Lights Out (Indigo)

by Robinson, Ruthie

  “She’s an alcoholic, Joe.”

  “I know, dude. Wasn’t sure how much you knew. You were young.”

  “I knew.”

  “She wants to see you again,” he said.

  “To live with? I thought you had custody of me.”

  “I do, and it can remain that way. But I would have to go to back to court if she doesn’t agree.”

  “How is she?” he asked.

  “The best I’ve seen her since she was a little girl,” he said, and he meant it.

  “What does she want?”

  “For now, she wants nothing more than the opportunity to see you again, to get to know you…for you to get to know her.”

  “What do you think?”

  “I think it’s up to you, dude. What do you think?”

  “I would like to see her. I mean when she wasn’t drunk or sick, she was fun, happy, played with me. I miss her,” he said, looking over at Joe. “I would like to see her again,” he said, his voice sure.

  “Okay,” he said.

  “When? Tomorrow?” Shane asked. Joe sat back, surprised by the hopefulness underneath his nephew’s question.

  “I’ll have to call her first, but I’m sure that could be arranged,” he said, pulling Shane in to his chest. “I’ll always be here for you. You know that, right? Always. And if you meet your mom again and don’t want to see her anymore, I’ll be there, too,” he said, wanting to make sure Shane understood he had an out.

  “I know,” he said.

  “So are you headed to bed or do you want to watch a movie with me?” he asked.

  “Movie.”

  “Okay, you grab one and we’ll watch whatever you pick,” he said, releasing Shane, who stood up and went to his room in search of one of his old favorites. They’d seen them all at least ten times. Joe could probably recite half of the lines in his sleep.

  So he’d call Meghan tomorrow and take Shane over after he got back from Taylor’s. Seeing his mother again had been tugging at his mind, too. Maybe he’d see about that, too, he thought as Shane put the DVD into the player.

  “Popcorn?” Shane asked, heading toward the kitchen.

  “Yes, and bring a beer back with you,” Joe added.

  “Sure,” he replied. Joe heard him in the kitchen, rooting around, followed by sounds of popcorn popping. A few minutes later Shane returned and he and Joe sat back, a bowl filled with popcorn between them, beer for Joe, soda for Shane. And they did what they’d done for the last two years—enjoyed each other’s company.

  * * *

  Joe drove toward Reye’s, knowing it was Saturday and that he was taking a chance that she might be working. He avoided going to their home. He and Stephen weren’t dear friends, hadn’t ever been. They came close to blows once, and Joe knew Stephen only tolerated him because he and Reye were friends. Because of that, he tried to keep his distance.

  He had time. He’d just dropped off Shane at Taylor’s. He and Shane would visit Meghan later. He’d called her as he’d told Shane he would and heard the excitement and hope in her voice when he’d asked if it was okay to bring Shane by.

  He pulled up to Home Away From Home. Reye’s truck was parked outside. He parked behind it and walked to the door, which stood open behind the screen door. He knocked and went in.

  “Reye,” he called out. No answer. He heard banging from the back so he walked in the direction of the sound, the kitchen. No Reye. Only Stephen’s legs extended outward, upper torso under the sink. Joe squatted down next to him and hit him on his legs to get his attention.

  Stephen slid out and pulled the earphones from his ears. He looked at Joe.

  “It’s just me here, dude,” he said.

  “What are you working on?” Joe asked.

  “Reye did something to the drain. Was trying to repair it before she could,” he said and smiled.

  “She didn’t think you could repair it, huh?” Joe said, and laughed. Stephen chuckled. Reye was a good handywoman.

  “How’s Shane?”

  “Fine,” he said. “Reye told you that my sister’s back?”

  “Yep,” Stephen said, standing up, walking to the refrigerator. “Want a beer?”

  “Sure,” Joe said, standing, accepting a beer from Stephen.

  “Had to bring my own. Been here most of the day, working on Reye’s to-do list,” Stephen said.

  Joe nodded.

  “So how’s the sister thing working?” Stephen asked, resting his back against the refrigerator door.

