Impending Love and Madness

by Laura Freeman

  “It distressed me deeply when you did not say goodbye at the train station. Harry wrote that you witnessed the kiss we shared.”

  Zach looked up. “I appreciate you going behind my back, Harry.”

  “You should have written more than two lines.”

  “Did you read my letter?”

  “We read all your letters,” Ethan said. “We wouldn’t want you to divulge any military secrets in your love-struck state.”

  “What military secrets? The war is over, and my letters are personal.”

  “They certainly are,” Ethan agreed.

  Zach waved the letter in the air. “Then you know what this one says.”

  “We like the next part,” Harry said. “Read it aloud.”

  His friends were incorrigible, but their hearts were in the right place. They wanted to help him.

  “I would hope as friends, we could discuss any misunderstandings openly and honestly. When we see one another in Darrow Falls, we can determine the depth of our relationship.”

  Zach looked up. “What does she mean by that?”

  “She wants to know whether you are a friend or more,” Ethan said.

  He loved her, but if witnessing Harry kissing her had left him broken, her rejection would destroy him. He kept his eyes downcast. He didn’t want his friends to laugh at him, but he couldn’t deny his feelings.

  “She doesn’t seem to be aware of the depth of your emotion,” Ethan said.

  “You have to tell her,” Harry urged.

  “I could write her a letter.”

  “No!” both men echoed.

  “You have to tell her in person,” Ethan said. “Declare your love.”

  Declare his love without a job or means to support her? “Shouldn’t I wait until I know how she feels first?”

  “That is the burden of being a man,” Ethan said. “We declare our love first. The lady reacts. Sometimes favorably and sometimes not.”

  “Then she can kiss you,” Harry added.

  “Better hope she doesn’t think of you as a cousin, too.” Ethan slapped Harry’s kepi on his head. “Like this poor soldier.”

  ****

  It was July 13 before the Twenty-ninth Ohio received the necessary papers to muster the regiment out of the army. They prepared for the trip to Cleveland to receive an official stamp on the paperwork.

  Before heading north, the men turned in their tent halves and Enfield muskets. Some soldiers bought their rifles for six dollars. Zach didn’t want any reminder of the war. He was a man of peace now. The sound of drums woke them from sleeping under the stars, and the regiment boarded a paddle wheeler, the Melnotte, to Cincinnati and transferred to a train to Cleveland.

  When they lined up, Zach counted two-hundred and thirty-five men mustering out. Regiments were recruited with a thousand men, but the Twenty-ninth had always run short. Wounds, illness, and death had taken their toll on enlistment, but the band of soldiers had bonded like lifelong brothers. Zach recorded each man’s name and address in a book he had used for recording the wounded and dead.

  “We’ll keep in touch, fellas,” Zach said. “We kept each other’s backs during the war. If you ever need anything, don’t hesitate to ask.”

  They marched for review, listened to a speech, and ate breakfast before reporting to Camp Cleveland where their papers were signed and each man received his final pay before heading home.

  When the soldiers reached Darrow Falls, the townsfolk had gathered at the depot to welcome them. It was similar to the time they had furlough in January of 1864, but the crowd was bigger, and the stay would be permanent.

  Family and neighbors escorted them to the center of Darrow Falls where River Road intersected with Main Street to form the town square. The mayor made a speech in front of the Town Hall. The bells rang in the tower of the Community Congregational Church on the opposite end of the square. In between, people gathered on the grass where tables and benches had been arranged for a picnic.

  Harry was surrounded by his parents, brothers, and sister. Ethan’s parents and brother joined him. Zach stood by himself. He’d corresponded with Cass throughout their separation but had not revealed his deepest feelings. Their letters had been friendly but lacked the quality of lovers separated by distance, longing to be reunited. He wanted to declare his love in person. He had rehearsed several speeches, but none seemed adequate.

