by Hazel Keys
Jake was now getting a little bratty, since he could tell I was playing hard to get—or more specifically, hard to look at for more than three seconds. I couldn’t imagine what I would say if he were to bust me right now.
Mmmm…speaking of busting me right now…thoughts and images of letting Jake take me and rough-fuck me were filling my head nonstop. Would he notice? Would it be taking advantage of him if I let him just…take me and do what he wants?
Maybe…maybe I would never tell him. Could I really do that? Have sex with him and then disappear? Isn’t that how he dates most girls anyway?
I glanced over at him and smiled and he smiled back. His face, however, was dominant, almost toying with me. He knew I was attracted to him and so flabbergasted with the idea of sex I could barely utter a sound.
And that’s when I officially freaked out. Knowing that I was just a word away from indulging in my hottest fantasy. Knowing all the power was mine. Damn Cammie for getting it right!
“Well thanks for the drink,” I said, putting the empty glass down. “But I have to go.”
“Whoah, what are you Cinderella? Are you going to turn into a wench at midnight or something?”
“Something like that,” I whispered with a smile. I quickly rose from my chair and glanced at him again, not a second too long.
“Really, I have to go. But it was nice meeting you.”
“Yeah well…we didn’t really meet. We just sort of exchanged glances.”
I know, I know it was terrible to run away from a guy who was that into me. But I just couldn’t handle it anymore. The more we talked, the more enamored he was by “Catalina” my bimbo alternate personality!
He chased me out of the bar asking for my number or trying to arrange a second date. I panicked and rejected him, and I’m sure he sensed that I was running.
For a guy like Jake, a woman running away is more addictive than crack! Now the competition is on. He wants to win. He wants to have the unattainable beauty queen.
The sad thing was, if he really knew who I was…he wouldn’t want me, would he?
**
“Oh God, Cammie,” I told my sister. “I don’t know what to do about him. I see him in that bar just waiting for me to come back. If he knew where I was staying, he’d probably be stalking me.”
“Wow, he was that enraptured by you?”
“Don’t act surprised!”
“Sorry, I didn’t mean it that. I just meant...with your personality? He still wanted to see you again?”
I snorted and gave her a pointy finger. “That’s not a compliment, ya jerk.”
“Sorry. I’m so used to giving back handed compliments I’ve turned it into an art form.”
“…And no, for your information, NOT my personality. I just dribbled on like a brainless bimbo. That’s why he was attracted to me.”
“Hmmm, you think so?”
“Well of course. I didn’t look like myself. I didn’t act like myself. I was just playing this silly game. He fell for the game.”
“Yeah but…you never know, maybe he was responding to your body chemistry. Maybe you are really compatible underneath all the fakery.”
“Geez, sis, you’re getting into very speculative stuff. I’m not talking about pheromones. I’m just saying, if we base an entire relationship on a pretense…it’s bound to fail.”
“I have an idea,” she said with an energetic smile.
“What?”
“See how well you two get along on the phone. If you have a great conversation then you’ll know it’s something real. Not just physical lust.”
“The phone? But won’t he recognize my voice?”
“Probably not. If you talk the same way you did in person.”
“Oh man, I don’t even remember how I talked. Kind of soft and whispery.”
“There you go. He’s going to be visualizing Catalina, right? So he’s going to be hearing you in Catalina’s voice, no matter how you talk. That’s just how guy’s minds work.”
“I guess…but how am I going to see him again? I left without saying goodbye. I was terribly rude…”
“I got it. I’ll be your wing-woman. I’ll approach him and tell him that I’m your friend. If he wants to talk to you, which I guarantee you he will, he has to go through me.”
“And you’ll set up the phone call?”
“Sure. What are sister’s for?” she smiled.
Cammie approached Jake and played the messenger for me. She made up an excuse that I was sick but that I would call him when I recovered to full health. Good excuse…and she got his number.
