All or None

by Tara Sue Me

  She stared at him with an odd look on her face. He wasn’t sure if it was what he said or if she’d somehow misheard him.

  When he couldn’t stop himself, he asked, “What?”

  “Who are you?”

  He smiled at her question. “I’m still me. Why are you looking at me like that?”

  “I’ve never seen this side of you before, and it’s shocking because I thought I knew you inside and out.”

  At least she wasn’t looking at him like he had two heads anymore. “It didn’t hit me until I was in London. Even then, I didn’t know what my problem was. I thought it was the combination of the divorce and the move. The closest I can come to describing what it felt like would be wearing clothes that didn’t fit quite right or having your shoes on the wrong feet. I knew something wasn’t right, and even though I was uncomfortable, I could put up with it. But working with Restoration opened my eyes to what my problem is. I want to do something other than write a check for an organization. I want to get my hands dirty.”

  “That might be the hottest thing I’ve ever heard come out of your mouth,” she said.

  Ty chuckled. “I find that very hard to believe.”

  “Did you know I haven’t had a job since resigning from the office?”

  “No,” he said. In fact, he couldn’t imagine Lillian not working. She was type person who had to always be busy. “What have you been doing?” He asked, not to imply she was lounging around all day, though working for Isaac as long as she had, she certainly deserved to do just that. No, he asked because couldn’t fathom how she spent her time.

  “For the first few days, all I did was sleep.” She laughed, but he didn’t find it funny at all.

  “Next time I see Isaac, I’m going to kick his ass for working you into exhaustion,” he said.

  “No, you won’t.” She leveled her gaze at him. “I didn’t do anything I didn’t want to.”

  He waved his hand in dismissal, not wanting to discuss his business partner. “I’ll give him a pass this time. What did you do when you woke up?”

  “I tried to figure out what it was I wanted to do with my life.”

  “And did you?”

  “No,” she said. “But when I got home after leaving Maimi, I cleaned out my closet. It was a mess because have done nothing to it since I moved in other than to add more stuff to it. I had so much stuff. It was embarrassing when I saw everything I had in there and knowing how little of it I wore. I had to do something. As it turns out, there’s a women’s shelter, close to your office, and they not only give them a place to live, but they also teach life skills and help them find jobs. Apparently, they’re always needing clothes for when the women go on job interviews. I had finished my clothes and had those packed and ready to go. In fact, I was making a pretty good dent getting my shoes together to go, when I got the call from Eric about you.”

  “Coming here kept you from finishing your donation,” he said. “I’m sorry.”

  “Don’t apologize. It’s not like you had a seizure on purpose, and everything will still be in the spot I left it when I get back home. But the point of that wasn’t to tell you about my closet. It was because it was while I was packing the boxes of clothes, I kept thinking about how awesome it would be to help someone in a more tangible way. Sort of like you said to do more than to only be the person who gives the clothes.”

  “Who are you?” he asked when she finished.

  She threw her seat cushion at him.

  Chapter 25

  Lillian

  Ty looked over at her with an I can’t believe you just did that look on his face. “Oh, Lilli,” he said in his serious as hell Dom voice that electrified her all over. “Did you just throw something at me?”

  They hadn’t talked yet about rekindling the BDSM portion of their relationship, and his use of her submissive name caught her off guard as much as it turned her on. She realized she was gaping at him when the corner of his mouth quirked up.

  “You can tell me no,” he said, but she inferred he wasn’t talking about the question he’d just asked.

  She could tell him no if she wasn’t ready to engage in that dynamic with him yet, or if she needed more time to ensure she could trust him. If she told him no, he would respect her answer and wouldn’t nag her to change her mind.

  On the other hand...

  If she said yes, they could begin again, but stronger and sturdier than before. Was it a risk? Of course it was, but a life without risk was boring. One thing Lillian could say with certainty was that life with Ty would never be boring.

  He watched her with careful eyes, as if uncertain about her response. Though she believed deep down, he knew.

  She gave an exaggerated yawn. “Yes. What are you going to do about it?” She bit the inside of her cheek to stop the laugh threatening to burst out of her at his growl.

  He stood and walked to the foot of her lounger. “Come here.”

  Her heart raced while her body hurried to obey, excited about where he was going to take this. When she stood before him, she didn’t hesitate before going to her knees. Once in position, it seemed as if everything in her world fell into place. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. On her exhale, she let go of the past, and with that simple action, a weight she’d unknowingly carried for the last few years lifted and was gone.

  “I’m not sure I’ve ever seen you smile so big,” Ty said above her.

  She kept her eyes closed. Silly, she knew, but she feared the feeling would disappear if she opened them. “I’ve never felt so…. light…. and free.”

  He dug his fingers into her hair and started a soothing massage. She nearly moaned in pleasure. Head massages were her favorite, and Ty always gave the best ones. Somewhere along the way, she’d forgotten how good it felt.

  He chuckled. “Still like that, do you?”

  “Mmm,” was all she could get out.

  “I remember other things you enjoyed as well.”

  She kept silent because she enjoyed damn near everything they did together.