  He would have only a few days to express his devotion and plan their future before returning to Ravenswood. Three days before leaving Kentucky, Seymour had written that his grandfather had died. The delay in mustering out had been costly. He had looked forward to spending time with Elijah Ravenswood. He was planning to help him with the sale of the horses. Now he would return to an empty house without any guidance or help to carry on as owner. How long would it take to learn to manage a large horse farm?

  Before leaving Darrow Falls, he needed to convince Cass not to abandon him in his absence. He searched the crowd for her, but she wasn’t present.

  The soldiers were served first, and Zach sat near Harry, Ethan, and their families.

  “It’s more fun coming home in July than January,” Harry said between bites of thick steak prepared for the soldiers.

  Harry’s brother, Art, stole a biscuit from his plate. His left arm was in a brace. He had lost a section of bone in his forearm, and the brace allowed him to position his arm in order to use his hand. “What took you so long to muster out?”

  “The paperwork didn’t meet army standards,” Ethan said. “When Billy Sherman inspected the troops, most of the men refused to line up.”

  Art frowned. “What about you?”

  “We’re sergeants,” Harry said. “We convinced enough of the men to make a decent showing for the general.”

  Zach looked around. Still no sign of Cass. “Looks like the whole town is here to welcome us home.”

  Ethan voiced his thoughts. “Where are the Beechers?”

  “Doctor Beecher is delivering a baby. Miss Cassie and Miss Jules are taking care of the mother.” Art lifted a cup to his lips but didn’t sip. “Lots of callers on Sunday afternoon with only two Beecher girls unmarried.”

  Was he warning him not to hesitate? He’d been worried about Harry and had forgotten about all the other men in the area. No wonder the letters from Cass had seemed aloof. He’d lost her.

  “They might attend the dance tonight,” Art said.

  “Dance?”

  “In the church.” Art nodded toward the Congregational Church to the north. “They had a dance July 4 and kept the decorations in place for your homecoming.”

  A dance. He would never have an opportunity to be alone with Cass even if she granted a dance. The older women of town carefully chaperoned social events. Young gentlemen and ladies were required to participate in group dances where partners changed with each set.

  Someone tapped him on the shoulder. “Hello, soldier.”

  He turned at the familiar voice. Cass wore a wide-brimmed straw bonnet that shaded her delicate features from the afternoon sun. She wore a yellow gingham dress with blue flowers splashed across the checkered material. Her parasol was trimmed in a matching ribbon. She was as light as a breeze on a summer day. The sight of her took his breath away, and he couldn’t speak.

  “You remember my father, Dr. Sterling Beecher.”

  Zach stood and shook hands.

  “And my mother and sister, Jules.” Maureen Beecher had wavy ginger hair worn in a chignon. A few lines near her eyes were the only sign she was the grandmother of five with more on the way. Where Cass was cool and steady, Jules was a bundle of nervous energy. She surveyed the crowd, honed in on a group of young women, and hurried off.

  “Have you eaten?” Zach asked.

  “No, we were delayed.”

  “Art said you were helping deliver a baby.”

  “A boy, but he was stubborn about making an appearance,” Cass said.

  Maureen lifted a basket. “I’ll find a shady tree to
sit under. I hope you can join us.”

  “Of course.” Zach offered his arm to Cass and escorted her to the tent where food had been placed for the guests. “You look lovely.”

  Although he had eaten, Zach filled a second plate and recommended several dishes to Cass. They joined Maureen who had spread blankets on the ground for them to sit on.

  Sterling found a bench and placed it nearby. “Shall we see if there is anything left?” He offered his arm to Maureen.

  Zach wasn’t alone with Cass long enough to form his first question. Harry and Ethan took seats on the blanket. Their plates were filled with desserts.

  “I was beginning to think you boys were never returning home,” Cass said. “What took so long?”

  “Clerical error,” Ethan said. “We wanted to get off the train in Akron, but they insisted we travel to Cleveland to show us off.”

  “At least the farewell speech was short,” Harry said.

  “The line to be paid was long but worth it,” Ethan added.

  Every man from the Twenty-ninth was carrying regular pay and bonuses. Zach had his money hidden in a shirt pocket.