I still remember how nervous I was when I first talked to Jake on the phone as “Catalina.” I was giggling and blushing through the whole phone call. I guess my softer voice and less assertive comments DID sound like the Catalina version of me, at least to Jake.
Because he was on a roll. Cracking jokes, using that deep sexy voice of his to get a point across…
“No I mean it, you’re beautiful. Don’t ever let anyone tell you different. You’re the type of girl a guy writes home about. You’re a natural beauty.”
And…
“Catalina, let me ask you something. “What’s the happiest memory you can remember?”
And…
“When I take photos I am actually creating a living memory. I keep thinking this image is going to be here for the rest of the client’s life. I need to make it good. But more importantly, I need to make it now. Make it important. Convey a thought that’s going to inspire…evoke.”
And…
“The truth is I don’t care about looks.”
That last statement really threw me for a look. If he never cared about looks, why didn’t he even notice me in the first place? Was it because he really thought I was gay and not interested in him? Or was he relieved that I was unavailable and is THAT why we got along so well?
Damn…we talked all night. I even worried that I might forget my “character” and let my real voice go, alerting him. But he didn’t say anything. He just went with the flow.
And I woke up the next morning with Jake on my mind, even more weak at the knee than before!
Chapter 5:Jake
“I’m telling you David,” I said, hyped up on coffee and love. “I’ve never met a girl like this before.” I met with my friends for brunch but mainly to talk about Catalina—the exotic and mysterious beauty.
“The fact that you still call her GIRL makes me think you’re just chasing tail,” Amelia said, pissy as always.
“Oh can it, woman. I don’t raise a stink whenever a girl calls me a guy.”
“Yeah but as you proved with Kim, all you want is sex. So I don’t believe you when you say you’re in love.”
“It’s different this time,” I said after a head shake. “She’s unlike anyone I’ve ever met before. She’s…mysterious. Sexy. And just…so out of this world.”
“Like an alien?” David said with a wry look on his face.
“You know what I mean!”
“I dunno,” David replied. Sounds suspicious to me. If she’s not looking you in the face that’s not really mysterious. That’s creepy, like extremely paranoid or psychotic.”
“Yeah,” Amelia added. “What if you wake up without a kidney or something?”
“I think she’s just shy,” I said, though I was definitely not confident about it. Their paranoia started to rub off on me and before I knew it, I was doubting my own feelings. I asked Catalina out and offered her a few different options.
Strangely enough, she only agreed to go to the movies. It didn’t help my paranoia at all. It seemed she was dead set against us making any significant eye contact.
Still, it was cool to sit so close to Catalina in a dark and cool area. It gave us the chance to snuggle. As the movie progressed, she eventually loosened up and let me put my arm around her.
Her body warmed to me and I felt our attraction growing stronger by the minute. It was that amazing sexual tension that come
s along once in a lifetime—where you don’t even have to speak. You just want to touch. You just want to get closer.
At first it was just our elbows touching. She didn’t stop me from bonding with her body. She craved it, I craved it. I couldn’t see her face, dammit, but her aura was all over me. I did something I’ve never done before—I just started necking her right in the theatre!
I was sure she would slap me away, but to my surprise, my forward thinking only propelled us to new heights. She didn’t stop me. Her body became more tense, but her voice was sultry and her breathing shallow. She felt so warm and I wanted to get closer. I kissed her neck quietly, softly, not wanting to alert anybody, but unable to resist for another moment.
She rubbed her face—her mysterious face—against mine and I placed more forbidden kisses on her forehead, her cheeks and her chin. We couldn’t talk…we couldn’t even look at each other. But our desire was unhinged! This woman was crazy and maybe one of the few that could keep up with me sexually…
And yet…also be as defensive as I am when it comes to intimacy. Christ, the woman wouldn’t even let me look her in the eye.
The movie ended before we knew it and we had to leave the theater; me with a big hard on I had to hide and her wet and blushing.
