Layer Your Novel: The Innovative Method for Plotting Your Scenes (The Writer's Toolbox Series)

by C. S. Lakin

  Suki Tamura, 42, taxi driver. Recounts New Year’s Eve, when her cab window was shot out, a robber demanding her money. Just then a man grabbed the punk, threatened him, and said “I’ll be watching you.” Her “savior” speaks to her in Japanese, asks if she’s okay. She notes: “I didn’t see him until three days later . . . on that really scary day.” Father Paul’s POV. Goes to archdiocese to meet with Cardinal Malloy. Paul is annoyed the cardinal hasn’t done what he’s asked—to get the NYPD to trace that call from the gallery. Malloy demands to know what Paul is up to. Jillian’s POV. Verifies the photos are authentic. Father Paul’s POV. Malloy looks at the photo of Will’s letter, learns there are matching samples of his handwriting across 1,600 years. Malloy is rattled: “What exactly are we dealing with?”

  Jillian. In apartment on New Year’s Eve watching TV, missing her office party, missing her dead mother. Father Paul’s POV. Tries to get the NYPD to help him track Will. They agree to pick him up in the morning to use GPS to locate him. The priest can’t wait to reveal the truth about Will to the world. He’s very ambitious and power-hungry. Tito’s POV. Fretting over Will looking exactly like that painting. Hanna’s POV. Mourning over her lost life with Will. Will’s POV. He’s in a church, hoping the new millennium will usher in his long-awaited hopes. Release from his “curse.” But as the minister is preaching about Jesus’s crucifixion and celebrations erupt in Times Square, nothing happens.

  Will. Tries to be hopeful, then candles blow out and a dark voice tells him that maybe Jesus won’t show at all. Sees the young man from before and says, “It’s not over, you bastard.” He wanders the city all night, getting depressed, begging, “Please, reveal yourself.”

  Key Scene #3 - First Pinch Point (33%). Father Paul. Police pick him up, as they drive, they snag Will’s location via GPS. He presses the cops. He has to catch him. The man is guilty of murder! [We’ve seen up till now the priest searching for Will, as he’s been doing for years. But it’s only now that he has actually located him, in this city, and he is bringing all his force to bear on finding him.] Will’s POV. Heading to the subway in a foul mood. Father Paul’s POV. They lose Will’s signal. Paul is furious. Cops suggest he may have gone down into the subway. Will’s POV. While waiting on the subway platform, a crazed man threatens to jump. Will, at his patience’s end, grabs the man and suggests they jump together. The man freaks and runs. People around Will speak to him in Russian, warning him (they aren’t aware someone is speaking through them). Will, raging, enters the subway car. Father Paul’s POV. He dashes with cops down to the subway, searching frantically but doesn’t see Will. Cop says he may have gotten on the last train. They’ll head to 103rd Street and see if they can pick up the signal again.

  Will. In subway, gets claustrophobic, stumbles off at some stop and heads up to the street. Father Paul’s POV. In car, cops put out an APB for Will, then catch his signal in Spanish Harlem. Will’s POV. Nightmare memories assail him. Different people are used to speak to him. “He ain’t coming” and “But I’m right here for you, Will.” He stumbles on. Father Paul’s POV. Still in pursuit. Will’s POV. Heads NE toward his motor home. At 112th, he sees a tenement house on fire. On the fourth floor, a woman screams. Her child is trapped. Will tries to ignore, but can’t. “No, I don’t want to do this anymore!” But then he runs inside. Father Paul’s POV. Homes in on 112th Street, two blocks ahead. Will’s POV. Runs through flames and smoke to the second floor, hears the child crying. Father Paul’s POV. Stops and watches the firemen work, searches the crowd. Will has to be here! Will’s POV. He finds the child, flames all around. He tosses her down to firefighters three floors below. He faints in pain. Father Paul’s POV. Sees the firefighters with the child, then a body is hauled out of the building. He sees it is Will! His legs are broken and he’s badly burnt; doesn’t look like he’ll survive. As the ambulance races off, Paul and cops are right behind.

  Key Scene #4 - Twist #1. Will. His mind floats in a coma. Recalls his early days in the first century, traveled, lived in monasteries, tried to learn why he never aged or died. In 760 he tries to assure crowds a comet isn’t going to destroy them. He’s beaten to death.