  “Stand and undress from the waist down,” he said, as if asking for a glass of water.

  Her eyes flew open, and she looked up at him, but he didn’t repeat himself. He never did. He crossed his arms and looked at her with a raised eyebrow.

  She took her time standing, and then, keeping her eyes on his the entire time, slipped off her shorts and underwear, letting them land wherever they fell.

  “Very nice, Lilli,” he said, his eyes growing dark as he took the sight of her in. “Go lean across the railing.”

  They were on the top floor and even though she knew no one could see them because of the way the various floors and buildings and floors were arranged, it still felt hedonistic. Did she really feel that free?

  “Are you sure you’re up to this?” she asked. “They only released you from the hospital this morning.”

  He unzipped his shorts and drew them down over his hip. Unlike her, he didn’t have any underwear on. “Does it appear as if I’m up for it?”

  She eyed his erection. “All your parts appear to be fully operational.”

  “I assure you they are,” he said with a hint of a smile. “So while I appreciate the concern, please note for future reference that I’m very aware of my limits.”

  If she thought hard enough about it, she’d be able to come up with more things to argue about, but the truth of the matter was, after seeing how hard he was, arguing was the last thing on her mind.

  “In that case,” she said, walking past him to the railing. “Come here and give it to me.”

  No sooner had she got into position, than Ty was behind her. He rotated his hips to let her feel the length of him.

  “Feel how hard you make me?” His hands slipped between her legs and he groaned at what he found. “Because I feel how wet you are for me.”

  It was true, she’d never again deny how responsive she was to Ty. She pushed her hips back, not wanting foreplay or verbal spats or a
nything other than him inside her. The fact he didn’t smack her ass or tell her to wait until he was ready, showed how much he needed her as well.

  He pushed inside her with a thrust that sent her upper body slamming into the stone railing. Good thing it was stone, he might have shattered it had it been wood. There was nothing sweet or gentle like before. He didn’t relent or slow down, pounding into her harder and harder, claiming every inch of her. Just when she thought he couldn’t get any deeper, he’d adjust his angle or shift her hips a bit, and she’d be proven wrong.

  “Look at that, down there,” he said, his breathing only slightly ragged.

  She opened her eyes, look down, and gasped.

  Ty chuckled. “I’ll admit, I made sure no one could see us from their room, but I forgot the people on the ground could see us if they looked up.”

  She knew he’d done no such thing. Ty wasn’t one to forget things like that. He’d wanted to wait until this exact moment to bring it up.

  “As long as you’re quiet and don’t scream or anything, we should be fine,” he whispered.

  Of course, she had no problem being silent before he mentioned the potential of being seen by people on the ground. Now, with his every thrust, every scrape of the rough stone on her exposed skin, and every grunt he gave as he fucked her harder and faster had her gritting her teeth against the whimpers of pleasure that would surely turn to screams if she allowed even the tiniest of peeps out.

  Just when she thought she had herself under control, Ty started talking in a low grumble.

  “Fuck, you’re so tight around my dick.”

  “Spread your legs wider, Lilli. I think I can go a little deeper…. oh fuck, yeah, just like that.”

  Her body trembled with her approaching climax. She wasn’t going to be able to hold it back. And it was going to be loud. “Ty,” she panted. “I can’t be quiet… I can’t…”

  She wasn’t sure he heard her until he suddenly pulled out, lifted her into his arms and carried her through the door they’d thankfully left open, leading to the bedroom. He lifted her to where only her upper body was on the bed and hooked her legs over his shoulder. Holy fuck, he was going to hit everything in that position.

  “Let me hear you scream,” he said before fucking his cock into her so hard and deep, she saw stars. Orgasm hit her so hard and fast, she couldn’t tell if she screamed or not. Ty pumped his hips one more time and held still deep inside for his own release.

  “Holy shit,” he said, pulling them further up the bed and then collapsing beside her. “I think you killed me.”

  “Me?” she asked. “You almost killed me and got me arrested for indecent exposure.”

  “I don’t think anyone would have been able to see you even if you’d screamed.”

  “How’s that?” Because from where she’d been standing, all they would have had to do was to look up.

  “I don’t think they would have seen anything that way.”

  “Why?”

  “Because I checked out the angle when we were outside walking on the beach. They architecture is incredible.”

  It shouldn’t surprise her he’d thought to check something like that, but it always did. Sitting up, she reached for the bottle of water on the nightstand, causing her thighs to protest. “Ow,” she said. “I didn’t realize sex involved otherwise unused muscles.”

  “Are you sore?”

  “Only a little, and nothing I can’t handle.” She didn’t want to give him the impression she couldn’t handle a second round.

  He placed a hand on her thigh. “Are you sure?”

  “Before the last week, I hadn’t had sex in three years,” she said. “Do you really think I’m going to let a few sore muscles stop me now?”

  “You really haven’t been with anyone since the divorce?” He reached across her to get the water bottle she wanted.

  “No one.” She took a big swallow of the water. “At first it was because I worked so much, or at least that’s what I told myself. The truth was, I didn’t want anyone other than you.”