You’d think now would be the reasonable time to have sex in a bathroom stall or something but not with this crazy girl…
“I better just go home,” she said, as always sending me just one glance.
“What? Oh my god! Seriously?! You…you know…you…”
“What?” she said with a bit of a smirk.
“I dunno. I know the type, man. Just wham bam thank you, sir. I’m not a sex toy, you know. I mean I am, but I’m a sex toy with feelings!”
She laughed, still turning away and preventing me from getting closer. “I’m sorry, Jake. I’m not that type of girl. I don’t have sex on the first or second or even third date.”
“All right,” I said, a bit disappointed but not giving up, not by a long shot.“Can I see you again?”
“You are just incorrigible, Jake!” she said with a flirty snicker.
“I am. I’m usually not like this…but you put a spell on me!”
“Okay. We can get together and TALK again. But nothing else.”
“Deal. How do I get a hold of you anyway?”
She hesitated. “I was going to say by phone. But if you’re a gentleman and promise not to stalk me tonight…”
“Promise.”
“It’s room 232,” she said with a wink.
Sounds like a great happy ending, right? Oh My God, no! I couldn’t believe what happened next. I was so elated about my date I told my FRIEND Stephanie everything that happened and she expressed support. A lot of “Go you!” and “Great!”
I made the mistake of telling her the apartment number, because I wasn’t thinking. After all, what could go wrong?
Well, I’ll tell you what went wrong…
The next morning, after honoring my promise, I decided to come pay my very sexy mystery woman a visit. Maybe a little beach walking, or touring, maybe a breakfast out. Sounds romantic right?
The door opens and behold! Stephanie sits there, just waking up and wearing an after-sex t-shirt. And believe me, I know what those shirts look like.
She was in Catalina’s apartment! She seduced my girlfriend!
Well granted, Catalina wasn’t my girlfriend yet. But come on, I have never met such a huge cock block and bro-beater in all my life. What, so lesbians just like to flex nuts and steal every guy’s dream woman? Is it some competitive thing?
I stormed off in rage. She tried to holler at me and apologize but it was too late. How could a friend do this to me? How could anyone rationalize this? Stephanie wasn’t stupid…she knew exactly what she was doing. And I was the biggest schmuck in the world!
Chapter 6: Stephanie
“Ah, I see your dilemma” said Connor, who couldn’t help but laugh at my misfortune. “So you seduced yourself and broke Jake’s heart. He seems like a really smart and sweet guy…except for his stupidity and mean-spirited jealousy.”
I laughed. I tried to be outraged but the whole thing was quite ridiculous. And in Jake’s defense, it was kind of my fault.
“I told him I was gay. And any smart guy, which Jake is, knows that doesn’t change. He’s just taking me at my word. And I lied to him.”
“Hmmm,” Connor said. “Well, only you would be having ‘Batman dating problems’, hon. You have always been the strong and mysterious type of woman, haven’t you?”
“I suppose so! Well I’ll say one thing for me,” I laughed. “Jake will definitely remember this relationship for the rest of his life, no matter how short-lived! I am memorable and I take great pride in that.”
“Aww, Steph,” Connor said, shaking his head. “What are we going to do with you? You’re a beautiful, smart woman and yet you play all these weird games with guys.”
“I know, I do. I make my own hole and jump in it. Every single time. So do you think I should just tell him?”
“Well…” Connor said, standing tall and rubbing his golden blond locks. The man is beautiful himself…I can’t even believe we came from the same parents. “Ordinarily I would say that. But I’m kind of curious to see if Jake really likes you or not.”
“He doesn’t. He’s in love with her.”
“Yes…but a character you projected, Stephanie. He fell in love with the image you projected. Remember that.”
I wasn’t sure what my brother was talking about. Connor always had a way of making me second-guess what I thought I knew. His implication was that Jake and I maybe had a thing going…we were just both being stupid and needed to wise up and accepted what was right in front of us.