  Dr. Fernandez, 44, trauma specialist. Treats Will, who is in coma in Emergency. Hanna’s POV. Sees the news of the fire on TV, sees Will’s face on the body dragged out. Shocked. Jillian’s POV. Steve grabs Jillian. They see Will on TV, head to the hospital. Will’s POV. More drifting through memories [author is using this as a device to fill in a lot of backstory of Will’s many experiences]. This memory is how he met Ghandi, the Vatican after Will, he escapes on board a ship.

  Jillian. She goes into the hospital with Chris, a photographer. Sees the priest as they hurry by the ICU. Father Paul’s POV. He watches the news people run to room 304 and follows. Jillian’s POV. Will is comatose; Chris takes photos. The priest comes in. Dr. kicks them out. Jillian sees an old woman rushing to Will’s room and wonders if the woman can ID him. Hanna’s POV. She’s shocked: it is Will! Jillian’s POV. Follows the old woman, hears her speak to the nurse. She tells nurse she’s a good friend and his name is W. J. Jillian questions Hanna, but the old woman will say no more. Hanna’s POV. See that Father Paul is there, startles her. Jillian’s POV. She calls Steve. Says he is the guy but doesn’t know his name yet. Tells him to research Hanna Claire. She’s the key.

  Will. Has more memories, these of chatting with a young German in 1904 about theoretical physics (Einstein). Jillian’s POV. At night, she is still in the hospital waiting room, as is the priest. Nurse tries to wake Will.

  Will. Hears the nurse’s voice. Still lost in the past, with Melville, who wrote Moby Dick.

  Father Paul. He’s waiting to see if Will wakens. Will’s POV. Memories now of 1930s Chicago gangsters. Then recalls his anticipation and letdown at the arrival of the year 1000, where he had hoped for release or answers then too. Tito’s POV. Knocking at the motor home, looking for Will. Jillian’s POV. Chris comes to the hospital. The mother and girl who were saved in the fire show up. The girl goes in to thank Will. Maria Encalada, 5. Sees Will, thanks him, prays for him. Jillian’s POV. Watches the girl come out of the room.

  Will. Hears a child’s voice. Remembers being with Kepler and discussing astronomy. He confides in Percy and Mary Shelley, who comfort him.

  Maria. They leave the hospital, and she hears mean remarks about her druggie mom. Will’s POV. Recalls seeing doctors over the centuries, trying to get answers to his condition, feeling hopeless to change his life’s course. Jillian’s POV. A nurse tells her Will is improving. Says the firefighters found his wallet and ID. Will’s POV. He starts to feel pain. Father Paul’s POV. Hears a sound from Will’s room and sees he is waking. Jillian’s POV. She takes a cab to the known address of J. W. Aldritch at 177th Street. Steve calls her and says Aldritch died seven years ago, and he can’t find anything useful on Hanna.

  Will. Still floundering in memories. [To me, this goes on way too long.] Father Paul’s POV. Angry that the cardinal isn’t heeding Paul’s directives and authority. See’s Will is moving. Maria. She’s been taken to an “uncle’s” place. She overhears adults talking about using her as a mule to carry drugs. Father Paul’s POV. Will is waking. Paul plans to take him to the Vatican with help of the NYPD. Will’s POV. He’s remembering how he made Levi Strauss famous back in SF in the 1800s.

  Key Scene #5 – Midpoint (50% mark). Will. Recalls being in the burning building, reminding him of watching heretics burn at the stake. Maria’s POV. She’s drawing pictures of the fire. Her “uncle” touches her. Will’s POV. He relives the pain of the fire, and the young man says in Latin, “I know you can hear me.” Father Paul’s POV. Overhears the “nurse” speaking the words in Latin, in a male voice. Then hears Will moan and say, “Leave me be . . . Asmodeus.” Father Paul freezes. The nurse comes out of the room. Paul asks her why she spoke in Latin, but she reacts puzzled. The reporter comes in. Will mutters again, “Asmodeus.” Jillian’s POV. Pushes past the priest and goes to Will�
��s bedside. [While this is the Midpoint, having him partially wake doesn’t fit the Midpoint moment at all. There is no big realization or deeper commitment to the goal—no goal. All that happens for chapters, at this point, is Will is remembering his past and slowly waking and telling some of his story to Jillian and the priest.]