  He swept a piece of hair out of her face. “I know how you feel.”

  She raised an eyebrow at him. “How’s that?”

  “How many women do you think I’ve been with since the divorce?”

  “I don’t know.” She wrinkled her forehead. “Between three and five?”

  “Try zero.”

  Chapter 26

  Ty

  Ty supposed her shock shouldn’t surprise him. Everyone else he’d talked with assumed he’d become a man-whore after Lillian left him, though he never could understand why they would think such a thing.

  “I won’t say I never dated, because I did. Hell, you remember Janice went with me.” At her nod, he continued. “And you know how my sister is, always trying to set people up. God, sometimes that woman drove me up the wall. So, yeah, I went out a few times, but nothing else.”

  She still had the gobsmacked look on her face. “But you were always such a sexual person.”

  “As were you,” he pointed out. “Looks as though we were both only sexual with each other.”

  She smiled at that, he was pleased to note. “That makes sense.”

  He watched her and couldn’t help but wonder if she truly understood. “What you and I have is beyond anything physical.” Using only one finger, he traced her lips, then drew his finger downward, brushing her collarbone, before dragging his fingertip to the sensitive spot in the crook of elbow.

  She shivered delightfully.

  “Do you think any other woman would respond to my touch that way?”

  “Eventually.”

  “You really think so?” He swirled his finger around one of her nipples and enjoyed the moan she gave in response. It turned him on so much, he lowered his head and sucked it into his mouth. Hearing her sharp intake of breath, he bit it gently. That time she yelped. “Because I don’t think anyone else would even come close.”

  She remained silent, but there were still doubts in her eyes.

  “Come here,” he said, pulling her into his lap. His hands skimmed her curves. “No one else has a body made for me alone.” He took her hand and placed it on his length, already hard again. “No one else does this to me.”

  She scooted down, looking at him with questions in her eyes. She wanted to take him in her mouth and was looking for permission. As much as he loved watching her lips around his dick as he pushed into her mouth, it wouldn’t happen right now.

  “Later,” he told her. “I won’t last two seconds if you so much as breathe on me.” It wasn’t an exaggeration. “Come here and sit on my cock.”

  She took her time situating herself so she straddled him. Then, ever so slowly, she eased her way onto his cock. He loved this position. No matter if she rode him or if he held her hips still and steady as he fucked her.

  This time, however, once she’d taken him all the way inside, he stopped her. He wanted to ensure she didn’t move, but felt every inch he had inside her. “Do you feel me inside you? Feel the way I fill you up? I can’t do this with another woman. Being inside you is more than a physical act. It’s so much more. I only want this connection with you, and if that’s not possible for whatever reason, I’m fine not having it all. I love you, and only you.” He removed his hands. “Now ride me. Do it slow so you take in every sensation.”

  She had tears running down her cheeks, but she obeyed him, and even though he’d like nothing more than to drive himself into her over and over, he let her lead. He wanted her to search and discover her own truth in their union.

  He knew she’d found it when she moved, demanding more from herself and demanding more from him. He willingly gave her everything he had, holding on to her, and watching as she drove them.

  She was fierce and forceful, striving for her pleasure and using his body to find it. He’d never experienced anything hotter, and as soon as her climax hit, he was right behind her.

  For several minutes they didn’t move. If it were
possible for them to stay the way they were right this minute, wrapped up in each other, no outside worries or troubles, he’d do it. But he knew all too well the impossibility of that.

  Which left them with only one other option.

  “Lillian?” he asked.

  “Mmm,” she muttered against his chest.

  “Marry me.”

  Her eyes flew open. “Are you serious?”

  “Never been more serious in my life,” he said. “In fact, I don’t want to wait. Let’s do it here. Before we go back home.”

  “You’ve lost your mind.”

  “I know. Will you have me anyway?”

  She laughed. “Yes.”

  Epilogue

  Lillian

  Eight Months Later

  * * *

  Lillian looked around the table at the people who meant the most to her. Lance and Celeste. Isaac and Maggie. And, of course, Ty. They were having dinner at Windows, a new restaurant in Manhattan. Though the building the restaurant occupied the top floor of wasn’t the tallest in the city, when you looked out of the floor to ceiling windows of the private dining room on the seventy-eighth floor, you didn’t care.

  Conversation at the table was animated. Though that was expected whenever the six friends got together, it was even more so tonight. No doubt, because of the wedding tomorrow.

  Lance and Celeste were glowing, Lillian thought. She'd first met the young woman who’d captured Lance’s attention so quickly during her audition for his family’s scholarship at his Grandmother Barbara’s house. If you’d told her then the calm, quiet young woman would have ended up his wife, she’d have laughed her ass off.

  Lillian also remembered having a conversation with Lance not long after that first meeting in which he mentioned his concern with their seventeen year age difference. She was glad to see that no longer bothered him. Twenty-seven-year-old Celeste had confided in Lillian since then that she’d always had a thing for older men. After turning twenty, she’d said, she dated no one less than ten years older, claiming guys her own age were idiots.