I felt silly though, trying to “be myself” around Jake. He didn’t go for me because I wasn’t his type. That’s all there was to it.
But…to my deep frustration, I figured I owed Jake a big apology, even if I did nothing wrong. But in his eyes, I was the worst friend in the world. I seduced his “girlfriend” and taunted him. Of course, with that perspective I look like a real hoe. But if he only knew…that I did seduce Catalina, and that I fucked her pretty good (thinking about HIM that night) the whole thing would be a hilarious misunderstanding.
Er, hilarious and embarrassing.
But it had to be said. I owed him that.
We met in a local coffee shop the next morning as he was pouting and sending me death gazes all morning long. Naturally, I dressed up in my “lesbian” clothes and avoided any Catalina makeup or fashion sense. He had to hear it coming from me. Connor was right, sort of, but I knew that my honesty with Jake was at risk. And I couldn’t keep carrying that.
“I’m sorry, Jake. The truth is…” I flinched and sighed.
“Yeah. Say it!” he said with an angry stare.
“I really…really…really stuck it to Catalina last night.”
He frowned.
“Like really hard. Like…made that bitch scream.”
He shook his head in disgust.
“Because I AM…Catalina…Jake.”
He stared at me for a long ten seconds without any emotion, processing what I just said.
“What?!”
I stared at him with a straight face, letting him know the embarrassing truth.
“What the hell are you saying to me?!”
“Jake…I’m so sorry.” I struggled to speak and once again, could barely look him in the eyes. “I’m all fucked up.”
“Yeah I know, believe me. But why are you lying to me?”
“I’m not. I’ve been lying. Now I’m confessing the truth. I dressed up as Catalina, Jake. Because…I don’t know why I did it. I just did.”
He stared at me again, this time slowly shaking his head in full denial.
“I didn’t seduce your girlfriend. I just took off my makeup. My stupid fake clothes. And I went to bed. I woke up, the ugly trollop you see before you…the same girl you’ve
laughed at for five years. Catalina never existed. It wasn’t nice. It was a cruel thing to do.”
He finally stopped shaking his head. He finally looked into my eyes and gazed into the distracted, scattershot eyes of Catalina, the exotic beauty who never gave him her full attention. This time I stared back at him, in weakness, figuring I owed this to him. It was time to suffer my humiliation.”
“No,” he laughed, resuming the head shaking. “I mean…I saw her. I made out with her!”
He stared at me in discomfort. “I…in the theater…we…I…”
“Yeah, sorry about that. You were a really good kisser…” I said with a nervous smile.
“Holy shit!” he said, finally looking into my eyes and seeing the mystery of Catalina once and for all. “I mean…god! Stephanie what the hell?!”
“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”
He sighed again and this time let the anger boil inside. He furled his brow and pounded his fist on the table. “You played for a fool? An idiot? You think it’s funny?”
“No, I don’t,” I said softly.
“It’s not funny! It’s a pretty goddamned mean thing to do. Why would you do that? I’m your friend…or I thought I was.”
He shook his head in judgment. It was the worst look I had ever seen from him. I felt a fear of losing him for good, as a friend, as anything in my life. An overwhelming urge came over me. I started crying like a baby, like a stupid little “princess” that I swore I would never become. What the fuck was wrong with me?
“I’m sorry…” I said, dripping tears and starting to panic. I rose up quickly and fled the coffee shop, not even giving him one look back. “I don’t blame him if he never talks to me again.”
I ran out of the place like a criminal. My embarrassment for crying in front of him was only dwarfed by my horror at what I had done. What I became. Towards the very end of my run of shame, he called out to me. But it was too late. Too late, my love. I could never see him again. We had to part permanently and forget this awful memory.
**
Well, this was awkward. While I really wanted a tragic love story ending where neither of us ever spoke again…we did sort of have to share a plane ride back home, and sit next to each other. While I did rent Catalina a separate hotel room, I never actually bought another ticket. Looked like I was screwed.