  Jillian. She and the priest try to talk to Will, who is only partially conscious. He is speaking in Latin. The priest tells her those are names for Satan he’s saying. Will’s POV. Slips back into memories of the 1600s, Lord Bacon, others. Jillan’s POV. Learns Will is recovering amazingly. They’ve given Will Pentothal, which is making him tell the truth. She finally gets Will to answer questions. Gives many names, and says he’s from Judea. Will’s POV. He envisions Judea, and speaks in Latin to her. Jillan’s POV. Asks if he can speak English. Then he does, telling her he’d lived in Judea for thirty-three years, over two thousand years ago. The priest is amazed and speechless. She asks, “How is this possible?” Will mentions a curse he got “three days after he was killed” (he, meaning Jesus). Then complains of the pain. Will’s POV. Recalls the pain back then, stumbling around Judea, seeing that young man. Each time he went in one direction, toward home, the pain would strike. When he went in an opposite direction, the pain vanished. Jillian’s POV. Will tells her how he sought refuge with a leather merchant named Livia, whom he married and had a son with. Will’s POV. After he recovered, he tried to go home but still couldn’t. Then the pain returned, and he had to go three thousand feet away to relieve the pain. He realized he could not stay in one place more than three days. He was forced to wander. Father Paul’s POV. Asks Will: “Why three days, three thousand feet?” but Will doesn’t know. Then tells how he was trampled to death by a chariot. Will’s POV. Recalls dying, but he recovered fully—a miracle.

  Jillian. Thinks it odd the priest is not surprised by Will’s story. Will’s POV. Continues recalling those first days, trying to get help, understanding. Seeing that young man from time to time. Jillian’s POV. Listening to Will’s story. Hearing how he had to keep moving, watching his family age as he stayed the same. Will’s POV. Years later his family comes to see him in Petra. His wife is dying and his children are old. Jillian’s POV. Listens as Will tells how he watched his wife die and now knew what he had to do. Will’s POV. After saying good-bye to his old children, he hurled himself off a cliff to die. Father Paul’s POV. Listens as Will tells how he didn’t die, merely suffered horrible pain. [The continual interruption of story by shifting POVs is also very annoying to me, as a reader. And this is a lot of “telling” and backstory.] Will’s POV. Tells how he recovered and hid in a cave, pleading the gods for help. Jillian’s POV. Will keeps recounting, at the urging of the priest, saying how he wandered the world for centuries. He learned he could return to a place after 333 years, so he went back to the site of the crucifixion. The priest is shocked Will witnessed Jesus’s death. Will says that was the day of his crime, but says no more. The priest walks out of the room, and Jillian calls Steve, then Hanna Claire.

  Hanna. Jillian calls and tells her some of what Will said, wanting her response, but Hanna pretends confusion. Jillian’s POV. She assures Hanna she means well and won’t share this story unless Hanna or Will want her to. Hanna’s POV. She agrees to come and talk to Jillian, then warns her not to talk to the priest. Will’s POV. He continues with his story, often seeing the young man through the centuries. Jillian wonders if that man is also “cursed” like Will [the POVs keep switching as he tells his story]. Will tells how he tried to die over and over. Jillian asks what his crime was. Will says he was captain of Pilate’s guard and watched Jesus’s crucifixion. When the whipped and beaten Christ stopped on his doorstep, under the weight of the cross he was carrying, Will had struck Jesus and told him to go away. Jesus then said to him, “I go. But thou shalt here remain . . . thou diest not . . . but walk until I come again.” Jillian’s POV. The priest gets up, scoffs, claims this is all ridiculous, but Jillian says nothing. The priest leaves.

  Key Scene #6 - Pinch Pont #2. Father Paul. He calls his contact at the Vatican, boasts of his find and how he is about to take him captive. He fantasizes all the acclaim and promotion he will get—maybe even become Pope. [This is the right place for this pinch point; however there isn’t really any action or new info here. We are just seeing, again, how he plans to take Will to Rome.] Jillian. While waiting by Will’s room, she has Steve look up references to “wandering Jew,” apparently named after Will. Steve tells her there are references to him in literature throughout the ages. Maria. Her “uncle” tries to touch her; she misses her mom. [I don’t see how these scenes with Maria, and especially in her POV, are useful.] Jillian. Hanna shows up. They talk. Hanna warns Jillian about the priest. He shows up, and they move down the hall to talk privately. Father Paul. He’s waiting for the police to come. Jillian. Hanna tells her whole story about Will and says the Vatican is trying to capture him. They talk about miracles and Jesus and how the stories of Jesus’s powers had been exaggerated. Will tries to make Christianity an ethical way of life, not a religion.