  “What are your plans?” Cass asked.

  “Nothing,” Harry said. “Absolutely nothing.”

  “I had plenty of nothing waiting to muster out,” Ethan said. “I think I’ll help Grandpa and Paddy on the Irish Rose. At least until something better comes along.”

  Harry bit into a strawberry tart. “Aren’t you going to need help at Ravenswood?”

  Zach nodded. “I’ll send word once I’m settled.”

  Cass turned. “Did you write your grandfather about Harry working for you?”

  “No.” Zach withdrew a letter from his coat. “Seymour wrote that my grandfather died.”

  She gasped, and the pain of death was etched on her delicate features. She reached out and touched his sleeve. “I’m sorry.”

  “I should have been with him.” Zach stared at the simple message Seymour had sent.

  Elijah Ravenswood died during his sleep on July 7.

  The date was significant. The trial for those involved in Lincoln’s assassination had begun May 10 and lasted seven weeks. The jury deliberated for three days, and on the morning of July 7 co-conspirators Mary Surratt, Lewis Powell, George Atzerodt, and David Herold were hanged. Dr. Samuel Mudd, Michael O’Laughlen, Ned Spangler, and Samuel Arnold were sentenced to prison.

  The final chapter of Lincoln’s assassination had ended, but the closure produced little peace. A man who had the potential to heal the country was dead. And no amount of justice could restore his life. Others would have to carry on his unfinished work. Zach turned his attention to the letter.

  When will you visit?

  Visit. Did Seymour think he wouldn’t claim Ravenswood as his home? Pax had been the heir. Zach had been a spare. But after Pax died, his grandfather had taken him under his tutelage, sharing the history of Ravenswood and the dreams he hoped Zach would fulfill.

  “I was looking forward to seeing him again.” He crumpled the letter. “This war robbed me of so many things. I lost my brother and now the last of my family.”

  Cass looked at him with misty eyes, and he regretted his outburst. “When do you return to Ravenswood?”

  Zach had replied to Seymour’s news that his discharge had been delayed, but any questions could be answered by his lawyer, Tyler Montgomery.

  Seymour had always handled the financial and legal matters for Elijah, but last January while on furlough, Zach had contacted Tyler about representing him while he served out the remainder of his enlistment. As far as he knew, Seymour had been unaware of the arrangement until now. Tyler had written that he had visited Ravenswood and later met with Elijah about a new will. “I need to meet with your brother-in-law, Tyler. Is he here?”

  Cass surveyed the crowd and turned to her parents when they returned. “Are Tyler and Cory coming?”

  “Olivia has the chicken pox.”

  “Didn’t the boys have that several weeks ago?”

  “They generously shared it with Olivia,” Sterling said.

  “I’ll take you to Glen Knolls tomorrow,” Cass said. “Unless you need to return to Ravenswood immediately.”

  “I have the rest of my life to manage Ravenswood,” Zach said. Seymour would discover his visit would be permanent.

  “If you’re visiting Glen Knolls, I have a mixture of oats with chamomile and lavender oils for a bath to help with the itching and keep Olivia from scratching,” Sterling said.

  Maureen turned to Zach. “Where are you staying?”

  “I left my bag at the depot. I hear Mrs. Stone’s inn is nice.”

  “You’ll stay with us,” Maureen said. “We have plenty of room.”

  “I don’t need anything fancy. I slept under the stars last night.”

  “We all did,” Harry said. “They collected our tent halves so we had no choice.”

  “At least it didn’t rain,” Ethan said.

  “I want to thank you boys…I mean young men for your service.” Sterling extended his hand to each of them. “If you need any medical care or need to talk, your visit is free.”

  “Thank you, sir,” they echoed.

  Cass looked at the setting sun. “Tonight ought to be beautiful for the dance.”

  “I’d like to escort you if the role isn’t taken,” Zach said.

  “I’d be honored.”