  “I’m taking Shane over for a visit this evening. First time he’s seen her since she left.”

  Stephen nodded and took a swig of his beer.

  “How’s that woman you’re seeing? Piper, right?”

  “Piper it is, although I haven’t seen her in a while.”

  Stephen nodded.

  “So, you and Reye, the right decision for you?” Joe asked.

  “Absolutely.”

  “You didn’t always know that.”

  “You’re right, but I found out in enough time not to completely blow it.”

  “Is there a message in there?” Joe asked.

  “Only if you want there to be.”

  “I like her, may even love her, but I’m not sure it would last. If I would last. If I’m capable. It’s not her that I doubt.”

  Stephen was silent and Joe continued. “I found out my mother is sober. She wasn’t the last time I saw her,” he said, eyes on Stephen. “I’ve only seen one, maybe two marriages worth anything. My foster family’s, and yours. I don’t know if I could, but if I’ve got a shot with anyone, it’s with her.”

  Stephen remained quiet at that declaration.

  “So what do you think?” Joe asked.

  “It’s your call. Talk to her. Let her know how you feel, see what follows. That’s all the advice I can give,” he said. They were both quiet as they finished off their beers.

  “It would be nice, though, for me,” Stephen said, and Joe looked up, eyes questioning.

  “Now that you love someone, you’ll leave Reye alone.”

  “I was never your competition,” Joe said.

  “I know that. I wasn’t sure you always did,” Stephen said, and smiled. Joe laughed, and set his empty bottle on the counter.

  “Tell Reye hello for me,” he said, reaching to shake Stephen’s hand.

  “I will,” Stephen said, watching as Joe left through the front door.

  * * *

  “So, dude. I called your mother this morning and she would like to see you today. You still up for it?” Joe asked, looking at Shane, who sat in the passenger seat. Joe had just picked him up from Taylor’s.

  “Been ready, born ready, stay ready,” he said, smiling.

  “Well then, here goes,” he said and smiled back.

  Joe parked in the drive and he and Shane made their way to the front door. It opened before they had a chance to knock. Meghan stood there, not sure what to do, and Shane walked to her and hugged her.

  “Hey, Mom,” he said, holding on tightly to her waist.

  “Hey, Shane,” she said, her arms going around his shoulders, pulling him in tightly to her. Aaron stood behind her, looking at them and then moving on to Joe. He smiled.

  “Hey, I made some cookies, want to try a few?” she asked, looking down into her son’s face. Both of them were suddenly a little teary.

  “Sure.”

  “Come with me,” she said, and she and Shane walked toward the back of the house where the kitchen was located.

  “Want to give them some time to themselves?” Aaron asked.

  “That works,” Joe responded, and followed Aaron into the family room. It was quiet in here.

  “I didn’t have much of an opportunity to talk to you the first time you were here,” Aaron said, taking a seat on the couch.

  “No, you didn’t,” Joe said, taking a seat next to him. “I believe Meghan said you were a preacher.”

  “That’s right. Been one for the last five
years. I’m fifteen years sober. Grew up here. My family was poor, but Dad worked hard and we were fed. I always had the penchant for pushing the envelope. What would happen if? Funny trait to have as a kid, not so much as an adult,” he said, chuckling. “I always wanted stuff, and didn’t want to work that long road for it, either. I didn’t want my dad’s life; he played by the rules and had nothing to show for it. I wanted it quick. So I went into outdoor pharmaceutical sales. Drugs, on the corner. Life didn’t work out quite like I planned. I started using, was lost for many years, until I reached a point where it was death on one side or surrender on the other. I chose to surrender. There were dark days in there, too. Anyway, found the ministry a useful place for a sinner, trying to show the God I’d found to others,” he said, lost in thought for a second. “I met your sister. We became friends and then more later.”

  “How long have you been married?” Joe asked.

  “Almost a year,” Aaron answered.

  “Your sister is an amazing woman,” he said, sitting back, a smile on his face. “She is loving, kind, compassionate, and an unlikely match for me. But we’ve visited the same places. She understands my need to counsel, to preach, to help, and I get her hurt, her guilt at not being able to fix her family, her guilt for hurting you, her need to be loved. We all have that.”

