “It’s been a long day. Not sure if swimming at night in a storm is the best idea when we’re drunk and tired.”

  “Whatever,” I said, leaning back and closing my eyes again. Air cooled by the rain caressed my skin, and the heaviness from the vodka was comforting. I reached out for Tyler, blindly finding his arm.

  “What are you doing?” he asked, amused.

  “Just making sure you’re still there.”

  “I’m here. For as long as you’ll let me.”

  My lids popped open, and I let my head fall forward, looking at him with sleepy, dry eyes. “I want to make a pallet on our floor and lie with you naked.”

  “That sounds like a dirty trick,” he said, grinning.

  I lifted my hand to the waiter, signaling for another drink. He glanced to Tyler, who I could see shaking his head from the corner of my eye.

  “Hey,” I said in a moment of clarity.

  “Ellie … you’re drunk. You’re on like your tenth drink … not including the shit you’ve drank all day. You’re going to hurt yourself.”

  “Better me than someone else.”

  He frowned. “Wow. Are we at the pity stage of the night? Or is that you being a bitter drunk?”

  Camille was showing her engagement ring to Falyn for the dozenth time of the evening, and I rolled my eyes. “It’s a fucking diamond, and a small one. Stop bragging.”

  “Ellie, that’s enough,” Tyler said.