  Chapter Thirteen

  Cass had planned to keep Zach guessing about her feelings until he declared his own. But news of his grandfather’s death had softened her heart, and she had agreed to accompany him to the dance. The ladies retired to the Town Hall to change into their ball gowns. The sandstone building was two stories high with double doors that opened to a small foyer and the main room beyond. A narrow staircase led to the second floor. The offices on the upper level had been opened for the ladies to transform from day dresses to formal wear.

  Cass and Jules helped each other dress. Their grandmother had made the gowns for the Independence Day dance, but no one would fault them for wearing the dresses again.

  Jules wore a dress of red and white stripes with a belt of blue. She wore her hair high on her head with a cascade of strawberry curls. Jules examined the low-cut bodice of her gown. “When am I going to have a bosom?”

  Cass laughed at her sister’s worry. “None of the Beecher sisters has ever lacked a bosom. By next year you’ll fill out.”

  Cass leaned close to Jules to study their reflections in the mirror. Cass with her dark hair and hazel eyes was a sharp contrast to the strawberry blond curls and blue eyes Jules had inherited. Jules was pretty like a doll while Cass had a more classic beauty. Her dark brows and lashes emphasized her eyes. She rubbed some oil on her lips. She wanted Zach to kiss her followed by words of love. Their letters had been painfully formal, unable to express the gnawing desire to be together. Events had worked against them. First, Lincoln’s assassination, then the long wait to be mustered from the army, and now his grandfather’s death. Would they ever have a normal courtship?

  “Why did you agree to allow Zach to escort you?” Jules asked. “You said you were mad at him for not saying goodbye.”

  “I’ve had plenty of time to think matters over,” Cass said. “Being angry at a man only delays the conversation you need to air how you feel.”

  “Didn’t you write him how you felt?”

  “I have to see him in person. I have to see his reaction to my words. I couldn’t explain the reason I kissed Harry in a letter. How do I explain Harry means nothing to me? He’s Zach’s best friend. That’s the worst betrayal.”

  “You didn’t kiss him.”

  “I sort of did.”

  “What?”

  “I wanted to make sure,” Cass said. “The first kiss was so boring. No kiss could be that bad, but I was wrong. That’s when we laughed about any chance for a romance. We could never be more than friends.”

  “Did Zach see you laughing?”

&nb
sp; Cass didn’t know. She had hurt Zach and needed to make amends.

  “You better not tell him about kissing the men who have called on you.”

  “I kissed two men and don’t you dare say a word,” Cass threatened. “I was only confirming my theory.”

  “When did you become a scientist?”

  “Remember how Cole taught us you didn’t know if there was any passion without a kiss?”

  “On the Irish Rose in ’62.”

  “They all failed. Why do you think I sent them packing? The only man who has sparked a blaze in my heart is Zach Ravenswood.”

  “Do you think I’m too young to kiss men?”

  “Yes,” Cass said.

  “I’m fifteen going on sixteen.”

  “You’re the baby of the family, and you’ve only been wearing long skirts since last fall,” Cass said. “You’re lucky our sisters are too busy advising me about love. Wait until you’re the target of their wisdom. I hardly had a minute alone with Zach in Washington City.”

  “All the poetry reading and tea sipping seems silly,” Jules said. “But I like the gifts.”

  “Courting isn’t about gifts. You’re shopping for a husband.”

  “I don’t want to marry,” Jules said. “With everyone gone, I have the entire house to myself.”

  Was Jules serious? “You don’t want a husband?”

  “Big brutes,” Jules said. “A handyman is as good, and Matt does whatever I ask.”

  “You’ll change your mind when the right man comes along and you fall in love.”

  “What if he crosses my path but I don’t know it,” Jules said. “I may have met him and didn’t notice.”

  Her logic was making Cass dizzy. “That’s not how it works. You have to meet. You share a look, maybe a touch of the hands, even a kiss.” She clapped her hands. “Magic. And you know he’s the one you want to spend the rest of your life with.”

  Jules threw her day dress and other items into the dress box. “Zach?”

  Cass closed the lid and tied a string around her dress box. “He has to propose first.”

  “Do you think he’ll do it tonight?”