  “She was always this sweet kid. She looked up to me, followed me around all the time,” he said, smiling at the memory. “A nuisance, she was.”

  Aaron waited until Joe’s eyes returned to his. “Got to let go of all that anger or it’ll kill you. It’ll keep the light of what God has promised for you from coming in. Trust me, I speak from experience,” he added. Neither spoke for a while.

  “On a less serious note, thanks for bringing Shane over. It means the world to Meghan, and she meant what she said. She wants to prove that she can be a good mother. Prove it to herself, to Shane, and to you. She loves and admires you. Talked about all you’d done for her, wanted to move here to be near you.”

  Joe looked up, surprised.

  “Hey, you two,” Meghan said, interrupting them. “We were looking for you. Come on in to the kitchen and eat some of my homemade cookies.” A smiling Shane stood next to her.

  “I was telling Shane about the cookies you tried to make. Remember, Joe?” she said, and he looked up.

  “I do,” he said, smiling at that long-forgotten memory.

  “They were awful. Shane, your uncle was an awful cook,” Meghan said, smiling.

  “What? He still is,” Shane said.

  “What!” Joe said, standing, along with Aaron, and following Meghan and Shane into the kitchen. The four of them spent another hour or two talking and getting to know each other, remembering some of the good times Joe and Meghan had shared together growing up. When it was time to leave, Meghan and Aaron walked them to the door. Aaron and Shane walked through first, leaving Joe and his sister alone.

  “Thanks, Joe, for bringing him. You don’t know how much it means to me, how much you mean to me,” Meghan said. “I missed you, having you in my corner. I didn’t call you during rehab because I didn’t want to disappoint you again. I needed to prove to myself that I could do this.”

  “Aaron seems like a really nice guy,” Joe said.

  “He is. Wants to be a father someday,” she said, looking up at him. “How about you, Joe? What do you want?”

  He shrugged.

  “Piper is a great woman. She loves you.”

  “Marriage working for you?” he asked, his favorite question nowadays.

  “It is. I know it’s not for everyone, and not everyone wants it, but Aaron loves me within an inch of my life. It’s so comforting to know someone has your back.”

  “So maybe you and me could work this out. Start out slow, see how things play out with Shane? Let the court stuff alone for a while. Just see if we can figure it out ourselves,” he said.

  “I’d like to try,” she said.

  “Me, too,” he said, and she moved close to him, her arms going around his waist, her head in his chest. He hugged her back, a part of him easing a little, relaxing.

  “One more thing,” she said.

  “What?”

  “I think you should consider going to see Mom.”

  “Maybe,” he said, and laughed when she squeezed him. She’d done that when she was younger, too. He laughed, and so did she, both remembering.

  * * *

  “I’m going to talk to her,” Reye said when Stephen’s eyes opened later on that night. He turned to look at the clock. It was midnight.

  “What are you doing up?” he asked, stretching his arms over his head, running his hand through his hair.

  “Thinking about the conversation you had with Joe. I’m going by Lights Out tomorrow to talk to her.”

  “Think that’s a good idea?”

  “If I leave it up to him, Joe might not ever get married. He loves her. He’s just too stubborn and too scared to try,” she said, laying on her stomach now, her head resting on her arms, looking at Stephen, remembering when they almost hadn’t worked out.

  “I don’t want him to ruin the one good thing besides Shane he has in his life. I owe him that, for almost punching you, for supporting me, for being a good guy, being a friend. God knows if women leave it up to you guys, you’ll fuck it up,” she said.

  “Is that so?” Stephen said, pushing her over onto her back, his hands at her breasts as his leg parted hers.

  “Fuck it up, huh?” he said, kissing her neck. “I like fucking it up.” She laughed, but closed her eyes and let his hands work their magic.

  * * *

  Reye walked up to the counter, taking stock of Piper. It was nice to find another woman almost her height.