  Jillian. She and Hanna talk, worry about the priest. Will. He finally wakes and talks to her. They talk about many people he met over the centuries, how they missed each other. Maria. She escapes from the house and heads down the street at night.

  Father Paul. Paces, waiting for the police, recalling some things he’d learned about Will. Maria. Still walking. Will. He and Hanna talk more. He tells her he’s exhausted and wants this all to end.

  Key Scene #7 - Twist #2 [Will escapes—not much of a twist]. Tito. Sees newspaper showing Will and the fire. Jillian. Worrying about what the priest will do. Father Paul. The cardinal arrives. They chat amiably (no urgency). They enter the hospital and tell the doctor they will post police watch and then take Will when he comes to. The doctor says his condition is critical (though we’ve been seeing it’s not). Jillian. When they get to Will’s room, they find he’s gone. Jillian runs outside and sees Hanna pushing Will in a wheelchair. She runs over, hails a cab, and they all get in and rush away. Father Paul. Runs outside but can’t find Will. Jillian. They discuss where to go, and Jillian thinks it would be best for Will to speak out. But he’s done this before, and because he knows the Catholic Church has not told the truth about Jesus, the church is after him, and it’s not safe. They head to Harlem as Will seems to be mostly coherent now. Will. He wishes he could be mortal like everyone else. Passes the young man who is on the sidewalk.

  Maria. Walking the street, feeling led in some direction. Father Paul. With the doctor looking at the CCTV footage showing Will up and walking out of the hospital. The priest shows the doctor photos of Will through the ages, explaining the situation. The doctor is suspicious of the church’s motives regarding capturing Will, but he’s then bribed with visions of glory, of the groundbreaking discoveries he will make while studying Will. Tito. Arrives at the hospital and sees the priest and cops on the street. Jillian. Hanna recounts so many brave selfless things Will has done, and though he wants to give up, she won’t let him. Tito. He’s riding in the car with the priest and cops. They’ve told him they need his help finding Will, that Will is sick. Tito directs him to Will’s motor home. Nicole [whom we have only seen one early POV scene with]. She feels compelled to get off the subway train, doesn’t know why, a new puppy on her lap. Jillian. The driver changes into the young man Will always sees. He races full speed at a warehouse, the doors of which “magically” open for them.

  Tito. Watches the priest rip apart Will’s motor home. Upset, Tito feels compelled to head over to the Westside. Jillian. Freaked out. Hanna says, “It’s him, isn’t it?” to Will. Jillian wants answers. Will gets out. The warehouse is filled with furniture and theatrical items. The mysterious young man walks around, making mannequins come to life. He talks with Will. Hanna tells Jillian he’s not human. Will and the man argue, but Will’s opponent doesn’t say what he wants.

  Jillian. Seems like the man is trying to persuade Will to
go over to “the dark side” and join him, assuring Will he’ll be happier that way. Will. Realizes the young man must be Satan [though I wonder why it’s taken him 2,000 years to conclude this]. Jillian. The man asks Will if he’d really believed Jesus was going to release him at the millennium. Will says yes, despondent. Will. The “Devil” keeps trying to persuade Will to join him, assuring him he can relieve Will’s curse. Hanna begs Will not to believe him. Jillian. Sees Hanna choke. Will rushes to help her. The Devil tells Will he merely shut her up so they can talk. Maria. Gets into a cab. Suki. The girl points in a direction. Suki feels compelled to go that way too. Tito. Jumps on a subway train.

  Jillian. She thinks Will was tempted by the other man, but seeing Hanna gave him resolve to resist. Will. A long argument ensues, with Satan belittling what Will has accomplished and Hanna taking the other side. A mannequin takes Will’s first wife’s form. He wants Will to “join his side,” but Will says no. So Satan says he’ll take someone else.

  Chuck (and Laura, and Renji). Each feels compelled to head toward the warehouse [no idea who does the compelling]. Jillian. Will asks if Satan will let the women go if he agrees. Hanna lunges for him; Satan hurls her back. Will rushes to Hanna, who is dead. Will presses his ancient cross against her, and she comes back to life.