  “Hi. Welcome to Lights Out Coffee. What can I get for you this morning?” Piper asked, a smile on her face.

  “I’ll have a white chocolate mocha.”

  “Sure,” she said, pulling out a cup from her stack, writing the name of Reye’s drink on it.

  “Do you have time to talk?” Reye asked.

  “Me?” Piper asked, surprised at this request, looking over the woman who she didn’t know standing before her.

  “My name is Reye Stuart. I’ve known Joe and Shane for a while, and wanted to talk to you about them. I’m hoping I could help, maybe offer some insights into Joe,” she said.

  That had Piper’s attention. “Let me finish with the customers here and I’ll join you in a minute.”

  “Thanks,” Reye said, moving down to wait for her drink. Piper worked through the customers in her line, glancing often at Reye as she waited for her drink order and then moved to the booth near the front window.

  “Estelle, can you handle the counter for a minute?”

  “I’ve got it. Go on,” Estelle said.

  Piper grabbed a juice from the refrigerator in the kitchen and went over to join Reye.

  “I know this is strange. You don’t know me, but I felt like I needed to speak to you on Joe’s behalf. He’s a really good guy,” Reye said, getting to the point.

  “Okay,” she said.

  “Joe and my husband belonged to the same soccer team and the same fraternity. They played intramurals throughout the university. Anyway, he didn’t like me at first, and went out of his way to let me know that. It was mutual. I worked at the East River Community Center while completing my degree in education. I wanted to be a teacher. That’s how I met Shane.”

  Piper nodded, listening.

  “Shane was this quiet, shy kid who was struggling in school. I’d struggled in school, too, so I felt a kinship. I was always united with the underdogs, the overlooked. Anyway, to make a long story short, I found out that Joe was Shane’s uncle. The same Joe I didn’t much care for. I found out that his mother, Joe’s sister, had alcohol problems. I’d never met her, but Joe was in school at the time, and he rearranged his life to accommodate Shane. And that was enough for me. We joined forces to make sure Shane stayed on track, and he has blosso
med into this great, confident kid. Joe was responsible for that, and he became my ally when I was having trouble with Stephen, my husband,” she said.

  Piper was quiet, listening.

  “I’m telling you this to say that Joe was once a very angry young man. His past, I imagine, wasn’t the best. He’s never talked about it with me, even after we became good friends. He took care of Shane, took him in, finished school, and did what was necessary to see that Shane had a good start. He’s a good guy. Give him time to work through whatever he has to work through. I know it’s none of my business, but I don’t think he ever had much support in his life, not from what I’ve seen. I know he appreciates that about you, the sense that you are committed to family as much as he is.

  “I’m happy he’s met you,” Reye continued, staring at Piper. “He’s a rare one, Joe. So much so that I felt compelled to come by to encourage you. I didn’t want him to run you off. ”

  “Thank you,” Piper said. “I have no idea what he’s struggling with most times, and he hasn’t talked to me about it, not with what’s inside,” she said, looking off, tears quickly forming in her eyes. “I can’t help if he won’t talk to me.”

  “Yeah, you can. You can be there for him in the way he is for those he cares about. Give him some time,” she said, reaching for Piper’s hand.

  “It doesn’t seem like I’m going to be able to let him go yet. Couldn’t if I wanted to. You know how that is, I bet.”

  “I do.”

  “Thanks for coming to talk. It helps.”

  “You’re welcome. My home is not far from here. Here’s a card. My cell number’s on there, too, in case you ever need to talk. Men can be tough customers, so I understand the need to vent,” she said with a smile.

  Piper smiled back and squeezed her hand.

  Chapter 21

  Joe sat, looking at Lights Out. It was almost two months since he’d talked to Piper. He, Shane, and Meghan had been busy. A lot had happened since that dinner with Piper. They were talking. It was easier now. They had talked a lot, covered a lot of ground from the old days to now. There had been a lot of ground to cover. He was going to talk to his mom. Meghan, like a dog with a bone, pushed him to do this, to talk to her, to forgive her, said that it would do more for him than he knew.